AN - My donation for Fandom For Sexual Assault Awareness. I hope we all manage to raise a lot of money for a very worthy cause. There is still a stigma for men and women who are assaulted in this way, and many don't report it for fear of not being believed and the dread of having to relive it over and over again.
As is usual with my stories, this is set in London and is written in British English, so if there's anything you're unsure of, just ask me. The characters in this one are not as portrayed by S. Meyer in the books. They are described as the actors who play them in the films, cause lets face is, while Jasper's hot, Jackson's hotter! I just want to give uber thanks to texasbella for being an awesome beta and morale booster in this fic. Love ya doll. Thanks to Christine for my awesome banner!
Author Name mouse555
Summary Social networking sites are good for getting back in contact with old friends, but what about old flames?
Disclaimer We all know S. Meyer owns Twilight and we're all jealous of that fact. I, however, own bits and bobs that may or may not have Jackson's face on.
I walked out of Victoria Coach Station and took a deep breath, there was nothing like the air in London. Although I hadn't lived in the city for almost ten years, it still felt like home and as soon as I was inside the city limits, I was able to relax. Friends where I lived didn't understand it. All they saw of London was the rushing around and the traffic, but to me, that was just part of its charm.
I lit a cigarette and began walking to the tube station to head over to Islington to visit an old friend, Victoria, from school. It had been a while since we'd seen each other, although we spoke all the time on the phone or on Skype. It was early afternoon and there were people out on the street, but it wasn't quite rush hour.
I swiped my oyster card at the barrier and descended down to the platform to begin my journey to North London. Glancing up at the electronic display I saw that I had a wait of three minutes. I found a seat and sat down before shoving my headphones in and turning my music up loud.
The tell tale gust of wind from the tunnel indicated the tube was approaching the platform. I stood up and moved closer to the edge. There were only four or five other people on the platform with me, and when I got onto the train, I had the carriage to myself. I sat down and pulled my book out. The train had gone three or four stops before anyone else came into the carriage. I didn't bother looking up from my book as I sensed someone looking at me from the other end. I did, however, glance up at the map to check how many stops I had before I needed to get off.
Walking through the station to head out into the street, my phone bleeped alerting me that I had received tweets while out of range. As I was now above ground I was able to get a signal on my phone so I pulled iit out of my pocket and opened Twitter.
ShortnSassy If I didn't know better, I would swear blind I just saw your doppelganger
I smiled brightly. Jasper was an ex from when we were at school. We had both moved out of London and hadn't spoken in years, but recently reconnected through Twitter and Facebook .
JazzGooner Well, you do know better, why would I be in Edinburgh?
ShortnSassy Didn't I tell you? I'm not at home, I'm in London for the Arsenal game this weekend
Crap. He was in London too? I didn't quite know what to make of this information. Ever since we'd gotten back in contact, things had quickly gotten 'heated' as we had what he called 'unfinished business'. I thought back to when we dated. He was a year ahead of me in school, and I knew him as his brother Peter was in my year. When I went into 6th form, I got friendly with a girl who was good friends with him. I'd had a crush on him for a while, but me being me, never acted on it until a group of us had gone out drinking.
We'd been sat next to each other just talking when one of our friends had bumped into my chair, drunk as a skunk and knocked me straight into Jasper's lap. When I had tried to stand to return to my seat, he held me firmly by my waist and kept me where I was. I turned my head to ask him what he was doing, before I could speak, he was kissing me. The next few months were fun, but never developed into anything serious. We were both young and inexperienced and things came to an abrupt end when Jasper left London to go to Edinburgh University.
I didn't know what to reply. Should I tell him I was in London too? My finger hovered over the screen for a second before i began tapping out my response.
JazzGooner So, where did you see my doppelganger? I decided to play coy. If only I had looked up when he joined me in the carriage.
ShortnSassy On the tube at Oxford Circus.
JazzGooner Maybe you should have said hi to her. :) Why wasn't I confirming that it was me? Oh yeah... his wife. He'd married not long after he'd finished his degree. I'd seen pictures of them on facebook, and had to admit; he'd aged really well, but couldn't understand why he was with her. Apart from me, girls I had seen him with at school were gorgeous. His wife... well, I felt like the stereotypical bitchy ex for saying it, but she was no oil painting.
ShortnSassy If it had been you I would have. But I would have ended up speaking to some random girl and been late for football
JazzGooner Like you'd miss the Arsenal for anyone or anything HA!
ShortnSassy I would... for a few hours with you. This statement shouldn't have shocked me as much as it did. After all, we'd had Twitter sex through DM's on more than one occasion, but that was pure fantasy, wasn't it? I put my phone away and decided to talk to Vicky about it. She was good with advice like that, plus, she knew Jasper at school too which was always a bonus.
I emerged from the station to bright sunshine and began to walk the short distance to Vicky's flat. I couldn't wait to see her again, and we had an evening of catching up planned. Dinner, wine and plenty of gossip. I arrived outside her small flat and before I could walk up the path to her door, she burst through her door and ran to me, her flame red hair flying behind her. She threw her arms around me and hugged me tight.
"Jesus woman, could you look anymore gorgeous?" She fingered a loose curl of my long hair. Last time she'd seen me, I'd had a pixie cut which I hated. That was going to be the last time I agreed to a haircut whilst drunk.
"Shut your face. Look at that hair, I don't see even one grey." I indicated my temple where a few strands were beginning to show.
"Well... you are a bit of a crone." She ducked as I flung my arm out to swipe at her.
"Now I know why I don't come to visit too often." I grinned.
"Oh Bitch please. You love me. Wine?"
"You may just have twisted my arm there." We went inside and I was amazed by her flat. Yes, it was tiny, but it was all in perfect proportion. Shabby chic suited Vic down to the ground and made me consider redecorating when I got back home. We settled onto her plush sofas ready to drink and catch up.
Three bottles of rose later and we were both starving.
"I'm too drunk to cook - oh wait, hottie firemen..." Vic sat in her garden chair staring blissfully off into space.
"We are NOT setting fire to your flat in the merest of hopes that the firemen are cute. Let's go out to eat." I dragged her to her feet and we stumbled out of the front door and along the street. Hanging off each other's arms we weaved along the road until we found the first place that served food.
"Oooh, curry," Vic squealed. "Perfect." The small tandoori restaurant was fairly quiet, until we walked in. The gaudy decorations behind the bar glinted in the dim lamplight as the waiter showed us to our table and handed us a menu each. Vic ordered another bottle of wine before beginning the age old decision... what to eat?
Just as the waiter had delivered our ice cold bottle of wine, the door to the restaurant opened. I automatically looked up and nearly fell off my chair, and not because of the drunken stupor I was in.
"Fuck!" I groaned causing Vic to turn her head.
"Is that...?" I nodded trying to discreetly hide my face. She burst out laughing, throwing her head back causing every single person in the place to look over at us, including Jasper. Throwing her an evil look, knowing she'd done it on purpose, I plastered a smile on my face as he approached the table.
"Well, now I know why you didn't respond to my tweet." He smirked, his green eyes twinkling as he said his hellos to Vic.
"Yeah. I wasn't quite sure what to say." I knew he'd understand. For all our bravado online, both of us had admitted we were unsure of what would actually happen if we ever met up again.
"Fair enough. Mind if we join you?" Without waiting for a response, he slid in next to me while his friend sat next to Vic. "You remember Edward from school?" He asked us both. I really didn't until Edward looked up at me and I had a mental image of thick, black framed glasses and train track braces.
"Of course. Hey, how's it been?" I smiled while Vic stared at him like he was a perfectly seasoned sirloin steak. I couldn't get why, she'd pretty much ignored him at school, setting her sights on the 'pretty' boys.
"Can't complain I guess. Long time no see huh?" The conversation was going to be awkward, I could sense it. From what I remembered about Edward from school was that he was a bit of a loner, his only real friend being Jasper. Their love of football and Arsenal the main connection they had, but it worked for them.
"So, how did the football go?" I asked to change the subject.
"We spanked the Spurs three nil." Jasper was beaming, a slight twinkle to his green eyes.
"Oh, so someone's in a good mood." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Vic, in all her drunken goodness, was talking at Edward as if her life depended on it. The waiter approached our table, took our orders and disappeared through a set of doors at the back of the restaurant.
"I was in a good mood, but now I'm in a wonderful mood." Jasper's deep voice washed over me like liquid. I looked at him, my one eyebrow raised.
"Oh, really? You and Edward are close then?" I couldn't help but tease him as I always did causing him to splutter.
"Why do you always do that?" His tone was semi serious, but his eyes were still twinkling. "I think that you should know I am NOT that way inclined."
"Oh, and why should I? It's easy to hide behind a screen you know." I continued to tease as our food was placed in front of us. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper shake his head before he began to eat.
General small talk and chit chat passed between the four of us as we ate our food, teasing each other about how we looked and acted at school. I wasn't sure who pulled their phone out first and began to take photos to post on Facebook.
"Won't the wife be funny about pictures of you with other women showing up?" I asked Jasper as Edward began uploading some after adding Vic and myself as friends.
"Shit man, I never thought about Maria." Edward froze.
"No worries. What can she say? I just bumped into some old school friends after the football." Jasper blew off any worries.
"I didn't know you were married." Vic looked at me sideways.
"Yeah, eight years now." Was I the only who heard the slight sadness in his voice?
"No." Jasper had told me that they'd tried for years without success and I knew it was a sensitive subject for him.
"So, when you heading back home?" I blurted out without thinking.
"Tomorrow afternoon. Gotta go visit the parents and Peter I guess, otherwise my name would be mud." He flashed his wide smile again which made his entire face light up and his eyes twinkle. Before I could respond, Vic piped up.
"Hey, I have plenty of drink round at mine, fancy making a night of it?" Edward nodded his head while Jasper looked as apprehensive as I felt. "Oh go on. Live a little." I was glaring at Vic, trying to subliminally tell her to shut the fuck up, but Edward joined in with the goading.
"Go on mate. You said you were only visiting family tomorrow, a hangover won't put a stop to that. The you can sleep on the coach home." I could tell he wanted to spend more time with Vic rather than having a drinking session with Jasper and myself.
"Only a couple, then I really need to get over to visit the parents." With the agreement in place, we settled up the bill and headed out into the street to walk the short distance back to Vic's flat. My stomach churning slightly.
I could feel Jasper's eyes constantly on me as I watched Vic and Edward giggle and flirt over her cd collection which, like everything else in her flat, was colour coded. Her OCD made me laugh sometimes, but it was just one of her little foibles that made her who she was. Placing my yet again empty wine glass on the coffee table, I headed outside into the postage stamp sized garden for a cigarette.
"You look cold." Jasper's voice didn't surprise me all that much, but I hadn't expected him to join me so quickly.
"I'm OK." I lied as a shiver ran through my body. What did make me jump was the feel of his jacket being placed onto my shoulders, still warm from his own body heat. "Thanks." I looked up at him, smiling gently.
"It's nothing..." His voice trailed away as a distant look crossed his face. Rather than disturb him, I took the opportunity to look at him properly for the first time in at least fifteen years. He had filled out slightly over the years, but it suited him. His face was slightly rounded, but I could still see the cheekbones that had garnered him plenty of attention from the girls at school. Then there were his eyes. They were green, but there was a ring of an almost golden honey colour around the pupil. They were absolutely mesmerising as he looked off into the distance, but when he turned and looked me straight in the eye, they almost took my breath away. "... Sorry, I was miles away for a minute there."
"Just hope it was worth the fleeting visit then." He smiled. A full, real smile that lit up his whole face.
"Always is... " Rather than finish his sentence, he bent his head and captured my lips with his own. A moan escaped from my throat as he immediately took control and thrust his tongue into my mouth. As suddenly as he had kissed me, he pulled away. "... it's where I can do that without having to worry about anything or anyone else." He began to walk forwards, slowly pushing me backwards until my back was flush against the garden fence. "Where I can do this..." He slowly and gently ran his hand down my arms and brought them to rest on my hips. "... I never forgot this body even though I never got to see it naked and in my bed."
"Jasper... " I knew I shouldn't, but I wanted to feel his mouth on mine again so I took charge. I wound my hand around the back of his neck, stood on my tiptoes and took his bottom lip between my teeth. His grip on my hips tightened as our kisses deepened in intensity. An animalistic groan erupted from Jasper's chest as I pulled away. "We shouldn't... your wife... "
"Please don't mention... not now when I finally have you in my arms again. Please."
"I don't want to, but I have to. We can't... Twitter's different, nothing actually happened, but I still felt guilty, this is even worse." I pecked him on the cheek and whispered "I'm sorry." before going back inside.
The living room was quiet and empty when I walked through the kitchen. I shrugged off Jasper's jacket and placed it gently over the back of the armchair. I stood in the middle of the room looking around before taking my bag into the spare room where I quickly changed into a pair of ratty pyjamas. I braided my long hair and walked back into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I could hear the kettle boiling already and I found Jasper sat at the small table, his phone in his hands.
"Want a cup?" He asked me without looking at me.
"Please. I sat in the other chair. "I am sorry. I wanted this more than anything, you know that, but I can't be 'the other woman'."
"I understand, I do. I should never have put you in that position, so I should be the one apologising." I took his hand in my own.
"We just got carried away. No harm no foul." He stood up and placed a kiss on my forehead before moving around making the drinks.
"You're too good a woman to be single. Whoever you choose is going to be one lucky man. One that I will be very jealous of." He placed the cup in front of me.
"Jasper, if you're unhappy with the way things are in your life, you need to do something about it. You can't live like this." I knew he wasn't completely happy from speaking to him online, but it wasn't until I saw the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice that I realised exactly how unhappy he truly was.
"I've tried, so many times, but it's hard. Maybe I'm just scared to let go of a routine I'm comfortable in, but I also worry about letting people down."
"And in thinking like that, you are letting yourself down. You need to start considering that." I finished my drink and stood up. "I think I better get to bed." I wanted to tell him he could share with me, but I didn't want him thinking I was leading him on.
"Can I just hold you tonight?" I nodded and held out my hand.
Sunlight was pouring through a slit in the curtains as I stretched myself awake. I jumped at the sound of a chuckle from the doorway. I looked over to see Victoria leaning up against the door frame, two cups of tea in her hand.
"What?" I asked as I sat up.
"I found this in the kitchen." She handed me the cup and a piece of paper. Thanks for last night. You are wonderful. Jx. It was then I realised I was alone in bed. "Well...?" I swear blind she did an eyebrow wiggle as she came and sat on the bed with me.
"Well nothing. We talked is all."
"Yeah, cause that kiss spoke a thousand words."
"What kiss?" I will NOT blush!
"You, backed up against my fence, Jasper's groans... ring any bells?"
"Shut up. Anyway, where did you and Edward disappear to? Wanted to 'show him your etchings' did you?"
"Nope. I thoroughly fucked him senseless and I am not ashamed to admit it." Her grin was bright and infectious.
"Good for you. DO not tell me any details please." I mock shuddered.
"What? Can't I even tell you about me riding his face?"
"No, definitely not that." I groaned.
"So, why didn't you and Jasper do anything? I mean, the sexual chemistry between you two was strikingly obvious."
"Because he's married. Regardless of how unhappy that marriage is, I respect the vows he shared with her."
"But he slept in here with you last night didn't he?"
"Yeah... "I sighed at the thought of his arms around me. "But that's all we did."
"Well, I applaud your restraint, but I also think you're crazy for passing up the opportunity after all these years." She walked out of the room, a wiggle to her walk that only can be provided by multiple orgasms.
Throughout my train journey back home, all I could think about was Jasper and the sound of his voice when he asked if he could hold me. It made me realise that I was no longer attracted to him because of our past and the 'unfinished business' but I was attracted to him for him. Turning him down was the hardest thing I had ever done, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
ShortnSassy Thank you... I know what I need to do. A tweet from Jasper.
JazzGooner Welcome. Make the right choice for you. Be sure
ShortnSassy I have never been surer in my life...