WAHHHHHHHHHHH I'm gonna cry- I can't believe this story is over. About the three-week waiting period… all I can say is I'm sorry, but during the school year, don't expect me to be a whole lot faster than that. I was partying all last weekend for my birthday, so, uhm… Thanks to Pigfarts-It's on Mars and everyone for being so sweet and lovely and reviewing!
As one would expect, there was great rejoicing. The teachers danced with lampshades on their heads, Peeves threw popcorn bits at everyone, and the portraits got drunk as Mundungus Fletcher. Draco had slunk off the common room in embarrassment after being filled in on what had happened during that strange period of time that he just couldn't seem to remember. Trixie was rather enjoying herself (though everyone made sure to keep her far away from the butterbeer), what with all the house-elves hopped up on fruit punch, when Harry marched through the sea of students and Chocolate Frog wrappers and pulled her away from a very intense dance to the Gummy Bear song.
He grabbed her by the sleeve and dragged her to a quieter corner of the Great Hall, much despite her protesting. The weird techno music continued to blare in the background as he addressed her.
"Look, Trixie, I know you like it here and all, but aren't you… well, don't you need to be getting home?"
Her face drooped. "Aw, couldn't I at least stay for the rest of the party? It's awesome!" Awesome it was; Trixie looked almost unrecognizable, with her hair frizzed up like brown static, frosting and cotton candy smeared around her mouth, and bits of glitter stuck to her jeans. Her appearance was almost comical, but it suited her.
"Well, wouldn't you think everyone would be wondering where you've been these last two weeks? I mean, you've spent enough time here already…"
"Oh, I get it!" she screeched. Maybe they hadn't done such a good job in retaining the butterbeer. "You don't want me! Oh, no one wants old Trixie around! No, they keep me around until I've killed a bloody Mary Sue for you, then it's bye-bye me! Go on and party all week for all I care! I don't even want to be here anymore. So there!"
Harry returned her statements with a blank stare until she grinned. "I'm just fooling with you, of course I'll leave. You didn't think I'd really use the word bloody in a sentence like that, did you?"
Harry shook his head, confused yet somewhat amused. "Anyway, thanks for all your help, getting rid of Aria. We couldn't have done it without you, with all your plans, and bravery, and quick thinking…"
"Alright, bye!" Trixie exclaimed cheerily, cutting him off from what looked suspiciously like a cliché end scene. "Tell Luna Lovegood I said hi."
She turned to leave and was just about to pass under the very doors Aria Snape herself had entered through what seemed like years ago when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning around, she came face to face with Harry once more. His green eyes met her brown ones, and among the herd of dancing, shrieking, spitting people, she wondered while he knew there was one last thing he had to say.
"Trixie…" he began, knowing it was the last time they would see each other. "Trixie…
"Do I still have to kiss that Snatcher chick?"
Trixie grinned devilishly. "I guess you'll have to see… IN SEVENTH YEAR!" She spun around and dashed out of Hogwarts, laughing maniacally all the way out.
"Oh, you… you bastard!" He knew she had heard him, but she was already too far away to say anything in reply.
The fanfiction author leaned back in her chair, satisfied with the idea. Of course it wouldn't work; there were already countless people who tried, and tried, and tried again. No one had really succeeded so far; what made her think she could make any sort of difference whatsoever?
She knew it couldn't do much good. Mary Sues would always be out there, feasting upon the personalities of characters, growing more beautiful and more obnoxious every day. There would always be inexperienced authors, rushing too fast into writing before actually observing what to do and what not to do. And they would never stop criticizing the helpful people who tried to kindly tell them what they were doing wrong before they got flamed. It was how the world works and will always keep on working.
But that wasn't the point. That wasn't why Trixie and the thousands others put their lives, reputations, and sanity at stake for. It was for the sake of those poor, clueless souls that were uneducated in the evils of Mary Sues. It was so they all could know and learn how to avoid them and their craftiness. The noobs could only improve if they were taught. Who was going to teach them? That was why they all did what they did. It was an act of charity, really; a favor given long ago and eventually returned to another author as acts of compassion. Trixie had been in that place once and was smart enough to rise out of it. She just needed to make sure that as many other people as possible were fortunate to do so themselves.
With confidence, she opened Word on her family's desktop computer and started typing.
The words were short and simple, yet clever enough to get the point across. XxBelatrixLestrange917xX darted down the Hogwarts hallway. She slowed to a stop and leaned up against the cool stone wall, panting. This school was a lot bigger and more confusing than it had sounded when she read the books! Throughout the story, she poked fun at both bits of the Harry Potter books and elements of fanfiction literature, hoping the readers would enjoy. She was genuinely excited to write this story and looking forward to the reaction of reviewers. It was an easy write that could both give people a laugh and warm her up for more serious work later.
The finished product was something that pleased her greatly. She logged into her account of and, without hesitating, clicked "New Story". This was guaranteed to get a tidy sum of reviews and teach many about dangers and trials of writing fanfiction. It would be genius! After hitting "Publish", she grinned, logged off, and strode off to do her chores. This was the dawn of a new age for XxBellatrixLestrange917xX; one holding promise, opportunity, and most of all, fun.
And, hopefully, endings not nearly as cheesy at this one.
HA. HA. HA I bet you thought Harry and Trixie were gonna kiss or something! Ha ha, nope! There's absolutely nothing going on between them (us?), it was just a funny little idea I had and decided to try. I love fooling people. Anyway, thank you all for your lovely comments and follows. One Really Messed Up AU will be out… sometime. Maybe after or maybe before I write that Founders fic I've been not talking about. I love you all, and I'll miss you guys and this story! Thanks again!