Anime: Axis Powers Hetalia
Rating
: T
Warnings
: Cliché overused sex jokes.
Pairings
: None
Disclaimer
: Me no own the hetalia of the axis of the powers.
Notes
: I wanna go to Hamburg D8


Next stop: Hamburg, Germany.

"'Cuz it sounds like hamburger!" declared America, taking his first steps onto Hamburg, Germany off England's plane. "Hamburg! Now I bet they got hamburgers here! I'll sue for false advertising if they don't!" England followed America off the plane and unenthusiastically asked America what they would be doing here.

"I dunno! You think I have things planned and organized? Silly Brit! Just go with the flow!" And with that, they decided to walk around the busy streets of Hamburg and enjoy Europe further.

"Wow!" exclaimed America, looking around, "I can't understand a thing anyone's saying! But they all sound very serious and angry!" he further observed.

"You twit. And speaking of serious men, here comes Germany himself—coincidence, isn't it?" discerned England from across the street.

"By Golly it is!" said America. England raised a thick eyebrow.

'By Golly'?

As Germany was crossing the street, he noticed the duo and walked over to them.

"Surprised to see you two here." He admitted, hands in his cloak pockets. "That aside, welcome to Deutschland."

"Yea, so where are the hamburgers? I'm starving. All I ate last night were nasty fish and chips." Asked America. Germany smiled.

"Oh, there's hamburgers… in fact, Hamburg is said to be one of the origins of hamburgers." Informed Germany.

"No kidding? That's awesome!" exclaimed America.

"No, THIS is awesome!" shouted a slightly familiar yet at the same time not exactly ringing-a-bell voice. A grey haired man shot up from the bushes and landed next to the pair. "Silly American! What brings you to Northern Germany? What, ya don't like East Germany? Is East Germany not worth ya time?"

American tried to calm down the hyper Prussian. "N-No, it's not that. I'm just trying to visit as many countries as I can within the month. I'm trying to, how do they say it—emerge myself into different cultures."

"Then why don't you emerge yourself in some fine German food as part of your stay here? Mi Deutschland es tu Deutschland!"

"That sounds wonderbra!" said America, pumping a fist.

"…what?" croaked Prussia.

"Wonderbra! Wonderful? Right? In German?"

"You mean wunderbar."

"You got wonder-bars too? Sounds like an awesome bar!"

"Sure. Sure."


America was intently observing the roasting of bratwurst on a vendor's grill at a popular plaza. "It's so big!"

England smirked. "That's what she said." America was always the easiest to get a sex joke out of.

"I mean, look at how thick that is!"

"That's what she said." England repeated.

"I don't think that thing can fit inside me!"

"…That's also what she said."

"I doubt I'll be able to even stick it in my mouth!"

"…That's what—"

"So plump!"

"She—"

America purchased a bratwurst and began playfully waving it in his hand. "Yea! Wurst! Woo!"

"…said?"

"I like em' thick 'n' juicy!"

"It's not fun when you're doing it on purpose."

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" yelled America, slapping England across the face with a hot juicy wurst, leaving a glob of grease on his cheek. England wiped the grease off with his sleeve, not angry because the American beat him at his own game, but because he just got slapped with what looks like a roasted ding-a-ling.

"You bloody—

"America, England!" called their German friend approaching them from a couple feet away, "How are you liking Hamburg so far?"

"So far, it's been great!" expressed America, still holding the wurst, "I'm really diggin' the food. Everything's so big here!"

Suppressing the urge to crack a "that's what she said" joke (aren't those popular today?), Germany laughed and said "I'm glad you're enjoying it." He noticed the large wurst in America's hand and further said, "Oh, do you like our bratwurst?"

"Yea, I'm keepin' this one as a souvenir!" responded America, "Biggest damn wiener I've ever seen."

England opened his mouth to reclaim himself as the "that's what she said" king when he was yet again interrupted and slapped by the roasted wiener, this time perhaps on purpose.

"Hey what's over there?" inquired America, suddenly pointing over yonder with the hand that was grasping the wurst, hilariously slapping England in the face yet again.

"I'll show you. Follow me." Instructed Germany. America turned around to face England and ended up whacking him in the face with the oversized wurst once more for good ole time's sake in the process.

"C'mon, let's follow Germany!" nagged America, "And wipe your face! It looks disgusting." England furiously wiped his face off again with his sleeve and followed that damned America and his German friend, not knowing if he could handle the rest of the month with this guy.

But who cares? Next Stop: Moscow, Russia.