Well guys, I'm back. It was a long 4 years, but I finally completed college. YAY ME! I am currently unemployed so I've done quite a bit of writing. YAY ECONOMY! This is my masterpiece. I thought of it and put it on paper maybe 4 years ago and since then it has changed quite a bit. It has grown, developed, and matured the same way I have. I really hope you like it, but it is NOT for the faint hearted. Like Degrassi I went there, and it was a tough story to write emotionally, and it is probably a tough one to read emotionally. So if you cannot handle it please navigate away from the page. No immature bashing reviews when things are not going your way. To all my newcomers, Welcome! If you have not read the prequels Another Chance and Genesis, please do so now, or you may be confused, if you don't want to Ok. That is your choice. To those of you that have been with me since How it All Came to Be… I. Love. You. You know I love my readers and I would never let them down. So let the show begin!
"Daddy!" Kayla squealed as she ran through the bullpen, barreling towards her father.
He turned towards his daughter just in time to scoop her up into his lap. "Hey, Junebug! Where's your mommy?"
"I dounno," she answered, staring up at him with big blue eyes.
Elliot heard the clicking of his wife's boots and turned to watch her stroll in. He grinned. "She get away from you again?"
Olivia rolled her eyes, "No. I told her to go ahead, while I said hi to Belaski." When he eyed her skeptically she continued. "I saw her run and jump into your lap," she continued as she eyed her old desk with a small tinge of nostalgia. She had transferred to CPU Crimes after their wedding. She wanted better hours so that she could be home with their daughter, and while she missed working beside her husband, she didn't regret her decision for a moment. She loved all the time she got to spend with their daughter and wouldn't trade it in for the world.
"That's circumstantial. She always does that when she comes here."
"Well Detective, you don't have any proof otherwise," she grinned and leaned over to kiss him.
"Easy with the PDA, this is supposed to be a place of business," Fin grumbled as he walked into the squad room.
"Pishy Pin!" Kayla exclaimed.
"Home slice!" Fin called back. He reached out for her and grinned when she slid off her father's lap and went to him.
Her parents watched on in amusement. Every time their 21 month old pint-sized detective came to the squad room the hard-ass known as First Grade Detective Odafin Tutuola turned into a pile of mush and became known as Pishy Pin.
Olivia turned to her husband and used the small amount of time to speak quietly with him. She took his hand and lead him up to the crib. He was on her as soon as the door closed behind them.
"Are you coming home tonight?" she asked him between kisses.
"That's the plan," he said, pulling her closer.
She pulled away from him and looked him in the eye. "I'm serious Elliot. I miss you. We miss you. You haven't put Kayla to bed in a week."
He sighed. "I know Liv, but this thing with Dickie- I mean Dick. And work…"
"Elliot, he's rebelling and acting out. You ne-"
"Liv, please. Not now. Not here."
She nodded. "Well I'm going to go. It's almost dinner time, and you know how she gets when she's hungry."
She moved passed him and was about to open the door when he gripped her waist and pulled her back to him. "I'm sorry. I'll try to make it to dinner, ok?"
"Ok," she whispered. She kissed the corner of his mouth and headed down into the bullpen.
She found Kayla nestled on Cragen's hip, a red vine between her lips. Olivia reached for her and Kayla went willingly into her mother's arms.
"I'm going to stop bringing my kid here. You guys always pump her with sugar so that she'll have enough energy to drive me crazy."
"Hey, what else is family for? None of us have anyone else to spoil so what do you expect?" Munch asked.
"For you guys to not give my 1yr old candy. I'll see you guys later."
"Come by more often. And bring the rugrat with ya." Cragen called to her retreating form.
Elliot walked into their dimly lit Manhattan home. All lights had been turned off except for the kitchen light. He sighed. He'd missed bedtime again. He always did it with all the voices and excitement. It was the highlight of their day. And he'd missed it. Again.
He removed his shoes and headed for the kitchen. The pizza box was still out and the pepperoni section of the pizza had been left for him, along with a couple slices of Kayla's cheese. It was the only kind she would eat, so they had begun sectioning their pizza. 1/3 cheese, 1/3 meatball, and 1/3 pepperoni for him.
He quickly inhaled his slices and went upstairs. He checked in on his youngest before heading to the master bedroom to sleep beside his wife. He was surprised to see that while the room was dark the bed was unoccupied. He noticed the soft glow coming from their bathroom and headed towards it.
He found Olivia soaking in a bubble bath with vanilla candles surrounding her. She took a sip of her white wine and looked up at him. "You're home early," she dead panned.
He took the glass from her finger tips and finished her wine. He then began removing his clothes. "I'm sorry. I was on my way home when I got a call from Kathy. Dick got kicked off the baseball team for missing practices."
He climbed over the side of the tub and sat between her legs, leaning back and resting against her chest. "I really don't know what to do with him. It's like he doesn't even care!" She took her loofa and dipped it into the soapy water and rubbed it over his chest, gently washing him. "All he cares about is hanging out with his friends. I go over there. I yell. He's technically grounded till September. I've taken away his PSP, his TV, and his X-box, and nothing. He still doesn't come home. He still doesn't do his homework. He still mouths off at his teachers. I'm really at a loss. I don't know what to do." She didn't say anything. "You've been awfully quiet. Aren't you going to say anything?"
"Last time I checked you didn't want to hear what I had to say."
"Liv," he growled out in frustration. "Fine. Olivia, what do you think?"
"He's looking for attention. You barely see him. You never go to his games."
"Oh, so now I'm a bad father? I have to work! I have to pay child support. Pay the bills and the mortgage for this house."
"Elliot, you can change departments. Get into something with more flexible hours, and I'm the one paying the mortgage you're paying the utilities."
"Like you did? And does it really matter who's paying what?" His words reeked of sarcasm.
"You started it. Look Elliot. I wasn't thrilled about going to computer crimes, but it was a decision I made for our family. Something you may want to think about. I know SVU has been all you've known for the past..." She mentally did the math. "15 years. But you need to spend more time with your kids."
"I said I was sor-"
"Kayla isn't your only child. You have four more that need your time and attention. Which is why Dick is acting out. Every time he acts out, you come running"
"All I do is yell at him and punish him, Liv. That can't be the reason."
"Negative attention is attention, El."
"Olivia. I think I know my kids a little bit better than you do. And I've been at this a lot longer than you have. No kid wants to be yelled at or punished."
She shoved him forward and stood. She stepped out of the tub and reached for a towel when she felt herself being pulled backwards. They landed with a splash in the tub of water.
He held her in his arms and she struggled against him, "Let go of me," she growled.
He squeezed her a bit. "I'm sorry, Liv. I shouldn't have said that. I'm just so frustrated with this whole situation." She still didn't say anything. "Liv, talk to me," he requested quietly. He rested his forehead against her back.
"I just…When am I ever going to be good enough for you?" She couldn't hide the hitch or the emotion in her voice.
"What? Turn around."
She did as he requested, but avoided his eyes. He didn't have to see them to know there were tears in them.
"At first I wasn't a mother. Now I am and to your child and its still not good enough. Because I'm not the mother of your other four children and I haven't been a mother long enough. I haven't been a wife long enough. When will it be enough? When will I finally be good enough for you to accept me as your wife?" She looked at him then and all he wanted to do was get lost in her eyes. Although red and rimmed with tears, the hazel in her eyes was highlighted by the soft glow of the candles.
"You are good enough. You were more than good enough when we stood in front of our family and friends and I took vows and I slid my grandmother's ring on your finger. Olivia, I love you, and believe me if you weren't good enough, we wouldn't be here right now."
"Then why do yo-?"
"Because I'm an ass," he cut her off. "I'm sorry I should have never said that."
She nodded. "Let's just go to bed. It's late."
He grinned at her. "I thought you said you missed me?" He nibbled on her neck.
"Elliot." It began as a protest, but it ended as a moan.
"It's been about a week right? Longest we've ever gone without…"
Her lips came over his and the conversation was over. She turned and straddled him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulled herself as close to him as she could physically get. She spread her legs further and he slid into her. He moved inside her drawing out her moans and grunting his own pleasure in return. She shattered around him and he followed close behind her.
"I don't think I'll ever get tired of that," she panted into his neck. He grunted in response. "Let's wash up and go to bed."
They stood and showered together. Taking time out to wash the other intimately and thoroughly. Elliot stepped out of the shower first and towel off while Olivia rinsed the rest of conditioner out her hair. She stepped out to find her husband with a towel wrapped around his waist and holding one out for her. She stepped into his arms and he wrapped the towel around her just as she circled her arms around his neck and kissed him lovingly.
They maneuvered their way into their bedroom and just when the towels were about to hit the floor a small cry came over the baby monitor.
And just like that, the moment was over. "Duty calls," she kissed the corner of his mouth and grabbed a robe as she headed down the hall. She peaked into the room to find her daughter rubbing her eyes. She reached for her mother as soon as she saw her. Olivia headed right over to her and lifted her from her crib.
"What's the matter, Junebug?" Olivia asked of her daughter. Her response was a whine as she buried her face into her mother's neck.
"Binky," she wined just as her father appeared in the doorway.
"Hey what's going on?" he asked now dressed in a pair of his boxers.
"Nothing. I think she's having a hard time sleeping. Can you grab her binky downstairs? I just sterilized it. It should be in the drying rack."
Elliot left to complete his task and returned seconds later with the binky in hand. He reached for his baby girl and she went willingly into his arms. Olivia headed back to the bedroom to put on some clothes, but stopped momentarily at the doorway to watch them. They were incredibly close, and at times she'd wonder if they loved each other more than they loved her, but then she'd catch Elliot starring at her when he thought she wasn't looking. She'd see the twinkle in her daughter's eye in when she went to pick her up from daycare and she'd know that she was loved beyond all means, and that was good enough for her.
Olivia slipped into a pair of panties and one of her husband's dress shirts. Elliot came in moments later. Kayla secured in her father's arms.
"We had a little discussion and decided that it was best if she slept here tonight."
"Uh huh," Olivia responded. She already knew that this was code for "I'm too tired to sit in the chair to wait for her to fall asleep."
They all settled into the large king sized bed. Olivia on the right. Elliot on the left, and Kayla in between them. Kayla and Elliot fell asleep almost immediately and Olivia took this time to gaze at her family. Something she thought she'd never have, and now here they were. Laying right beside her. Her husband, and her daughter. They both loved her immensely and she loved them just as much. Maybe even more so. She fell asleep dwelling on that thought and enjoyed her sweet dreams for one more night.
A big thank you for reading. Don't forget to REVIEW, I live for them.