Author's Note: Hey guys! Some of you may be happy to know that I'm starting this. It's going to be a multi-chapter Carlos angst. And let me just say, that Carlos angst is so painful to write. The little cutie is just so sweet and innocent, ya know? Well, anyway, I need you guys' help. I'm not sure if this should be Cargan or friendship. So, after you read this, please go to my profile and vote on the poll I'm putting up. It'll be extremely helpful. Also, I'm just going to say this now: this is the angstiest thing I've ever written up to this point. And if you've read "Past Demons" or "Silent Scream", you know this is going to be really angsty. But still, enjoy!
Warnings: extreme angst, non-consensual sex, language
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or Skittles :)
"Rock! Paper! Scissors! Shoot!"
There was a moment of silence as the four boys looked down at their hands. James, Logan, and Kendall cheered as they pumped their victorious "rocks" in the air. Carlos scowled furiously at them. His gaze switched between his three laughing friends to his outstretched index and middle fingers. The one time he didn't choose paper! The one time!
"Whatever," Carlos mumbled under his breath. He was met with three sets of teasing grins in return.
"Aw, don't worry Carlitos. It's not that dark out," James said.
"Yea, I'm sure the big, bad monsters won't eat you if you run fast," Kendall added with a laugh.
Carlos looked between the two as his face began to burn. He looked to Logan expectantly. The brunet only smiled warmly and shrugged. The Latino sighed and reluctantly stood up from his seat on the couch.
"Fine. I'll be back in twenty minutes."
The short man turned away from his friends and began walking away. He still bore the scowl on his face as he passed the hook with the keys, and grabbed his own. Without another look back, he slammed the door shut and quickly locked before continuing to walk speedily to the elevator. The hall was quiet and vacant. As soon as the elevator doors were open, Carlos jumped in and began repeatedly pressing the button to reach the lobby.
The lobby was dark. Mr. Bitters didn't like to waste any electricity if he thought no one was going to be passing by the lobby. That and he said the light kept him awake while he slept. Carlos pulled his phone out of his pocket and pressed a random button. Just as he wanted, the light from the small device illuminated the area in front of him. His eyes shifted from side to side nervously as he cautiously made his way to the entrance of the hotel. He took a deep breath and pushed his phone deep into his pocket.
"All of this just to get some stupid Skittles…," he whined before pushing the doors open and walking out of the safety of the PalmWoods and into the cold, crisp darkness of the night.
"Aqui estas joven,"(1) the middle-aged man spoke as he handed Carlos the bag of Skittles placed inside a plastic shopping bag along with his change. He smiled widely as he took the bag and money from the cashier.
"Gracias. Que tengas una buena noche,"(2) Carlos replied as he started to walk off. He exited the small store and looked around. There was no one in sight. The only cars present belonged to the employees working the night shift. The Latino was contemplating calling Logan to come pick him up, but he quickly banished the idea. Kendall and James already made fun of his fear of being out at night. He didn't need to give them anymore reason to tease him.
The contact between the pavement and Carlos' black converse was the only sound detectable. The Hispanic couldn't help the way he was slightly shaking as he trudged on. His heart was beating rapidly as if desperately trying to escape his chest. He attempted to calm himself with deep, relaxing breaths.
'Calm down Carlos. There's nothing to worry about. Home is just a short walk away. Soon you'll be sitting safe on the couch eating some Skittles with Logie and the others.'
The promised security of something so familiar to him was able to calm him down for the moment being. By now, every step was a difficult task for him. He spared a glance backwards. Nothing. He sighed in satisfaction. He was getting all worked up over nothing. Maybe after this, he'll be gone of his childish phobia. All he needed to do was…relax.
"Okay, Carlos. Just…relax," he spoke to himself. "Maybe if I sing something to distract myself…"
The tan teen bit his the inside of his cheek in thought. He remained quiet for a moment before thinking of a song that was fun to sing, and would distract keep his mind off of his current setting. He cleared his throat loudly, preparing himself to sing.
"You think I'm pretty without any make-up on
You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong
I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down."
At first, his voice was shaky and unsure. The lyrics disappeared into the vast emptiness without much of chance. But as the song progressed, Carlos couldn't help but notice the way the corners of his mouth started to slightly rise. He could feel his shoulder dropping little by little.
"Before you met me, I was alright
But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life
Now every February you'll be my Valentine, Valentine."
The Latino was practically belting out the words to the song at the top of his lungs now. He had completely forgotten about his surroundings, what time it was, or the fact that he was by himself. His mind was solely on the song he was singing as he walked with a noticeable spring in his step. The laughter was clearly evident in his voice.
"Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I, we'll be young forev-aah!"
Carlos squealed in surprise as an arm wrapped around his waist from behind and pulled him into a broad chest. He struggled against the hold frantically while his heart pounded violently in his chest.
"L-let g-go. Let go! Let g-"
"Shut the fuck up," a low voice whispered into Carlos' ear. The Latino leaned his head forward and lunged it back, forcing the back of his head to make painful contact with the captor's nose. The grip around Carlos' waist loosened momentarily, and he took the chance to push the man off of him and sprint away, the plastic bag with the Skittles left forgotten on the world.
"Help! Help! Hel-"
The short teen only made it a few step before he was tackled down from behind. He grunted as his shoulder hit the dirty ground. He was turned over on his back and the man straddled his waist. Tears were now beginning to flow freely from his soft brown eyes as he finally got a good look at the man's face. He looked to be in his early twenties, and he had long blond hair that fell down his face as he stared down at Carlos with furious dark blue eyes and a masochistic smirk. The man licked his lips slowly as his eyes trailed down Carlos' clothed torso. He covered the Latino's mouth and leaned forward so that they were face to face.
"I'm going to have a lot of fun with you…," he breathed.
Carlos' eyes went wide in realization and he shook his head fervently. His muffled whimpers went uncared for as the man got off of him and pulled the teen up to his feet. With his hand still keeping the Latino from talking, he practically dragged the shorter with him as he walked behind a small, closed clothing store. The flat grassy area was secluded and dark. Neither of the two could see more than a foot in front of them.
"Perfect. No distractions…," the man laughed as he pushed Carlos down to the floor.
"Guys, this is too weird. Carlos should have been back twenty minutes ago," Logan said as he paced back and forth in front of his friends sitting on the couch. James and Kendall's eyebrows furrowed. They were starting to get worried too. It was already midnight, and they still hadn't heard from the Latino. He didn't even answer any of their calls.
"Well maybe he just got distracted on the way and decided to run around the park."
Logan shook his head dismissively as he continued to trudge his feet over the carpet.
"No, no. It's the middle of the night."
"Yea, but since when does Carlos make any sense?"
This time, the brunet stopped his movements and quickly walked over to James. He leaned down and glared at the taller's hazel eyes.
"Stop making stuff up. You know just as well as I do that Carlos is afraid of being out alone at night," Logan forced before standing up straight and running a shaky hand through his hair. "Oh my god. Why did we send him out by himself? Why didn't I just give him a ride?"
Kendall shot up from his seat concernedly as he hugged Logan weakly.
"Logan! Calm down. I'm sure he's just fine. We're in L.A. For all we know he might just be late 'cause there was a huge line or something. Besides, Carlos can take care of himself."
The genius sighed and nodded as he released Kendall. He looked up and gave the blond a thankful smile.
"You're right. He'll probably get here any minute, right? And maybe his phone just ran out of charge or something."
'Yea," Kendall replied with a small smile.
James looked down at his lap with a frown. He didn't want to bring up the fact that Carlos had been charging his phone for two hours before he left the apartment.
Wispy, dark clouds were quickly making their way across the vast expanse of sky. The moon was virtually nonexistent, leaving the usually bright and rambunctious city in a dark and silent mood. Strong winds swept through the empty streets.
Crickets. That's all he could hear. Their incessant chirping was drilling a hole in his brain, but the annoying sound was strangely comforting. It kept his mind from wandering t what just happened. It kept him from thinking too much. Carlos was still unaware of where exactly he was. He could see nothing through the thick haze around him. He was cold and wet. He could feel the prickly, moist grass under his bare legs. It was an uncomfortable feeling, but he couldn't force himself to move. All he could do was just lie there. Spread eagle on the floor. Just how he was left. He couldn't even find the energy to cry anymore. His tears had long dried out. At first they were tears of fear. Then they had become tears of pain. But now they were gone. There was no point in crying anymore. It wouldn't change anything.
Carlos was distracted from his thoughts as a flash of lightning momentarily illuminated the sky. Through that one second, he was able to see his pants laying a few feet to his left. Yet, he didn't make a move to get it. It still hurt. He knew it would hurt more once he finally did move.
A loud roar of thunder echoed in the air. The Hispanic didn't even flinch. Not a chance. Then, out of nowhere, a barrage of water droplets dropped down from above. The cold needles of water pricked at Carlos' body. He bit his lip softly as the sharp touch made contact with his member. He couldn't help it. Without thinking, he shifted an inch. He soon regretted it as a charge of white, hot pain coursed through his bottom.
"Aaah!" he screamed in utter anguish. And just like that, the tears were back and flowing like never before. His head was swinging from side to side as his loud wails sounded over the noise of the rain meeting the ground. Everything that had happened was just beginning to sink in. How could he let this happen? Why wasn't he able to get away? Who was that man, and why did he do it? Yet, even with all these questions accumulating his thoughts, the Latino couldn't get past the awkwardness the cold rain was causing him. His shirt was sticking to his chest like a second skin, and he could feel a large puddle of thick mud forming around his body. This couldn't be healthy. He knew he didn't have much of a choice if he didn't want to risk getting an infection.
That thought was motivation enough for the sixteen year old. He steeled his nerves for what he knew was coming. He placed his palms down flat on the ground and slowly pushed himself up. His usually strong arms shook under the small weight of his upper body, and he was barely able to keep himself from falling back down. Once his full weight was on his unclothed bottom, a new set of whimpers escaped him. He swallowed them down as best he could as he rocked from side to side. Once he gained enough momentum, he allowed his body to turn completely so that he was now on his hands and knees. He froze for a second to catch his breath. The simple task of standing up had proved itself to be harder than he thought it would be, but he couldn't stay in this position for ever. Before standing up fully, he blindly patted the muddy ground until he came in contact with the rough fabric of his torn jeans. He fisted them tightly in his hand before pulling himself up to his feet. He was able to slowly pull his pants up to his waist without causing much pain. He didn't even bother to look for his underwear.
Another spark of light cleared the night. This time, Carlos was able to memorize every step needed to arrive back to the street he was on earlier. Regardless, every step was forced and heavy. His shoes made small splashes as he walked past every puddle until he reached the concrete sidewalk. He stopped and looked around. The streetlamps were enough to illuminate the dark, empty streets, and that small comfort brought a sad smile to Carlos' face. He heard a quiet rustle to his right and snapped his head in that direction. There on the floor he saw the forgotten bag of fruity candy rustling in the wind. His face deadpanned. He showed no emotion at all as he slowly walked over to the bag and looked down at it. Not caring about the pain anymore, he bent down and picked up the bag. The Latino turned and made his way back home, choosing to ignore reality for the moment being.
Wow…I'm not going to lie…I've read stuff way more graphic than this, but this is definitely the most graphic I've ever gotten (not including my smut). It was so sad that hurting Carlos like that brought me such satisfaction. I'm sick, I really am, lol. But I hope you guys liked it. I'll try to have the second chapter up soon, but remember to vote on my poll. It's very important. Also, I know some of you already know this and are probably annoyed I keep bringing it up, but if you want to know more about when and what I update, you can follow me on Twitter: Gohanrules1. Well, that's it. Please Review and vote :)