Ten Reasons Why Paul is Grumpy

I came up with this fic after reading chapter three of Just to Complicate the Matter by Cool Cat Productions. Kudos to you :) But the chapter got me thinking about Paul's background and why he's such a mean person. And here's what I came up with. It's a little stupid and a little weird but it was something that came to me.

Synopsis: Ash throws a party at his house but one of his guests is being unsociable. Why is Paul such an unsociable jerk? There are some theories.


It started at the birthday party of Ash Ketchum as a bit of fun but fast became a phenomenon amongst his closest friends. The night had gone smoothly when all said and done but there was one person that had all the guests talking. Needless to say, Ash wasn't surprised when people asked about his Sinnoh rival.

Paul was the person who didn't get along with anyone. Naturally, that made every girl like him which annoyed the hell out the guys and Paul. His usually scowling face didn't scare off the numerous girls who tried to make small talk with him. It made Ash laugh until Misty went to talk to the anti-social purple haired teen. Misty actually got a conversation from Paul about the Cerulean Gym which made Ash fume that little bit more.

About half way through the night, after every girl (save one) had tried and failed to chat Paul up, the guys and girls went into their separate rooms to talk about gender stuff. Paul went outside for a bit of fresh air. The guys were stood in the living room chatting away about their Pokémon and stuff. Barry was making up some tall tales on seeing rare Pokémon in Kanto while Kenny just shook his head. Drew was talking to Ash and Gary about some Pokémon in a contest while Brock and Cilan were exchanging cooking tips with each other.

Of course that's when it all started.

"Say, Ash," Cilan asked his friend, "Why is Paul so anti-social?"

"Yeah," Drew snapped, "Why does he have that cold attitude and that stupid scowl?"

"Has he always been a jerk?" Gary snapped. Ash looked at Brock for back up but the Pewter breeder didn't have an answer either.

"Well, I'm not sure," Ash replied honestly, "He's just Paul. You have to accept him for who he is."

"Which is a jerk," Drew said. May walked into the room with Dawn, Misty, Zoey and Iris behind her. The girls were talking about something but fell silent as they realised the guys were watching them.

"What's going on?" May asked as she skipped towards Drew and Brock.

"We're thinking why Paul is a jerk," Drew replied, closing his eyes and going into a thinking pose. May eyed her friend carefully as he remained quiet and thoughtful. Zoey was the first to step forwards with an explanation.

"He's just a jerk," Zoey snapped, "He was probably born and raised a jerk by his own jerk father. You know what they say: like father, like son."

"No way," Ash said, "Because Reggie is totally different to Paul and they're brothers!"

"Maybe Paul was dropped on his head when he was a baby," Gary suggested, "And he hit his head which caused the nice bit in his brain to stop working."

"You think so?" Ash asked.

"Really," Dawn muttered, "Nice part of his brain? I thought you were a scientist, Gary."

"Oh no, you have it all wrong," Drew said, standing up straight, "I know exactly why he is a jerk. It's obvious. He had a very bad, traumatic experience in his childhood that has left him scarred for the rest of his life."

"That makes sense. He did watch his brother get beaten by Brandon which led to Reggie quit battling," Brock agreed with a nod.

"Like that would happen," May chipped in, "He's probably just misunderstood by everyone. He's really a kind hearted person who cares for every living thing but he doesn't know how to connect to people because no one taught him to when he was small. Now everyone judges him because of that."

"No way!" Barry yelled, "Paul is the greatest trainer on the planet! He probably asks like a jerk because he wants to look as cool as he is!"

There was a buzz of silence for a few seconds as everyone stared blankly at Barry. Finally Zoey looked across at Cilan.

"Aren't you a Pokémon Connoisseur, Cilan?" she asked the green haired waiter, "What do you read from him?"

"He has a very sour flavour with a dark aroma," Cilan replied, "Which indicates that his behaviour is caused by his diet."

"His diet?" Ash asked.

"Yes," Cilan nodded, "If people eat a lot of sour food then they become sour as a person. Earlier I saw him eating breadsticks with soured cream which means that my theory is correct."

"No way!" the group yelled. Iris pointed to her chest in triumph.

"You are all a bunch of kids," she said, "I know why Paul is a jerk. He's been possessed by an evil spirit which is making him act all mean because it wants revenge."

"I don't think that's true, Iris," Brock said, sweat-dropping, "There's no way an evil spirit could possess someone for that long."

"I suppose you're right," Iris agreed.

"Well I think it's because he's never had any friends of his own," Kenny said, "Because he's never had any friends he's become resentful to everyone who does have friends. That's why he's such a jerk around people because he's jealous of them."

"That makes sense," May agreed with a few nods. Misty stomped forwards.

"No way," Misty said, "I know why Paul is such a jerk. You said he had a brother. Is he an older brother?"

"Erm… yeah," Ash replied, "But Mist, what's that got to do with anything?"

"I knew it," Misty said, "He's such a jerk because he'd been put down so many times by his older brother that he has had no other choice but to act the way he does. It's so hard being the youngest so Paul acts like a jerk because he's been oppressed by his older brother for so long."

"No way!" Ash yelled, "Reggie is the nicest guy you'll ever meet."

"I know how it feels," Misty argued back.

"No, it's definitely because of his diet," Cilan said.

"No, it's because he's cool!" Barry shouted.

Dawn sighed as she watched the argument brew. She carefully walked backwards until she turned and walked for the door. She went outside for some fresh air. She wasn't surprised to see Paul stood outside leaning on the wall beside the door with his arms cross. Dawn closed the door behind her and walked round Paul. She leant on the wall beside Paul, facing the garden like Paul was.

"Don't tell me you're bored," he said. Dawn smiled and shook her head.

"They're talking about you," Dawn told him, "Figuring out why you're such a big jerk."

Paul turned his head towards Dawn, frowning slightly.

"Do I need a reason?" he asked.

"Apparently," she replied, "They seem to think something caused your grumpiness a long time ago."

"I am who I am," Paul said, "Just like how Ash is Ash and you are you."

"I know," Dawn said. Paul smirked suddenly as if he was getting an idea of some sort. He glanced at Dawn and pulled out a Pokéball. Dawn's eyes widened in alarm as Paul did this. She made a grab for the Pokéball but Paul easily pulled it away from her grasp.

"What are you going to do?" she asked, eying the Pokéball wearily. Paul smirked as he released a Banette. Dawn shrank back slightly at the sight of the ghost Pokémon.

"Banette," Paul told the Pokémon. Banette turned its red eyes onto Paul, awaiting its command. "Go have some fun with the people inside."

"Ban, ban," Banette said happily before it phased through the floor. Paul turned to Dawn and smirked at her.

"So you're just going to stand out here all night?" Dawn asked.

"I'm fed up of those girls chatting me up," Paul replied, "I'm also deeply hurt that you didn't come to talk to me."

"Poor Paul, being ignored by mean Dawnie?" Dawn asked in a tone laced with mockery. Paul raised his eyebrows as Dawn smiled across at him.

There was a loud shriek from the house making Paul and Dawn turn their heads towards the door. Dawn laughed while Paul smirked. Obviously Banette was having the time of his life in the house, scaring the others senseless. Dawn blinked a few times after she stopped laughing. She turned her attention back to Paul.

"I get it now. You're not a jerk," she said, eyes narrowing, "You're just plain evil."

"I'm glad someone finally gets me," Paul replied. The two of them shared a quick laugh until there was a few loud screams from inside the house. When this happened, both of them were doubled over laughing.

I liked this on-shot. It's a nice little one which made me feel happy. So thanks for that Cool Cat Productions. I hope you enjoyed it too!