I hold no ownership over anything. That is all.

The new school year was well under way, and glee club was, of course, already full of scandals and drama and everything else. Nothing new. And as usual, Mike decided to keep well out of it, preferring to sit back and watch the craziness unfold. It allowed him more to think about Tina and new dance moves and his homework and Tina and I hope they stop yelling I want to dance and wow Tina looks really pretty today.

The monotony was broken a week or so into the school year when Kurt's boyfriend transferred from Dalton. Something about wanting to face his fears and live in the real world. Mike thought that was pretty cool. Blaine seemed like a sweet dude, and Kurt was happier than Mike's ever seen him. Finn was all grumpy because he thought Blaine would steal all the male solos. Didn't help that Rachel's eyes lit up as if all her dreams of a strong male lead came true, and Kurt looked torn between being smug about his talented boyfriend and glaring at Finn and Rachel respectively.

But what really caught Mike's attention was Blaine's audition. Sure, he sounded awesome, and he had a lot of energy, but there was one point when Blaine was really in to the song, and at a high point, he jumped right up onto the piano. How he did that with his tiny hobbit legs, Mike didn't know. He must be some kind of ninja hobbit.

From that moment on, Mike felt a strange kinship with Blaine. He imagined dancing with him and jumping on things together. Mike's always wanted a friend like that.

And then one day, Mike saw it.

It was the week of their annual duets competition, and Kurt and Blaine had just performed theirs. They sounded fantastic, and everyone was clapping and cheering, but what Mike cared more about happened after.

The two of them were all big smiles and laughter and happiness, and when Mike looked closely at Blaine's face, everything just made sense. Blaine was just beaming, and his eyes were so squinty, they barely looked open.

He really is a ninja hobbit! He has to be! Squinty eyes didn't automatically mean ninja of course, but he and Tina were the only ones who ever showed up to Asian Club meetings, and it's not really Asian Club when it's just the two of them. It's more like a date. In a classroom. And Asian movies playing on the projector. That part's not that bad, actually, because it gives them an excuse to make out for two hours, but it's not overly productive for Asian Club.

So Blaine needs to join! And so, Mike devised a plan.

He would talk to Blaine. He would just… talk to him.

That's really his whole plan. He didn't really have time to think about it much. Every time he had free time, Tina wanted to make out, and who was Mike to refuse her?

Luckily he didn't really need to think about it that much because the day after Blaine and Kurt's performance, the perfect opportunity fell right into Mike's lap.

The next day, Mike witnessed Blaine's first slushie to the face.

The last class of the day had let out, and Mike's US History classroom was right across from AP Calculus, which Blaine was exiting at the same time. As Blaine was heading towards his locker, Azimio was coming the opposite direction, slushie in hand and looking like he was on a mission from God. Before Mike could yell out a warning, Azimio threw the slushie in poor, unsuspecting Blaine's face, yelled, "Welcome to McKinley, fairy!" and went off on his merry way.

Mike waited for Kurt to come flying out of nowhere, ready to claw the eyes right out of Azimio's face, but when Kurt failed to materialize, Mike rushed into action.

Blaine was standing in the middle of the hallway, shivering and mouth open with shock, blue slushie dripping into his eyes. Mike couldn't help but feel really bad for him. What he really wanted to do was punch Azimio in the face, but he couldn't leave Blaine standing there. Forcing down his urge for revenge, Mike took a deep breath and stepped up to Blaine.

"First slushie, right?"

Blaine just blinked at him and nodded.

Mike shook his head sympathetically and said, "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up."

He grabbed Blaine' elbow and led him to the nearest bathroom.

Blaine seemed to find his voice on the way there, and once the door shut, Blaine said, "Kurt did warn me to bring a change of clothes. I've got extras in my bag."

He dropped his things on the floor, casting a distressed look at his ruined notebooks, before looking up at Mike with sad puppy eyes.

Mike smiled. "Well, you're already ahead of all of our first times. We had to walk around all day with sticky shirts. Count yourself lucky."

Blaine chuckled, and Mike felt a little proud of himself.

"Alright, just sit down in front of the sink here, and I'll try to get you a bit more presentable."

Blaine complied, and Mike, hands full of wet paper towels, poised for action, suddenly realized that the chance to question Blaine was right in front of him.

And so Mike, being the Master of Eloquence that he was, began his interrogation.

"So, uh, Blaine. You and Kurt. Sang that duet yesterday."

Blaine opened an eye and stared at Mike, who was in the middle of wiping his face clear of blue slushie.

"Yeah, we did."

Mike cleared his throat. "Well, um, it was really good. You guys sound really good."

Blaine smile and his eye squinted again, and dammit Mike get to the point.

"Oh, thanks, man!"

"Yeah, no problem."

And then there was silence. Blaine's eyes were closed again, and his head was resting on the edge of the sink as Mike continued his ministrations. He feverishly tried to think of how to ask Blaine his burning question, and in the process of doing so, he just blurted it out.

"Are you Asian?"

Well, that's one way to do it.

Blaine opened his eye again, but a trail of blue slushie was just falling from his hair at that exact moment, and he sort of spasmed and blinked rapidly to get rid of it.

"W-what? Am I what?" he sputtered.

"Asian! Are you Asian?" Mike exclaimed, hurriedly trying to get the rest of the slushie clear of Blaine's eyes. "'Cause, you know, you don't always look like it, but your eyes get really squinty sometimes, and I know that's not exclusively Asian, and you don't have to be Asian, it's cool if you're not, but I was just wondering because-"

"Mike! Yes, yes, I am Asian. Well, half. My mom's Filipino," Blaine laughed.

Mike paused with his towel-filled hand hovering over Blaine's face. "Oh!"

Blaine grinned.

Mike snapped to his senses and finished washing off the slushie.

"Well, you're all clear!"

"Oh, thanks! I'll just change and... yeah."

Blaine grabbed his bag and walked into a stall. A minute later, he walked back out and messed with his hair in the mirror.

"I forgot to pack gel," Blaine said, pouting at his reflection.

"I think it looks cool like that. It's all curly and stuff. You're like a hobbit. A ninja hobbit."

Blaine smiled at him again.

They left the bathroom and headed towards glee club.

"So anyway, uh... The reason I was asking earlier, you know, about your Asianness, is, I was wondering if you wanna join Asian Club? I mean, it's just me and Tina, but it could be fun! We could eat good food and watch things and… talk about stuff."

Blaine smiled his Squinty Asian Smile. "Sure, man! That sounds awesome!"

When they walked into glee, Blaine sat down by Kurt, and Mike sat by Tina, but they smiled at each other from across the room. Well, until Kurt asked Blaine why he smelled like blue raspberry, and then the story about Blaine's first slushie came out, and everyone in the club altenated between yelling and demanding retribution on Azimio or fussing over Blaine and making sure he was alright.

After rehearsal, Blaine caught up to Mike and thanked him again for his help, and Kurt gave Mike a genuinely grateful smile as he ran his fingers through Blaine's gel-free hair. Before leaving, Blaine asked when the next Asian Club meeting was and promised to attend. When Mike said that Tina might even let them sing and dance and jump on the classroom tables at the next meeting, Blaine responded with squinty, puppy-like enthusiasm.

Mike decided that he was really glad that Blaine decided to transfer. He's always wanted a friend. Having a ninja hobbit friend was even better.