Welcome back my kiddies! You voted! And in the one day it's been up, more than I think a little less than 99% of you said you wanted the sequel. SO HERE IT IS MY CHILI PEPPERS! (I think I might just call you all that from now on.)
Summary: Alfred pisses off Antonio causing him to fall into desperate measures. He must become…. El Bribón Lujurioso! And he has help! Along side Der Mann and Le Roi d'Amour (And a very unhappy Little Tomato), Antonio intends to end Alfred's life once and for all. But Alfred isn't alone. He is joined by his own Lois Lane, Arthur Kirkland, to end Antonio's reign of terror once and for all.
Howdy! This is the SUPER SHORT INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER! And it really gets things going. So enjoy, my little chili peppers!
And much like the last story, THIS IS ENDLESSLY NOT SERIOUS.
Warning: This story contains lots of strong language. Like FUCK and SHIT! It also has sex between two dudes in it. Also, it has the use of Google Translate for Spanish, French, and Italian. BEWARE.
Disclaimer: Is not mine.
"Yes…. I will accept the charges… Thank you." Lovino and Gilbert watched expectantly as Antonio placed his call. Though, Lovino's expectations were not too high. Knowing Antonio it was something lame. He was calling to get the new gardening thing he saw on T.V., he was calling a friend to say 'hi,' but making a huge deal of it.
"Hola! Mi amigo! Francis, how are you?" A wide smile broke onto Gilbert's face. Lovi was, once again, underwhelmed. "So, that whole Jack Union thing didn't exactly work out and… Yeah that would be no problem! Absolutely, my friend! How soon? Wonderful! I will see you then!" He hung up, overjoyed.
Gilbert rocked in his seat, "So, what is going on with Francis?" He asked.
The smile on Antonio's lips was far from sweet. It was devious, vengeful, angry, "Well, first I have to go speak to a certain Hungarian woman about a certain Englishman. Then Francis gets Arthur's old position and he can come and help us!" His smile was back to cheerful. Something about the change in moods… frightened Lovino.
Antonio picked up the phone again and dialed a number, "Hello, may I speak to Ms. Héderváry right away. It is very important… Thank you." He noticed the Italian's sour expression and blew a little kiss to him. He glared in response. "Yes! Hello! I am here to conduct a survey on the behavior of employees in the workplace. Tell me, how is your best employee doing right now?... uh-huh, and are you satisfied with the work that he or she has been putting out? I see, do you feel that this employee is valuable to your company? Oh, I am very sorry to hear that. Just one more, is this employee worth the money that he or she is getting paid? No, that is all. Thank you for your time, Ms. Héderváry." Disgustingly devious, Lovino figured. That is what Antonio was being. Disgustingly devious.
"'Ello?" Arthur asked into his mobile. Alfred was still in bed, so he brought it upon himself to make them both breakfast, despite the soreness in his ass. He thought it would turn out something like bacon and eggs, but so far it looked like burnt white stuff and yolk in a pan. He turned off the stove and walked into the other room.
"Mr. Kirkland, this is Ms. Héderváry."
"I-uh, yes, is there something wrong?" He asked, growing nervous. He still hadn't done much of the work he was assigned and a call from Ms. Héderváry usually meant bad news.
He heard her click her tongue, "Mr. Kirkland, it has occurred to me that in the past month you have gone from our top employee to doing less work than Mr. Vargas. You do understand that this is far below satisfactory." Feliciano Vargas was the laziest person on the planet. All he wanted to do was sit around and make food or draw. He never did any work and any time somebody would scold him, he would run away as if it were a fist fight he couldn't handle.
Arthur flinched, that was a strong insult, "I- I apologize, Ms. Héderváry, things have been very hectic and—"
"I don't want your excuses. Mr. Kirkland, you were a valuable member of the team, but you have slacked and I have no choice but to give your position to Francis Bonnefoy. "
There was a long pause. Francis Bonnefoy? He wanted to scream, he wanted to cuss out that deranged woman and break the phone and punch something. Why the hell would she give his job to bloody Francis Bonnefoy!
" Ms. Héderváry, a-are you sure that is wise?" He ignored the fact that his voice cracked.
The Hungarian woman sighed, "Arthur, you were doing so well back in England, but as soon as you showed up here, things went downhill. Fast." Her tone went from serious to almost regretful, " I was so excited to have you be working under me, but you greatly disappointed, not only me, but all of F.A.G. And that is why we are letting Francis take your position."
And this brought him right back to his very first problem. Doddamn Moonbucks. If Moonbucks had not taken over his mother's café, he never would have created Jack Union and he never would have lost his position.
"So this is a demotion." Arthur said, solemn.
His boss sighed, "Arthur, I think it might be good for you if you took a vacation before you came back to work. Maybe go back to England and get settled in again." She said.
"So I'm fired?" Arthur spat, angered.
"No, no! Not fired, just take a paid vacation and come back to work in… two, three weeks. Once you come back into the office we will have all the information regarding your new position."
He paused again, his hands trembling. He really, really hated this all. He did have half the mind to go back to the office right then and show them the marvels he created as Jack Union. He'd like to see Francis Bonnefoy create a ten foot tall pigeon. Which made him think, what the hell was he going to do with his giant pets? It's not like he could just let them go, or anything. And now that he lost his position, he also lost full access to the basement…
"Arthur? You still there?"
"Huh—Oh, yes, sorry. I will come back to work in two weeks, then." He said quickly. "Thank you, Ms. Héderváry." He hung up without letting her say her goodbyes.
He wanted to cry. He wanted to punch a few walls and let his pigeon go and eat the face off of that prissy Frenchman. How could they do that to him! He was a fucking prodigy! Angry tears fell down his cheeks as he scrapped the scraps of burnt eggs into the garbage.
"What's burning….?" Alfred walked in clad only in cotton boxers, yawning. He noticed that Arthur was upset and immediately went over to console him. "Hey, are you alright? What happened?" He asked, reaching for Arthur's wrist.
Arthur swatted it away, still pissed, and not wanting any comfort. "Bloody Francis Bonnefoy took my job from me, the bastard." He mumbled, whipping his face angrily.
There was a pause. Francis Bonnefoy… It sounded so familiar…, "Wait a sec, is he, like, a creepy pedo French guy?" He asked. Arthur stared, confused, and nodded. "Holy shit! I hate that guy!" He folded his arms over his chest, "He convinced my brother to go live with him in France even though they didn't even know each other."
"You have a brother?" Arthur asked, a little shocked. He had never heard anything of a brother, though; half of their relationship up until the previous night was entirely based on lies and mystery.
Alfred nodded, "Well, a twin, actually. When my parents got divorced he went all rogue and went to live in Canada with my grandparents, so none of my friends growing up really knew about him. Then he came back and stayed with me for a bit for school and then he met that freakin' creeper on emelody." His face grew angry, "And then he was all 'Hey, Al, is it okay if I go to France?' and I was all 'What about school?' and he was all 'I got a scholarship for this really nice private college there.'" He flopped down on his couch mumbling something about asshole, "How do you know him?"
"We went to school together. He was a pompous jerk who didn't give a rat's arse about anyone but himself. But everyone seemed to like him. " He rolled his eyes and sat down next to Alfred. "If I were still a villain, I'd say lets kick his arse." He sighed, "But that's not my forte anymore."
Suddenly, a huge smile cracked on Alfred's face, "Holy shit I just had an awesome idea!" He sat up and faced Arthur, "So, obviously Francis is evil so we get to kick his ass whenever so that bit is out of the way. But what if me and you joined forces!"
Arthur cocked an eyebrow, "Joined forces?"
"Yeah! Like in the comic books! Batman and Robin, Green Arrow and Speedy! You could be like my sidekick! You can be… The Royal Teabag!" He laughed. Alfred's face was so childish and for some reason, that made Arthur almost want to say yes. Almost.
"Hell no! I don't want to be your bleedin' sidekick!" He said. "The Royal Teabag! You really are an idiot!" He pushed Alfred's arm, playfully.
"Well you're either my sidekick or my Lois Lane." His voice became seductive and though Arthur had no idea who the hell Lois Lane was, he figured he wouldn't mind too much.
The Englishman chuckled, "I don't know who that is," He said.
Alfred gaped. "You don't know who Lois Lane is! That's like… that's like saying you don't know who Mary Jane is!" Arthur shook his head, "GAH! Doesn't anyone read comics in where you're from? Aren't there any super heros in England?"
He paused, "Well, there's The Doctor." Alfred looked confused, "He's an alien time traveler… It's a long story. You'd have to watch it to understand." He thought a moment, "Actually, you might really like it."
Alfred pulled Arthur into his lap and hugged him, " Okay, you read some of my comics and we'll watch that weird English thing."
"It's a deal." Leaned into Alfred's shoulder and smiled, "But I'm not going to be your bloody sidekick."
The phone rang and the beautiful young man sprang up to answer it, "Please excusez-moi," He said the other man just smiled, he strutted to the phone. "Bonjour?" he sang. "Oh! Ms. Héderváry what a pleasant surprise. I 'eard you got a promotion, congratulations!" He paused, a wide smile making its way onto his face, "You want me to take ze job? In America? One moment please," He placed his hand over the receiving end of the phone, "Matthieu! How would you feel about going back to America?"
The man on the couch stuttered, "Well, uh, I mean, sure. I guess… Where exactly?"
"Buttsecks City. Oh! Isn't zat where your brother lives? "
Matthew smiled, "Yeah… It would be really great to see him." he was a little worried, though... Alfred might be angry that he kind of just left him for an almost stranger in a different country. "You should take the job, though. The genetic engineer position in America was the really nice one, right?"
Francis walked over to Matthew and kissed his cheek, "Merci, mon ami." He turned around and resumed his conversation with the Hungarian woman."Ms. Héderváry, I will take ze job!" He smiled again, "Oh, merci! We will be there as so as we can, zen. Revoir, Ms. Héderváry."
So review me, bitches! Because reviews make the world go round!
I look forward to seeing you all in chapter two.