Beeper Wars

By Arwendle

Pairing M/A

Set after H/G

Disclaimer: Don't own not mine. But if I really wanted to I could break into Jensens house and steal him. I mean he only lives 20 minutes from my house…

The beeper just wouldn't shut up! Why Max didn't just accept the fact that beepers were redundant and get a cell phone was totally beyond Alec's comprehension. Alec could deal with the reasoning that beepers couldn't be tracked and accept that Max kept it as a saftey precaution…maybe. But when she left it at Joshua's while he was trying to watch television in peace he came close to snapping. He has tried to ignore it but the damn thing just kept going off. The off switch obviously wasn't working. He turned it to vibrate and shoved it in the bottom of a drawer and smothered it in pillows. "There", he thought "all better." He went back to watching an old Friends rerun. It didn't help. With his super hearing even smothered in pillows it sounded like a really loud fly buzzing endlessly around his head. He couldn't take it anymore. Alec threw down the remote and seeing only red, went after the beeper he was going to make pay for its' crimes.

Alec held the beeper in its hand and thought of all the glorious ways that he could torture it to death. He glanced down at the code… But first he was going to deal with the only person stupid enough to not figure out a pattern after paging Max 43… The beeper buzzed again …make that 44 times in one hour and getting no response.

He dialled Logan's number.


" No actually this is your second favourite transgenic"

"You don't sound like Joshua"

"Ha very funny buddy. You should be a comedian."

"Alec why are you calling me again?"

"I need you to do me a big favour."


"STOP paging Max! Her beeper is driving me insane."

"Max is there?"

"No she is not here! Don't you think that if she were here she would have called to scream at you by now? I mean seriously 44 times is slightly excessive even for…"

"I always call her this many times. (pause) Why do you have Max's pager?"

"Oh she left it here at my place last night. Now was there something you needed to tell Max or were you just testing to see how long her pager batteries would last."

"I need to talk to her."


"Alec I really don't want to discuss this with you."

"Whatever. I'll tell her you called." Alec clicked the disconnect button on his phone and placed it back in his pocket.

He picked up the beeper and contemplated its demise.

20 minutes later

Alec stood with the meat cleaver high above his head poised for the kill. As his victim lay buzzing it's final notes on a solid wood cutting board. He was so intent on the kill he missed the sound of footsteps behind him.

"I'm going to cut you up into little pieces then grind you into dust and feed you to Logan." He chortled as the blade swept downwards.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The blade stopped inches above the pager.

"Nothing Max. Just making a sandwich." Alec said glaring at the pager.

"With my beeper?"

The item in question buzzed again.

"That is the 53rd time in the last hour and a half that thing has gone off." Alec said very quietly and controlled " It deserves to die" Max looked at him oddly.

" Manticore did not teach us to deal with psycho norms that can't take a hint." Alec said futilely.

"Give me the pager Alec."

"I'll buy you a cell phone Max I promise."

"Alec give me my pager" Max said getting annoyed.

"I'm sorry. I can't do that Max"Alec pocketed the pager and grabbed his leather jacket off a chair.

"Where the hell are you going?"

" Out."

"Not with my pager you're not."

"You'll have to catch me first" With that Alec took off running at Manticore speed. Max took off after him. She jumped on her Ninja but the way he was dodging into alleyways and scaling buildings she was much better off chasing him on foot. She ditched the bike and ran after him as if possessed. It wasn't about the beeper. She hated the thing and the number of times Logan paged her on it. She herself had thought of killing it in the past more than once. There was no way she was going to let Alec know that though, and there was no way she was going to let him get away with this. It was principle.

Alec climbed the wall of an old warehouse quickly and efficiently. It felt good to stretch his legs. Max was 10ft behind him and coming fast but she wasn't gaining. Max might be as fast and agile as he was but she lacked technique and it was slowing her down just enough. He reached the roof of the warehouse and sprinted across the ridge like it was a soccer field. Now Max was up and sprinting too. They were perfectly matched neither gaining nor losing as the chase continued. Alec leapt across to an adjacent roof without even the slightest of wobbles.

Then the beeper buzzed again. Alec was momentarily distracted and that was the moment that Max sprang.

Like a cat she glided up in the air impossibly fast but so precise it could have been in slow motion. Her feet connected with Alec's chest and he went flying backwards and through the roof. Max calmly strode to the opening and peered down. Expecting to see Alec lying on his back on the floor.

She saw only the empty concrete floor and a bunch of dusty crates.

Then Alec's hand emerged through the opening quickly and pulled her down headfirst. Max flipped and landed softly on her feet. She turned to see Alec springing down from the rafters.

She went for him and he stood and waited. This was nothing like the time she fought him in the boxing ring. They were matching each other hit for hit. The momentum was building and the moves got quicker and somehow impossibly precise. Max was moving faster than she ever had. Then the moves became too fast even for their enhanced sight to see. But that had become irrelevant. At some point during the fight they had stopped being adversaries and had become a single entity of movement and motion. Each could anticipate the others moves without thought. The battle began to resemble the grace of a ballet. The fighting continued to accelerate and then without warning it stopped.

They both took a step back and sat down out of breath.

"Wow!" Max said panting. " That was better than sex."

Alec could only nod "waaaaaaaaay better."He finally added. He fished in his jacket and pulled out the beeper, which had been smashed during the fighting and was now making a half strangled electronic gurgling sound.

"Logan really doesn't give up does he?" Alec scowled

Max smirked then added"You do realise you're buying me a cell phone."

Alec's scowl reversed "I'll buy you a new cell phone as soon as I'm finished making this pager pay for its crimes." He glanced up. "And you are going to help me."

"Whatever did you have in mind?" Max grinned evilly.