(A/N: For those curious, yeah I'm still alive. ;) I've just been way too busy to really focus on writing, but I fully intend to finish the stories I've left hanging. Promise! This is a story I did ages ago and forgot to submit. Like my other one shots it was a challenge given to me of making a story that involved Emmett, Jacob, wrestling, and drag racing lol. I think it was the first time I wrote Emmett. As with all of my stories, I love hearing what people have to say, good or bad, so don't be shy.)
"I just don't get it. What is he allergic to success or something? I swear every time the guy gets a push he ends up leaving for some reason." Emmett grumbled, leaning back on the couch.
Alice raised an eyebrow as she looked over. "You know what I don't get? Why you get so into it when you know it's fake…"
Emmett turned to Alice, sticking out his tongue. "Wrestling is not fake, it's scripted. So it's basically like any other show."
"With guys beating the crap out of each other." Alice added.
"It's why I love it so!" Emmett exclaimed. "And you complain but you're watching it with me."
Alice shrugged. "Yeah, that's because it's half naked, oily guys beating the crap out of each other. All I'm saying is that it isn't actually a sport."
"Can Bella do it?" Emmett asked with a grin.
Alice snickered to herself. "So you're saying if Bella can't physically do it then it qualifies as a sport?"
"Sounds about right!" Jacob chimed in from the other room. He was currently trying to prove to Jasper that he could beat him in Poker despite Jasper's power making a Poker face a moot point. He wasn't faring too well.
Alice got a curious look as turned to the screen again. "See…that move totally doesn't look painful."
"No no, really. I've tried that hold myself. Hurts even more when you dig your knee into the back." Emmett defended, making the motion.
"Like this?" Alice asked, innocently, putting Emmett into the hold. "You know…I think you're right. You can't get out of it can you?"
Emmett struggled against the hold which, as he pointed out, was getting more painful and the way Alice was positioned, his own strength was working against him. From the other room he could hear Jasper sigh. "Idiot…"
"She totally knows what she's doing, doesn't she?" Jacob asked.
"Yyyyyup. Studied amateur wrestling a couple years ago." Jasper replied.
"Oh Emmett?" Alice asked, keeping the innocent tone to her voice.
"Ack! What?" Emmett was thrashing around a little more now but it wasn't doing any good.
"On a…completely unrelated note to the current situation. Would you happen to know what happened to my Manolo Blahnik boots?" Alice asked, adding more pressure to the hold.
"Ugh!" Emmett struggled in vain to get out. "I didn't take your boots. You'd have known as soon as I thought about it."
"He's hiding something." Jasper said from the other room, causing Jacob to snicker.
"Oh I know. But he hasn't decided to tell me what it is yet." Alice stated as a mischievous grin crossed her face. "Let's see what I can do about that." Alice made some seemingly minor adjustments to the hold, the effect of which was obvious almost immediately.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! OKAY! OKAY! I was looking around and the heel was exactly the right size. I wanted to see how high I could make Rose's heels before she noticed I was messing with them." Emmett got out.
"You. Took. The heels. Off. My. Manolo. Blahnick. BOOTS!" Once again Emmett's yell rang throughout the house. In the other room, Jasper calmly continued to murder Jacob in Poker, but Jasper did stop as if he were going to say something, shrugged and put out his full house, causing Jacob to slam his fists on the table.
"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! JACOB! BRING THEM! BRING THEM NOW!" Emmett yelled.
"Should I help him out?" Jacob asked Jasper with a grin.
"Well. His screaming is kind of throwing me off my game." Jasper replied, smirking.
Jacob threw down the cards. "Oh bull, you liar." He said, rolling his eyes as Jasper chuckled.
"Hey, Poker was your idea." Jasper pointed out.
"Yeah yeah. This isn't over by the way." Jacob said as he went outside and brought in a small box. As he walked in, Alice was giving him a curious look. It was slightly irritating not being able to know what was going to happen. Though thinking back, Alice didn't see her shoes being stolen so maybe the wolf had something to do with it.
"Me and Emmett got these for you. As a thank you for helping us out last week." Jacob said, handing over the box.
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jacob exclaimed as the car went skidding across the road, leaving a telltale mark from the tires as he kept his foot on the gas until choosing the exact right time to stop. Looking out of the convertible, Jacob looked to see how close the car was to the edge of the gap. Jumping out of the car, Jacob flashed Emmett a cocky expression. "One foot away from it. Beat that."
Emmett let out a breath. Sure it was his idea to go on a drifting challenge with Rosalie's car, but he was sure Jacob was going to crash it that time. Currently as long as they changed the tires, she'd never know. Common sense would say that enough was enough. Especially since if they go over that gap the car's totaled. But unfortunately common sense goes out the window when Jacob's in the lead.
Emmett moved over to the driver's seat as Jacob hopped back in on the passenger's side. "Prepare to have your mongrel mind blown once you see the master at work." Emmett stated, revving the engine as they drove down the empty road, turning the car around. With another rev, Emmett floored the accelerator, going full speed until he hit the point they'd decided as the point of no return to hit the breaks. Going significantly past that line, Emmett finally hit the breaks turning the car into a mass of ordered chaos.
Or at least the chaos was supposed to be ordered. "CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" The two yelled in unison as they saw that the car wasn't going to stop in time. Luckily when it did stop, it didn't go all the way over. It was currently teetering.
"Okay…okay…we'll be fine…as long as we slowly…lean back…" Emmett muttered.
"…right…you know that's not gonna work, right?" Jacob stated.
"It'll work! It'll work! Just do it." Emmett began to slowly lean himself back and Jacob shrugged and followed suit and the car ended up sliding forward from the movement.
"Told you." Jacob stated. "We're going to have to jump out the car."
"If we do that, this car's going to get wrecked and so will I until I buy her another one." Emmett grumbled.
"Well, you can't lift the car while you're in it, so…unless you can think of a better idea, I'm jumping. You can stay in the car if you want." Jacob growled.
"Okay well…we can use that tow truck over there." Emmett pointed in the rear view mirror.
"Tow truck! What the-?" Jacob exclaimed as he looked back and surely enough, there was a tow truck, currently backing up to help them out. "How did-?"
Emmett and Jacob looked at each other and nodded as they both knew the answer. "Alice."
Almost immediately, Emmett's phone rang. "Alice. Have I mentioned that you're the most awesome sister in the world and that I love you." Emmett said as he answered the phone.
"Uh huh…" Alice's voice said on the other end. "Me and Rose are going shopping in the Porsche. We should be back in about 5 hours or so, hope you boys can keep yourselves entertained while we're gone."
Emmett could easily decipher that Rose was apparently in earshot. "We've got 5 hours to fix the car." Emmett said to Jacob, who nodded.
"I'll only need 3."
"Hope you two aren't getting into trouble. Oh how I love this Porsche. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to it. I'd be…very…angry." Alice especially stressed the end of that sentence.
"Got it." Emmett turned again to Jacob and interpreted. "If we go anywhere near Alice's Porsche, she'll make our lives a living Hell."
Jacob snorted. "Like you're living."
Emmett just gave Jacob a look. "Oh just shut up and fix the damn car."
End of Flashback:
Alice finally let go of Emmett and eagerly opened the box. It was a very interesting sensation opening a gift without already knowing what was inside. Involving Jake in this was really smart on Emmett's behalf. Alice gasped as she pulled out the brilliantly red stilettos. "Are these…Stuart Weitzmans?"
"That they are. We didn't know your shoe size though, which is why we took the boots. They're in the car." Emmett said, stretching to get the feeling back in his back.
"They're gorgeous! And how could you have lived with me this long without knowing my shoe size?" Alice asked without actually taking her eyes off the shoes.
"I don't pay attention to that stuff." Emmett said with a shrug.
"Then why didn't you ask Jasper? Or Edward? Or Carlisle even?" Alice asked, currently putting the shoes on.
A loud sound was heard as Jacob smacked Emmett in the back of the head. "That's what I said. He said that was the 'wussy' way to go about it."
"It was the wussy way!" Emmett protested. "Plus the less people who knew about it the less chance you'd find out. I just put up the price tag. Jacob was the one who got it."
"Yeah, well next time, I'm not saving your asses when you do something stupid." Alice stated, admiring how the shoes looked on her.
"But…if you save us the next time we do something stupid…you'll get another obscenely expensive gift out of it." Jacob pointed out.
Alice paused, momentarily awed by that possibility. "Touché, wolf boy. Well played."