Disclaimer: Thats it! I hate typing this thing... I'm gonna go buy Victorious now, cause I don't own it and have to type this so Bye.
"You can't play this game anymore Vega," I growled at her, clenching my fists at my sides. I felt my nails pierce my skin as my glare increased.
"You can't play it because I can't win." I said staring away from her. She stepped forward and let her hand rest on my cheek, my skin warming by the contact.
"Jade... I don't want to play anymore." She moved her face so it was only a breath away.
"I want you." She pressed her lips against mine and all anger seeped out of me. All thoughts of ripping Tori in half died, and the only thing I could think of was getting more of her. I snaked my arm up her back and pressed her head closer to mine as I licked her bottom lip, she opened her mouth and I let my tongue explore her mouth. She moaned into my mouth as I pulled her closer to me by her hips.
"Gone cast away in yours, now evil I robbed you blind, the voices in my head could jest a less than peaceful side." My Ihome alarm clock blared at me to wake me for school. Damn reality, and damn Vega for making me dream about her... again. Thats like the ninth time this week, and its only Wednesday.
"The endless possibilities controlling every fight. You can't break me, crushed the fears of can't change me, barriers our trust will fade." My Ihome continued to sing as I climbed out of bed, already irritated today. How is it that a wonderful dream about kissing a beautiful girl can piss me off? Because I wasn't just kissing a girl, that I could with, I was kissing Vega. The very vain of my existence.
"I've stood in the dark, been waiting all this we damn the dead I'm trying to survive, I'm not ready to die." The only reason I used to wake up every morning happy to go to school was so I could ruin her life just that much more, but now I dread every time my Ipod screams waking me from another Tori filled dream and brings me to the reality that is me trying to avoid her and seem normal at the same time. Beck has noticed my change to. See when I first realized that I might feel something towards Tori, that isn't total disdain, I kneeled before him completely naked begging him to fuck me.
"Damned, watch the masses fall. Burn it down, control 'em all. Make me crawl, to daddy's little girl to read the writings on the wall." He didn't. He told me I was emotional and that I wasn't thinking rationally. I let out a shaky breath as I climbed in the shower, I love the feeling of scalding hot water cascading over my skin and burning it slightly. Beck told me that he knew that I didn't love him anymore, and its not that I don't love him I'm just not in love with him.
"While cast into the nothingness the final curtain call. You can't break me, crushed the fears of yesterday. You can't change me, barriers our trust will fade. I've stood in the dark, been waiting all this time. While we damn the dead I'm trying to survive, I'm not ready to die." I had plugged my Ipod up to my speakers in the bathroom so I could still hear the music, it helps me when I start thinking like this. When I start thinking about her. Victoria Vega. Just thinking about her makes a chill run through me. I turn up the heat on the water until my body can't take it anymore and is basically screaming for cool relief. It doesn't get it.
"Through the madness we find loyalty is no match for power. Save your body or lie, left to rot in your darkest hour. Friends won't help you now as long as your mine" I stand in the heat letting my body scream in pain as the water burns me, thinking about Tori. About how when I see her my mind screams for me to touch her, kiss her, tell anything she wants to hear just to have her for a moment. About how when I stare in her eyes I see everything in her, the confusion, the fear, the love, the hesitation, the caring. I slump against the wall and sigh heavily. Damn you Vega. Damn you for ever having such a beautiful voice and making it into school, my school. Damn you for fucking up everything I worked so hard to have.
"You can't break me, crushed the fears of yesterday. You can't change me, barriers our trust will fade. I've stood in the dark, been waiting all this time. While we damn the dead I'm trying to survive." I climb out of the shower and start drying off. I stare at the towel a moment, sometimes I find myself imagining its Tori's hands running over me instead of this scratchy faded blue towel. Tori plays these games with me. Its like she knows how I feel and uses it against me, that or she just subconsciously just it all. But please tell me who subconsciously presses their ass into someone while waiting in line for lunch? Who subconsciously grabs someone else's hand while in class? When she does these things I snap at her and ask her who I look like, Cat?
"And I'll control the world one person at a time. As I damn the dead I'm trying to survive, I'm not ready to die. Oh! I'm not ready to die. I'm not ready to die ! I'm not ready to die ! I'm not ready to die !" The song ended as I walked back out into my room to get dressed. Yeah all these thoughts and I haven't even left for school yet. I haven't even seen her, heard her voice, heard someone talk about her, and she is already the only thing on my mind. Its like that all day. I can't stop thinking about her to the point where I find my eyes clawing over her in the middle of class and I find little doodles of hearts with her initials in them on my notes. I always look away quickly and color in the hearts, black like mine, before anyone can see. Tori has a tight hold on me and I want to games to stop. But I don't know how to make it end. I slung my backpack over my shoulder resentfully and climbed down the stairs in my house. My mother sat at the bottom of the stairs in her favorite chair awaiting for me to awake.
"Ah, Jadelyn." She says sweetly, so sweet it makes me want to puke.
"We have an early brunch tomorrow so you shall be later for class, be sure to get your work dear." I sighed as I reached the bottom step and smiled at her.
"Yes mother." I said obediently. My family is rich, and famous, and because of this I have to get dressed up and entertain some stupid punks while my mother and father play nice with the other rich people. I don't hate my parents, But I sure as hell don't love them. I cussed out my mom once. When I finished she said "That's nice dear." And sent me to my room to go to bed. I don't hate them, I hate that they are far to into themselves to care about me. It may sound selfish but I'm a person to and I would like a little attention. Thats why I force everyone at school to give me theirs, good or bad everyone knows the name Jade West. But Tori, she acts like she doesn't care if she knows or not. Like whether our fates had crossed or not her life would be the same. I hate it. I hate that to her I'm so disposable. I guess I made myself that way, all the shit I put that girl through, but I can't just up and stop acting like that. I have an image. I have a reputation. If theirs one thing my parents have actually taught me its that reputation is everything.
"I'm off to school mother." I said walking to the door.
"Jadelyn," She said firmly. I turned to see her standing.
"Don't forget about the date you have tonight with the Powers boy." I sighed. My mother loved to set me up on dates with rich boys hoping I will fall for one of them and leave Beck to marry the rich son of some rich man.
"Yes mother." I reached for the door handle.
"And Jadelyn," Her voice was right in my ear, breath hot on my neck. She must have walked to me, but I didn't hear her at all.
"You shall wear a dress, make up, and be polite to this boy. Any word about death threats and I will pull you from this art school of yours." I sighed again before giving my mom the best smile I could.
"Yes mother." She kissed my temple before opening the door and ushering me out. I walked to my car, opened the door and violently threw my bag in before climbing in myself. I slammed the door and crammed the key in the ignition. Fucking mother. Just because I threatened bloodshed upon two, or three, or maybe nineteen, guys who she forced me to date doesn't mean I'm going to do it to everyone. And I think I deserve a little credit. Each death threat was different and unique to that particular douche bag. I pulled up to the prison of school and rushed to my locker before I could catch the eye of anyone from my immediate little pose of friends. I threw open my locker and switched out some books in favor of ones I need for my first couple of classes. I closed my locker and rested my forehead against the cool metal with a sigh, my head just fitting between a couple scissors.
"Hey Babe." Yes Beck and I are still together. But together only because neither of us wants to see the other deal with being single and pinning over someone. I turned to him and smiled slightly. He pulled me into a kind hug, which I needed right now.
"How are you this morning?" His smooth voice, that used to be the object of my affection not that long ago, rang out above me.
"I didn't sleep well last night." I said, voice muffled against his chest. He stroked my hair softly and rested his chin on the crown of my head.
"Her again?" Yes I told him about my dreams about Vega. He's my best friend, other then Cat. But Cat's Tori's best friend to, and she likes to play match maker a lot. I nod slowly pulling away from his grip and starting my walk to first period.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" He asks simply. I turn on my heel in time to see him running his hand through his long dark brown hair.
"Because she is who she is and I am who I am, and she and I don't mix. We are polar opposites in every way... and I can't hurt her." I said staring at the ground before turning and walking to class. I knew I was far enough away that Beck wouldn't shout after me and make a scene, he hates unnecessary attention, so I made my way into class. Arhend's class. I never pay attention in this class, mostly cause its science for fucks sake, but today I sat doodling hearts with a certain brunette's initials in them since the first bell rang.
"Um... Jade." I didn't want to turn and acknowledge her voice. I knew it was her. No one else could send goose bumps over my arms just by saying my name. I turned to glare at her.
"What do you want Vega?" I said with just enough venom to seem normal, for me.
"Well we were told to study together." She said practically hiding behind her science book. I looked around and saw everyone else paired off and reading. I rolled my eyes and Tori sat next to me and opened her book. She looked over at me expectantly, brown eyes glinting in the light. I cocked my pierced eyebrow at her in a silent "what?"
"Aren't you going to open your book?" Tori said eyeing my book not that far away. I opened my mouth to reply when I heard footsteps behind me and another, more shrill, voice spoke over me.
"Yes Jade, aren't you going to open your book?" Mrs. Arhend stood directly behind me. I turned, putting on the fakest smile I could muster.
"Sure I am Mrs. Arhend, when hell freezes over." I say with as much fake enthusiasm as I can. The old women rolls her eyes at me and turns walking away. I flip up my middle finger at her back as she walks before turning back to Vega. He brown eyes floated over the text in front of her, mouth barely moving to sort of mouth each word.
"Vega, your really studying?" I asked, slightly amused.
"Yes, you should try it." She said without looking up from her book.
"And what? Become a nerd like you? No thanks." I say tuning back to my paper, which had somehow become a picture of a faceless women surrounded by black bleeding hearts. I smiled softly at the drawing and started shading.
"Wow Jade, thats really good." I looked up to see Tori's face right next to mine as she analyzed my drawing. I watched her eyes scan every line like they had the text, only this time her lips didn't form words only a soft smile.
"Who is she?" Tori asked, eyes looking up to meet mine.
"Umm... er... I don't know yet." I admitted looking down at the drawing myself.
"I didn't know you could draw like this Jade." She said, finger tracing the curve of the girls neck. My breath caught in my throat as I felt the games begin for the day.
"Could you maybe draw me a picture?" She asked scooting slightly closer to me.
"Um.. sure." I say carefully. I realize how close she is when my hand brushes hers as I lift it to brush a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
"Really? That'd be amazing, something I can hang on my wall." I look back down at the drawing in front of me and smiled pushing it towards her.
"You can have this one." I say carefully.
"Really?" She asks picking up the picture and staring at me. I nod and rummage through my bag for more drawing paper.
"Why are you being nice to me?" Her voice cuts through me and I realize I am being nice. I notice a bottle of food coloring in my bag and grab it.
"Its only so you won't be to mad when I do this." I say popping the top on the food coloring before dumping its contents on Tori's shirt. Her jaw dropped in shock and anger but she didn't say anything. The bell rang and I shoved my stuff in my bag.
"Now I want you all to exchange numbers and addresses with your partners and study at someone's house tonight, research shows students learn better in their natural environments." Mrs. Arhend yells as kids pile out the door. I scowl at the old women as I hear Cat gasp in behind me, no doubt seeing Tori's now green stained shirt. I didn't want to do it, but their was nothing else I could do. I walked in through the hall feeling like shit. I made my way to Sikowitz's class and sat in my usual seat in the back, leaning my head back with a deep sigh.
"What did you do?" Beck asked, not that far away from me. I looked at him through the corner of my eye.
"Tori is in the bathroom with Cat crying about something." He said pointing at the open door. I sighed and pulled out my phone. I shot Cat a quick text.
"Is Tori ok? Don't tell her I asked - Jade" Beck sat next to me in the empty class, his backpack making a soft thud as it hit the ground next to his chair.
"What did you do?" He asked in his consoler voice.
"Poured green food coloring all over Tori's shirt." I said in a drone unemotional voice. This is how it is between us whenever I'm mean to Tori. He makes me tell him what I did, then he makes me tell him...
"Why?" He asks in the same voice.
"Because I was being nice to her and I didn't have any excuse for it." I said while rolling my eyes. Then he scolds me.
"Jade you really can't do stuff like that. Just because you aren't ready to face your feelings for Tori doesn't mean you can cover her in green food coloring." I shrugged and looked away.
"What? I wanted to know if she'd taste better green, but she's still to sweet for my taste." I said smirking at him, proud that I had found a way to use the situation to piss him off. He sighed and shook his head, I knew that meant he gives up for now. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I checked it quickly.
"Yes - Cat" I sighed happily before returning my phone to its place in my pocket.
"Who was that?" Beck asked looking sideways at me.
"Cat." I say simply before pulling out some drawing paper and a binder to draw on.
"What did she want?" He asked sitting up. Beck had a huge crush on Cat and made it overly obvious to everyone but the petite red head of his affection.
"Nothing." I say simply pulling out a sharpie and beginning to draw random patterns on the paper. Tori and cat walked in, Tori wearing a shirt I recognized from the costume closet. It was a normal shirt except that it said loser on the front. I laughed lightly before Cat glared over her shoulder at me. Cat loves me like a sister, but gets really mad at me when I'm mean to Tori. She doesn't know how I feel for Tori so she just thinks I'm being a bitch. The rest of the class poured shortly after, with Sikowitz diving in through the window.
"Ok class, get in groups of two." Sikowitz said while sipping on a coconut through a swirly straw and standing center stage. Beck turned to me and smiled.
"Now think of someone else." Tori is the only other person I can think of right now.
"Now I want you to write something for only that person on a piece of paper." I wrote down two words. Two simple words that I never have the balls to say to Tori ever. I looked back up at Sikowitz wondering what this has to do with acting.
"What does this have to do with acting?" Tori asked with her hand in the air. Sikowitz chuckled at her comment.
"Oh you'll see. Now fold up that paper into a little tiny square and hand it to your partner, but don't tell them who its for." I handed Beck my paper as he handed me his. I examined the paper and could read the words "go out" through the thin material. Well I know who he was thinking about. I watched him examine my paper, no doubt trying to read it.
"Now partners, take that paper to who you believe it was written for and you can't help each other in anyway." I glance at Beck and smirked before standing and walking over to Cat.
"Here Cat." I saw with a smirk on my lips. She smiles up at me.
"Wow Jade, saved me the walk." She says thrusting a paper in my hands. I stared at it, then glanced at Vega as Beck handed her my note. I sat back down and examined the folded piece of paper in my hand, wanting nothing more then to tear it open and read it.
"Did your partner give the note to the right person?" Most of the class nodded and Sikowitz clapped his hands loudly.
"Because you trusted them. You see that was just like acting on stage, you have to trust your fellow actors to carry you to where you belong in the scene. Not literally of course but you get my meaning." He smiled like he thought he was just a genius for coming up with this. Cat's hand shot in the air and I could faintly hear Vega say.
"No, Cat no."
"Yes Cat?" Sikowitz said, taking a long drink from his coconut as Cat spoke.
"What do we do with the notes?" He laughed and leaned forward a little.
"I don't care." As soon as the words left my lips I tore open Tori's not and read.
"I don't care how mean you are, you are my friend and I can't wait to study together later." Thats it? I finally tell the bitch I'm sorry and this is what I get? Fucking ridiculous. I look up to see Tori staring at my note, mouth agape. Yeah bet you feel stupid for what you wrote now huh? School went by in a flash of color and sound. It mostly consisted of me thinking of Tori nonstop while simultaneously avoiding the same half Latina. School finally ended and I climbed in my car. I sighed and leaned my head back resting a moment when their was a soft knock on the window. I turned to see Tori standing outside the window looking in at me nervously.
"Jade, since we need to study together anyway, can I have a ride home?" I sighed and nodded my head towards the passenger door. She just stood there. I stared at her likes she's stupid.
"Vega, get in or I'm running over your toes." I say simply. She rushes over to the passenger side and climbs in.
"Thanks Jade." I just nod and make an "uhuh" noise at her. The drive to her house was quick and silent, but I couldn't help my eyes tracing her perfect legs every once in a while. I parked in her driveway and climbed out with her. She opened the door and called for her family but no answer was heard.
"Guess their out." She said heading for the stairs. I followed her up to her room. It was a small room, compared to mine. It had a queen size bed, two dressers, a closet, a computer table with a laptop on it and spiny chair in front of it, and a small book case filled with books. A couple poster for musicals and plays were on her walls but other then that they were bare, a bland off white color as well.
"Nice room Vega." I said with sarcasm thick in my throat. She sighed and sat on her bed while I flopped back in her spiny chair.
"So studying." I said simply staring at the ceiling. I heard her shuffling.
"Yes, you need it I assume." I looked over to see her pulling out her books.
"Come on Vega, I don't study." She sighed and looked up at me.
"Then what are doing here Jade?" Her voice was soft yet stern. She really wanted to know but didn't want to be mean about it. I froze at the question not really knowing myself. I had planned on dropping her off and giving her some snide remark as I drove away, one that might leave her in tears, but I followed her instead. Why? I shrugged and looked back into her brown eyes.
"Nothing better to do." I said nonchalantly. She sighed and closed her book.
"Well if you don't want to study what do you want to do?" She asked clasping her hands together and leaning forward. Her shirt came forward just enough to reveal a little bit of cleavage to me and I bit my lip. Oh I want to study Vega, but I want to study anatomy specifically yours. I spun in the chair to break my eye contact with Tori's cleavage and blew out an audible breath.
" I don't know, talk?" I said stopping and looking at her. She looked at me oddly.
"Talk? With me? Like we're normal human beings?"
"I can leave you know Vega." I say hoping to end her mocking questions. She puts up her hands in surrender and smiles at me.
"I'd really like to talk to you Jade, please stay." And there it is again. A pull at my heart, and between my legs, for the beautiful girl in front of me.
A/N: Ok so this has a weird story as to why I was inspired to write it. Most of you are probably thinking "Oh you were probably inspired by listening to that heavy metal song thats in the story." Hahahahah no. I was actually listening to Super Bass By Nicki Minaj when I looked over at the related videos and one was called Don't play no games I can't win. And it was like, Lightblub. So here it is! I hope you like it!