Kokoro no soko kara
A ShikaIno fanfiction [Shikamaru x Ino]
By scribbles of madness
Summary: [Alternative Universe] Nara Shikamaru finds a soulmate in the most unlikely of places—a strip club—while Yamanaka Ino learns a concept the most foreign to her: love.
A/N: I WILL NEVER LOSE FAITH. Do not speak of Temari. Otherwise, you will be castrated (offending females will undergo surgery, receive testicle implants, and said testicles will immediately be removed BY RIPPING THEM OFF YOUR CROTCH), defenestrated, and ultimately die.
Another HighSchool!fic by yours truly :)
I know there are cynics out there just itching to report someone, so I'll just say that, although this fic is not based and/or told entirely through the characters' lives in cyberspace, several parts were inspired by TheCherryOnTop by ohwhatsherface and MissSakura by you're beautiful.
And I am aware that I am being cynical just by perceiving there are cynics out there.
Warning: language. And maybe sexual themes. Just for this chapter, and no lemon, though….maybe 8D
Disclaimer: Naruto is oh-so-fine; although how many times I whine—night may fall and sun may shine—Naruto is never mine :)
September 22, 2011
MOOD: FAMISHED DX
MUSIC: Fergalicious by Fergie
B-U-S-T-E-D, you are BUSTED!
WHETHER YOU LOVE HER OR YOU HATE HER, SHE'S GONE.
Tayuya, the flutist Shikamaru made out (and more) with for more than one occasion, has actually left him! :O We all know that for the past eight months, Shikamaru has been dating Temari, who graduated in the spring of 2009 and is now attending the all-girls college university in Suna. Well, everyone except Tayuya, that is. (Seriously, no wonder only fourteen percent voted they know her on my poll last week. Everyone who's anyone reads What's The Dish?) So when she learned from her white-haired friend with the strangest fetish for blue lipstick that Shikamaru was actually taken, her wonderful, melodic voice filled our place when she graciously called us yesterday at 9:32 in the evening. The following is the entire telephone exchange between Shikamaru and Tayuya, verbatim:
Shikamaru: Hello? Who the hell is—
Shikamaru: Why, thank you.
Tayuya: YOU JERK!
Tayuya: FUCK YOU, SHIKAMARU. DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID? I THOUGHT YOU GAVE A DAMN ABOUT ME! BUT YOU JUST LIED TO ME. I THOUGHT YOU WERE SPECIAL…I AM GOING TO SOUND AND YOU CAN JUST JACK OFF TO OPRAH IN YOUR STINKING LIVING ROOM, YOU LYING PIG!
Shikamaru: Woah, woah, Tayuya, when? Now?
Tayuya: What, you disappointed you don't have a fuck buddy anymore?
Shikamaru: I'm sorry…?
Tayuya: GO TO HELL!
Shikamaru: Hey, hold on—
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Tayuya's currently booking a flight to Sound, which is a thousand, thousand, thousand miles from MKU. Two hundred, thirty-five due north, to be specific.
What Temari's reaction will be is, of now, anyone's guess.
"Kokoro no soko kara."
Nara Shikamaru looked up from his book, Pride and Prejudice—the book assignment that semester. "What?"
"From the bottom of one's heart." Akimichi Chouji, his best friend and roommate, grinned widely. "We should put that up on our blog. I'll make it the title of the post I'll put up when Temari finds out you're a manwhore."
Shikamaru rose from his recliner and headed for the kitchen. One of Chouji's numerous hobbies was writing a blog that mostly contained details of Shikamaru's personal life and posting it up on the Internet. At first he protested but soon gave up thinking that Chouji would tire of it sooner or later. He was wrong. The three-year old blog had a total of 976 posts and approximately 3000 readers, most of which are fellow high school students.
"Your blog, not mine," Shikamaru corrected, looking around in the refrigerator. "I never agreed to let all of Konoha Institute of Secondary Education be informed of my sexual exploits in the form of an online journal. Damn it, the beef leftovers from last night went bad."
Chouji placed his laptop on the short-legged coffee table beside him. "Aw, really? Guess we're gonna have to eat out tonight. We could make tonight Chinese night!"
"Ugh, that's a 10-minute drive, Chouji," Shikamaru complained, his mood souring at the very idea of having to drive all the way to the Chinese restaurant Tenten's family managed.
"I'm not the one whose mom insisted that we stay at the loft her sister previously owned, Shikamaru."
Shikamaru pressed a button on the answering machine to listen to the messages as he left the kitchen. "I wasn't exactly jumping for joy when she commanded me to live here, Chouji."
"Dude, you really suck! Prank calls don't work if you let the machine answer! By the way, I'm coming by your place tonight. See ya."
"Oh, cool. Naruto's joining us for dinner," Chouji said.
Uzumaki Naruto was in a chemistry class with Chouji. During the first meeting with their teacher, Naruto noticed the little Dr. Doom keychain on Chouji's backpack, and began to talk about how the producers will never be able to make the movie adaptations of everything in the Marvel universe. Naruto frequently visited the loft where Shikamaru and Chouji stayed to play videogames with the budding chef. Soon even Shikamaru came to enjoy Naruto's company, although he appeared to be irritated every time the hyperactive blonde disturbs him with his noise.
The high-pitched voice of a female rang painfully in Shikamaru and Chouji's ears. "You freaking wuss!"
Shikamaru was about to press 'next' when Chouji stopped him. "No, no, no, no! I want to hear this."
"Unless you stop your damn hiding, I will keep on leaving messages on your phone! Shikamaru, I. Am. Your. Girlfriend! I know about that other girl! I swear, I am going to break in and kick your balls in your sleep, you stupid asshole!"
The beep that signaled the next message filled the silent room.
"No, wait, that's all?" Chouji asked incredulously, wide-eyed. "You slept with Tayuya so much I can't believe she's not preggers and Temari's rant didn't even last one minute?"
Shikamaru shrugged. "Maybe she'll yell some more when she breaks in and kicks my balls in my sleep. See what you're doing to my life with your blog?"
"I know! I can't wait to post this!"
"It's your mom! Happy birthday, sweetie! I'm sorry we won't be able to come this year again. You know how it is with your dad's work and all. The package will arrive in a day or so. Hope you have a great birthday! And say hi to Chouji for me! Take care of yourself, okay? Oh! And make sure you have clean underwe—"
Shikamaru deleted the messages. Chouji blinked. He glanced at calendar that hung on the wall at his left.
"Oh, dude, I am so, so, so sorry. I forgot the date. Uh, happy birthday."
He headed for his room to make several changes to his research paper. He's been putting it off for a week now, and as much effort that would take, Kurenai-sensei warned them that if they don't submit on time, they'll be writing a book report on one of Shakespeare's problem plays of their choice. He could still hear his literature teacher in his mind. "Times New Roman, 11, 100 pages, single-spaced. Feel like slacking off now?"
He was looking for the adaptor that came with his laptop charger when Chouji called out from the TV room, "Hey, Shikamaru, what do you say we go to a strip club tonight?"
"Fine with me!" Shikamaru replied. He lifted a discarded pair of jeans off the floor and spotted a white square object. Found it. "…wait. WHAT?"
"First Impressions," Chouji said. "It's a really cool place two miles from here. That's where we're gonna celebrate your birthday, dawg!" He appeared in the doorway, a huge grin on his round, chubby face.
Shikamaru didn't seem just as excited. "Dude. Strip club? Are you freaking out of your mind?"
"Wait, you don't want to see naked girls?" Chouji asked in disbelief. "Are you freaking out of your mind? Dude, this is the life. We're living independently—"
"Not really, since your dad comes at least once every two weeks and drops off half a thousand bucks."
"—and it's, uh, your B-Day—"
"Chinese is sounding pretty good right now."
"—I mean, who won't pass up a chance to go to First Impressions, which by the way has a bouncer with an IQ below 50?"
"Um, dude. We're underage?"
Chouji scoffed, as if Shikamaru never even bought cigarettes from the store across the street without breaking a sweat. "We have fake IDs."
The two men stared at each other, both thinking the other is whacked out of it. After several seconds, Shikamaru plugged the charger in and connected it to his laptop. Then he turned it on and rummaged around in his backpack to look for some notes.
Chouji watched all this wide-eyed, like he was just waiting for impending doom. Somebody knocked on the door.
Shikamaru's eyes flicked over at Chouji. "Better get that." Chouji went over to the door and opened it.
"Hey, guys!" Naruto greeted. "Any plans for tonight?"
He was already checking the TV screen over Chouji's shoulder. He peered at Chouji, confused. Thursday's usually Star Trek night. Why is the presence of galactic space monster battles on the screen mysteriously missing?
"Um, yeah," Chouji said by a way of explanation. "Listen, Naruto, it's Shikamaru's birthday and—"
"Happy birthday, Shikamaru!"
"—I wanted to take him to First Impressions downtown to celebrate."
Naruto tried to remember what First Impressions was again. A vague memory involving a party gone horrendously wrong and the discovery of Sasuke's poor handling of anything alcoholic flashed in his mind. "Oh!The strip club! Right, right. That's cool; can I come?"
"Sure, but, uh, we got a problem." Chouji leaned in towards Naruto, as if to say something confidential. "Shikamaru is absolutely disgusted by the idea of having to see naked girls."
Naruto stormed past him and into Shikamaru's room. He frowned at the sight of Shikamaru typing on his laptop, and brusquely yanked the plug from the outlet. Shikamaru gawked at the blank monitor, his hazy reflection returning the same shell-shocked expression.
"What the hell, Naruto!" Shikamaru yelled, glaring at the nonchalant blonde.
"Quit the nerd act. We're gonna go see boobs," Naruto announced.
"I was working on an unsaved document, dumb-ass!" Shikamaru's voice escalated into a shriek.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Microsoft Office 2007 knows how to Auto-Recover, genius. See how our terms of endearment differ? Anyway, let's go."
"Are we taking the shitbox again?" Chouji asked, munching on some M&M's he found in the fridge.
"No, I got—hey!" Naruto cried, realizing the insult. "But we're not taking my ride. I borrowed Sasuke's."
Chouji and Shikamaru immediately doubted this. Sasuke was vehemently protective of his cherry red Ferrari convertible. He'd literally snarl at anyone who dared get within at least a ten-inch distance from the car.
"I'll go with you to the strip club," Shikamaru decided.
"YES!" Chouji and Naruto slapped high-fives.
"Under one condition." He faced Chouji. "Take down the stupid blog about everything in my life and never update it. Ever."
With the way Chouji covered his mouth in utter shock, you'd think Shikamaru just told him to massacre every single person who worked in every single Cheetos factory. Naruto mirrored the same exact horrified expression; he was apparently a huge fan of the blog.
"Real friends won't make their friends take down gossip journals!" Chouji whined.
"Yeah," Naruto added in earnest agreement. "What a friend, Shikamaru."
Shikamaru rolled his eyes, and was about to plug in his laptop again. Chouji noticed the action and hollered, "All right, all right! I'll take it down!"
Naruto sadly mumbled something about not being fair, while Shikamaru smirked in victory. Chouji sighed, defeated. He wondered if Shikamaru will find out if he put up another blog. They grabbed their wallets, cellphones, and sailed out the door.
After getting to the lobby using the elevator, they went outside to see a parked red car. It still looked new despite three years of use. Shikamaru and Chouji gulped. If Sasuke saw as much as one little scratch on it, he'll personally go on a manhunt for the idiot bastard who took his precious car. Naruto, however, was unfazed.
"Let's go, fellas!" Naruto grinned and unhesitatingly jumped onto the driver's seat.
"Hey, I don't know about this—"
A honk interrupted Shikamaru.
"Are you coming or not?
"…did you mean that as a sexual thing?"
Username: AkimichiChouji?yahoo . com
|What are you doing?|
Uchiha Sasuke: WHOEVER STOLE MY CAR, I WILL FIND YOU AND USE YOUR BLOOD AS REFILL FOR MY RED BALLPEN.
not less than 5 sec ago via iPhone
Dogshit: ?TheRealMasterChef screw dat, i'm meeting u der.
1 min ago via web
TheRealMasterChef: ?Dogshit sorry, Kiba. Maybe next time? Also, sorry for letting Naruto borrow my cell. I didn't know he'll change your username to Dogshit…XD
2 min ago via Android
Dogshit: ?TheRealMasterChef not cool, man!1! i wanted to go! ?Da Man STOP HAKING INTO MY ACOUNT AND CHANGING MY USERNAME, DUMBASS!
2 min ago via web
TheRealMasterChef: going to First Impressions with ?Da Man and ?Nara Shikamaru 8D
3 min ago via Android
Chouji squirmed as he read Sasuke's tweet.
The last time that guy ever tweeted something was when his brother got promoted at the Akatsuki Inc. as a portfolio manager the year ago. It read, "?Uchiha Itachi Congrats, ingrate." As one could observe from the five only tweets on Sasuke's homepage, he used the social network merely as a means to relay insults and post death threats.
"Hey," Chouji said. "Maybe we should give Sasuke's car back. I mean, he's really, really pissed."
Their faces basked in the orange lights as they entered a brightly lit tunnel.
"No way!" Naruto cried from the driver's seat. "This is the perfect start to a possibly beautiful evening."
Shikamaru could do nothing but let out a helpless sigh. Beside him, Naruto floored the gas pedal and whooped loudly in euphoria. He grinned at Shikamaru, who acknowledged him with a lazy nod. Shikamaru glanced at his scowling face in the side mirror. Maybe he should lean back and relax. After all, Asuma wouldn't mind if he had a little fun downtown…
Chouji encouragingly patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Shikamaru. I think he'll understand."
Shikamaru appreciated this. Only Chouji knew about his complex friendship with the old moderator of the Chess Club.
"Yo, no long faces! Seriously, it's like you're going to play golf with the principal or something!"
Reaching the end of the tunnel, the Ferrari plunged into the endless space of midnight blue.
"And where do you think you're going, young man?"
Kiba cringed as his mother descended down the stairs, all in her red nightgown, creepy green facial mask, and furry slippers glory. His hand was an inch away from the door, fingers gnarled into a claw to turn the knob.
He smiled at his mother. "Well, uh, I'm going to this…party Shino's throwing at his place."
"And why had I not been informed of this party three days earlier, like we agreed on?" Despite the gooey cream all over her face, he could almost see the lines and wrinkles forming from her frown.
Kiba cussed under his breath. He's graduating next year; don't tell him his mother is gonna be one of those moms who demand their kids in college to call every night and come home at every holiday.
"Shino wanted to…surprise us?"
"TO BED, KIBA!"
1 message received
From: Inuzuka Kiba
got grounded by the terminator fml
A/N: I feel sorry for Kiba XD R&R, please :)
? is the 'at' sign. It is beyond me as to why this website seems to be vehemently opposed to particular punctuation marks and to allowing users to cite other websites.