It's a Dangerous Game
AN – Hey everyone. I am sorry that it has taken so long but school and exams and etc you know the drill. The next chapter probably won't be up for a while, I'm sorry but for now it's the way things have to be.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
She slept for hours, which was to be expected. A lot had changed in very little time and I knew she would probably be overwhelmed by it all. I smiled as I watched her slumber, mesmerised. She spoke more than usual but seemed to be calm. My name came out a lot of times, along with passionate declarations of love that nearly made my heart start beating again. When I thought she was fully asleep I closed my eyes, letting myself lie in darkness with the warmth from her body calming me. It was a good few hours later when I felt her stir and whimper. Her voice sounded small yet it held so much emotion.
'Cold. So cold.'
I gently moved her so I could fetch her bedcovers and blankets to keep her warm. Lying naked on me couldn't have helped. Her scream gave me near-physical pain which forced me to run towards the source of the sound.
'Caius! No, Caius!'
I sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair in an attempt to calm her.
'Hush Isabella, it's alright, I'm here.'
She sat up and threw her arms around me, holding on to me with all of her strength as I rubbed her back.
'I had a nightmare, I was buried in the snow and I kept telling you that I loved you but you just looked at me and walked away and then I woke up and you weren't here!'
Still crying, her words tumbled out of her.
'The look in your eyes just before you walked away, you just, you just didn't care and you left me all alone in the snow to die... '
She broke off into more sobs and I pressed a kiss to her temple.
'Hush, it was just a dream, it's not real. Look at me.'
Her eyes met mine.
'Do these eyes look uncaring to you?'
She shook her head, smiling now before we kissed.
'Get dressed and eat something, I need to tell everyone that I will be somewhat unavailable today.'
She smiled, seeming happy at the prospect of spending all day with me which made little sense to me; I made a mental note to ask her about that later.
When I had informed everyone of my upcoming absence I hurried back to her and I was glad to smell food, not that it smelt particularly appeasing, I was just glad that she was keeping herself healthy. Marcus had obviously gone to see her as he spoke before passing me in the corridor.
'You told her didn't you? She looks so happy!'
He looked more animated than I had ever dreamed he could be; Isabella seemed to have a good effect on everyone. She came out of the kitchen and straight into my arms. I squeezed her gently before covering her face in kisses, she giggled and returned some.
'What's all this for?'
'Marcus looks more alive than he has been in years thanks to you.'
I led her back to my chambers, disliking the frown on her face.
'Did something happen to him?'
'It's not a nice story Isabella, it would upset you if I told you it in full and it would be disrespectful to edit.'
Once again we sat down by the fire, with her leaning against me, wrapped up warmly so that I couldn't make her cold. I toyed with the idea of telling her, almost as if she had a right to know but I also knew she had a right to my protection. I decided that the best thing to do would be to ask her.
'Do you truly want to know? I warn you it really is a horrible story... '
'Tell me, please?'
I pulled her further onto my lap, into my embrace.
'He was married to a lovely woman, Aro's sister, as it happens. They were very happy together. Unfortunately, she died and he was never the same again.'
I saw her expression change as tears filled her eyes.
'Oh that's so sad! Is he very lonely?'
I sighed, wiping the odd tear from her cheek with my thumb.
'Usually, he hides his emotions very well. I think... and this isn't a nice thought but I think he hides them because they're so bad that he doesn't want anyone else to see them. He likes seeing you happy so how about we focus on that, hmm?'
I hoped that she hadn't noticed my subtle changing of the subject; I knew I wouldn't have been able to find it in me to lie to her if she asked directly about the cause of her death. She had my hand loosely in hers, casually fiddling with it. She knew what was coming next and something told me she wasn't going to like it at all but I needed to know.
'Talk to me Isabella; tell me what was going through your mind as you lay there in the snow.'
Her gaze fell.
'I... I can't, I don't want to think about it. It hurts.'
'Please, Isabella I need to know. I'm right here, my love. Tell me how I can help you.'
There was a brief pause before she spoke, panic infecting her every word.
'I need you to hold my hands so I won't hurt myself.'
I wrapped my hands around hers after pressing a kiss to each wrist.
'On a scale of 1 to 10, how strong is the urge?'
'Honestly? About 4, I think I'll be alright if you stay.'
I let my head drop so I could kiss her neck, feeling her shudder in my arms.
'I'm just so overwhelmed. Ever since our first time I couldn't stop thinking about you and how you make me feel. You've become my life Caius; sometimes it feels like I can't breathe when you're not here. I... I always thought that if you knew then you wouldn't want to keep me here.'
Anger sparked by her unnecessary insecurity drove me to kiss her, letting her tongue find mine for a few blissful moments.
'And now you know of... of my love... '
I smiled when that word reached my ears.
'As you know of mine, Isabella.'
Then it was her turn to smile.
'You know I still can't believe that, it's just... you're perfect and I'm... '
I attacked her lips again, being slightly more forceful this time. I didn't realise just how forceful I was being until I heard her whimper into my mouth. I pulled away quickly.
'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... to... '
She moved my hand down and under her skirt, towards her heat. I was surprised to feel bare skin beneath my hand.
'Are you allergic to underwear?'
She giggled but I soon discovered the reason why she had brought my hand here. Her whimper had been from arousal; I could smell it now as well as feel her wetness on my hand.
'So beniamino, are unbelieving of my love or your own perfection?'
I moved my fingers ever so slightly and heard her draw in a large breath.
'I... I know you would never lie to me but I can't... I can't be perfect.'
I dragged my finger up to her clit, watching her close her eyes and throw her head back. I put a tiny, tiny bit of the anger that I felt into my voice.
'Listen to me, I am your Maestro. If I say you are perfect, then you are.'
She tried to speak but her voice transformed into a moan under the pleasure of my fingers. I continued for a few moments more before stopping.
'I'm... I'm perfect in your eyes.'
'That's as good as it's going to get right now isn't it?'
'Go to the bed beniamino, I want to make love to you.'
A rich blush graced her cheeks before she rushed to the bed. I followed her a little more slowly so that she could watch me unbutton and remove my shirt with those eager eyes of hers. I wanted to be shirtless, that way she wouldn't feel quite so exposed. I heard her heart rate soar as I slid her skirt up to her waist and let my eyes fall onto her most intimate part. I smirked before lowering my mouth to it, inhaling her sweet scent. Carefully slipping a hand down to pleasure myself, I expertly dragged my tongue over her hot flesh. I let her come quickly this time, having to listen to her scream out my name before I could rest my cheek against her silky thigh. Quietly, she pushed herself up onto her elbows so she could watch me reach my own climax. She moved towards the end of bed when I finished so she could feverishly press her lips to mine. I dragged my tongue against hers and groaned, the sound coming from deep within my chest as she gripped the back of my neck, keeping me close to her. When she had to pull away in order to breathe I took the opportunity to remove the last of our clothes. I had to be inside her now; if she knew a fraction of my love then I knew I could make her truly happy. I thrust into her, our bodies joining, united in this joyously carnal act. When I met Isabella I was not a virgin by any means, I had indulged my desires with anyone who was willing ('willing' being the operative word of that sentence, I could never force anyone into these kinds of relations; they're too personal to be enjoyed without mutual consent). When my bloodthirsty newborn years had passed, and they had been lengthy which is now unsurprising considering my temperament, I'd had a string of mistresses with whom I had shared a mutual desire for sex and nothing more. That stopped when I married, to a woman who can only be described as an absolute bitch. We never said our vows. That marriage, mainly consisting of greed and convenience, was consummated once and part of me believes that was purely to uphold a tradition. It lasted for 750 years. For the first 400 of these years, other than the initial consummation, I remained abstinent; despite the lack of actual genuine vows in our wedding ceremony I had a semblance of devotion to her. I wish that she had felt vaguely the same. Less than a year into our marriage she found herself another man with whom she could have all the sex she could possibly want. The worst part was that I tried so hard to make time for her, to make the shattered relationship work but it ended up as a pitiful joke. I lived in a lie for those 400 years, knowing full well that she just didn't care. On the 401st year I broke, and indulged in glorious adultery. We stood like strangers right up until the inevitable divorce, having many different lovers for the purpose of our gratification. Sex was never about love for me. That was, until, I met Isabella. Yes, our sex was passionate and feral but instead of nothingness love's flame burned underneath it all, strong and true. She moaned beneath me, her back arching up as my hands caressed the sides of her waist, guiding her to meet each sensual rock of my hips. I rejoiced in the fact that I knew exactly how to please her now and this knowledge I could use to my advantage. I sensed how close she was and articulated the most hypnotic tone I could muster considering that I was desperately holding back my own climax, wanting to come with her.
'Let go beniamino, now.'
She obeyed me beautifully, her obedient action granting me permission to finish also. There's nothing more calming to me than listening to her heart and breathing rate slow down, seeing that hazy smile and losing myself in the bliss that swam in her eyes.
'I love you.'
'I love you too.'
We lay together, warm and safe underneath the covers. I studied her face, happiness turning to worry when her glimmering eyes overflowed with tears.
'Please tell me you're crying because you're happy.'
She sat up, taking a deep breath and pushing her hair out of her face. I anxiously followed suit. She kept going to say something but frustratingly she couldn't make any sound come out. I lifted my hand to the side of her face and softly moved my thumb across her temple.
'Caius, I... you know I'll never hurt myself again, right?'
I have to admit her sudden statement surprised me. I had no doubt that she would try to stop with all the self-destructive behaviour but I had thought that I would have to wean her off it slowly; I wasn't expecting her to stop all together, just like that.
'I just... I realise how much it would upset me if someone who I... who I loved was hurting themselves and I never want to upset you.'
Towards the end of her sentence her gaze travelled downwards until her chin was close to her chest. I kissed her forehead.
'Isabella... I am so proud of you.'
'I should probably get some lunch.'
We both beamed at each other, knowing how far she had come with that particular issue. I watched her get some food together, humming softly as she worked. I didn't mind that fact that the bottle of Jack Daniels was coming out in the middle of the day even though my logical mind knew that I should be watching how much alcohol she had.
'You don't mind, do you?'
She gestured to the bottle.
'As long as you're careful then no, I'm not too bothered.'
She nodded and poured herself some. Curiosity overcame me as I watched her drink.
'Could I possibly try some? I'm curious.'
She passed me the glass and I tentatively took a sip. It was stronger than I expected. My facial reaction must have been funny as she burst into a fit of giggles.
'It does taste a little bit like you... but I think I'll leave it.'
Still smiling, she ate her lunch. We made some random small talk, laughed together, shared little details about ourselves that we'd never thought about sharing before. She told me of her parents, her childhood home in Phoenix.
'I had always thought you had an element of that strong Arizonian woman inside you. So, when you went to live with your father, was that the first time you'd been to Forks?'
'Oh, no, I visited him there in the summer sometimes, their divorce made things... complicated. Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if they had stayed together, I probably would have never met Edward, thus I never would have met you. So I guess it's not all bad.'
'I can imagine. There were complications when I divorced... ah.'
My guilty noise made her head snap up. I saw the smile slip from her face before she spoke.
'So you've been married?'
'Did you love her?'
'I thought I did.'
Despite myself I liked her abruptness. To be fair, she deserved to know considering the new developments in our relationship.
'I'm sorry; it's not really any of my business is it?'
'No, no Isabella it is your business. Do you want the details?'
After a moment of swift deliberation she nodded.
'I'll start from the beginning... '
So I told her everything and spared her no minuscule detail of the marriage that made me the man I was when she first met me. It took me longer to explain than I expected it to, especially when I told her of my adultery, probably because I found myself exploring emotions that I'd never dared to touch upon before. I discovered that I'd spent that entire marriage letting that godforsaken woman make me feel... small, insignificant and cowardly. I refused to confront her on the grounds that I shouldn't need to; she was my wife so she should live with me as her husband and lover. I could never win with her. Everything I did and said was wrong in her eyes and no matter how hard I tried she always found a way to treat me like I was nothing. Eventually I reached the end of my awful story. She sighed.
'From what you've told me... I think that relationship, it... it was abusive. She abused your trust, your faith in your marriage. You made a commitment to her and she knew and she took advantage of that.'
My rational thoughts dried up until all that was left was blind, dry contempt. In the next moment I was on top of her, overpowering her easily.
'I am not weak!'
To her credit, she remained partially calm.
'I know, I was just saying that she... '
'I heard what you said!'
It took my longer than it should have to properly process her words and then to understand them.
'She made me angry.'
And that's simply all there was to it. I'd always been an easily irritable man but before marrying her I definitely wasn't the angry man who I'm known as today. I carefully got off my sweet Isabella, being certain that I hadn't hurt her.
'I'm sorry for overreacting. Are you alright?'
'Yes and don't you dare apologise. I'm guessing you haven't really spoken about that before?'
I shook my head.
'You went through a tough time, for an incredibly long time as well. You were betrayed by someone that you trusted and you got hurt. You have every right to be angry.'
She gave me a minute of joy from the familiarity of the feeling of her lips against mine.
'I'm glad you told me. I really appreciate that you trusted me enough to share that with me, it means a lot.'
We spent the rest of the day talking about ourselves: every flaw, every joy, every tear shed, and every regret we'd ever had. I told her the story of the first man I'd ever killed, something that had always stayed with me. I knew she didn't like the killing, I could see it in her eyes, but she handled it with maturity. She understood the way that some things just had to be. No secrets. Our new agreement to have complete honesty and trust with each other made me feel closer to her than I have been with anyone.
'Isabella, there's probably another thing I should tell you about the death of Marcus' wife.'
'What is it?'
'She was murdered by Aro.'
AN – So let me know what you guys thought! Just to avoid confusion, sometime in the near future my username will change to TheAngelsWept so it's the same as my tumblr. Next chapter might not be up for ages, I'm busy with homework and exams although I am seeing Les Misérables soon (with Ramin Karimloo and Hadley Fraser, my heroes xD)
Reviews are much appreciated x)