Summary: Set after New Moon, Bella goes to the carnival at La Push to speak to Jake. While there, she makes a wish to become a vampire without breaking the treaty. The next morning Bella wakes up to find her wish is granted and is forced to face the consequences that come with getting what she wanted.
Disclaimer: This story is rated M for a reason, if you can't buy a pack of cigs then you shouldn't be reading this. All publicly recognized character, settings and scenarios are the property of their respective owners, Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer and Big is the property of 20th Century Fox.

A/N: This story was originally an idea I had around the 80's movie contest, but never finished it, so when this compilation came around it seemed like the perfect place to share it. Thank you to Aylah50 and coldplaywhore for organizing this event, I know how much work and time went into it. A lot of love to Iwant2sparkle for telling me to stick with this fic and all my WC ladies for helping me make this what it needed to be. Mizzdee, you worked your magic on this fic, and Rosalynn for her beautiful banner. Lastly, a huge hug to everyone who purchased this compilation, your contribution will do great things. I hope you enjoy~

BPOV

"Edward, you're being unreasonable." I stomped my foot for good measure, but it didn't register with him.

"Bella, the wolves are dangerous and I won't risk something happening to you, I only just got you back." The pain in his voice as he spoke about leaving me last fall, even in passing was hard to hear. I'd forgiven him, but he still hadn't forgiven himself.

"Edward, it was you making decisions for me that got us into the mess that the past eight months have been. I'm not allowed to talk about my transformation with you, I'm not allowed to mention Jake, what am I allowed to discuss without you going all caveman on me?"

"If you want to be changed we can have that discussion at any time, all you have to do is agree to marry me. And as for Jacob, I will always be grateful to him for what he did for you while I wasn't here. But the fact remains that he's not someone I want you hanging around."

He walked towards me, but I simply stepped back. "Charlie's going to be home soon and I think it would be better if you weren't here. He wants me to go to the carnival at La Push tonight and I'm going to go with him."

"Bella, please, I can't keep you safe there."

"Then you'll just have to trust me to take care of myself." I pleaded with him to have faith in me.

"How can I when you keep making bad choices!"

The anger in his voice was well hidden, but I knew it was there as he spoke down to me and I lost it. "The entire town will be there, so don't worry about it, what you should worry about is what you're going to do from midnight to 8am."

Edward's face twisted in confusion as I opened the front door. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm closing my window tonight."

I knew I was being a little petulant, going to La Push and then not letting him see that I had returned home okay, but I was a little too mad to care. "I love you." He spoke the words into my hair and then kissed the top of my head on the way out the front door.

I closed the door behind him and went upstairs to get ready. Charlie came home a little while later and changed out of his uniform before we headed down to the Rez.

Getting out of the car, I saw Angela and Ben so I decided to run off with them before Charlie lectured me on needing to spend time with people who weren't Edward and Alice. Angela gave me a hug as I walked up and both asked where Edward was, so I told them he was in the doghouse with Esme and had to help her out tonight.

We walked around, looking at the different stands where Native American jewelry and items were being sold and headed towards the rides. We went on a few of the rides, but as soon as we got on the Gravatron and it started up, I missed Edward. Feeling pressed against the wall because of the speed we were moving with the air whipping us as we spun reminded me of running through the trees on Edward's back and I suddenly wished I hadn't sent him away like that, because I would miss him tonight.

Saying my good-byes to Ang and Ben, I wandered around until I found Billy trying to push himself through the mud. "Did that son of yours ditch you here?" I asked as he laughed at me.

"Bella! No, he's here somewhere, I was just looking for your father."

"Check by the water gun game, you know he likes to show exactly why he's the Chief." Another chuckle brought us back over to where the games were. "How's Jake?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Billy said without any tone, simply questioning me for not being direct.

"Your son isn't talking to me, remember? I'm lucky he hasn't already added me to the list of people banished from the Rez."

Billy stopped the chair and grabbed my hand, pulling me around to face him. "Bella, we don't understand your choice, and if I'm being honest, I don't think you do either. Do you honestly realize what you're giving up to be with Cullen? Because if I thought for a second that you truly knew what you were asking for, I'd talk with Sam on your behalf, but I don't think you can see all the consequences at your age."

"I know what I can't live without, Billy. I'm sorry if you're disappointed."

"Bella?" We both looked up to see Jake walking over to us.

"You go; I can make it to Charlie from here." Billy gestured to where Charlie was standing by the water gun race and I smiled, looking at Jake for the first time in weeks.

"You're speaking to me now?"

Jake shook his head and offered me his hand. "Don't be like that; I want to talk to you."

Jake and I walked along the path that led closer to the woods and he started the conversation. "I'm surprised he let you out."

"My dad wanted me to see my other friends again and since some of them wouldn't return my phone calls…"

"Charlie isn't who I meant. And there's no reason to call if there's nothing to say." His tone was clipped and I pulled away from him.

"Don't start this, or I'm going back up to the carnival."

"Bella, I don't get it. We had something while the leech was gone and he shows back up and you throw me to the side again? I'm so much better for you; you wouldn't have to change for me."

"Jake don't, I love him." I could see him getting angry and I didn't want to risk him phasing, so I didn't say anything else.

"But you love me too!"

"Not like that. Please Jake, I don't have that much longer and I don't want the last time we talk to be like this."

"What do you mean 'I don't have much longer,' you make it sound like you've picked the day?"

"Not exactly, but Carlisle is going to change me after Graduation."

Jake shivered, and I knew it wasn't the cold that caused it, so I took a step back. "Why are you rushing this? If they change you, it'll be a war and I won't stop my brothers from hunting you while I dismantle him."

"Jake, you can't. I love him…we'll move away before I'm changed."

"That doesn't matter…there's no boundary when it comes to that, we'll know from Charlie when it happens and we'll be after them."

"You'd rather see me dead than as a vampire?" I asked, knowing that the tears were threatening to fall.

"If you're one of them, then you'll already be dead to me." The hate dripping from his voice sent me over the edge and I ran off crying, yelling for Jake to stay away.

I continued to run until I came up to an old, knotted tree in the darkness. The lights of the carnival were lighting up in the distance, but as I sat there crying, I couldn't care. "I wish I could become like Edward without breaking the treaty," I cried into the night.

After crying for a while, I heard a twig snap behind me and I stood to see Emily walking closer. "Bella?"

"Hi." I wiped the tears with my hand and she frowned at me.

"Come with me, we'll get you cleaned up before you go and find Charlie."

I nodded and followed her to their house where I washed my face and fixed my appearance before we walked back to the area I'd left Charlie off at.

"You ready to go Bells, I've gotta work tonight?"

I nodded and said a quick good-bye to Emily and Billy before Charlie and I headed to the cruiser.

"Bella, are you okay?"

I sighed; of course he was going to be perceptive tonight. "I got in a fight with Jake."

Charlie nodded, but didn't say anything for the rest of the ride home. When we got there, Charlie was home long enough to change and grab a sandwich and then he was back out the door while I got ready for bed.

~RATLOZ~

The light hit the full-length mirror on my closet door, keeping me awake at this point as I rolled over and stretched in my bed. It felt strange, not having Edward behind me when I woke up and I was going to invite him over as soon as I was ready if he didn't show up before then.

Getting into the shower, I washed myself quickly and then got out to get dressed and do my hair. Wiping the fog from the mirror, I screamed at my reflection. Reaching down to pinch myself, I noticed the change in me even more. My once alabaster skin was now the pale, diamond dusted skin of a vampire. I looked back up and saw that my hair was fuller and most importantly, my eyes were a bright, blood red. I stood there, staring at my reflection until the knocking came.

"Bella! Love, what's wrong?" I was frozen in front of the mirror and couldn't even remember how to respond. "I heard you scream, is everything all right? Bella, I know you're mad at me, but I need to see that you're okay."

I shook my head and then grabbed the towel off the toilet seat and wrapped it around myself before unlocking the door. Edward flew in and stopped as soon as he saw me, crouching down into his predatory stance. He tensed and then stood up again almost too fast for me to process, although I saw every move he made. "Bella?"

"Edward, I don't know what happened. I was fine when I went to sleep last night, but I woke up this morning and I was changed…I don't understand."

"Shh. We'll figure this out. You get dressed and then we'll go to the house and talk to Carlisle about it."

I walked to the bedroom and Edward waited outside while I threw on my clothes and then we walked out the front door. Edward rushed me at a humans pace out to the car and then started down the road on the way to his house. "How did you know something was wrong?" I heard the sound of my own voice and was startled by the melodic quality of it.

"After I left last night, I went home and paced the living room, completely uneasy about being away from you for the night. Alice sat there and tried to comfort me, telling me that I'd know the moment you were safe at home. But she never saw it. Then this morning she gasped but wouldn't let me see what she saw, all Alice said was that I had to get over here right away. Did you see anyone? Did Victoria do this to you?"

I shook my head and took in an unnecessary breath. "No, the only thing that happened was I got in a fight with Jake, he told me he'd rather see me dead than as a vampire and that if I was turned he'd let the pack kill me."

Edward stiffened beside me as he turned down the drive. "The treaty wasn't broken, so he can't touch you…I'm sorry that he hurt your feelings though. Believe me when I say that I'd make him a three-legged dog for that remark if I could."

We pulled in front of the house and my door was opened immediately by Esme, who pulled me to her and then led me inside. "Bella, dear, Carlisle wants to look you over for any bite marks, he wants a clear idea of how this happened."

Looking around, I was already on the second floor. Carlisle was waiting in his office, which held medical equipment at the moment, and as I entered he smiled and closed the door.

"Bella, I know this might make you uneasy, but I have to look you over."

I nodded and started stripping off my clothes. As I did, Carlisle studied my skin with his piercing eyes, searching for a mark that wasn't there. When he finished, he told me to get dressed and then we'd talk as a family. Esme walked upstairs and into the room as Carlisle stiffened slightly. "Bella, I need you to stay up here. I know it's going to be difficult, but it's for the best."

"What is it, Carlisle?" I stepped towards him and he frowned.

"Charlie."

Esme locked the door behind him and asked me to stay calm, begged me not to use my newborn strength to overpower her in my desire to get to Charlie, but I just shrugged. "He can't see me like this; I'm never even going to say good-bye."

From downstairs the yelling started, Charlie's grumbles echoing off the walls and up to us where my new vampiric hearing allowed the conversation to easily flow to me.

"I know she's with him! I'm not letting him run off with my daughter again!" Charlie boomed as I heard Carlisle clear the stairs.

"Please Charlie; I need to ask you to lower your voice. My wife, Esme, isn't feeling well."

"I'm sorry Carlisle, but your son, Edward, has run off with my Bella and I demand that you speak to him about bringing her back."

I could hear two sets of feet enter the living room as Carlisle spoke again. "Charlie, my son has been home all morning. Bella went to the carnival last night so she was supposed to call him today about getting together, but she hasn't phoned yet."

"Bella's not home? Did you talk to Jacob?" Edward asked and I sighed, which caused Esme to stroke my arm.

"What is it dear?"

I took in another breath and whispered as Charlie continued talking about how he had spoken to all of my friends about what had happened to me and how no one knew where I was. "He won't look at me, Esme. From the moment he saw me this morning, he has kept his eyes off what I've become. I used to think that he was afraid of having me around forever, but he dismissed it so easily…it makes me wonder if I was right."

"Sweetheart, I know my son. Edward never wanted this for you, but it has nothing to do with him not loving you, believe me."

The conversation downstairs turned frantic as Charlie realized that I hadn't run away with my boyfriend. The men, with the exception of Edward, who was staying here in case I showed up, were going with Charlie to get a search team together, while the girls were going to call more people and then drive around and see if they could find me. Charlie was calling the Rez, getting the pack to meet up to help with the search as Billy was being dropped off at my house in case I came back on my own. The night I was lost in the woods last fall caused Charlie to react more frightened when it came to this disappearance. As everyone made their way outside, Esme unlocked the door as Edward came up to the office.

The door opened and his expression was unreadable. "We need to do some tests quick at Carlisle's request, but then we will talk." He took a few steps from me and then squared his shoulders. "I need to test your strength, speed and your mind. Then we can take care of your thirst."

I nodded and he held out his hands. I walked forward and took them, lacing our fingers as he started to push against them. I pushed back and it felt like pushing a wall, he wasn't able to push me forward, but I couldn't move him either. His brow furrowed as I wondered if I was indeed a vampire, after all, I had no bite and no newborn strength…if I hadn't looked like one, I'd think no one would have noticed a difference.

"Bella, did you hear me?"

"Huh?"

"I just asked you to follow me out to the living room, but you didn't move." I turned to where he stood by the door and shrugged.

"No, I was just thinking about how it doesn't seem like I'm a newborn, I was too absorbed to hear you."

"Does your mind feel…different, like more open? As if you had more space to think about more things." He stepped towards me as I shook my head.

"No. It feels crowded, like I have more to think about, but not enough space, like my mind didn't expand like you said a vampire's did when they changed."

"Okay, let's test your speed, Esme, go guard the door." Esme smiled and then ran downstairs. "Bella, I want you to run down the stairs and back to me as fast as you can."

I nodded and then took off. I flew down the hall and to the bottom of the stairs and then back to Edward in a second or two. He frowned even more after my return and I couldn't help but feel sad at his disappointment with me. I wasn't the vampire that he could have made me…once again I didn't fit in.

"Edward, would you like to go hunting?" I turned to see Esme in the doorway, her expression concerned.

"I don't think she should go out with Charlie looking for her, would you mind giving us some time alone."

"Sure, I'll bring her back something and then go for a hunt myself."

Edward nodded and then took my hand, leading me to the couch in the corner of the room.

"Bella, I want to talk to you about what you said earlier…to Esme."

I felt my eyes prick up, but no tears came…this was it, he was going to tell me that I wasn't his Bella anymore and that I wasn't a real vampire either…that he couldn't be with me. I was going to lose him all over again. "Bella, love, what's wrong? Please, I still can't read your mind so you have to tell me what's upsetting you."

"You're leaving me." I whispered as he pulled me into his lap and crushed me to his chest.

"NEVER!" He almost roared before calming himself. "Bella, I barely survived the first time and I could never survive it again." His hands claimed my face as he stared deeply into my eyes. "You are my entire world. Last night was hell for me, not knowing what had happened, so to arrive at your house and see you…I thought you were a threat. It never entered my mind that I was staring at the love of my life. Then when I realized what you'd become…I was crushed, but only because I thought I hadn't been there to protect you. I always wanted you to stay human because I didn't want to take your life, but I'd reconciled myself to it because I realized it was what you wanted more than anything, I got to be selfish, because I was giving you your wish. When I thought about changing you, I was going to help you say good-bye to everything and everyone you had to and then I was going to hold your hand through the transformation…you weren't ever going to be alone for it."

"But Edward, I slept through it. I went to sleep human and woke up a vampire…there wasn't any pain."

"There's something unnatural about this, even more than usual. You're like a mature vampire with decades of control, you didn't even fight to get to Charlie when he was in the house. And your mind…it didn't expand with the physical changes. What happened last night?"

"I was at the carnival, having fun with Angela and Ben and then I saw Billy. We got to talking and Jake walked over and we started talking once Billy went to hang out with my dad. It was really heated, and I told him that I wanted to leave on a good note because I might not see him again. That's when the graduation plan came out and he told me that they'd hunt us down and that he'd kill you while his brothers took care of me. He started getting really upset so I told him to leave me alone and ran off crying. Emily found me by a tree near her house and let me get cleaned up before I found Charlie and went home with him. After that I fell asleep and woke up like this."

"Did you cut yourself, or get hurt in any way?" Edward's eyes were searching mine but I simply shook my head. He leaned in and began to kiss me when he groaned and I caught scent of the blood. "Here's your lunch."

He laughed as we walked downstairs hand in hand to where Esme had left my lunch, a pair of does, on the back porch. I knelt down and drank the first dry quickly, feeling a sense of calm wash over me as I finished and moved to the second. Once I was satisfied, I looked up at Edward and he led me to the third floor and his room. He climbed up onto the couch and pulled me down on him so that I was straddling his lap. He cupped my face and smiled at me mischievously. "Now where were we earlier?"

Edward's lips touched mine and he was instantly holding onto my hip with one hand as his other cupped my neck. I could feel his tongue trace my lips, something he'd never done before, and I gasped, allowing him the access he needed. This kiss was brand new, it was needy and passionate and I couldn't get enough. Holding him even closer, I explored his mouth and held him even closer as I moved over him, earning a groan from Edward. "Bella…I've wanted this for so long. I wasn't sure if I could make it to graduation, I might have given in sooner if you'd asked again."

As soon as the words left his mouth I froze, something Edward didn't miss. "I won't get to graduate." The weight of everything I wouldn't get to do, the good-byes I wouldn't get to say, it overwhelmed me.

"I'm sorry, love. Here I am telling you how happy I am that I have you like this now, and you're realizing everything this change has cost you. Come here."

I laid my head on his chest as he hummed to me, calling Alice about getting a bed for us and then returning his attention back on me. We sat there while he let me talk out everything I would miss…knowing that my mom would soon be flying out when Charlie called her and knowing I couldn't call or see her. I watched as Edward took a call from Charlie and played the distressed and worried boyfriend until there was another call. I didn't have to be a vampire to hear Sam's voice as he asked for all of us to meet the pack on the treaty line at midnight.

Edward and I stayed in our little cocoon until the sound of his family arriving pulled us from our reverie. Walking down the stairs the entire family looked exhausted, something I'd never seen before. "We have to find out just how permanent this change is, because if it is forever we're going to have to fake your death in some way. Charlie can't be left to wander around like that never knowing."

I stiffened at Carlisle's words and felt Edward's hand clamp down on my shoulder. Alice grumbled before flopping down on the couch. "What time is the meeting with the wolves?"

The rest of the family looked between her and Edward as he answered. "Midnight, and Sam insisted that Bella come."

"Since when do we do what the mutts say?" Rosalie scoffed but Carlisle soon answered.

"Jacob and Emily saw Bella yesterday, so if they see her now they'll know that it is something other than our venom that caused this. If we wait it could mean all-out war between us and the tribe."

"Let me go alone…I can talk to them without there being a ton of drama…I love you all, but it will make it worse."

"NO! You're not going anywhere near them without me by your side. Besides, they want all of us there and if we go any other way they'll become suspicious. Charlie needs our help too, I think we should focus on him for right now…they've got the search team out there and he has to be exhausted."

"When the Sheriff from Mason County arrived to help, he sent Charlie home and told him to wait in case someone called or Bella came home. Your mom's on her way in, Bella. Her and Phil should be here tomorrow afternoon." Esme finished with a sad smile and Edward sighed, kissing me on the temple.

"Love, stay here with everyone, I'm going to visit Charlie."

"Edward-" I clung to him as he tried to step away, but he smiled and cupped my cheek.

"I'll be back before the meeting, I want to talk to him and see how he is, I'll be able to learn quicker how he's truly coping."

I nodded, knowing it had to happen, but with the wolves alert to the things that had occurred in the last 24 hours, I didn't like him going alone. Soon, we all sat in the living room, unable to watch TV as my face was now plastered on the news.

When the silence became too much, I went up to Edward's room and curled up on the couch. I could hear the movement downstairs as everyone began discussing possible theories for what happened to me. This was something we couldn't explain and it seemed that no one knew how to act around me at the moment. I don't know long I was up there before Alice knocked on the door. "Hey, can we come in?"

"Sure." I answered; surprised that she was being so cautious, but then I saw the reason. Emmett and Jasper came in with the pieces to a black wrought iron bed, while Esme and Carlisle followed them with the king-sized mattress. The bed was together in seconds and Alice was dressing it in gold sheets and a fluffy comforter. The irony of them getting me a bed on the day I was no longer able to sleep wasn't lost on me and I couldn't stop myself.

The laughter started softly, but it grew into full-on hysterics as everyone watched me with concerned eyes until the words finally came spilling out of my mouth. "You bought me a bed now?"

As soon as they realized what I was getting at, they all joined in. Eventually everyone went back to their own activities until it was only Alice and I left in the room. "What do you think they're talking about?"

"I know what they're talking about. Edward's reassuring your dad, trying to calm him down and he's also preparing him for what happens if you change back…he wants you to be changed the regular way, he's afraid that the things that are different, like your mind, are a result of not having enough time to change. I think he's starting to realize the importance of your change for the both of you. He's telling Charlie how much he loves you and that when you come home safe and sound and are in the right frame of mind that he's going to propose. And Charlie's going to give Edward his blessing. When you change back, we're all going to make sure that you leave them with the best memories and that includes a wedding."

"You can see me as a human again?" I asked, astonished she hadn't said anything sooner.

"No, but I have faith, we just have to find what did this to you. I'm going to let you relax; you've had a rough day."

After the door closed I laid there for a long time, trying to remember back to the night before and what could have caused it. I felt him, rather than heard his entrance into his room, but waited for his arms to wrap around me before I turned into his chest. "I never want to have to talk about you that way again. Even knowing you were safe at home, I hated pretending that someone had taken you away…I will never let that happen."

"I know. And we'll figure this out. I'll get my good-byes and you'll get to make me yours."

No sooner had the words left my mouth, than Edward's lips were on mine. Our bodies molded together as our tongues fought each other, exploring the other with new fervor.

After we broke apart, Edward simply held me until it was time to meet the wolves. We ran as a family through the woods and as we approached the treaty line everyone slowed, waiting for the appearance of the wolves.

I smelled them and heard them before I saw them, but that didn't last too long as they walked through the trees in wolf form, with the exception of Jake who was in his human form, for the moment at least. "So it's true? You worthless bloodsucker, I'll kill you!"

Jake was screaming as a smaller sandy colored wolf along with Jared pushed him back as he shook. "Jacob, it isn't what it looks like-"

"Bullshit! You broke the treaty!"

"Jacob." Carlisle spoke up stepping between Edward and I and Jake. "You know, as well as your tribe, that our change takes three days and you saw Bella last night. Did she appear to be going through a major and painful change when you spoke to her?" Jake shook his head, allowing Carlisle to continue for the moment. "Something happened between her leaving the house with Charlie last night and her waking up like this today."

"Are you blaming us?" Jake started shaking again and I held onto Edward's arm a little tighter.

"There is no blame at the moment, we just want to know what caused it so we can reverse it." Edward spoke and Jake froze.

"What's the matter, leech, finally got what you wanted and realized how wrong it was?" Edward stiffened under my grasp as he growled.

"The speed of the change meant that certain things that happen normally didn't in Bella's case, I still want her with me, but not in a diminished capacity. I want her to fully experience this life she's chosen." There was an eerie silence as Edward turned towards Sam. "Thank you, we need you to look for anything that might have happened at the fair, people who were noticed as being weird or something that would be seen as off. Also, Bella was alone briefly until Emily found her, ask her if she saw or heard anything that might help. If it was something at the Rez, we can't help you, but the majority of the town was there and we need to keep this from spreading, for all of our sakes."

I shivered at the memory of the Volturi and the havoc they could cause if they were to come look into the specifics of my change.

"We'll keep in touch with you during the search. But what are you going to do about Charlie?"

"Right now, he's convinced she was kidnapped, so we're playing into that assumption. If Bella can't be changed back, we'll have to fake her death so her parents at least have closure. But if we can change her back, I'm going to marry her so that way they know she's taken care of and won't worry when they hear from her less. Making sure Bella's family is in the best place before she becomes one of us has always been something we've been concerned with."

Jake cowered for an unknown reason and Sam nodded, or at least I think he did, before they backed into the woods. "What was that?" I looked up at Edward, knowing he was the only one who would know what that little exchange was.

"Sam had made an alpha command before they arrived here and Jake was about to go against it…the weight of the alpha command is crippling."

"Can we just go home?" I was still holding onto Edward with all my might and he turned me to face him, nodding as he kissed my forehead.

"Of course."

We ran home as a family, but no one spoke. It had reached the point where there was nothing left to say until it was figured out because my emotions were all over the place. Edward brought me upstairs and held me while I sobbed tearlessly, the entire time he rubbed my back and hummed my lullaby.

When I finally recovered, I decided I had to really talk to him about everything I'd realized today.

"Edward, do you hope we can't change me back?"

He looked at me with sad eyes as he shook his head. "No. I want to be what makes you a vampire. I want it to be my venom and my will that binds you to me. And I want you to have those last experiences, including seeing you walk towards me in a white dress." He smirked and I kissed his pouty lips.

"Do you think we should get out of here for a while? That way I can hunt without running into Charlie."

"Maybe in a while, if you haven't changed back. I still have to go to school, we have six weeks until graduation after all. But if you're still a vampire, then I'll make it out like I couldn't be around all the memories and head off to take summer classes or something. By that point we'll have-"

"Faked my death." I knew he didn't want to speak the words but they had to be put out there.

"Yeah."

I hated the pained expression on his face and knew I had to change it. "Edward, give me a few minutes, I just want to ask Alice something."

I ran out of the room and Alice was already dragging Jasper downstairs. "It's in my bathroom."

Smiling, I went in and saw the cotton dress that would hit mid-thigh along with the boyshorts and bra in a matching midnight blue. Changing into the conservative lingerie by Alice standards, I walked back to Edward's room and opened the door to see him still lying in his jeans and shirt so I walked to the foot of the bed. "Bella?"

Edward's eyes were tracing every line of my gown and I smiled as the corner of his mouth perked up. "Alice dragged everyone out of the house and I was thinking…we don't know how long I'll be like this, or how long we'll have to wait until we can redo my transformation so this may be the only chance we get for a while."

Edward took an unnecessary breath and then stood up, pulling me to him. "How do you want to do this?"

I smiled at the innuendo he'd accidentally thrown in there and reached for his shirt. "I think this has to go." I unbuttoned it from the top down and then pushed it off his shoulders and onto the floor. "And these." I tugged on his jeans and he undid them for me, sliding them down his toned legs before letting me take in the sight of him. His chest and abs were perfection and I ran my hands over the muscles and watched them dance under my hand I took in the similarity between us.

"I think there is an unfair discrepancy in levels of disrobement." Edward playfully mused as his fingers traced along the hem of my nightgown.

"Well then, you better even things up. I wouldn't want to be unfair to you." I smirked at the banter between us as his hands circled around to the back of the dress.

"How fond are you of this?" He tugged lightly on the fabric so I'd know what he meant.

"Not at all." The words had just left my mouth as I heard the tearing and felt the fabric fall away from my body.

Edward's groan as his eyes traced my newly exposed body sent a shiver of desire through me, after all this time; it was finally going to happen. His hands were running along my torso, playing with the edges of my undergarments with each pass, his nose nestled in my neck as his tongue traced my throat. "Bella, so many things I want to do to you…so many things I thought would be put off until marriage and your transformation, but I know now that I can't wait. Not when you're in my arms now."

"Don't wait, Edward. I need you. I've always needed you."

A strangled moan escaped his chest and I was on the bed, his legs between mine as he kissed me. His tongue was insistent against mine as I heard more fabric tearing and then felt Edward's erection against me, mere inches from where I needed him most as the last scrap of fabric between us, my bra, was tossed against the wall. His hands cupped my breasts as he rocked against me until the tip slipped against my entrance and we both froze.

"I love you, Bella," he whispers as he pushes inside of me, stopping only when we are fully joined.

"Eddwarddd," the moan is shameful in its volume, but all it does is push him further as he pulls out nearly all the way and then pushes back in.

There is nothing gentle about this, because there is no need. We are of equal strength and our desire requires more force than my human body could have coped with. As Edward pounds into me, his thrusts demanding and consuming, I register a cracking sound, but don't care what is causing it. All I can do is focus on the sensations around us.

Edward's lips leave mine and trail down my neck and chest until he latches onto my nipple and uses his tongue to flick it, his speed driving me into a frenzy as I buck up into him, needing more of him. The cracking is joined by an odd creaking sound, which is soon followed by an keening that ends with a crack as the head of the bed drops, leaving us on an angle that only seems to please Edward more.

There are no words spoken as we put all of our attention into our bodies, into each other and as I feel myself growing close to an ecstasy that only Edward could drive me to, my hand reached between us and I began to stroke myself. Edward's eyes were fixed on my movements, on our bodies sliding together and I felt the twitch before his thrusts stuttered, pushing me over an edge that put Everest to shame as he followed after me, his teeth sinking into my shoulder.

An errant thought crossed my mind and I broke out into a fit of giggles, which left Edward eyeing me suspiciously. "Care to let me in on the joke?"

"It's not really a joke. I was just thinking that had to be the best mutual loss of virginity in the history of the world."

That comment caused him to laugh, doing amazing things to our joined bodies until he looked up. "Esme is going to kill us."

"Why would she—oh my god!" I turned mid-sentence to see the bed-sized hole that broke through into the bathroom and the damage we'd done to the bed frame, which was snapped off. Edward and I got up to see the gouges in the hardwood and scratches on the tile, but what he did next was unexpected.

Edward tackled me to the bed and climbed behind me, his manhood already hard against my ass. "Bella, I've spent the last ninety years hearing every fantasy and sex dream of everyone around me, mind if we try out a few that intrigued me?"

How in the world do you respond to that? Luckily the smile that lit up my face was answer enough. The rest of the night and a good part of the following day was spent exploring those things that had intrigued my Edward. We'd alternated between making love and fucking, my favorite by far being when he took me from behind on the broken bed. The slope of the bed and having to grip the mattress to keep from falling back into him making it that much better.

When we emerged, the mattress leaning against the wall and the pieces of the broken bed sitting in a pile outside the large open window of Edward's room, we arrived in the living room only to laugh at Alice. Sitting in front of us was a second bed, identical to the one we'd destroyed. A few minutes later, the family returned, having gone to Home Depot from the looks of it, and went to work on repairing the mess we made. Emmett tried to fist bump Edward, but he walked away, not amused by his brother, so I gave him the return bump. I couldn't leave him hanging there, if for no other reason than he wouldn't move until someone bumped him back or Rosalie threatened to withhold sex.

Carlisle offered to go hunting with us locally while the rest of the family continued the repairs. The search was beyond our woods and we could catch some food without being discovered.

The hunt didn't take long, but when we arrive home it seems a new development has unfolded. Charlie is locking himself away, refusing to eat or sleep until my return and my mom and Phil arrived to add her own hysterics to the search. It is clear that something must be done, and soon, but no one wants to go through with faking my death until we know exactly what has caused the change.

I had been a vampire for two days and it had destroyed my family. I knew they needed closure, but I was still holding out hope that I could get a second chance at good-bye.

Esme was the first to visit with my parents, trying to bring some sanity to them, hoping that her soothing would do the trick, but a few hours later I was sadly disappointed. Esme looked so hurt when she came home I didn't want to know the answer. Edward sat beside me at the table as Carlisle took the seat on Esme's right.

"I've never seen a man so broken. Bella, we need to find a way to get you to him, whether or not you are able to change back. We'll make it work, but he has to believe you're alive and happy or it will be all that he thinks about for the rest of his life."

"What did he tell you?" I asked, desperate for information.

"You stopped visiting him for the summer after you were 12 and when you came to live with him he was too busy working and fishing to really pay attention to you. He thinks he failed you. That it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't tried to reconnect. That you would have been better off without him as a father."

The sob escaped me and Esme was on my other side in a second. "He's been amazing, why would he think…this is…his fault."

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but we will find a way to give you a good-bye, hopefully with a wedding." Her wink eased my fear slightly, and Edward kissed my temple.

"This will be fixed, Bella. I will fix it."

"Edward?" The change in his tone of voice worried me even more than my concern for Charlie, he was going to do something reckless, I know it.

"Please, don't worry. I'm not running off to antagonize the pack, I just want to see you happy and I know that for that to happen, your family has to be happy. It's one of the many reasons I love you. Now, what do you say we go take a look at our remodeled suite?"

"Edward, if one tile is loosened from that bedroom wall-" Esme ended her warning with a laugh as we went to sit in our bedroom and talk.

I was lying across the bed, Edward close behind me as he whispered in my ear. "Bella, a few days ago, you were not willing to marry me so that I could change you, but now you're willing to give Charlie and Renee piece of mind. Can you explain that logic to me? I'm not criticizing it, I just want to understand it."

I rolled over so I was facing him and placed my hand on his cheek. "I was willing to undergo the change for you, that was the commitment I was offering. In my mind, promising forever to you in such a permanent way was more of a pledge than marriage. Marriages fail, but what we have transcends that. Having watched what is happening to our family because of this, I want to marry you. Part of it is giving them a happily ever after to our story, but more importantly I want to be Bella Cullen, the human, before I'm Bella Cullen, the vampire. I want us to be together in every way that matters. I'm sorry if my quick turnaround made you believe it wasn't 100% genuine, because it was."

Edward leaned down to kiss me and I smiled against his lips. "So what do you think should be the cover story? And how big were you planning our wedding to be, because if Alice has a say-"

"I want the people that are important to us to be there, sometime during the summer, we'll make it early enough for a proper honeymoon before school is supposed to start up in Alaska. Then we'll say we found jobs to help with tuition, or got internships. Right before we graduate, you can get offered a job somewhere in Europe. Then it'll be too expensive and too hard to coordinate for trips home. We'll make it work."

"You sound like you've been plotting back stories for decades, Mrs. Cullen." His face was practically glowing at the title.

"Slow down, Mr. Cullen. I don't even have a ring on my finger."

"As soon as you're home, you will. Charlie told me I had his blessing to marry you when you were safe at home. Listen, when you're 'found'…I'm going to be with Charlie. I want to have a conversation with him and I think it's best if I'm there when you're discovered. Carlisle will be there at the hospital with you to fake any medical documentation that will be necessary. It will all work out."

We spent the rest of the night discussing possible places we could travel and things we could do. Planning our future was nice, and Edward's soft caresses and gentle kisses almost took my mind off Charlie and Renee.

It was mid-morning when the Cullens went to re-join the search, leaving the two of us alone once again. Edward's hands started wandering when his phone rang, but the number that popped up on his display kept him from throwing it out the open window. Instead he put the call on speaker.

"Sam?"

"It's possible that we found the source of Bella's change, can you come to the reservation?"

"You want both of us there?" Edward asked, probably making sure what the Alpha was allowing before we headed out.

"Yes, and the sooner the better, if this works, we can still play this off as Bella getting lost and injured. We have a smaller number of people checking the vast woods out here, so it's plausible."

"We'll be there in a couple of minutes." Edward turned to me and took a set of clothes out for me, telling me to change. "We have to make it look like you've been in the woods for a few days. This will work if we plan it right."

"What will I tell everyone when I'm found?"

"Tell them you went to go grocery shopping but your truck wouldn't start. You were still mad at me so you decided to walk to La Push and ask Jake to drive you back and try to fix it, but while cutting through the woods outside the Rez, you got turned around and hit your head. You were disoriented when you eventually came to and one of the boys found you. Charlie's been looking to foul play, so they cast a wider search, it was smart of him, but at the same time, it stretched people over a wider area. It will work Bella. Now we have to run there, can't chance someone seeing me drive out there. If this works, I'll double back, drive to Charlie's so I'm there when he gets the call, and then we'll head over to see you. Carlisle will be waiting for you when you get there. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

With that, we took off in my new clothes, taking a little time to get me wet and muddy, which was a little fun. By the time we arrived at the tree line by Emily and Sam's house, I looked a fright.

"Well hell, I'd believe you were in the woods for a few days," Paul quipped before Sam looked over to him.

"This was where Emily found you?" Sam asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, I was leaning against a really knotted tree when I…"

"When you what, sweetheart?" Edward urged from behind me.

"Jake had just told me that if I was changed I'd be dead to him, that he'd make sure we were all destroyed. I ran and sat against the tree and wished I could be changed without breaking the treaty. I was crying, I didn't want the people I loved fighting over me."

Billy rolled down from the house and spoke loud enough to get our attention. "That's it. She made a selfless wish that was in the best interest of our people, so it was granted."

"What do you mean?" His explanation didn't even begin to make sense.

"It was not a tree you were leaning against when you made that wish. Many of the items from the council fire area had to be moved for the carnival. The totems were the hardest to move, so they weren't moved far. Totems display the power animals of a person, a family or a tribe. They tell stories and offer protection. The totem that was here is one that dates back a very long time, to the time of the spirit warriors. The legends say that it was imbued with the power of the shaman who created it, but that it could only be accessed by a selfless heart. Your wish was to protect those you love. That was why it granted the wish, and as the elder on the council, and with the approval of the pack Alpha, I tell you this. We will allow for this change to occur, but only this once. We have seen the love and bond you share and we are not so big as to deny what is bigger than ourselves. Now go, my child, make your wish."

I looked over to the council circle and walked up to the totem that Billy had gestured to. Reaching out my hands, I touched the carved wood and made my wish. "Let me be human again, give me the chance to say my good-byes."

I felt a chill run through me before it all went dark.

~RATLOZ~

The beeping was the first thing I heard. It was far away, but grew louder as my consciousness returned. I blinked my eyes and turned away from the blinding light of the fluorescents overhead.

"Bella?"

I turned towards my mother's voice and heard the commotion as Charlie came running in, Phil close behind. "Mom, Dad?"

"We're here, Bells."

"What happened?" I was confused, not remembering anything after the totem, but it worked for the cover story as well.

"We were hoping you could tell us. They found you out in the woods between town and La Push."

I took a deep breath and tried to move, surprised that I hurt so much. "My truck wouldn't start and I was mad at Edward…I figured I'd walk to Jake's. But, I got turned around…I wandered for a long time before I tripped. I don't remember that much after that."

"That's all right, Bella, we're just glad you're safe and sound. You had us so worried, baby."

"How long was I gone?"

"Three days." Charlie answered, his face clouding over with guilt.

"Three days, I must have scared you half to death. Especially after last time. I promise, dad, no more walks in the woods without…where's Edward?"

Charlie smiled, his mustache twitching a little as he walked to the door. "Right outside." He opened the door and motioned to someone out of view. "She's asking for you."

Edward rushed in and came to the left side of my bed, taking my hand and leaning in to kiss my forehead. "Bella, you can't believe how worried we all were. Don't ever do something like that again."

"Sorry, Edward."

"Why don't we give them a few minutes, you two need something to eat now that she's awake and is showing us that she's just fine." Phil winked at me and I had to smile, that man knew when to thin the crowd. My parents exited and Edward sat down on the edge of my bed and kissed me for real this time.

"How did everything go?" I asked, needing to know that it had all worked out.

"Aside from the heart attack you gave me when you collapsed, it went perfect. In fact, our activities the other night aided in the story."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're a little bruised up, it seems that even though it didn't show while you were a vampire, it did when you changed back. Carlisle assured me that everything was in working order and you'll be released in the morning."

I couldn't believe that everything had truly worked out, but it seems we were lucky. "Will you be here when I'm released?"

Edward smirked and kissed me again. "I don't plan on going anywhere for the foreseeable future."