"Oh shit!" Chris's curse echoed through the house. Thankfully Darren wasn't there but he could still talk to Brian and for once he was glad he would be able to ramble about something his boyfriend shouldn't hear about for now. He was scared, anxious really. How was he supposed to help Darren through his self-hatred and slow coming out process - or at least that's what it was supposed to be - if this was all over the news now?
There was a picture of them kissing. In their car. So obvious and soft smiles on their lips but the underline made him sick. Chris read through the comments and he felt like he was being punched in the stomach over and over again.
'Did Chris Colfer turn Darren Criss into Blaine Anderson completely now?'
Ouch. They'd been through this. Chris's biggest fear was exactly something like this, the fear that people would tell Darren he turned him because no matter how well he knew that this was complete and utter bullshit, it still hurt. Darren loved him and Chris had earned his love. He'd waited for him, cried with him and right now when everything was nothing but perfect it just had to crash down all over again. "Fuck! Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Chris yelled, startling the big cat that was sleeping on his bed when he slumped down on the mattress. "Oh, Jesus...why now? Why Brian? Why now?" He asked and turned to nuzzle against his small head, petting him softly and the cat meowed in return, painting a soft smile on Chris's lips. "Everything was perfect, you know? I wanted to protect him...I know we had to do it eventually but right now is -"
"Right now is what?"
Chris frowned when he heard Darren's low, raspy voice. "To be outed? To be fucking exposed in some stupid fucking magazine?" He spat and slumped down next to Chris, laying on his back before closing his tired eyes, rubbing his temples. "I was getting there, Chris...I - this is the one thing that I didn't want to happen. Not only because of me but - a-are you okay?" He whispered, concern clinging to his voice only to be swiped away by Chris's soft kiss on his cheek and the other man's warm breath on his skin. "I am fine, Darren. I just...this - is just not what I wanted for you," he said softly and nuzzled against Darren's warm, stubbly cheek. Darren groaned and shook his head. "I can't believe this is happening...my publicist was all mad this morning...I just - I didn't even see them. They must've sneaked up and just - crap! Just fuck, Chris! This is bullshit! I just told my parents and now the whole world knows. I wanted to do it in my own speed. My own way...I just - I feel so lost right now...," Darren confessed and Chris pulled him into his arms, hugging him tightly as Darren shivered and hot tears fell from his eyes. "Shit. What is this day? First I get outed. My boyfriend gets accused of fucking turning me and now I'm crying like some idiot...," he whimpered and Chris squeezed him in his arms, shaking his head as he kissed his hair. "No...it's okay...don't worry about me right now, okay? It's okay. It's fine...it's out there and you are Darren freaking Criss...you can do this. You can get it right - just...talk to your publicist. I'm sure you can give out a statement soon...," he whispered and earned a soft kiss from Darren who let out a shaky breath once they broke away.
"I'll try...," he said and pulled Chris closer, desperate for his warmth and the way he just made him feel so safe. "I just - god, it's just so unfair...I wanted to do this. I owed us. I wanted us to be able to come out with pride and not some - picture of us eating each other's faces," he chuckled hoarsely and Chris couldn't suppress a dorky laugh that ripped from his throat.
"I know...it's not what we planned but - you can do this. We've been through worse...," Chris mumbled and kissed Darren's neck.
"You're right," Darren muttered, humming at the soft, warm kisses to his neck. "I'm just so sorry...I feel like I'm disappointing everyone...," he whispered. "I always was that guy who was so open, so honest and 100% me but now? Now I'm just - a liar..."
"You're n- well...I mean...," Chris stuttered and Darren kissed him to shut him up. "Look, Chris. I'm happy. I know who I am or at least - know that I love you and I just...I just want to get a chance to explain myself," he breathed and closed his eyes again.
Chris nodded. "I know that. And you will get that chance. I promise...," he said.
"What if I don't? What if people lose all their respect for me because...god, I was preaching that it's okay to be gay or bi or whatever the fuck you want as long as you're happy and here I am. Mr. Super-straight who now turns out to be with a guy...his co-star...this is like some fucking wrongcom...," he groaned and rubbed his face.
Chris fell silent at that and just rubbed at his back, not sure what he could possibly say at that point.
"You'll be fine...," he whispered, his voice soft and high. God, how he hated helplessness.