Disclaimer: I do not own the show, the characters, or the song. But the plot and word arrangement's all mine.
A/N: So, I've been sitting on this story for about 3 months. I just heard the song again and it gave me the push I needed to start writing it. It'll be my first mutli-chapter fic, granted I've only got 3 chapters planned out. Two actually written. It'll move past the songfic part after this chapter. The song is "The Hider" by VersaEmerge.
Cat is fake, by any normal standards, meaning she's a liar, a fraud, not real… just fake. She's good, though. No one can tell she's a fake. She's a good actress. How else would she have gotten into Hollywood Arts? She is the most cheerful, nonchalant, carefree, adorable, loving person you will ever meet. But it's a lie. She hasn't been that person since third grade. Why do you think she's so childish? No, Cat is a phenomenal actress. None of her 'closest' friends asked that annoying question; "are you okay?" Even Jade, her best friend, never caught her.
Okay, that's not exactly true. Cat would slip sometimes, just slightly. She would get that blank stare in her eyes when she thought about… it. She would lose that…spark that she faked so well. That was the only time Jade would ever ask if anything was wrong. But Cat would come to her senses and…BAM! Bring on the improv. She was good with improv, at thinking up random things on the spot. Some days, Cat loved her game. Other days, she just wanted to give it up and tell someone, anyone, that she was actually messed up, that she wasn't perfect. But she never did.
My mouth has shut not to open up,
I've kept my back to them.
Those things they say blew my ears away,
I've stopped listening.
The only part of her that she really liked was her shell. Everything else about her felt useless, unworthy. She hated herself, and when she finally told her parents the secret, they shunned her. They didn't love her anymore. Her father yelled, her mother cried. They were upset, mad, and even furious at her.
Despite her own unhappiness, or rather, because of it, she always loved making other people happy. It was the only bright thing she had. When people were sad, she'd empathize and immediately cheer them up with a luminous smile, a flip of her vibrant hair, a waggle of her eyebrows… Well, she was an actress after all.
It's something new
you should try feeling
waking up on the other side.
These walls why do we need them?
I've hidden so well...
She was a hider, always seeking refuge deep within herself when things were going badly. She hid behind that beautiful shell and would remember that that is exactly why she had it in the first place. She was relieved to have something to fall back on, but she always encouraged others to be open with their feelings. Ironic, no? To everyone else, it wasn't, because to them, she was sensitive little Cat who wore her heart on her sleeve.
That was one thing she hated, playing weak. She was strong as hell. Who else could have created another identity and lived it for years? One thing Cat desperately wanted, though, was to be her shell. She wanted to not have to deal with her inner turmoil. She wanted to be superficial.
We're drawn to be what we wish to see,
you only half believe.
Cat would look in the mirror every morning and literally put on her shell. With every article of carefully chosen clothing donned, every brush of make up, every swipe of eyeliner, every application of strawberry lip gloss, every tweak of a hair ribbon, she made herself someone else. The lie. She would do it and re-do it until she half believed it, guaranteeing everyone else would.
Now I have strayed, falling far away.
Let me clear my lungs show you everything I have done.
Gritting my teeth to perfection.
Despite how she normally appeared, Cat wasn't ignorant. She understood that she wasn't who she was supposed to be, who she should have been. She'd given up on finding that path a long time ago. She had always wondered what it would be like to tell someone, but she was never brave enough to let the real Cat out of the bag. The only person she ever considered telling was Jade. It only seemed fair since Jade was the only one who had ever asked the annoying question and that ever cared what the answer was.
A/N: I've always thought there was more to Cat than just her happy, bubbly appearance, so I gave this a shot. It'll get to the Jade magic next chapter, I promise. I just needed build up. As I've stated, I have the next chapter written (and since there's actual story line, it'll be longer). All you need to do is review to get it. It's like bait for me. Like little wriggling worms on a hook. So tasty.
Anyway, review for further chapters. Or to just tell me I suck. Either way is fine :)