Just a quick one-shot I wrote after re-reading Checkmate. I hope you like it.
There was nothing but pain.
Pain for Ryan, his father; pain for Lynette, his sister. But most of all, pain for the woman before him. Cara. Cara Imega, that was her name. Passionate, caring, beautiful . . . all the things he wasn't. She shined so bright that it took all he had to put out the flame.
So here she lay, crumpled on the ground at his feet. And he hated her. Hated her almost as much as he hated himself. Hated her because of her dark Cross skin, her dark Cross hair, her dark Cross eyes. Everything that made her different from him. Everything that made her wrong.
She looked up at him with those dark Cross eyes, begging. "Please," she whispered. "Don't do this. I love you."
"I don't want your ruddy love!" he roared, spitting the word.
Her eyes sparkled with tears. "What do you want, Jude?"
"Nothing! I don't want anything!"
"But you do," she said, "you do want something. Love. That's what you want; love. You just don't realize you already have it."
Is that what she truly thought? She could honestly say that he was loved? Well, she was wrong. He'd realized that years–years – before. When he'd grown up and things had been quickly put into perspective for him. You're a nought, Jude; nothing. Nil. Zero. You're a nought, and there's nothing you can do to change that. Noughts are wrong, Jude. You are wrong. You will never be anything but nothing
And he was going to show them exactly how right they were. Exactly how wrong he was.
"I'm a nought," he growled, "a blanker. And you're a Cross. A worthless Cross bitch."
"Black and white, Jude, black and white." Her eyelids fluttered as she stared at him. "That's what you told me before. You said they were colours; that they didn't mean anything. Nothing but colours."
"I was wrong!"
"No, you were right. We're just colours. Colours, Jude. Black and white. Right and wrong. Love and hate. Only we can change what they make us."
And tears spilled from his eyes. Ancient tears, tears that were years old; tears that took him back to a time when the world was more than just black and white.
But it didn't matter now, because that was all there would ever be.
Just black and white.