Episode 4: Drunk Chris and the Austrian Custody Hearing

A week went by, and everyone was pretty much settled in. Soul was getting better at the piano, which made Maka happy that her friend—and possible future boyfriend!—was happy. Kid helped out a lot with organizing the house, even though Roderich found it to be a tad annoying at times. Sonic and his buddies were getting better at keeping Chris from being a bully to Gilbert. Izaya talked Anri into showing Mikado and Masaomi her Saika powers, which they all then used to scare Chris every time he succeeded in making little Gilbo cry. Also, Izaya was helping Gilbert strengthen his awesomeness.

To be honest, Mikado and Masaomi were pretty shocked by Anri's powers at first. But, in a couple days, they got used to it.


Finally, the day of Roderich and Elizabeta's custody hearing came, along with news of their plan to elope.

"What?" Liesel, Konrad, and Ludwig asked in complete surprise. Their jaws dropped, and their eyes widened as they took in the news: Roderich Edelstein, actually settling on one woman? Wow.

"After what I saw, I'm actually surprised," Tails commented.

"I think it's sweet," Amy said in a giddy voice.

"Nobody's saying it's not sweet, Amy," Myung explained. "It's just that based on what we walked in on last week, it's hard to believe he actually settled on one woman."

"Personally, I'm surprised he's not going to marry all of them," said Sonic.

"I've come to realize that there are many girls out there, but there's only one Elizabeta," Roderich said dramatically. "And she's the one I want to marry."

Konrad leaned in close to the others. "He's telling the truth. I can tell. Trust me; I'm his brother."

"Okay, we'll take your word for it," said Mikado. "I mean, Masaomi was a bit of a ladies' man before he settled with Saki."

"Mikado!" an embarrassed Masaomi exclaimed, his face turning red.

"Masaomi, you were a pimp like Roddy?" Gilbert asked.

"Uh, yeah, but I'm not anymore, so let's not talk about it anymore," said Masaomi.

"Okay," Gilbert said.


A couple hours later, Roderich, Elizabeta, and company were at the courthouse. Chris was playing with a paddle ball and smacking bubble gum, disturbing the bailiff and other people in the courtroom. The bailiff looked like he really, really wanted to sock Chris in the jaw. But he didn't, because he would've been in trouble, sadly.

"Would you STOP IT?" Roderich yelled at Chris.

"Bailiff, he yelled at me!" Chris whined and pointed at Roderich.

"Good!" the bailiff said back. "I don't like you, kid."

"Tsubaki, this is torture!" Black*Star whispered. "Can I go get a snack?"

"Well, alright," said Tsubaki. Black*Star jumped up out of his seat and ran out of the courtroom to look for a vending machine.


Later, the hearing was in session. The judge was reviewing Roderich's lifestyle and how his home life was, and whether or not this life was appropriate for the Beilschmidt sibs.

"Now, Mr. Edelstein, I have a question for you," said the judge.

"What is it, Your Honor?" Roderich asked.

"According to your history, you've been known to have many girlfriends at one time," said the judge. "Is this still the case?"

"No, Your Honor," Roderich replied. "I now have only—"

"BOOOOOOOOOO!" Chris yelled.

The judge banged his gavel. "Silence in the courtroom!"

"As I was saying, before Chris Klondike so rudely interrupted me," Roderich said in a pissed-off voice. "I now have only one girlfriend. Her name is Elizabeta Hedervary. She and I were even planning on getting married in the future."

"BOOO! RODERICH, YOU SUCK!" Chris shouted again, making heads turn. Black*Star came into the courtroom at that instant, carrying a big bucket of popcorn from a movie theater nearby.

"GILBERT SUCKS, TOO!" Chris continued. "AND ALL OF AUSTRIA CAN KISS MY BUTT! YOU PEOPLE SUCK! BOOOOOOO! GO HOME, BOO!"

The judge banged his gavel again. "Quiet, or I'll have the bailiff remove you from the courtroom!"

But Chris didn't stop. "BOOOOO! GO HOME, BOO!"

"That's it!" said the judge. "Bailiff, get him out of here!" Chris cursed as the bailiff literally dragged him out of the courtroom by his pants.

"What's wrong with him?" Knuckles whispered to Izaya.

"Got me," Izaya whispered back.

"I guess he got into the Schnapps we had in the kitchen," Ludwig whispered.

"Oh," said Izaya. "That explains a lot."

"He's mean," Gilbert said. He was starting to tear up because of Chris, once again, hurting his feelings.

The judge then saw Black*Star munching on popcorn. "Hey, no food in the courtroom."

"But—" Black*Star said.

"Take your food outside," the judge ordered.

"Ah, dammit," Black*Star said. He picked up his popcorn, got up, and exited the courtroom. Unfortunately, he had to wait with Chris. Poor, poor Black*Star.

The judge turned to Elizabeta. "Miss Hedervary, why didn't you use your frying pan on the boy the bailiff had to drag out of here?"

"Because I wasn't allowed to bring it in," said Elizabeta. "If I had it, I would've hit the crap out of him."

"Oh, alright, you're off the hook," said the judge. "Now, back to this custody thing. Mr. Edelstein, based on your history, the fact that you're no longer going to be a pimp like your father, and your income, you are hereby granted custody of Liesel, Mudgig, and Gilbert Beilschmidt." He banged his gavel. "Court is adjourned."

Ludwig stood up. "With all due respect, Your Judgeness, my name's not Mudgig. It's Ludwig."

"Oh, sorry, your name's not that popular anymore," said the judge. "My mistake." Everybody rose as the judge left the bench and exited the courtroom.

"This is wonderful!" said Elizabeta.

"Let's go out tonight to celebrate," Roderich said.

"Yeah!" everybody else cheered.

"Can I bring Prussia?" Gilbert asked his cousin. He showed Roderich the bear he had brought with him to the hearing.

"Sure, why not?" Roderich replied.


Roderich and Elizabeta treated everybody to a nice dinner at a family restaurant. Everybody except Chris got to have dessert because Chris behaved badly in court.


Later, when they got home, Izaya and everyone else explained what happened back in Ikebukuro to Roderich and Elizabeta, from the rest of the gang's arrival to Chris the idiot opening the Chest of Demons. They also explained that they had to travel around the world and capture the demons in order to keep them from destroying the world.

Naturally, Roderich objected greatly to his cousins doing this. "No! I just got you three back. I can't bear the thought of losing you like I lost your parents!"

"But Roddy, Iza will keep us safe," said Gilbert. "Shizu-chan will, too."

"Please don't call me that," Shizuo said to Gilbert.

Roderich sighed. "We'll talk about this more tomorrow. Now we need to get ready for bed."

With that, everyone went to bed. Myung had to help Chris into the bathroom to throw up, and then his room.