Summary – Derek cannot keep his feelings, or body parts for that matter, to himself anymore. When Penelope Garcia comes to his front door in the middle of the night to inform him Kevin left her, what will happen?
Hello! LoveHGSS here, just saying a quick 'thank you' for opening up this piece that I've written with the lovely, and talented, LadyBelletrist. We hope that you enjoy this story that we've been working on for quite some time, and don't forget to leave us a review to let us know what you think! Thanks again!
Disclaimer – Even though we will one day rule the world, we currently do not own Criminal Minds. We also do not make any money from this fanfiction or we'd be filthy rich.
Warning – 18 and over only. Language, sexual content.
Derek can't sleep, thoughts of Garcia in her enticing garb with the luscious cleavage keeps running through his mind. He tosses and turns, becoming more and more aroused as images of her flash behind his eyelids. He throws the covers off, feeling overly warm. He sleeps naked and his skin feels super sensitive. He's tingling; the silk sheets beneath him only making him think of her skin. The silky smoothness of her skin. He loves the feel of her skin. The soft, supple flesh that he knows he takes any and all opportunities to touch. He craves the feeling of her skin. Because she warms him the core. The feel of her skin heats his heart and his body. He wants to feel all of her, to feel her flesh pressed against him. He needs to feel all of her, and every day the craving just grows stronger.
He grows more tired because he can't sleep, having vivid dreams that make him wake up sweating and hard. He knows he can't continue like this much longer. He has to have her. But she's not there and he needs release. He's aching. Deciding to try to take a shower to calm himself, he goes into the bathroom and turns on the shower, hoping that this will help him regain control, because Derek is all about control. He puts his hands on the sink and hunches over, looking at himself in the mirror as he waits for the water to heat. He frowns at his reflection.
He looks at himself and says, "This has gotta stop, man."
But inside he knows he is unable to stop, she is a part of him. He knows deep down he doesn't want it to change. He wants to make her happy. He wants to be her happiness. But right now it's primal, sexual. Primal because his instincts scream that she belongs to him and he should take her. He wants to mark her as his. To show her she belongs with and to him.
He steps into the shower and begins to soap his body, but thoughts of Penelope dominate his thoughts. He tries to keep them away but the hot water only makes it worse, not better. He pictures the washcloth is her hands, roaming over his broad shoulders and chest and he flashes back to her hand on his chest and how that feels when she does it. His heart is racing and his body is reacting to the memory. How he wants to grab her hand and pull her forward each time she touches him and then just walks away. He wants to pull her hard against him and tilt her head up in order to cover her mouth with his own. He wants to press his back against the wall and let her body mold to his.
He closes his eyes and begins to picture it as if were actually happening.
He runs his hands over her curves, wanting to imprint himself on her body. So she knows that she belongs to him and only him. She moans as he dominates her mouth, her hands fisting his shirt, giving in to him. She lets go of all control, all thought, and follows wherever he leads. She opens her mouth and his demanding tongue enters it. He crushes her ever tighter to his body, his hands wandering down her body and grabbing her butt. His hands grip her roughly, plundering her hot mouth until she returns the deeper kiss and he grinds against her.
She moves her hips in time with his, already feeling his bulge against her. He nips her bottom lip, sucks it into his mouth. The thought of her against him, accepting his possession makes him more aroused, not less. He can't help but grab his erection, the washcloth falling to the floor of the tub. Yes, he knows what he has to do to get a modicum of peace. He wants her so badly it hurts but this will allow him to sleep for a few hours .
He aches. He burns for her. He feels like he's on fire and she's the only thing that will take it all away. But he needs her to burn just the same way for him so he knows he is not going to be alone with this anymore. He needs to feel her fire mix with his. To feel that desire and passion and know it's just for him. All his and only his. Not anyone else's. Not now not ever. His. That scares him a little; it means that she occupies a place inside him that no one else does. His heart. She is his heart.
Mr. In Control is out of control. He knows it. And can't deny it any longer, no matter how much he wants to. He closes his eyes and strokes himself; he's not picturing love and sweetness, not at all. Derek has taken the situation in hand. It sends a shiver down his back, the sensation of it making his knees buckle. He slowly strokes himself, fantasizing about Garcia on her knees, looking up at him.
He wraps his hand around his hardened member and drops to his knees, no longer able to stand as he pictures her. She is holding his girth in her hand as she licks her lips in anticipation and slightly parts her mouth. But then that tongue is on him and she delicately licks him, paying attention to his responses to her teasing. Before she even takes him into her mouth, she teases his tip and the underside of him, long broad strokes with her tongue. He rakes his hands into her hair, pulling the strands tight, still feeling somewhat in control. She takes her other hand and lightly scratches his thigh and he pulses in her mouth in response. He lets out a breathy moan as her nails sink in harder.
He says her name, "Oh God, Penelope."
She smiles in response as she takes him deeper in her mouth. She hums around what's in her mouth, causing him to groan and buck his hips forward. In the shower, Derek pumps his hand faster and bows his head as he watches his fantasy Garcia take him deeper. He watches himself slide in and out of her glossy lips. She is wearing that red lip gloss that should be outlawed. He watches as her deep brown eyes look up at him over her glasses and he keeps her gaze.
She drops her eyes for a moment, and he tells her, "Look at me…"
She smiles around him and looks back up again. In the shower, his hand moves at an erratic pace, feeling so close. Fantasy Garcia bobs her head faster and faster, sensing that he is close. She reaches up and boldly cups his testicles, giving them a squeeze. Derek moans her name and tugs her hair. She feels him throb in her mouth and taps her tongue on his head. She uses her hand to cover what her mouth can't reach.
"Yes," Derek hisses. "So close, baby..."
He loves her loud sucking sounds and her moaning. It's sloppy and wet. Her tongue laps at him as she takes him deeper, and Derek's breath hitches.
"So good... take it all, baby."
She does, relaxing her throat and taking all his length just as he moans his release. She watches him as she accepts his seed, loving the way he tastes in her mouth. She licks him clean, not wanting to waste a single drop of his salty release as he experiences aftershocks. She smiles up at him. That smile is what makes Derek lose it, his hand gripping and pulling at his aching erection until he shoots his seed all over the floor of the shower, while calling her name. As Derek catches his breath, his heart pounding, he vows to himself Penelope Garcia will be his.
He lets the water wash away any hesitancy he had, his mind now set. He gets out of the shower and grabs a towel, but stops short when he hears a knock on his door. He pulls on a pair of sweatpants and grabs his gun from the nightstand. He slowly opens the door and she is standing there with an anxious, troubled look. But turns to horror as she sees he's pointing a gun at her. He lowers the gun with one hand and reaches out and pulls her inside with the other.
"Have you lost your mind, girl?"
"I just needed to talk to you." Her voice is quiet.
He draws her into the living room and sits her down on the sofa. "Penelope, what's wrong, baby?" He sits beside her, but she doesn't meet his eyes.
"There's a lot wrong, Derek."
And so she did.
Kevin had left her. Couldn't handle the heat between her and Morgan. The rumors at the BAU got to him. She couldn't even bring herself to deny it. The looks of pity. The snickers. The "knowing looks". The stopped conversations when he entered the room. The feeling that Derek was better in every way. The way she talked about him. How she looks at him. The room sharing in Alaska. How often they were alone in each other's offices. The legendary phone calls between them. Even around him. As if he wasn't there. That continued unabated after they were together.
Kevin thought maybe it would stop, or at least lessen, but it didn't. How Derek didn't acknowledge his presence in her life, as if he wasn't important, but Derek was. The time Derek called her "needing to talk" and she went into the other room and conversed with him for hours. Derek would call her at all hours of the night when he was away. She even stopped having sex with him once to talk to Derek. She said it was because he needed her. Not to mention the long list of pet names for Derek, when she had none for him. Unless you call "Kev" a pet name.
The way she said Derek's name made him sick. He saw them in Penelope's office one night. The door was cracked and they didn't know he was there. He saw the intimacy. Derek was behind her, hugging her and kissing her head. He saw the look on her face. She had her eyes closed, a small smile on her lips and then Derek touched her face, caressing her jaw with an oddly possessive look on his face. He looked at her with such tenderness and heat; another man knows that look.
It was a look that, if Kevin gave her it, she would slap him. He left and they didn't see him but, as he walked away, he heard them laughing and murmuring in an intimate tone. He heard a smacking of lips - a kiss. But he didn't see it was just Penelope kissing his hand in thanks for the shoulder rub. That would drive any man over the edge. At that moment, Kevin acknowledged that Penelope would never truly be his; she belonged to Derek. He knew Penelope wasn't in love with him. He saw that she was meant to be with Derek.
Kevin was oddly okay with this. He really does just want her happiness. But that doesn't make it feel good. Penelope is crushed for hurting him, but knows he's right. She knows he can't be around them and be the outsider any more. He can't be the sideline. He can't be the appetizer when Derek is the main course. He knows it even if she won't acknowledge that, even to herself. He wanted all of her, but he barely got any at all. Her heart was never his for the taking.
She tells him, "Derek just sees me as a good friend."
The truth of the matter, though, is that her heart was gone the first day he called her "baby girl".
"I am only going to say this once, Penelope. He's in love with you. Trust me. Everyone knows, Pen...except you two."
"Kev... He doesn't. He's my friend. That's all."
"He hangs off your every word, your every move," Kevin said flatly, no emotion to his voice. "And when I touch you or show affection in front of him, he gives me that threatening stare. Even when his lips smile, his eyes NEVER do."
"You are imagining things. He'd never do that. We are just close, you knew that when we met."
"No, this isn't close. What you have is a relationship. Really, Pen, if you guys were so close and only really good friends, why did you keep the fact that we were a couple from him?"
"I kept that from everyone," she splutters.
"Because you were ashamed. You were not ashamed to flaunt Morgan around. You are close to JJ. You didn't keep it from her."
"I just wasn't sure what we were for awhile, Kevin."
"Even after we decided, you still kept it to yourself. JJ had to tell him, it should have been you, Pen .YOU."
"I just didn't think it was any of his business"
Kevin snorted. "Really? Did anyone tell Derek that?"
Penelope bit her lip, but said nothing. She didn't have the words to deny it anymore. She lowered her eyes, no longer able to meet Kevin's gaze, her thoughts a jumble.
"Just tell me the truth, Pen."
Penelope asked herself, "What was the truth?"
"Do you love Derek Morgan?"
"He is my friend," she'd said weakly. "Of course, I love him, don't be silly."
It had happened all too fast, coming down on top of her and she didn't know what to say.
"No, Penelope. You owe me an answer at least. Once again, are you in love with him?"
Penelope returns to the present and realizes that Derek is speaking to her.
"What…what did you say, Derek?"
Derek is gazing at her intently, unsure of what to say. Penelope is crying, but he wants her to be able to tell him in her own time. He watches the tears roll down her cheeks. He sighs, acknowledging to himself that this is her story; he is hesitant to interrupt her but needs to prompt her to hear the explanation. He reaches out and brushes her tears away tenderly.
"Baby girl, don't cry," he pleads.
He doesn't know how to approach her, this situation is so new to him. He's frightened of her response, but he needs to know. He draws her close, and she lays her head on his shoulder, sniffling. He rubs her back and kisses her hair.
"Talk to me, little mama. It's me, Derek"
She continues to sniffle, afraid to tell him the truth. He feels her body trembling and feels helpless. He pulls back, takes her by the shoulders and tilts her head up until she looks him in the eye. He wants to make it right, he needs to fix her. She holds his gaze because she can't bring herself to look away. He places a soft kiss on her mouth, intending it to be comforting. At the touch of his lips on hers, she grabs his head and presses her lips hard against his. Derek opens his mouth, deepening the kiss, crushing her against his muscular body. He dominates her mouth, grabbing her by the arms and laying back, lifting her on top of him. Penelope protests.
"I'm too heavy," she manages to get out between kisses.
"Shut up," he says, kissing her again. "You are perfect, just the right size for me. Every single inch of you."
Penelope still tries to draw back, her insecurities taking over. "Derek…I…listen…this…I didn't mean..," she began.
"Pen…what?" Derek attempts to draw her back into his arms, needing to taste her again.
She sits upright, trying to gather her thoughts, needing to put some space between them.
He moves away, hurt and confused. Thoughts race through his mind and he feels like an idiot. He was taking advantage of her, he thought. He looks at her intently, needing to make sense of this, but she is not meeting his gaze.
Penelope puts her face in her hands and shakes her head, thinking, "Oh my God, what did I just do? I have just ruined everything." He reaches out to touch her arm. She shivers at his touch. Meanwhile, the wicked voice inside her says, "This is exactly what you have been dreaming of doing." Her insecurities are saying, "He could never want you!"
Derek believes that her shiver is one of revulsion, and pulls back quickly, concerned that she will not look at him. He berates himself for "falling all over her."
"Tell me what you said to Kevin," he says in quiet tone, not wanting her to realize how much he needs to know. Derek forces himself to sound calm and unaffected, yet inwardly chastising himself for doing anything other than making her happy. He forces himself to just listen to Penelope, be her 'friend', when all he wants is to take her and make her his at last. He wants to gather her in his arms and never let her go, but realizes that she doesn't share his feelings. He feels broken inside. Not good enough. Never good enough.
A battle wages in Derek's heart because his instincts are screaming at him: She is here, take her, she is yours.
Penelope finally looks at Derek, tears leaking from her eyes as she takes a shuddering breath. His eyes drop involuntarily to her heaving bosom.
"Derek." He forces his eyes back to her face. "I don't want to ruin this."
Derek frowns in confusion.
"Ev…everything we have…our friendship," she says shakily. "I don't want to lose that…you." She looks up at him, meeting his gaze with trepidation.
"You will never lose me, baby. I'm always going to be here for you. Nothing will EVER change that…nothing. I told you before, I'm not going anywhere," he says decisively.
Penelope hiccups, "You promise?"
Derek nods and grabs her hand, "Until the day I die."
She takes a deep, calming breath, deciding that it is now or never. "I-I told him yes." Her voice is barely over a whisper, her heart pounding in her ears, as she reaches out and strokes his cheek.
Derek stares at her stunned, convinced that he has misheard her statement.
"Yes, what, baby?"
She returns Derek's look steadily. "He asked if I w-was in love with you. I said yes."
For a moment, Derek's heart stops, words caught in his throat, unable to speak. Penelope watches him, convinced that he could never return her feelings. As the silence grows between them, Penelope stands.
"I'm sorry," she says forlornly as she stands to leave.
Derek sees his heart and soul leaving him, and comes to an instantaneous decision. His possessive, alpha side emerges. She can't leave him, he won't allow it.
Penelope is heartbroken; what was she thinking? How could she let herself hope that he would return her feelings? Derek Morgan love her? Not in this lifetime. She quickly walks to the door, intent on leaving immediately so that she could go home to die of humiliation in private.
Her hand reaches for the doorknob.
Her fingers close around it, and she partially opens the door, thinking only to remove herself as quietly as possible, when his hand slams the door shut. Derek stands behind her, the two of them frozen in time. Penelope feels his body heat, his harsh breathing, right behind her ear. She shivers, aroused. He steps closer and she stiffens in surprise, shocked to her core. Derek is aroused. Penelope began wondering what to do when she hears his voice.
"Turn around," he commands in a guttural tone, pressing his hips forwards.
Penelope hesitates, uncertain.
A/N – LadyBelletrist here! I am pleased and honored to coauthor this smokin' hot fic with #theotherhalfofmybrain, LoveHGSS. We hope you've enjoyed this; we have much more to come. We'd love to hear from you, so please take just a moment to review and let us know your thoughts and opinions! Thank you for reading!