Braveheart face paint on!
Random fan: "This is the Suits Fandom. It's too early for any AU's! To join it, you must pay homage to us writers and the hard work we have put in sticking to the show."
Me: "I give homage to USA Network, who owns Suits! And if this is the Suits Fandom, why do you run from AU's?"
Random Fan 2: "We didn't come here to read this kind of story!"
Random Fan 3: "Ho! The fandom is too young!"
Me: "Fans of Suits! I am The Peep93!"
Random Fan 3: "The Peep93 only writes wrestling fanfics!"
Me: "Yes, I've heard. She writes wrestling fics by the hundreds, and if SHE were here, she'd produce oneshots from her eyes, and sappy fics from her arse! *Laughter* I AM The Peep93! And I see a whole ARMY of my fellow fans, here in defiance of tyranny of NORMAL Suits fan fiction. You've come to read an Alternate Universe work of fiction. A fictitious story of a fictitious show. And what will you do with this AU? Will you read?"
Random Fan 2: "Read this? No!"
Me, nods: "Read, and you may dislike it so much that you keel over, dead. Never read it, and you'll live. At least a while. But will you lay in your beds, dying, knowing that you had this chance to show the haters that it is NEVER to early for a good AU? FOR SUITS! AND FOR FLUFFYNESS! AND FOR MIDNIGHT DELERIOUS RANTS ABOUT PUPPIES AND BRAVEHEART!"
Harvey Specter walked into Pearson-Hardman with his chin held high. Just last night, he had closed a huge deal that just made the firm millions in assets. When he called himself the best damn closer in the city, he was NOT joking.
"Good morning, Donna," he greeted her receptionist as he walked past her desk.
"Jessica wants to see you in her office ASAP."
"What for?" She shrugged.
"Something about a new client. She didn't give me many details, only said that I was to reschedule your whole day so you could deal with something." Harvey smirked. No wonder Donna refused to look at him. It was only 9 and she had already rescheduled all his meetings."
"Have I ever told you how much I love you?"
"Go, Harvey, before I tell that associate you think he's going to be the next you." Harvey winced.
"I'm already gone."
He walked into Jessica's office with his signature grin on.
"Jessica! How can I help you this fine day?"
"Harvey! I would like you to meet our new client, Dr. James Crawford." An older, bespectacled man stood and offered his hand.
"Dr. Crawford?" Harvey asked. "As in THE Dr. Crawford?"
"If you mean the Dr. Crawford who created hybrid species for companionship and as pets, then you have the right one," Jessica said, sounding quite pleased with herself. "Louis was speaking to him the other day, and landed him as our client." The amiable old man chuckled.
"You make it sound as though your clients are like fish. We've got those, by the way. Fish-human hybrids. I suppose they're merpeople, but that's besides the point."
"It's an honor to meet, you, sir," Harvey said honestly as he shook the man's hand. "Hybrids are a controversial business, though, aren't they?"
"Very." For the first time, Harvey noticed Louis Litt sitting in the corner, stroking the head of a hybrid that was sitting at his feet. "I met Dr. Crawford when I bought this handsome fellow. His name's Devon, and he's a Panther hybrid." Harvey examined the hybrid as Louis spoke. He had small black ears that poked out of almost the top of his head, and a furry tail that whipped about behind him as he purred contentedly.
"How ironic," Harvey mused out loud. "The most mousey looking man I have ever met is the owner of something that shares DNA with a jungle cat." He shook his head as Louis scowled. "Strange."
"Harvey, try to behave around the client," Jessica said, sounding exasperated.
"Of course." He turned to the doctor again. "Now, how can I be of assistance?"
"I'm being taken to court to try and prove that keeping hybrids as pets is not humane. I need you people to be able to prove that they aren't."
"You'll have the case, Harvey, so we need you to do some… Public Relations stunts." Harvey eyed her suspiciously.
"What KIND of public relations stunt?"
"Jessica, has it ever occurred to you there's a REASON I never got a hybrid?" Harvey asked as they walked through the halls of Ibrida Labs. The walls were lined with glass doors that led into small rooms with various breeds of hybrids. "I have money," Harvey continued. "And you of ALL people should know how much I like to flaunt it. Don't you think I have a good reason for NOT having a hybrid like the rest of upper-class society?"
"And what would your reason be?"
"I don't have time to take care of a normal pet, much less something that can talk and think for itself!"
"I put my Rachel to work, and she's fine as one of our paralegals. Whatever you pick can be your assistant until the end of the case. If you don't want to keep it, we'll bring him back and tell the world you were just coming up with a good defense by learning what it was like to live with a hybrid. Deal?" Harvey sighed.
"Fine, but I want some time off. If I've got to take care of someone else, I want to get off a couple hours early every day."
"Only for the first three days. Then you'll just have to figure something out."
"Fine. Dr. Crawford?" He turned to the old man. Show me the quietest one's you've got.
The first up was a hamster-hybrid.
"Oh God," Harvey said decisively. "It looks like Louis. Definitely not."
The next hybrid they brought out was a little dog… thing.
"What is he, exactly?" He was small, whatever he was. Or maybe just thin. Harvey couldn't tell because the hybrid was trying his hardest to hide behind the handler that brought him in, with his ears pressed against his head and his tail tucked between his legs.
"Some kind of mutt," Dr. Crawford explained. "His parents both worked here and were exposed to the virus that causes mutations like these. They were both killed in car wrecks, and his only remaining relative just passed away. He's been here for a couple months, and he's skittish."
"Does he cause any trouble?" Harvey asked.
"Not even a little," the doctor assured him.