The Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction
by
Draco's Daughter

Disclaimer: I do not own Dissidia: Final Fantasy, the characters therein, nor do I own the original Thirteen Final Fantasy games nor the numerous characters therein.

The concept of the OFU (Official Fanfiction University) belongs to Camilla Sandman, author of the "Official Fanfiction University of Middle Earth" a.k.a. "the one that started it all."

A/N: If you would like to appear in this story as a student, kindly fill out the questionnaire featured in this chapter and either PM or send it via email. Reviews with applications will be ignored. All the important and required questions are featured.

Also, if you spot any Baby Behemoths, either in a Dissidia Fanfiction, or in a fic from one of the original Final Fantasy games, please let me know and send me a link to the fic in which you found it so I can add it to my list.

Now, please enjoy the tales from The Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction.

-X-X-X-X-

Prologus

The sound of steel swords clashing filled the vast emptiness of Order's Sanctuary as two figures dueled. One was the great Warrior of Light, leading the attack on a figure dressed all in red. The figure was holding her own until the Warrior made another attack, sending her flying across the arena. Her sword clattered to the ground, the woman in red tumbling to a stop, face up in the shallow water, breathing heavily.

The Warrior of Light approached his opponent, stooping to pick up her weapon to bring it to her. He held it out to her hilt-first, smiling as she took it, using it to pull her up.

"You're definitely getting better. You actually managed to land a few hits this time," he stated. The woman grunted softly as she was helped up, dismissing her blade in a flash of swirling fuchsia energy.

"So many skills to learn and master, not enough time till the start of term," the woman said, going to sit and relax on the steps to Cosmos's throne.

"As least you're making an effort to learn," the Warrior said, pulling a potion from his pack and handing it to her. She pulled the stopper off the bottle and took a swig, grimacing lightly at the taste, feeling her energy restored and minor injuries healed. She suspected that potions had some kind of alcohol in them, seeing as alcohol had been viewed as a medicine in ancient times in her world.

"We can only hope the students will do the same," the woman stated, finishing off the potion. At that moment, Zidane came running, tossing something to the Warrior of Light.

"Watch over that for me, thanks!" The thief called as he fled.

The Warrior blinked, looking down at the item Zidane had given him.

"Please tell me this isn't one of Kuja's thongs…"

The distant call of "JUST GO AWAY!" and impressive light show that began to rain down on the fleeing Zidane was all the confirmation they did NOT need.

-X-X-X-X-

Lana Morano squealed as she won yet another quick battle on Dissidia with Firion, the hottest hottie in Dissidia's cast of hotties! I mean, really, all Dissidia was was a game for fangirls who loved the men of Final Fantasy!

Lana had bought the game for Cloud, but the Rose Warrior had quickly captured her heart. Let the others have Cloud, as long as she had Firion she was happy.

Turning off her PSP, she bounced over to her laptop, opening the lid and bringing the machine to life. She had her inspiration for the next chapter of her "epic" Firion/OC love story, "Scattered Roses."

Opening up her word processor, she began to write –

'the crystal walls of pandamoneum glowed as the cruel Emperor approched Rosalyn's fallen form, laughing evilly.

"youve lost, little Rosalyn, give urself to me" he said licking his lips.

"ewww, never!" Rosalyn said. the Emperor was evil and would most certainly rape her! 'oh, someone help me!' she thought, too weak from the battle to get up and run away.

"emperor!1!" a voice called. Rosalyn's face lit up in happieness.

"my lurve! u came to save me!" she cried happiely.

"Oh how quaint, she thinks our Firion will save her out of love," a voice behind Lana stated, making her jump in surprise. Turning, she found herself looking at two oddly dressed women. One had purple hair and was clothed in pink and purple. She wore a headscarf similar to Firion's. The other had long blue-black hair and was dressed in deep purple and gold.

"Who are you?" Lana asked, curious and a bit frightened, seeing as both women were armed, one with a dagger at her waist, the other with a bow and quiver-full of arrows. Both regarded her with contempt.

"I'm Maria and this is Leila," the black haired woman said. "We're here on orders from Princess Hilda and the Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction."

Lana blinked, mouth agape like some kind of fish.

"The Great Will has made us aware of all those spewing lies and mistruths about the Warriors fighting in Dissidia in horridly-written accounts called "Fanfiction." So, a truce was called between Cosmos and Chaos until the situation can be rectified," Leila continued, pulling a parchment envelope from her belt-pouch and tossing it at Lana. The young woman caught it automatically.

"Fill out the forms to enroll, if you don't you'll never be able to write a Dissidia Fanfiction again. You must enroll and pass all classes to obtain a license to write for the Eternal Conflict," Maria finished, smirking lightly.

Lana couldn't believe it. She had to be dreaming, either that or too many late nights trying to beat Dissidia had finally fried her brain. Looking down at the envelope, she opened it and pulled out a thick wad of papers.

The first was a formal acceptance letter for the Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction that outlined the College's purpose and goal to eradicate bad fanfiction from the Dissidia fandom. It also listed out the numerous royal commissions the college held:

-The Royal House of Cornelia
-The Royal House of Fynn
-The Royal House of Palamecia
-The Royal House of Baron
-The Royal House of Alexandria
-The Royal House of Archades

The next four pages were a long disclaimer that pertained to the "all injuries are caused by my own stupidity and are not the fault of the staff, associates, or visitors of the RCDF or creatures of the Dissidia: Final Fantasy world" clause, but who ever reads those all the way before signing? Certainly not Lana!

Looking up, Lana found that Maria and Leila had disappeared, leaving her to fill out the forms on her own. Grabbing a pen, Lana began.

The questionnaire form held the heading of BE TRUTHFUL in large, loopy letters. Shrugging, Lana started filling in the various requested information. Many were easy and automatic answers: Name, Age, Race, Gender…

She quickly jotted down "Final Fantasy II" as her favorite Final Fantasy game, only because she knew that's where Firion came from.

"Firion" was also her favorite hero and "none" were her favorite villain. Who in their right mind liked villains?

After numerous questions about plot points from the various Final Fantasy games Lana came to the last three questions.

"Moogle or Chocobo?" Chocobo

"Cosmos or Chaos?" Cosmos

"Class?" she left this blank, not knowing what to put.

After finishing the forms, a sudden exhaustion came over Lana, who quickly fell asleep at her desk. It would be the last truly restful sleep she would get for a good, long while…

-X-X-X-X-

To be continued…

Please feel free to tell me your thoughts and send in student applications and Baby Behemoths. Till next time, my friends.