The Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction
by
Draco's Daughter

Disclaimer: See the prologue

Chapter Warnings: Light Violence against Fangirls, Plot Holes, Monster Amounts of Homework

A/N: Hey, guys! When you send me Baby Behemoths, please let me know where you found them by sending a link to the story in which they were found. I can't take a Baby Behemoth like "Four Friends" without context; even if you're 99.9% sure they really meant "Four Fiends." We don't want to create intentional Baby Behemoths, that's a very shameful act.

Also, the poll on my profile is still open! Go vote for your 2 favorite Firion pairings from the choices!

-X-X-X-X-

Chapter 4 – Down the Plot Hole

Classes wrapped up at about 3:00 pm, save for those students who had managed detentions. Lana sighed heavily as she shouldered her bag, wanting nothing more than to go back to the dorm, flop down on her bed, and nap for a few hours. Her roommates had other plans.

"Come on, Lana, we're heading to the library," Morriah stated, grabbing Lana's arms and nearly dragging her towards the aforementioned location.

"Nooo, wanna sleep," Lana protested, trying to escape Morriah's grip. Torri just grabbed her other arm, helping pull her along.

"Two and a half pages of sentence editing for Cecil, summaries for Mateus; both are due tomorrow. Do them and we'll let you go do what you want," Morriah said. SquallGal skipped ahead of them, humming merrily.

"I'll see you guys later, I have a club meeting!" The perky girl said, waving as she left.

During Orentation Week, students had been given the opportunity to start student-led clubs. They had to apply for official charter and register all members with Cosmos, who had been appointed Director of Student Life. The clubs so-far included: The Slasher Society, Canon Crusaders, Cosmos Compatriots, the Cult of Kefka, Silver Elite – Dissidia Branch (Sephiroth's fanclub), and the Firion Fanatics. Lana had already joined the Firion Fanatics, but their first meeting wasn't until Saturday. SquallGal hadn't really said what club she had jointed, but no one had really asked either.

-X-X-

Lana had only been in the library once during Orentation Week. Shantotto ran the library and had strict rules in place. A plaque on the door read: "This room will remain in silence, any who break it will be met with violence!" So it was most definitely not the hang-out most school libraries had become in regular schools. But it was a common place to find one's Lust Object so fangirls came anyways. The staff had a private seating area on the Library's second level. Sephiroth was seen the most often, usually sharing tea and old novels with Judge Gabranth.

Torri scouted out an empty table for the group; all those with a good view of the staff seating were full on girls ignoring their studies to ogle Squall, who was attempting to escape the Baby Behemoth curse that had befallen him. (Kefka had been the most recent character to obtain a Baby Behemoth, Quefka. Quefka had revealed his presence by pouncing on a sleeping Squall and setting fire to his bed. Kefka was most proud.)

"SquallGal will be sooo jealous when we tell her we saw Squall," Lana whispered to Morriah as they sat down at an empty table a good ways away from the staff seating.

"Less ogling, more studying," Morriah said, pulling out books and papers to begins her homework. Lana pouted, but copied her actions all the same.

The Royal College of Dissidia Fanfiction was turning out to be more boring than Lana had originally imagined. Morriah had become the mother hen of their group, leading the group around the school and deciding what they were going to do and where they would go. Torri had become her second-in-command, enforcing her decisions. SquallGal had the pluck and bravery to go against Morriah and do her own thing. But Lana was the kind of person that needed to be part of a group, so she went along with whatever Morriah and Torri did. Hopefully, she would meet some new friends at the meeting Saturday…

"So the plan is in place?" Lana heard Jacylin whisper. Jacylin was holding court at a nearby table with a handful of students, all known members of the "Cecil's Consorts," a clandestine group of students who loved Cecil a bit too much. None of them had taken very kindly to the Lady in Red's announcement that Cecil was a married man and thus unavailable to them.

"After much trial and error, I've made a list of possible locations of the Staff Section," Jacylin continued. Upon hearing that, Lana shared a glance with Torri and Morriah, who had also started to eavesdrop on the group. "Also, I've managed to come up with a schedule of where the Baby Behemoths will be at what times." The other Cecil's Consorts began to whisper excitedly.

"So we will all take a location to check for the Staff Section. She who manages to find the true location will bring back Cecil for the rest of the group to share," Jacylin finished. "I've located an unused dungeon deep in the bowels of the castle where we can keep him, here." She pointed to a location on a map.

"That's a stupid plan and you know it," Torri said, causing all heads to turn to look at her.

"How dare you eavesdrop!" Jacylin declared in a loud voice. Morriah grimaced, that was sure to bring the wrath of Shantotto down upon them. Subtly, she began to pack her things away.

"Kinda hard not to in a silent library and you're sitting right next to us," Torri replied, shutting "The Big Book of Evil" and shoving it in her bag. "Come on, Morriah, I think we need to report this."

"Agreed," Morriah said, nodding. Lana blinked, wondering why Morriah and Torri would want to get the other girls in trouble. Weren't they all here to attempt to get their men?

"You'd better not," Jacylin threatened. The odds certainly were against Morriah and Torri. Jacylin had six other girls to back her up. Morriah and Torri only had Lana.

"I hear voices raised in anger, I wonder if they are aware of the danger?" Shantotto asked in her sing-song voice. All eyes were now on the small black mage as she tapped her staff against the palm of her free hand. All girls paled lightly, not truly wanting to face Shantotto rage. However, they were saved by the sound of Squall taking down a fangirl that had managed to get up onto the second level. Shantotto settled them with a harsh glare before going to check on the damage Squall's Aerial Circle had done to her library.

"Get your stuff together, Lana," Morriah stated. Lana nodded, noting how the fire had returned to the eyes of all the Cecil's Consorts and they were starting to advance on the three. Quickly, Morriah, Torri, and Lana bolted for the library door, fleeing down the hallway. The Cecil's Consorts were hot on their heels though, shouting as they ran after them.

Lana was ready to cry again. Today was shaping up to be a perfectly horrid day with no end in sight. Torri led the way, having studied the map the most of the three, leading them in a twisting, turning path down to the entrance hall in hope to shake the Cecil's Consorts.

"Down to the entrance hall, out the doors, and to the Chocobo track, if we can lose them, that is," Torri said as they ran, weighed down a bit by their bags. They had made it down to the entrance hall and nearly to the front doors when a swirling energy burst tripped the trio and the Cecil's Consorts, bringing them to the floor in a tangle of limbs. They all looked up to see an irate Lightning and a nervous Firion standing in the entrance hall.

"Did we all miss the part in our handbooks where it said running in the halls was prohibited?" Lightning asked, placing herself between Firion and the fangirls. Firion's Baby Behemoth, Firioner, growled, preparing to pounce if any of the girls even looked at Firion funny. Someone had put a collar around his neck that resembled Firion's headscarf.

"Miss Lightning, these girls are plotting against Cecil," Morriah said, recovering a lot faster than her companions. Jacylin glared at Morriah as the other Cecil's Consorts began to protest their innocence. Lightning snorted, glancing back at Firion.

"You wanna do the honors?" she asked. Firion nodded, drawing his sword. The Weapon's Master drove his blade down into the floor, giving it a little twist. Large cracks spread out towards the Cecil's Consorts, opening a large hole beneath each girl. All of the Cecil's Consorts disappeared into the holes with screams of shock and surprise. Once Firion pulled his sword from the ground, the cracks and holes disappeared as if they never existed.

"What was that?" Torri asked, looking at the ground.

"Plot Holes, we use them for holding cells. The Lady in Red will deal with them sooner or later," Lightning explained, offering her arm to Firion. The Weapon's Master took the woman's arm and they both sat off deeper into the castle, Firioner trotting behind them, his spiked tail waving happily as the beads on his new collar jingled. Lana stared after them, eyes fixated on Firion's booty. He wasn't wearing his cape or armor today…

"Close your mouth, Lana, you're drooling," Torri commented. Lana shook her head; she had gone into a bit of a stupor when she had laid eyes on Firion.

"Why's he hanging out with her?" Lana asked, whining a bit. Morriah and Torri shared a look, chuckling softly. Guess which fangirl hadn't played Duodecim?

-X-X-

At the college, dinner occurred at 6:30 pm and all students were expected to return to their dorms by 8 pm with lights out promptly at 9. The Warrior of Light was especially fickle about that fact. Most everyone in the dorms was already bunked down, only a few still brave enough to face the punishments that came from staying in the common rooms. Lana lay curled up on her bunk, half-asleep while the others went over the day's occurrences, still a bit of energy in them.

"And that's when Firion opened up some Plot Holes, dropping the Cecil's Consorts out of sight," Torri finished, pulling a noise of delight from SquallGal.

"Shows what you get for chasing the three coolest girls from Dorm I!" SquallGal chirped. Nothing seemed to deplete her energy stores. "Bet you were happy to see FiFi, Lana."

"Dun call him that," Lana said sleepily. "He's not a poodle…" SquallGal giggled harder, clutching her pillow close. Morriah casually looked at the clock on their wall, humming.

"It's nine-fifteen… the Warrior's never let it go this long," Morriah commented.

"Perhaps he's busy," SquallGal suggested, lying down to crawl under her covers as Morriah dutifully got up to turn off their lights. Even if the Warrior wasn't here to make them obey, Morriah would do so anyways out of her adoration for the man. A lot of girls in the dorm were snubbing her because the Warrior was starting to show her a bit more kindness because she usually did as he asked without complaint and made others comply.

Lana curled up under her blanket with an unhappy sigh. She hadn't totally completed her summaries for Mateus due to the chase through the halls and seeing Firion with Lightning had made her stomach tie up in knots. It was the first time she had truly seen him up close and he had been with another woman, clinging to her like a lifeline. It wasn't fair…

-X-X-

Tidus and Jecht had been assigned watch duty that night. The pair were certainly not on speaking terms, so they made good guards. Tidus lightly bounced on the balls of his feet, nervous energy being used up by the action, the Warrior and the Lady had yet to return and that was agitating the Spry Striker. The Lady's Chaos opponent was a powerful warrior simply referred to as the Man in Black. He was the only Chaos-aligned warrior not to sign the truce and continue his attacks.

"You think they're alright?" Tidus commented aloud. Jecht snorted lightly, rolling his shoulders to keep limber in case of attack.

"The Lady's tough for a girl and she's got the Warrior to back her. Why? You bein' a worry-wart again?" Jecht replied with a chuckle. Trust his boy to be the one fretting over those two.

"Well, they've never been gone this long on a fight with the Man in Black," Tidus stated. Jecht was about to make a sarcastic comment in reply when both men saw someone approaching the gate. It was hard to tell exactly who or what it was in the darkness, so both Tidus and Jecht tensed, hands seeking sword hilts. As the figure came closer it was obviously the Warrior of Light. The man always seemed to give off a faint glow in the gloom.

"Finally! Cry baby here was starting to whine again," Jecht called, relieved that he didn't have to fight off more Mary Sues. ("Hey!" was his son's comment.)

"Fetch Yuna or Aerith immediately," the Warrior called back to them. It was then the father and son noticed that the Warrior was carrying a bruised and bloodied Lady in Red on his back. Her head lay limply on his shoulder.

Quickly, Tidus sprinted off towards the castle to get one of the white mages. Jecht stepped forward to take the Lady from the Warrior, who upon closer inspection had numerous wounds of his own.

"What the heck happened?" Jecht asked, carrying the Lady bridal style, her head cradled against his chest. Luckily, she was still breathing.

"Ambush. The Man in Black is allied with the Sues and Manikins. She was extremely lucky I decided to follow," the Warrior stated, pulling a Hi-Potion from his belt pouch and drinking it in one go, lightly grimacing as it burnt his throat.

"She's gonna be livid when she wakes up," Jecht stated as they headed towards the infirmary at a brisk pace, making sure not to jostle her too much.

"If she wakes up without having to be reset," the Warrior replied, expression grim.

-X-X-X-X-

To be continued…