The moon, the earth, the stars.
All these things would not exist if it wasn't for the beautiful woman in my life. The woman who I have loved for over half my life, but she loves another. She is sworn to him; a man who is Djinn and I would class as my friend. He will never know just how jealous I am that he holds the love of the one woman who should be with me. But I have to accept that he's won, he's managed to capture her interest, her heart, her love. And in return he has reciprocated all that as well as managed to protect her. If it wasn't for him she would be dead by now; I can't protect her nearly as much as he can. But that has never stopped me from trying. If only she knew just how deep my feelings go for her, the same feelings that I always dreamed she would reciprocate back.
But it shall never happen.
I lost the one chance I had to be with her, to hold her, to tell her day in day out how beautiful she is and how much I love her. I missed the chance to create a family with the woman I love. Strangely enough I have always wanted a family; me, my wife and our gorgeous children. I have fantasised about Jo being the mother to my children, I have thought about what they would be called; where we would live. Just the thought of seeing Jo, the woman I love, holding a baby. Our baby; the baby we created. But that one dream will never be.
Even to this day I do not know why I feel this strongly about her. Before me and Jo actually made love, I had feelings for her but after that intimacy my feelings only intensified. I crave the sparks that build up between us, I crave her touch; I crave her. She is the only reason my world still functions, if she were not in my life…well, then there would be nothing to live for. My life would be incomplete if she were not in it; I can live in this world as long as she walks it. Even though she will never be mine.
If you care for something, set it free.
That saying is the only reason why I won't admit my love to her and pursue her. Other than her true feelings lying with David, of course. I love Jo and I care for her more than I have ever cared for someone; so I set her free.
If it loves you, it will come back.
That is the second part of that old saying. I pray every day that that will be the case, and that one day Jo will come back. That one day she will realise that she loves me as much as I do her. But I cannot be weak; I cannot let myself suffer through this torture. That is exactly what this is; torture. Its torture having to watch her go around with David, to see that little spark of love and happiness she gains in her beautiful eyes whenever he's around. It hurts to see just how much she brightens up when he appears within her peripheral vision. I shouldn't have left this for so long, I should have told her how I felt the minute I realised it myself.
Now there is no chance for us to be together.
Just that simple thought makes my heart hurt and drop to the pit of my stomach. Not telling her how I felt right from the beginning is the biggest mistake of my life. One mistake that even I cannot fix. One mistake that will forever follow me for the rest of my life. But I cannot dwell on something that shall never be; I should look forward to the future and find something that will one day occupy that hole in my heart. The hole that she should have filled right from the beginning.