"H-hey Eric?"

"What Butters?"

"I'm kinda tired of playin' tea party with your dolls all the time...it's kinda, well girly."

Eric Cartman stopped stuffing his face with his mom's lemon bars and glared at Butters, before snatching his blonde friends raspberry and lemon tea away.

"Fine, asshole! Me and Polly Prissy Pants will just have to finish your food then!"

Butters clacked his knuckles together...he probably shouldn't of said that. Eric was gonna be awful sore at him now. Besides, it was nice to know that the school bully had a sensitive side...even if that did make him a total hypocrite. I mean, how many times did Eric make fun of him for liking Hello Kitty so much?

"Ah'm sorry Eric...it's just we always play tea-party."

Cartman pouted while adjusting Polly Prissy Pants so she was sitting up and not flopping over like the ragdoll she literally was. It was true - deep...deep...DEEP down, Eric Cartman had a somewhat sensitive, even effeminate side. Maybe it was because he never had a father figure, or maybe it was because he...might be...sortakindagaymaybe...but he always preferred playing dress up to playing sports. Or dolls and stuffed animals to action figures.

But only in private...or with Butters, but he didn't count. Butters was a pussy. He wasn't an asshole like Stan, Kenny or Kyle (especially Kyle, that sneak Jew-Rat) who would tell the whole school that big, bad Eric Cartman liked to play with pretty dollies.

At least he THOUGHT Butters would be cool about it...where did he get off calling HIM a fag? If anyone was a fag, it was BUTTERS!

"Whatevah...but don't call me a fag. You're the fucking fag."

Cartman muttered, while playing with Polly's hair absently now that she was sitting up.

"...Ah shouldn't have invited you to mah tea-party..."

"N-no I'm glad you invited me to your house, a-and I didn't call you a fag I just-"

"-You just think I'm a big ol' fag because I play with dolls. You just think it's soooooo funny and you can't wait to tell everyone at school about it! Fuck you Butters...I thought you were mah friend..."

Butters knew he shouldn't have said anything...Eric's feelings were clearly pretty hurt. Gosh darnit, why did he have to be such a little butthole all the time?

Butters scolded himself...before it hit him.

Friend...Eric thought he was his friend? Well Butters always thought so, but he never knew Eric felt the same way! So what would a friend do in this situation...

Butters got up from his little plastic chair, walked over to Eric and gave him a great big hug from behind.

Needless to say, Eric Cartman was completely unprepared for this. The fat and Anti-Semitic turd did not receive many hugs.

"Gah! B-Butters, what are you-?"

"Sssh, it's ok Eric...I-I'm not gonna tell anybody. Y-your my best friend, and so what if playin' with dolls is kinda faggy. Everybody's a little faggy deep down inside. Doesn't mean I love you any less."

Cartman coughed, blushing, before shoving Butters off of him.

"God dammit, Butters..."