"C'moooooon, Buttah's! It'll be fuuuuuuuun!" The tubby teenager whined, ruffling the blondes shaggy hair...until he stood up from his lap.

"I-I dunno, Eric...aren't we a little old to play dress up? After all, we are 15." Butters asked, while trying to fix his hair. This only got an indignant "humph!" from Eric Cartman.

"It's not 'playing dress up', ya fag! It's called role-playing! Besides it's sexah..." Cartman purred, pulling Butters by the waist back on to his bed, lightly brushing his big hands over his boyfriend's thighs. And while this would have normally shut Butters up, today Butters was not going to back down easily.

And he actually pushed him away!

"I-I just...do I hafta wear the Professor Chaos costume? I can get a little...dark when I'm in it."

Cartman, now recovered from the shock of Butters resisting his advances, rolled his eyes.

"Pffft, no you're not, I've seen you in that stupid thing. Ah'm not scared of you! And yeah ya gotta! Since we do it in mah house, in mah room, we're gonna do it mah way! Unless you wanna start havin' sex at your place..."

Cartman smirked, while Butters squeaked.

"N-no! We can't do that! M-my parents still think we broke up! If they catch us th-they'll send me to-"

"Jesus Christ, calm down I was kidding!" Cartman chuckled, loving the look of panic on Butter's face...like a frightened bunny. It was adorable."But seriouslah...go get your gay-ass Professor Chaos costume on so I can take it off."



Butters sighed heavily, finally defeated by those big brown eyes in that fat skull he loved so much.

"Oh...oh alright."

So Butters scooted himself into the bathroom, pulling his Professor Chaos costume out of his backpack (of coarse he still carried it with him...just in case things were a little too...orderly.) He slipped into the tights easy enough. The cape posed no problems either...but once the tinfoil helmet was left, staring at him from the bottom of his backpack...things gotta little tricky.


Butters fumbled with the backpack, but managed to save it from falling to the tiled bathroom floor.

I know what your about to do. This is a gross abuse of your power...

Butters gulped, gently pulling the helmet out of the bag and holding it to eye level.

"I...I know...but Eric, really wants this and-"

Oh well if ERIC wants it...really, do you always do what fat-ass wants? No wonder you need me...

Butters frowned, digging his fingernails into the sides of the helmet. "N-now wait just a minute, Mister! S-say what you will about me, but leave Eric outta this! Besides he's not fat, he's just got big ol' bones."

He's fat, and your an idiot! But go ahead and put me on, Butters...we mustn't keep fatso waiting...

Butters hesitated, before hearing 'fatso' bellow down the hallway.

"Butters, hurry the fuck up in there! Ah'm so horneh!"

"Sweetie, do you boys need anything? Popcorn? Condoms?"


"Eric, do we need to have another talk about safe sex?"


Butters sighed, before slowly slipping the helmet over his head.
"W-well if it's professor Chaos Eric wants..."

Then it's Professor Chaos Eric gets!

After laughing maniacally to himself for a good two and a half minutes, Butters raced down the hall and opened the familiar bedroom door...to find Cartman, bouncing up and down on the bed in his old Coon costume.

"The Coon will bring you to justice, Chaos!" He gestured dramatically to his lanky boyfriend, standing in the doorway while Butters grinned...this might be fun after all!

"Not likely, Coon!"

And Butters tackled him. Sure, it caught the Coon off guard for a minute but not too long. They were soon wrestling on the bed for dominance. And of coarse Cartman had the whole being a lard-ass advantage so Butters was squirming under him in no time...so hawt...

Cartman smirked at his helpless prey, breaking character for one, fatal moment.

"Heh...see Buttahs? I toldja this would be-"

CLICK! What the..!

"Butters! You black asshole, did you just handcuff me?"

"MWAHAHAHAHA! That's Professor Chaos, to you Coon!"

"Time out! Seriously Butters this isn't coo'!"

Butters ignored his pleas and crawled on top of his soft stomach...with a leer that Cartman decided that he hated right then and there.

"Aw, whatsa matter...you don't wanna play now that you're losing, Coon-breath? Or should I say...ERIC CARTMAN! That's right, I know your secret! I see you're speechless."

And Cartman was speechless...but not out of fear.

"Yeah not shit, Butters...you changed in my bathroom. Now get off!" Cartman ordered, rattling the cuffs that kept him tethered to the bed railing. Butters chuckled.

"Oh I intend to."


"But first...this pesky mask..."

Cartman tried to turn away, but Butters fingers found their way into his home-made mask...revealing a wide eyed Eric Cartman. Butters couldn't help but kiss him.

At first, Cartman didn't feel like kissing him back. He was pissed off! How dare Butters handcuff him to his own god damn bed! This game was HIS idea! But...soft, slippery lips and tongue and little moans and sounds eventually did him in like always. And just as he was enjoying himself, Butters pulled away.

"Heh...that's more like it...now, we can get started!"

What ensued was the craziest sex either boy could ever imagine. And they had both seen their fair share of fucked up shit. Hell, even the actors and actresses in "Backdoor Sluts 9" would bat an eye what they just did!

But in the midst of their frantic and clumsy teenage sex, Butters helmet had been knocked clear off his head. So the afterglow was a tad awkward for the blonde.


"Hmm?" Cartman hummed lazily, staring at a crack in his ceiling.

"I...I didn't hurt you did I?"

"Nah, ah'm fine..." He simply said, clearly thinking long and hard about something. Which was rarely a good thing, in Butters experience. Calm before the storm and all that.

"Umm...Eric? I...I didn't RAPE you, did I?"

Cartman finally looked at Butters.

"No, shut the fuck up with that shit! The next time we do that though, we need to pick a god damn safe word."

"N-next time?"

"Shut up, Butters..."

Cartman sighed, before taking the role of 'very big spoon.'