VanShi outtake, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl (rough draft) [censored version]

Summary: Xion wants to know why Vanitas is so upset at the mention of Christmas gifts.

A/N: Sooooo, this was originally a scene in an unpublished fic, but I later decided that it was too squicky to include. So,'s an outtake now. :/ Sorry if the lack of context is confusing.

"Kaze" is the Japanese word for "wind" (I used an é here to clarify the pronunciation, as was done with Naminé in KH).

This takes place in the Dive to the Heart, and is post-KH2. I wrote it long before much was known about KH3D.


Xion followed Vanitas to his pillar, where he suddenly rounded on her. "Go away!"

"Tell me what's wrong," she said.

"Get out!" His Keyblade materialized in his hand and he brought it crashing down on her, but she was ready, bringing up her own Keyblade to block.

"Stop acting like a baby."


Their battle raged around the pillar, for he was not holding back and she could not afford to. She eventually won, of course. Vanitas, despite his considerable skill, had never won a battle in his life, and Xion was a Hero of the Keyblade. Though a little battered, she avoided the worst of his desperation attack, healed swiftly, Dodge Rolled in close, blocked, cast a Blizzard spell in a successful feint to disarm him, and then managed to prevail with a Limit the second he knocked her HP low enough in retaliation.

Knocked flying, Vanitas lay very still for a long moment. It looked almost as if the sleeping stained-glass Ven was cradling him in its hand. Then Vanitas suddenly rolled upright and retreated.

"Why are you so upset?" Xion asked again, still gripping her Keyblade.


"Uh huh." She walked over and crouched before him so they would be on the same level, but he was still hiding his eyes from her.

"It's okay to cry, you know," she said softly.

He immediately swept his Keyblade at her. Having expected something of the sort, she blocked; he lunged, perhaps intending to pin her, but she rolled out of the way and shot a Thunder spell at the same time. He yelled as the line of electricity passed through him, and she winced in response, but knew that she could not afford to show mercy.

Xion swept to her feet and moved straight into a combo attack, raining brutal blows on him before he could recover. He did not even have a chance to cry out, and could only manage a low groan once it ended and he was allowed to collapse. Xion stabbed the Keyblade into the floor beside his head and kicked him onto his back. "Cry," she ordered.

He weakly tried to swipe at her legs; she kicked him again, this time knocking the blade out of his hand. He let out a wordless scream of rage and reached for his weapon with desperately outstretched fingers. Xion quickly dealt him a blow to the head and knelt on his arms while he was stunned, so that he couldn't move even when the Keyblade appeared back in his hand. "Stop fighting me, and stop fighting yourself. You need to cry."

"Shut up..."

She suddenly dropped forward and took his face in her hand, startling him into forgetting to struggle. "Vani," she said softly. "Even if it's true that you can't feel any positive emotion, it doesn't always have to be hate and rage. You're allowed to grieve, too, you know."

He was shaking. "K...Kiss me," he said.

She hesitated. Then she pressed her lips to his, and felt him flinch; he hadn't expected her to really do it. Then he was closing his eyes, arms straining against her hold as he tried to push past her lips, but she bit his tongue sharply in warning and sat back up. "No. Talk to me."

"I'll kill you." Void Gear clattered against the stained glass as Vanitas tried to get free.

"Kazé," she said, and he flinched again. She had once decided that she was never going to call him 'Emptiness' again, and the sentiment both delighted and enraged him. "So many times, people are wrong. I'm not just a worthless doll, and you're not just a vessel to hold darkness. You can be so much more, just like we've become. Don't let them define who you are, Kazé, because it's not true."

"If you call me that again, I'll kill you," he snarled.

"Which would make that the 23rd time you've said that. Just- just give in and show me the light I know you have in you. You don't have to speak a word. Just show me."

He fought his way loose and tried to kill her. She fought back, beating him without a shred of mercy until he was finally too broken to fight back. No longer able to lift his weapon, all his Unversed slaughtered before he could do it himself and get to their healing remnants, he finally broke down out of pure frustration at his own helplessness.

"Come here," she murmured, reaching for him.


She pushed aside the arm he'd raised to fend her off, and held him. It was a long time before he stopped resisting, but finally the sobs came freely and he managed to get out, "I...hate...Christmas..."

"But you hate everything," she said, a little puzzled because she sensed that he really meant it this time.

"No!" He suddenly seized her and dragged her over to the edge of the pillar. "Look!"

Xion looked where he was pointing. All around the pillar's edge, in both directions as far as she could see, were rows of tally marks scratched into the stone.

"Every day," Vanitas snarled, "every time it felt like a day, I made a mark. I lost count a lot and I slept a lot because I just couldn't stand it, but I did my best, and it was so long. Do you know how long I was alone?"


"SHUT UP." His mouth twisted. "I've done Christmas before. I've done it before." He took out something.

"Oh - that looks like a Wayf-"

"It's Ven's," Vanitas snarled. "He didn't want it."

Xion looked at him closely. He squirmed and was about to say something, anything, to shut her up, but then she said, "May I have it?"

He was shaking. "Smash it," he whispered as he handed it over.

But she held it close to her heart for a moment before tucking it carefully away. "Of course not. I'll take good care of it. You made it, didn't you?"

He looked away, fists clenched.

"It's beautiful."


"Yet you love me anyway," she chuckled.

"To pieces."

She kissed his nose and then quickly extricated herself from his embrace, though she kept hold of one hand. "Come on."

"Siiiiigh," he said pointedly, but walked with her back to Roxas's sunset-lit pillar willingly enough.


Author's Notes: I wrote this long before Stepsiblings: Wind's Legacy. Sometimes my plot bunnies get impatient when I take too long to write them, and at other times my story themes/tropes just kind of recycle themselves. :/ Not a problem for people who haven't read all my stuff, but if you have, I apologize for being repetitive...

Gah. Vanitas. Vani-freaking-tas. Seriously? As if this pairing wasn't squicky enough, then he has to start with his perv-talk, and because I can't resist banter, off Xion went playing along with him, and it got gross. *deletes rest of paragraph because it's not fair to talk about stuff you guys are never gonna read* VanShi's one of my favorite pairings, but it's extremely uncooperative. -.-