Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/N: I absolutely LOVE this movie. And FX has been putting on again and again; it felt like they were telling me "We're not going to stop playing it until you write a fic." Well, they were probably trying to get to a much better author, but I intercepted it. XD

Here's a little drabble that popped into my head. Takes place at Andrew's folks' home in Sitka.

Every Man's Worst Nightmare

Andrew Paxton was scared. And considering who he was married to, that is not an easy feat.

He prided himself on his bravery, actually. After proposing to Margaret in an authoritarian manner before all their colleagues he believed himself the bravest man in the world. (Actually, he was the luckiest man in the world) But, right now, he was downright terrified. For in the living room, in the aftermath of the Paxton annual Christmas bash, the worst thing possible was occurring.

His ex-girlfriend (the first woman he had ever proposed to) and his wife (the woman who had blackmailed him into a sham of an engagement) were talking.

It's not that he was worried about any potential cat fights. Gertrude was not the jealous type. Neither of the two times he was engaged to Margaret was she ever anything but friendly and welcoming. She was even a bridesmaid at their second, much more permanent wedding. And he had never given Margaret any reason to doubt his feelings for her. Not that she would ever stoop to any actual fist-fighting anyways.

Nope, what was scaring him so badly was how well they were getting along. How they were whispering, almost mischievously, with wide smiles on their faces. To make it worse, when he walked into the room their whispers ceased (a surefire sign that they were talking about him) just long enough for them to break into uncontrollable bouts of laughter.

He smiled grimly and quickly turned on his heels.

That was just what he needed. His wife and the closest thing she had to a best friend swapping embarrassing stories about him.

"Just shoot me."