KissMeDeadlyT-T: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, but boy do I wish I did... Warning: If you don't like yaoi, Edward Elric and Roy Mustang being gay, or anything else that you can assume will be in this fic, please get out. I warned you... Rated for chapters three and four and some innuendo in chapter two. This chap is pretty much just an intro to the story and that's it. Oh yeah, and please review, I'm not adding more chapters until I get some feedback. No point on continuing something no one will read...

xxXXxxXXxx

"Fullmetal," was the first thing I heard when I walked in to Roy's office to give him my report for today's mission, battle-weary and hurting like hell.

I wondered at first why he was acting so formally. I mean, who calls their boyfriend by his title, right? Then I noticed first lieutenant Hawkeye standing by his desk, grabbing a stack of papers, and it clicked. Ah, I had to act like we weren't dating and I hated his guts like the old days, which was pretty manageable. As much as I loved him, he really was an ass sometimes.

"Colonel," I said coldly in a mimick of his voice, tossing my braid over my shoulder and giving him my best cranky look.

"How'd it go?" he asked warily, like he was expecting bad news. Smart man.

"Well, let's see. I blew up the building by accident, blasted a few holes into some walls, flooded a part of the town, nearly lost all of my limbs, Al and I almost died and we didn't even come close to catching Scar." I counted each one of a metal finger. "It turned out wonderful. And how was your day?" I made sure my voice held a healthy amount of sarcasm, crossed my arms, tried to hide the wince of pain that caused and plopped down on one of the sofas in front of his desk.

There was disapproval in Roy's black eyes laced with some incredulous amusement. "I see," was all he said, his voice equally cold. "Lieutenant, would you go with Breda and Havoc to clean up Fullmetal's mess? I have some business to attend to and I don't have time to do it myself."

"Yes, sir," Hawkeye said respectfully, training a disapproving eye on me. I grinned and waved. With a sigh, she and the giant stack of papers left the room, clicking the door closed. As soon as I was sure no one would walk in, I hopped up and walked over to Roy's desk, sitting in front of him. He glared. I grinned.

"You're terrible," he said.

"I think I'm awesome," I grinned. "By the way, I didn't make that stuff up. It actually happened and they're gonna have one hell of a time cleaning it up."

His eyes were hard, but I could see him fighting a grin. He was stuck between pissed off superior and amused boyfriend. "I'm aware, Edward. You're too careless."

"And you love it," I said, swinging my legs. They were so damn short, they didn't even come close to touching the ground...

"I guess I do," he muttered. He looked up at me. "You know that I actually have nothing to do, right?" His eyes glinted and there was a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. He pulled me down onto his lap and I didn't resist.

"Is that so?" I asked, feeling his lips brush against mine. With my flesh hand, I lightly traced shaped onto his dark blue State Alchemist uniform. The Flame Alchemist was a perfect title for Roy. He was so hot, I sometimes felt like I needed sunblock. Okay, not really, but you get my point. If we were out, some people might think it weird for me to be attracted to an almost thirty year old and pedo-ish of Roy to be in such a relationship with me, fifteen years old... But age is just a number.

"Yeah..." he said against my mouth, "I can think of something, though..."

He pressed our lips together and I let him kiss me for a moment. I felt his tongue tracing the seam of my lips and opened my mouth, letting out a small sound as our tongues slid together. Damnit, did I want him to throw me down onto his desk and fuck my brains out. Unfortunately, I couldn't today. As his hands started fumbling around with my pants, I reluctantly pulled away, sliding off of his thighs and back onto his desk.

"Not today," I said, licking my lips.

"Ugh," he groaned in frustration, grabbing for me again. I slapped his hands away with my left hand, wincing slightly as I put all my weight on my automail one. He glowered at me. "Seriously, Ed? Don't be a tease..."

"Sorry, old man," I said, hearing him growl softly under his breath at the name, "but I actually have something important I need to do today. Remember how I said I nearly lost all my limbs?"

He nodded, still looking pissed.

"Well my leg is a little banged up," I continued, resting my metal leg on his armrest and lifting up the bottom of my pants. Just above where my boot ended, there were a few dents and scratches. They weren't too bad, but if they got any worse I would be in trouble. Roy just stared between my thighs. He had such a one track mind sometimes.

Ignoring that, I went on, "But my arm is really fucked up, look." I slid my black shirt down until my scarred shoulder and part of my chest was showing, and the messed up automail was completely visible. Roy was checking me out, I knew. I mean, come on, I'm pretty dang hot. Anyway, he was also staring at the broken automail with something like horror in his black eyes.

"Oh damn," he breathed, breaking out of horny perv mode and into worried boyfriend mode. "Are you alright?"

"Peachy." I looked down at my arm and couldn't help but wince. A few screws had popped out and for that reason, I couldn't properly move my arm. One piece of metal had snapped inwards, and every time I moved, it somehow brushed against a nerve, sending a red hot zig-zag of pain up and down my whole body. I'd definitely had worse, but it still hurt like hell.

Al was in pretty good shape, but he was still pretty banged up. Whether I liked it or not, we needed Winry.

"Al and I are gonna head to Resembool so Winry can fix it. She's usually pretty busy and probably can't catch a train down here, and if you want me to be doing any missions or... anything, actually, I'll need this arm fixed."

"I understand," Roy said, looking concerned but still kinda pissed. It was probably because now he had a bunch of missions that would have to wait, because I'm the only one awesome enough to do them. I could tell that he could see how much pain my arm was causing me, despite my best efforts to cover it up. "When are you leaving?"

I glanced at the clock. "In about twenty minutes. I should go." I pecked him on the lips and started to walk away, but he stopped me.

"Want me to come?" he asked. I was about to make a sexual joke, but thought better of it. I shrugged.

"If you want, and if you can manage to get away from the military for a few days." But now that he'd mentioned it, I did want him to come along. I'm sure Al wouldn't mind. He thought the way Roy made fun of me and I got pissed was hilarious. Plus, he never seemed to have a problem with me being bisexual... I'd have thought he'd act very differently, given as how he found out.

Let's just say, we forgot to lock the door and ended up with an unconscious suit of armor laying there.

"If you are coming, you'd better hurry up."

"How long will you be there for?"

"Well... it takes a few hours to fix the automail and then we usually stay a few days to make sure it's working okay. So, roughly two or three days."

"Got it. I'll meet you down at the station in fifteen." With that, he left his office, leaving me standing there with a grin on my face. Last time Roy was in Resembool was the time I'd fallen for him. Sitting in that wheelchair, he was the reason I got up and lived again. It was also the time after me and Al failed our human transmutation... but I didn't want to remember that, so I focused on the present and got my ass in gear.

xxXXxxXXxx

"Ed!" Al's echoing voice pulled me out of my sleep. I groaned, lifting my head off of Roy's shoulder (much to Alphonse's giggly amusement) and stretched, my back and all sorts of joints popping and crackling. Yawning, I asked groggily, "What is it, Al?"

"We're almost at the train station, and look! Look at Winry's backyard!" He pointed to where a small house could be seen in the distance, little puffs of smoke rising from the chimney, a high, barbed wire fence making a square around the back field. They didn't used to have that. I stared at Al flatly.

"Barbed wire, Al. Yipdee-friggin'-doo."

I swear Al rolled his eyes. It wasn't visible in his armor, but I could practically hear it. "Look inside the fence, brother." He sounded like he wanted to replace "brother" with "dumbass".

I sighed and looked again, and finally spotted what Al was so excited about. Just standing there in the middle of the field was a black horse, it's mane flowing softly in the wind. Al loved animal so much, I wouldn't be surprised if we opened his armor and found millions of kittens in there. I looked back at him and sweatdropped. He seemed to have stolen Armstrong's sparkles.

"D'you think we can ride it?" he asked excitedly, clearly not thinking. I felt a pang of guilt and hated to burst his bubble.

"Well... I don't know about you, Al."

Armstrong's sparkles disappeared, just like that, as he realized. Al's shoulders slumped with a dull clank. "Right."

"I'm so sorry, Al," I whispered miserably for what had to be the millionth time. I could apologize every second for the rest of my life and it still wouldn't be enough.

Al just looked at me and asked, "Do you think I can pet it, at least?" The way he did it made me able to clearly picture how he'd looked when he had a body, pouting because he wanted something. Big brown eyes that I couldn't say no to and a quivering lip that made me break down and do what he wanted. "Ed?"

I didn't know. Heck, it wasn't my horse. But I offered my little brother a small smile anyway. "I hope so."

Roy stirred at that moment, muttering something about bagels. No joke. Al and I stared at him until his eyes finally blinked open.

"Bagels, colonel?" Al asked, laughing a bit.

Roy just groaned. "My dreams are demented, okay?" He sat up, rolling his shoulders. "Hey, are we there?"

"Yup!" I said cheerfully, looking out the window at the place where Al and I had grown up. Every time we return here, it makes me think of all the good memories and fun times that had happened in this small village. Unfortunately, I also remembered the bad and horrible ones.

The train came to a squeaking stop. After we grabbed our small suitcases, we got off and headed up the dirt path that led to Winry's and eventually, the burnt remains of our house. The crunch under my boots was comforting and made me want to go back to my childhood, before It happened.

"Ed, Pinako Rockbell hates the military and me as well," Roy said calmly as Al knocked on the front door. "You know that, right?"

"She'll get used to you. She'll have to if she wants me around."

"Which she doesn't," Al cut in, but I ignored him. The door finally opened, revealing the one and only person in the world I was taller than.

"Granny Pinako!" Al said happily, prepared to glomp her. He then remembered how easily he could squish me like a bug and stopped, opting instead to wave excitedly and say, "Hi!"

I gave a half-hearted wave and grin at her familiar scowl and pipe.

"Hello, Alphonse, it's nice to see you're looking healthy. Edward..." She stared me down (up hehe) with her beady eyes. "You look like you've gotten shorter." I roared but Roy hastily grabbed my waist and held me back as Al did a facepalm.

"Say that again, you micro-mini old hag!" I yelled furiously.

Granny Pinako rolled her eyes. "What's the dog of the military doing here?"she asked in her croaky voice, which was hoarse and rough from smoking. She took a long drag from her pipe and blew it Roy's way. Roy had his cold and aloof face on and stared coolly back at her. Ugh, adults.

"He's with me," I said calmly, grinning evilly because I could actually look down at her and she had the nerve to call me short! "Where's Winry? Me and Al are pretty banged up."

"She's out in the back brushing our new horse, Honour. I'll go get her."

Pinako started to wander off, but Al said, "Wait! I'll go! I want to see the horse!" He rain past Granny Pinako with a loud clank clunk clank clunk sound. Next thing you knew, there were heavy footsteps and a loud growl echoing down the hallway.

"EDWARD!" Winry roared as she rounded the corner. Her blond hair was in its usual ponytail and she was filthy with grime, her wrench in her hand, as usual. I grinned nervously and hid behind Roy, peeking out from the side.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO CALL BEFORE YOU COME HOME?" Her blue eyes flashed.

"Uhh, hey Winry. How ya been?" I muttered nervously, knowing she wouldn't hear me, but being sarcastic anyway.

"AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR ARM THIS TIME?" she demanded, completely ignoring the fact that I was in hiding and she wasn't supposed to see me. "I BET YOU WERE BEING CARELESS AND DOING STUPID THINGS AGAIN, WEREN'T YOU!" She waved her wrench threateningly at me, and I had to admit, I was more afraid of her than Scar or Envy or Greed or any of the other Homunculi.

"I was not!" I snapped back, jumping out from behind Roy. He and Granny Pinako were watching us like we were a ping-pong match. "In fact, I was fighting the alchemist killer, Scar," I snarked. "You should be damn glad this is all that happened. At least this time I didn't lose the whole thing, or, you know, DIE! It takes one tough piece of ass to get away from him alive!"

"You should be more careful!" Winry retorted, her hands on her hips.

"I was being careful, idiot!"

"And drink more milk!" Winry was just being ridiculous now. "Maybe you wouldn't be the size of a pea if you did!"

"DON'T CALL ME SMALL!" Roy had to grab me again so that I wouldn't attack Winry. Damnit did she piss me off sometimes.

We stood there, glaring and huffing and me occasionally threatening her life when she called me shorty, bean, midget, shrimp, anything along those lines. It went on like that until Winry changed back from beast to girl and noticed Roy, who was still holding my arms.

"Hey, I remember you," she remarked. "You're that State Alchemist who came here a few years ago. Roy... Roy... something."

"Just Roy is fine. Or Colonel, but I'm on vacation right now." He smiled brightly at her, almost flirtatiously. Such a playboy.

"Short notice for a vacation," I muttered, but was ignored.

"Okay, Roy, then." Winry smiled. "What are you doing in Resembool? It's not exactly a great place for a vacation."

"My thoughts exactly," Granny Pinako said dryly, blowing a long stream of smoke out of her mouth. She eyed us with a raised eyebrow.

Before Roy could answer like a calm, rational person, I snarkily said, "He's with me, okay? Give it a rest."

"Ooooh," Winry said, her blue eyes widening. What the hell is it with everyone stealing Armstrong's sparkles today? They didn't suit Al or Winry at all. "Do you mean with you, or with you?"

I blushed. "What the hell does that mean, Winry?"

Roy just stood there and rolled his eyes. Winry inched closer to me and I eyed her warily. "You know, he's pretty hot. If you're not with him, I call dibs." She was whispering in that stupid stage-whisper thing people do, where everyone can hear you but you do it anyway for effect. Roy looked amused and I have to say, my reaction was pretty predictable.

"You cannot have dibs on him!" I snapped, grabbing onto his arm and latching onto his side like a koala. "He is mine, got it?"

Roy sounded as amused as he looked. "I didn't know that I was an object."

"You're not an object," I said, shooting a glare up his way. "You're just mine."

Granny Pinako rolled her eyes and muttered, "Oh boy, here we go." I was about to ask her what she meant when Winry squealed loudly, "He's your boyfriend?" Pinako sighed. Great, so Winry one of those girls, is she... I nodded and glared flatly at her and she looked ready to blow a brain circuit.

Granny Pinako took another long breath then blew smoke all over us. She wandered off with something like, "Always knew it" but I wasn't sure, so I let it go.

"Don't tell anyonein the military, not even Sheska," I ordered, loud enough so that the old bat could hear me too.

Winry just batted her eyelashes. Jeeze, for such a guy she sure acted like a girl sometimes. "Introduce us, Edward."

"Introduce yourselves," I said, pulling my arms out of Roy's grip and wandering over to the kitchen to find something to drink. I opened the ice box and scanned it for something drinkable. Milk... milk... expired orange juice... and more milk. What the hell? I made a face and slammed it shut, going to grab a glass of water from the tap. Back at the entryway, Winry and Roy were chatting. I guess I wasn't surprised that they were getting along. There isn't a girl alive that Roy hasn't worked his charms on, I swear. It looked like Winry was no exception, as she was giggling like a little girl and she told her about something or other.

This was just wrong, I tell you. Winry should not be acting like such a... a... well, a girl. It was just weird.

"Winry," I said calmly. "You're freaking me out."

"What?" she asked, twirling around to face me. "Why?"

"Because you're acting like a GIRL."

"I am a girl! Why shouldn't I act like one?"

"Because... you're Winry. It's weird."

"You're the weird one, Ed."

I just let the subject drop and stared at her flatly. I wasn't gonna forget this. Maybe I could use it as blackmail someday.

Winry looked from me to Roy, then back at me. "So, I wanted to ask. Do I have to keep this from Al, too?"

I nearly choked on my water when Roy casually said, "No, he walked in on us."

"What...?" Winry asked blankly. Then her eyes widened in realization. I hid behind my hair and blushed furiously as she squealed again. "Oh my goodness, you guys weren't!"

"We were indeed. In my office. On my desk." Roy smirked because he knew how embarrassed I got. I groaned and facepalmed as Winry gasped. Why did I ever think she was cute?

"Who... who bottomed?" she asked, her eyes sparkling sort of like they did when she got on the topic of automail.

"That is not being answered!" I yelled before Roy could even open his mouth. They both snickered. What the hell was it with people picking on me?

"What I would give to have been in Al's shoes..." she whispered, probably forgetting we could hear her. Roy just grinned wider, enjoying my embarrassment way too much. Sadistic bastard. I think my soul just escaped by my hanging open mouth.

My face red, my head snapped up and I blurted, "Winry!"

"Oh Jeeze! Sorry!" she said, fanning herself with her hands. Her cheeks were about as red as mine. "I don't know what I'm talking about, ignore me!"

"Kinda impossible, I snapped.

Her smile came back, though it was a bit demented as she tried to tone down the blushing. "You look so mature, Roy. I bet Edward is a real handful, huh?"

Roy smiled a bit. "No, he's too tiny to be a handful."

I growled and rounded on him. "You want a piece of me, Roy?" I screeched, ready to fuck him up.

"I would love one, but I really shouldn't..." he smirked, "there isn't enough of you to spare."

Oh man would Al love this. He thinks it's the funniest thing in the world, when Roy gets me all riled up like this. I glared at him and was about to give him the cuss out of his life, when Winry laughed and interrupted.

"Well, come on, Ed. Let's take a look at that automail."

I shot Roy a glare that promised much pain later and followed my mechanic up the stairs.

xxXXxxXXxx

"Okay, Ed. Get ready. On three."

I gritted my teeth as Winry positioned my newly fixed metal arm at its socket.

"One..."

Roy was watching from the wall next to me with an almost disinterested face, but I could see curiosity in his black eyes, and also a bit of worry. He didn't like to see me in pain, unless he was the one causing it.

"Two..."

I squished my eyes shut until colourful fireworks bloomed behind my eyelids. My flesh hand was making a fist in nervous anticipation. This was the worst part, when the nerves were reconnected with the automail. It almost made me want to just go around one-armed.

"Three!"

In a quick, extremely painful motion, Winry put my arm back into place. I jolted and gasped, biting my bottom lip. Roy winced slightly, looking like he wanted to grab me, but he stayed where he was. And then, just like that, it was over and I was left with only a dull pain that would disappear soon enough. I sighed and slumped over in relief.

Rolling my shoulders, I said, "Thanks, Winry. You didn't forget anything this time, didja?"

Winry frowned and put her wrench down. "How insulting. Of course I didn't. Now go." She made a shooing motion. "Go fix Alphonse so you idiots can go out and destroy yourselves again."

I grinned at her. "I love you sometimes." I stood up and stretched, noticing when Roy watched me with something like hunger. Just 'cause I'm a tease and sometimes a bit slutty, I stretched further, making sure to show off my catlike flexibility and a good sliver of my toned stomach. I didn't miss his eyes darkening and smirked.

"Feels great, Winry!" I grinned. "I'll go find Al!" I ran off, ignoring the death stares from Roy.

xxXXxxXXxx

KissMeDeadlyT-T: So? Did you like it? Hate it? Want more? Want me to die in a hole and never ever write anything again? Please review and let me know!