Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did, Sakura(no offense Sakura lovers) would be dead by now D. Thoughts
I knew. I knew it from the beginning; you never loved me. I was just something you could quickly dispose of. But I knew that already. I stilled loved you. I didn't care, as long as I could be with you. I believed my place was right at your side, and for a short while, I thought you felt the same. I looked out the window. I looked down; there you were, standing there with your true love. She was beautiful. She was smart. She was my best friend. She was a woman. Part of me wished I could have been born a woman. Then the love I felt for you would be right. No one could look down on our love, not even you. I knew you felt disguised with me and with yourself. Whenever we embraced, you wouldn't allow me to see your face because of the pain and hatred. I knew it…yet
Damn. I bit my bottom lip drawing blood. I wish I could hate you. I looked back to the front of class. My chest was burning, and my heart twisted. I knew it. Yet I still did this to myself. I held my chest where my heart was. I destroyed myself, with my own hands. I laughed a little and smiled at myself, by my own hands.
I didn't notice when the bell went off until the room was empty. I slowly drew myself up. Before I left, I looked back at the spot where I saw him. I will leave my feelings here and give up. I felt a tear run down my face, and I grinned. This is all your fault; you gave yourself false hope.
It would take a while to get his face out of my head. To get the color of his dark, threatening eyes out of my head. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forget his big, strong, hands. The hands that set my body on fire. No. I'll probably remember them for the rest of my life.
I looked at the entrance. My friend, Sakura, stood there. Her eyes were gleaming, and her smile brighter than ever. She was the object of my loves affection. She's the one he wants. I guess if I had to lose to anyone, it would be her. She was a very important person to me. They both were.
"He said yes," she said smiling and running up to me, "he said he'll go out with me."
I already knew this, yet the words actually coming from her mouth penetrated my heart like sharp blades. I put on one of my brightest smiles.
"That's great Sakura-chan," I patted her back, "I'm happy for you." I said holding back the tears.
She started babbling about something, but I didn't really pay attention. We walked to our next class together. Sasuke would be there to. I really couldn't bear to see him right now. My façade might crumble. When Sakura spotted him, she ran up to him gleefully. Shit. I would have to face him, and I was determined to hide my feelings. I would not allow him to see my pain. I followed after Sakura.
"Congrats," I smiled giving him a light slap on his arm, "you're a lucky man."
He flinched and glared at me. I was in shock but quickly recovered. I see. So that's how it is. I just smiled and walked to the seat next to Sai. I used to always sit by Sasuke…
"Hey sexy," Sai grinned.
I wasn't in the mood for his flirting. I glared at Sai.
I blinked a couple of times because someone else had intervened. It was a voice I knew all too well. Sasuke looked pissed; he shot one of his famous glares at Sai, who looked almost like his twin. Except for the hair and Sai's skin was much paler. "What are you, his guard dog?" Sai replied, playing with one of my blonde curls.
An idea popped in my head. I could use Sai to rid myself of Sasuke. I grinned sexily at Sai, going closer to him and kissed his neck. I looked back at Sasuke whose face was slightly pale but with no emotion. Like always. I chuckled bitterly towards myself; he's not even a bit jealous.
"It's okay Sasuke," I smiled, "don't worry about me."
Sasuke just walked away; his fists were clenched. He's got the love of his life, and he's upset because his little toy found someone else to play with him. "Hmm," Sai whispered close to my ear, "you're a bad boy Naruto." After class was over, Sakura and Sasuke came up to me.
"Naruto, we're going to go out to eat, wanna join?" Sakura asked sweetly.
I rubbed the back of my head shyly, "Sorry Sakura-chan. I'm going to Sai's house today."
"Awh. Alright then," she tugged on Sasuke's arm, "let's go get Lee and everyone else."
"Hn," he replied. He didn't look at me once.
So he didn't care where I went or with who? That would make sense. I didn't really plan to go by Sai's house. I just couldn't stand to be around them. I went home and took a shower. I cried. I cried so much. The hot water splashed over my cold body. My body was decorated with his marks all over my chest. I fell to my knees and held my body.
I was pissed. That little bastard, if Sai even touched my blonde I'll kill him. I should have just told Naruto then. I knew he was looking through the window at me and Sakura. He probably thought we were getting together, but we weren't. She apologized for chasing after me for so long and finally realized she loved Lee. Not that I cared. After that, she had thought it was ok to be a little clingy. I didn't bother to stop her as punishment for Naruto. The day before, he told me I should just date Sakura; he said it with a stupid smile too. I thought if he saw us he would grow jealous. I only agreed to go out to eat with her because I thought Naruto would be going too. However, he went over to Sai's house. I clashed my fist against the wall. I swear if that asshole lays a hand on Naruto.
After school, I ran straight to Sai's house. I didn't see Naruto or Sai. I concluded that they must have gone to Naruto's house. I ran to Naruto's house, my heart racing. I used the spare key to open the door. When I walked in, I quickly went to Naruto's room.
He was lying on his bed; he was naked. He had red marks all over his body and cum splattered on his stomach. His eyes were open slightly, and his beautiful blue eyes held a lustful look. His face was flush, and his blonde curls fluttered around his face. I felt my pants tighten, but I was also pissed. So Sai had been here. Laying his dirty hands on my Naruto, I was beyond pissed.
"Sasuke," Naruto mumbled, "what the hell are you doing here?"
He quickly tried to cover himself up.
Fuck. He caught me. He'll hate me. I felt the tears rise. Before I could say anything, Sasuke pounced on me.
"Where is he?" he spat. He was angry. I've never seen him like this before.
"Who?" I screamed. What the hell was he talking about?
"Don't play dumb with me Naruto," he yelled, "you're nothing, but a little slut"
I felt the anger rise in my chest, and I pushed against him, "Get the fuck off me teme."
He took off his tie and pulled my hands above my head, tying my wrist to the head board.
"What the-" He smashed his lips against my mouth.
"You don't care who does this to you do you?" he traced the red marks with his fingers. He dug his nails into my skin. I screamed. I watched as the blood oozed out; he brought his lips to the cut he made, and he licked the blood and sucked on my skin. He moved up to my nipple blowing on it. He took it in his mouth biting down hard.
"Ahh…nngh…s'aske" I mumbled, "please…"
"Please what? Fuck you? So you weren't filled with Sai? You're greedy hole still wants more huh?"
Sai? He thought I was like this because of Sai? I clenched my eyes, "No…Sai" I attempted to tell him, but I lost my voice, due to his actions.
An almost animalist growl released from Sasuke's mouth, "Now you're calling out for him?"
"No…" I yelled.
But Sasuke ignored me.
"I'm not gonna even prepare you. I'm sure Sai already did." He said. I felt his dick thrust into me. It burned. I screamed even louder.
He pounded his dick in and out of my asshole. Soon the pain became pleasure. I couldn't surpass my moans. Sasuke sucked my neck greedily. I couldn't stand it. I wanted him to finish. I knew he hated me but this much? When I felt him release inside, he didn't pull out right away.
"Why?" I cried
I looked at his face. I could tell he was regretting what he had done. It was all over; we couldn't even be friends. He kissed me gently on my neck. I didn't have the strength to fight. I just laid there asking him why.
"Why," he said, "why'd you sleep with Sai? Huh?" he asked hurt.
"I didn't sleep with him," I croaked, "I lied. I-I couldn't see you two together. I couldn't"
The tears wouldn't stop. Sasuke's face grew gentle and ashamed.
"Oh Naruto," he kissed my eyelids gently, "my Naruto," he wiped the tears from my eyes.
"I love you. I only love you Naruto. I was trying to make you jealous by using Sakura. Besides she's going out with Lee."
I looked up at in shock. My face grew hot. I looked down.
"I hate you," I said calmly, "I hate you."
Sasuke held me. He untied my hands and kissed the burn marks on my wrist.
"Don't touch me," I yelled. I glared at him. How dare he? He raped me. All this was his fault.
"Naruto. I'm sorry. I was so angry. I thought you gave yourself to another man."
I yelled at him, "and I thought you gave yourself to a woman, but I didn't rape you!"
"I didn't mean it," he pleaded. I looked into his eyes. They shined with love and guilt. I love him. I love him too much, but he also loves me. I cried and clung to him. I repeated his name over and over again telling him how much I hated him. He just held me and kept saying how much he loved me. I finally fell asleep in his arms.
I felt his body relax into mine. I kissed his forehead gently.
"I'm sorry, but I'll never let you leave me. Never. I'll cage you up if I have too."