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Memoirs of the Broken
The memoirs of two, different people, reflecting over their relationship and feelings over two important women in their lives - Alice and Lorina Liddell
She hated her. Edith Liddell hated her elder sister, Alice.
Many had dismissed her assertions as the product of a harmless sibling dispute. After all, disputes between sister were not uncommon. It was only a matter of time before Edith's blatant discontent would dissipate into mild toleration, allowing the two girls to properly deal with any differences and make up. Besides, Edith was notorious for her volatile temperament, freely lashing out at anyone who dared defy her. It was just something people eventually got used to and learned to ignore.
Edith assured everyone that her animosity towards her elder sister was not unfounded. She honestly hated her and wanted nothing to do with her.
Despite her proclamations that she was unwilling to associate with Alice in any way, the youngest Liddell found herself storming through the halls in search of that one person she utterly despised.
Edith was starving. There was no one else she could turn to other than her elder sister. Their father was working triple overtime at his job and wasn't due home until some time the next day. Considering that and Edith's relative uselessness in the kitchen, their father relegated the task of babysitting to Alice, if, of course, the young woman was willing and able.
To Edith, it was a blatant act of betrayal. Her father was aware of Edith's feelings towards Alice, yet her still left her alone with her.
Her footsteps turned into loud, angry stomps, resounding very much like a violent stampede of elephants storming through the African savannah.
She didn't let such treachery go like the docile girl everyone expected her to be. She fought her father tooth and nail, accusing him that his actions as demeaning. She was old enough to stay home by herself, and it seemed cruel to give her a babysitter, let alone someone she could not stand.
To her consternation, her father dismissed her arguments as complete nonsense. He ignored her entirely and simply questioned the degree of her abhorrence. Edith and Alice were sisters; it was impossible for her to hate Alice as much as she claims. She probably only assumed her feelings were hatred when she actually felt something else. Whatever caused Edith to be so upset was purely hypothetical and sorely overblown. He scolded her that she needed to stop acting so childishly and think prudently for once.
Then her father ended the discussion at that, bestowing this frustrating punishment she felt she did not deserve.
It was too late now. Edith wanted food and Alice was the only one who can make it for her. Still, as she marched down the halls in search of her elder sister, Edith found herself fuming.
How dare her father be so cruel with her! She was not acting childishly or confusing her feelings with something else. If only he saw Alice the way she saw her that day, he would understand. If only he saw that blank, dead look on Alice's face when their mother and Lorina died, he would understand her feelings completely.
At both funerals, Edith was sobbing profusely. Everyone was quite moved that the youngest daughter cried over her mother and pitied her even more when the youngest sibling lost a sibling as well. Edith did not want comfort from sympathetic strangers. She wanted to be with her family. She wanted to be with her sister.
Everyone loved Lorina. She had the beauty and the brains while Edith and Alice fought for whatever scraps that were left in the gene pool. There was no denying that their father favored Lorina while their mother favored Alice. Though both parents claimed they loved the three of them equally, Edith knew better.
She never resented her sisters. She worshipped Lorina, hoping in her heart she could grow up exactly like her. Edith was envious of Alice. The middle child seemed as if she got everything Edith craved – a handsome boyfriend, their doting mother's affection, and even Lorina's undivided attention.
That was why she expected Alice to understand and share in her grief. Alice should have been able to understand what it was like to lose two people who cared so much about her.
What she saw instead was unacceptable. When she finally found her elder sister, Edith had never seen Alice look so empty and indifferent, looking at their mother's and sister's graves with unfeeling, dispassionate eyes. The sight disturbed her.
Edith tried garnering a response, wanting to prove to herself that Alice cared for their mother and sister just as much as they did. Despite her attempts, Alice did not move a muscle, staring vacantly into space and not saying a word.
The sight infuriated her. Did Alice even have a heart? Didn't she care for their mother and Lorina at all? If Edith had even an iota of love that both women showered Alice, she would be completely devastated. Alice did not even bother shedding a tear. She had lost and given up everything – her boyfriend, her mother, and sister – and yet she seemed as if she did not care.
Edith despised her for it.
The day of Lorina's funeral, when she saw that emotionless, detached gaze on her sister's face once more, Edith vowed that she will never forgive her. Edith hated her, hated her with a burning passion because her sister clearly did not love their mother and sister as much as they loved her… as much as Edith loved them and craved their attention.
She would be happy if Alice just left her life forever. She never wanted to see her face ever again. Edith would be better off by herself.
"Alice!" she shouted, hammering her fist on her sister's door. An empty stomach made her impatient and irritable, and it threatened her to fall into a hunger-fueled tantrum. "Alice, didn't you hear me? I'm hungry, and you need to feed…"
Her words died at her lips when she finally opened the door. She fell impeccably silent. All she saw was an empty room. She slowly stepped inside.
Her gaze was attracted to a piece of paper. She examined it quickly, recognizing the handwriting instantly. Her eyes widened. There was only one word scribbled on the piece of paper, and that one word seemed to speak volumes to her.
Edith froze and stared, trying desperately to make sense of it in her mind. Edith recalled vaguely that her sister was thinking of leaving the Liddell household. Alice wanted to move out and go elsewhere, explore the world around them. Edith had merely scoffed at her sister's words, believing she wouldn't do it. She had been talking about moving out for ages, and Alice had never made any indications of doing so. That was until now…
She shook her head, choosing denial.
No, Alice wouldn't do that to her! She wouldn't just leave her alone without a single warning! She had to somewhere still in the house. Convinced by that single thought, Edith dashed out the room, gripping that tiny piece of paper. Her breath came out in frenzied, erratic bursts. Her frantic footsteps echoed all throughout the empty halls.
"Alice! Alice, where are you?"
All she heard was a disturbing silence. She continued her search the Liddell household for even a glimpse of Alice… and saw nothing.
Edith then sunk down onto the floor, staring at the empty darkness surrounding her. All adrenaline and ire escaped from her systems, leaving her empty and cold. She panted heavily, finally accepting the facts.
"Alice is… gone?"
Alice was really gone. She really left her. Edith Liddell was all by herself.
"And… it's my fault… isn't it?" She was blinded by her resentments and jealousies and pushed her away. She never expected to have pushed Alice out of her life.
"Alice is gone… my sister is gone…" She curled up against the floor and stubbornly rubbed her eyes, trying to will this strange, stinging sensation to stop.
She had always wanted to be by herself… and now she got her wish.
A/N Notes: I wrote a portion of this a long time ago, but forgot to complete it. Now that I rediscovered it, I managed to finish it all up! Woohoo!
I planned this as a three part fic, the first two discussing two individual characters. The first is in Edith's point of view. As for the next person… I bet you guys can guess who I'm thinking of. :]
idk if I will continue this. If I do update, it will probably be at my own leisure.
Anyways thanks for reading!