(A/N: I hope you enjoy this. This is my first Phineas and Ferb fanfic. It came to me when I read a B2 (Buford and Baljeet) fic where it was age-appropriate (romance for ten year-olds) and I thought: hey 'Sandria. I bet you could make an age/species appropriate Perryshmirtz
I can't explain when it really happened or when I began to realise it, all I can say is that it was obvious. I was in love with my nemesis.
Now if this were some inane babblings of a fangirl writing a fanfiction through my voice then there would be some carnal affection for the teal-coloured, semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammal of justice but I can assure you that my love is pure. Well, at least more pure than my love for my ex-wife was, anyways. Also, if this were a fanfiction, I would be building one of three -inators: a human-inator (to turn said Ornithorhynchus anatinus into a more attainable Homo sapien), a speak-the-same-language-inator (to allow one lonely neutral-evil scientist to communicate with his silent—except for the occasional "Rrrkrrkr"—frenemy), or a platypus-inator (to reverse the scene described with the first -inator). However, as I have stated before, this is not a fanfiction; this is real life. And in real life you can't just use an -inator to fix all of your problems (since it seems that most -inators cause your problems in the first place)...you have to learn how to fix them on your own.
Easy, right? Just confess. Say "Hey, Perry the Platypus, I love you—and not in that 'I like to love animals' way—in the 'I truly truly love you' way!" Or even just say "Rrkrrrkr" which I believe is platypus for "I love you" (Which is completely different from his classic "Rrrkrrkr". I don't know what that means.)
So—in lieu of the confession—I've been sending signals to him, hoping he'd notice. They're subtle (well I think they're subtle) and since he's a secret agent and all he should pick up on them. The major one is my -inators. Lately I've been so focused on seeing him instead of conquoring the Tri-state area that my -inators are flat at best. For example: my latest -inator was the Popcorn-Removal-inator ("Ever get that one kernel of popcorn stuck in the back of your throat—auch-! it's so annoying—anyways, I have developed a ray that creates a wave-particle sequence that dislodges that annoying kernel.") There really was no way I could use that -inator to take over the Tri-state area but he stopped me anyways.
Maybe I'm being TOO subtle. I wish I could just make a Notice-My-Affection-inator and point it towards Perry and FIRE! But I can't. It just wouldn't work. So, for now I just have to tough it out and hope he notices on his own. Just wait until this unrequited awkwardness ends. But he probably won't...
Curse you Perry the Platypus...