(A/N: Since my iPod is being stupid I have to post them together, one right after another. Hope you like my story! Also: is it just me or is Heinz Doofenshmirtz just a SMIDGE cynical in the first part? And did you catch the Fourth-Wall-Breaking-inator moment I added in there? Didja?)
((Perry the Platypus aka: Agent P of the O.W.S.C.A.))
I loved him. It was a long time coming, true, but I did. I loved Heinz Doofenshmirtz of Gimmelshtomp, Druselstine. I loved my nemesis.
It wasn't the kind of love I saw Linda and Lawrence express in their bedroom at night (the main reason I sleep with Phineas and Ferb or Candice) nor is it the love I have for my family. It's a new kind of love - completely alien to me. It's the type of love that, would it not worry them out of their minds, I would abandon my cover with the Flynn-Fletcher family and live undercover with Doctor D. It's the kind of love that makes me satisfied just seeing him. It's the kind of love where I fantasise about sitting in his lap, having him pet me and rub that one spot on my neck that makes my tail spring up.
It's not like I haven't told him I love him. Very few people realise that the only phrase a platypus actually vocalises is "I love you". Everything else is communicated via pheromone release, body language, and a few facial expressions. So whether I say "Rrrkrrkr" or "Rrkrrrkr" or even "Rrrrkkrkrkrkkkr", it means the same thing.
"I love you."
But I suppose we won't ever be able to get past the whole "mortal enemy" thing, huh?
LOOK AT ME! Here I am moping on about you like Candice does Jeremy and I'm supposed to be "protecting the world" from YOU. The one I love. Messed up world we live in, eh Heinz?
All I can do to express this unrequited awkwardness is talk. Just one phrase...