Big thank you to Obsessedtwibrarian (OTB) for looking this over and correcting all of my mistakes.
Alice could vaguely feel her lips pull into a small smile as a vision of Jasper filled her sight. It was nothing special, simply showing him moving about in the forest during the hunt with his brothers, but the glimpse of him comforted her.
Visions of Jasper came the easiest to her, so easy in fact that when they were apart they filtered through her mind a couple hundred times a day without any prompting. They only lasted milliseconds; flashing through her mind in the time it could take a human to blink. It was as if her mind was simply trying to reassure her that he was safe, that he was alive, which allowed her to hold onto her sanity.
Then she could no longer see him; his face swallowed up in a sea of black. Her breathing cut off instantly as her throat constricted tightly. Her eyes began dart around frantically. Her fingers drove into the wood of her desk when still all she could see was black. She pulled herself from the vision, shaking uncontrollably as she began to hyperventilate.
Some part of her brain tried to insist that Jake or Seth had simply crossed his path and was now blocking him from her sight. Edward and Bella had disappeared more times than she cared to count, which always concerned her slightly, although it annoyed her more than anything else.
Yet a larger part of her brain insisted that that did not matter. He had disappeared from her sight and in eighty-seven years that had never happened. It was different when she could not see because of the wolves presence; she was learning to accept that with them around her visions were not always going to come through. But in this instance, she had seen Jasper and then had lost him in the middle of vision, and that was what scared her. Before the wolves, a black future had only meant one thing: they no longer had a future.
Flying up from her chair she began to throw things off her desk, her eyes desperately searching the solid oak wood as things went flying. A snarl pushed past her lips when her phone went soaring. She spun neatly on her feet and caught it in midair before it had a chance to hit the ground.
Unsteadily she reached out to flip open her phone, stilling completely when it snapped in half in her haste to open it. Snarling angrily, she threw the phone as she ran out of her bedroom and into the kitchen, not caring when it broke apart in several pieces.
She forced herself to calm down slightly so as not to break the phone in the kitchen as she pulled it from its cradle. Her finger stilled over the buttons when she heard Emmett's booming voice. She barely registered dropping the phone in her haste to leave the kitchen, her panic lessening just slightly when she saw Jasper standing in the doorway.
She threw herself into his chest, wrapping her arms around him tightly. He stumbled back slightly from the impact. She could vaguely hear him trying to comfort her and ask what was wrong, but all she could focus on was the sound of his voice. He reached up, gently trying to pull her from his body so that he could talk to her, but this only caused Alice to tighten her arms around his waist in panic.
"You disappeared," she murmured shakily into his chest as her fingers tightened into his shirt. She did not care how pathetic she looked, clinging to him like a small frightened child. The irrational thought entered her mind that if she let go he might disappear for good.
She had not realized he pulled her from the main entrance seeking the comfort of their room, until he settled upon their bed.
"Alice," he called softly as he pulled her into his lap. She gave no response, and instead held him tightly and relished when he tightened his arms around her and held her securely to his chest.
It was one of her biggest fears and one he'd been well aware of since early on in their relationship. She had confessed it after a moment of love making, while she lay wrapped tightly in his arms. She had spoken to him of her fear that he would disappear; that meeting him and everything up unto that point had been nothing more than an elaborate vision created out of severe loneliness. She had spent twenty-eight years with no real connection to anyone other than Jasper, and even that had been hollow.
It had warmed her when he'd quietly admitted that he had the same fear: that his life was simply too good to be true and that none of it could possibly be real. That it was just some delusion that he had created due to the crippling depression.
"I'm not going to leave you," he murmured before pressing his lips to the crown of her head.
"I'm being so stupid," she whispered into his chest, still squeezing him tightly and refusing to allow even a fraction of space between them.
"No, you're not," he replied comfortingly removing one arm from around her. He placed his hand on her upper back, rubbing in a soothing circle in an effort to calm her.
His presence alone helped, although she could not bring herself to fully relax. She could feel the calming affects of his ability licking at her, desperate for her to feel better, though she knew it was an unconscious effort on his part. He never tried to influence her emotions; he never really had to. Because of his past, he craved a positive emotional environment, so much so that he often lightened the mood around himself without any thought.
"What happened?" he questioned. His hand never stopped moving and his arm remained locked around her waist.
"You disappeared," she murmured shakily. "I was having a vision of you and then you were gone." Everyone was aware of just how protective Jasper was of her and how much he relied on her to keep him grounded. She doubted anyone-including Jasper-truly knew how much he meant to her.
He had been her first memory, the first thing she had seen and since that moment her existence had centered on him. Even back before she had physically known him, visions of him had been the most frequent. And while visions of the Cullen's had led her to a more suitable diet, Jasper had always been her compass; guiding her through a world she could not really make sense of.
She did not know a world where he did not exist, and knew that she would not be able to handle a world if he did not. The others all knew a life prior to their mates, something she could not even began to fathom. She had known him better than she had known herself. He had been her only certainty when everything in her life had been a question.
"Jake and Seth met up with us, and blocked your vision," Jasper said suddenly coming to the realization as to what had happened.
Alice nodded meekly in response, burrowing her face even further into his chest. "I don't want to talk anymore," she pleaded softly.
Jasper shifted, pulling them further up on bed, never once loosening his grip; knowing it was the last thing she wanted. He curled up with her at the head of the bed, tucking her comfortably against his body, and spoke no more.