Peter had known for a while, known that he was different from the other boys in his class. When the boys had started to reach "that age," they would spend time in the locker rooms or the dorm common rooms talking about how the girls were, ahem, developing; but Peter didn't take any pleasure in these conversations. Then, in 8th grade when Zach and Rory became the first in the class to try dating, Peter still didn't think of girls that way.
Over the summer, he prayed more than usual, worried that something was wrong with him, and asking God what it was. He didn't find the answer until he began freshmen year, and was assigned a new roommate. Then he finally understood. All those feelings his classmates had been talking about feeling for Ivy and Kyra, that was what he felt for this new boy. Jason. Good looking did not even begin to describe him, beautiful would be a much more appropriate word. He was tall, with broad shoulders, dark hair, and brilliant blue eyes. He had a way of looking at life that stunned Peter. Everything from the way he moved, to how he was so devoted to everything he did, to how he could cheer Peter up from even the most gloomy of moods had Peter captivated.
As freshmen year flew by, Peter grew more and more attached to his roommate. He relished in times when he would come back to the room to find playful notes from Jason, and loved even more the nights they would stay up late talking about anything and everything. He was finding it harder and harder to contain himself around Jason. Particularly when Jason returned to their room after showering, hair wet and lacking a shirt, or when he would stay awake at night and listen to Jason sleep. His steady breathing and gentle snores never failed to soothe Peter.
However, all of Peter's emotions were bittersweet. Right next to all the affection he felt, was so much fear. He was petrified at what would happen if Jason ever figured out what he was really thinking. He had been considering it for a while, and while he could admit that his feelings for Jason were strong, he was still afraid to use that word. He couldn't tell anyone. As much as he knew he needed to talk about what was going on inside him, he knew he wouldn't be able to. Not his Mother, not the priest, and certainly not any of his friends. So he stayed all locked up and hidden inside, content to gaze at Jason from afar.
He went on this way for much of that year. But because of this nothing could have prepared him for what happened next.
One afternoon in late May, Peter was sitting at his desk in his dorm room, trying (though not really succeeding) to study for finals. He had almost finished for the day when in burst his roommate, Jason McConnell.
"Hey Peter!" he exclaimed, "yearbooks are in." He held up a thin navy book that read "St. Cecilia's Catholic School 2007" on the cover in elaborate gold script. "Sweet," Peter replied "Lemme see it." He reached for the book. Jason snapped his hand away, saying "I haven't even looked at it yet grabby." He motioned with his head at his bed. "Come look with me."
Peter swallowed hard as he rose from his chair and walked over to sit on Jason's bed with him. Living with Jason was hard enough, but sitting next to him on his bed was almost too much for Peter to handle.
The next 25 minutes passed painfully slowly as they looked at the yearbook together, laughing at dumb photos that had been taken, and remembering all the good times they'd had that year. Finally, the got to a page titled "Student Life." The page was filled with pictures of all the students relaxing in the library or smiling at sporting events. Jason noticed one more picture accidentally covered by Peter's thumb, he reached over to brush it aside, heat flying through him as their hands touched. He quickly pushed the feeling to the back of his mind and glanced at the picture. It was of him and Peter, one night after Lucas' birthday party, Jason's arm slung casually over Peters shoulders, smiles on both their faces.
Jason smiled again, remembering that night. Peter hadn't noticed the picture though, he was still in recovery from the brief touching of their hands. Without thinking, he turned his head away from the book and towards Jason, his eyes downcast. His heart was pounding and his face was flushing. Jason was all to aware of Peter's shift, and absentmindedly reached back and took his hand again, this time holding on. Peter inhaled sharply, and Jason could feel his own breathing quicken. Jason looked at Peter, and watched as Peter's eyes slowly made their way from his chest up to his neck, lips, and finally eyes.
They stared at each other for a moment, each wondering what would happen next, daring the other to make a move. Jason finally took a deep breath and moved his lips towards Peter's. That first kiss was everything a first kiss should be: gentle, innocent, and peaceful. Just lips resting on lips. They pulled away, both staring at the other. Fear mixed with electricity danced between them, and before Peter knew what he was doing, he was pulling Jason in for another kiss, this one stronger, harder, more desperate than the other.
Jason's grip tightened on Peter's hand. Peter used his other hand to shove the yearbook out of the way and onto the floor, making room so they could be even closer. Hands tangled themselves in hair, muscles clenched and released involuntarily, and every now and then one would gasp for air. But if one thing was certain, it was that neither boy had any desire to release the other. It was all Peter had ever dreamed of, and all Jason had been trying to suppress for the last eight months coming together in one mind-blowing, life-altering kiss that would change them both forever.