Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.
Beta: Catrienstardust. Go read her stuff. Seriously. you won't be disappointed. Go leave this crap and read her writing.
It started with a jacket.
This jacket wasn't just a jacket. It was his jacket. It was Elijah Goldsworthy's trademark.
But when Clare Edwards wore it, people knew. They knew that they were more than the friends that they were trying so hard to be. They knew, with every glance the boy gave to the girl, that he was declaring his love.
His jacket fit her body in a way that felt like a safe home. The jacket waved around her body with every step she took. The black cotton fabric, with the gold lining around the collar, felt cool against her skin. It reminded her of him, how she was always so hot and he was always so cool and cold; sober. The faded black fabric became a part of her skin, and without it on, she felt naked and bare; as if she were stripped from her home. The fabric became creased and the black became dull, but the smell of him never faded, and that was all Clare Edwards cared about.
This jacket wasn't just a jacket. It was a symbol. It was a "here-take-a-little-bit-of-me" type of jacket.
And this jacket was only the beginning.
It was on their fourth official date that he slid his jacket across her bare shoulders. He whispered that now, finally, she could carry a bit of him wherever she went, and Clare felt butterflies erupt in her stomach. The boy that she was falling in love with rarely gave her anything of him; it was rare when he shared something of his life with her. He was so hidden and so private that there were times when the girl wondered if she even knew the real Eli.
Sure, she knew the mysterious boy who made it his job to corrupt her. She knew that she knew one part of the boy, but there were so many other parts that she couldn't even think about.
All of those worries slipped away, however, when he whispered that he loved her and when he gently lifted her chin and kissed her. Kissed her with everything that he had and everything he wanted. With that kiss, the girl knew that slowly, very slowly, Elijah Goldsworthy was giving her his world, and someday, he would let her all the way in.
When she walked into her house on that beautiful night, she leaned against her bedroom door and slid all the way down. She hugged her knees to herself and closed her love struck eyes, holding the collar of the jacket up to her nose and taking in the scent of him. Suddenly, all she could see was his eyes. Suddenly, all she could feel were his lips moving against hers. She could almost feel his warm breath tickle her ear as he whispered how beautiful she was.
As she went to bed that night, she held his jacket close to her. And she pretended that it was actually him that she was holding.
On their fifteenth official date, he gave her the last part of him, crying in her arms as the date of Julia's death rolled by. Clare held the boy close to her chest, wanting him to know that her heart was beating. That he was alive. She whispered in his ear the three words that he had whispered to her on those late nights. He fell asleep in her arms, tears still streaming down his face, but he wasn't alone. This time, Clare Edwards had tears of her own joining his. She held him until he could stand up on his own, knowing that he knew that he could lean on her.
They were different around each other afterwards. They molded into each other and they shifted each other and they changed each other's worlds with their smiles. Somehow, they found that their relationship was becoming more than a little fling: It was becoming something that both of them depended on.
They had a relationship that neither understood and neither could define, but when they turned off the lights- and the only noises heard were creaking of the house- they felt their hearts grow larger. With every night that they fell asleep holding hands, their faith in the world became a bit bigger. Their eyes widened and their spirits soared with an emotion that neither had ever felt, but that made their heads spin and their bodies glow. It became everything.
On those nights when he chuckled under his breath and held her close, she loosened the ring off of her finger. With every night, when he'd lightly trail his fingers over her stomach, the ring faded, becoming invisible. When his breathing would become steady, she'd remove her hand from his and inspect the object on her finger. The silver ring was nothing more than a ring. It held no significance to her. It was just a silly, stupid ring that lost its meaning more and more every day.
Clare Edwards knew that there would come a day when the ring would slip off for good.
And it was with their thirtieth official date that Eli slipped the jacket off of her and made love to her on the floor. He waited for her and chanted that he loved her with his hushed, soft voice. It was that date in which Clare became a woman and loved a man more than she could even imagine.
Later that night, when he picked her up and carried her upstairs, she scooped his jacket that had become hers. She would cling onto that part of him as she fell asleep in his slight arms, but before she drifted off to dreamland, she slipped her once most prized possession off of her finger and onto Eli's hand.
Drowsy, she peeked through her heavy eyelids and noticed that the boy cradled the ring in the palm of his hand. It rolled around on his unusually warm skin and she saw him smile at it with something that Clare had never seen on his face before.
He finally had the last part of her.
And they both knew it.
It was two days after their sixtieth official date when a crash of a car split open their relationship. It was with a snap and a crack that splintered their love into pieces that were impossible to put back together.
And it was a month late that Clare found herself in a relationship with a new boy. He smelled like wood and wore plaid every day and kissed her with lust, which was something that Eli had never done. It thrilled her and she felt excitement when his tongue battled her own.
But if she was to be honest, she'd say that she missed the boy that had everything of her. She'd say that she came home every day and picked up his jacket and fell asleep with it wrapped around her.
If she were to be honest, she'd say that she still loved him.
Too bad she wasn't honest.
At the end of the day, she only knew one thing, everyone knew it. Everyone knew that only he had her.
Elijah Goldsworthy had every last part of her.
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