AN: It's been almost a year since I started writing fanfiction again (Gee it feels longer!) and this story was one of the first ones I started with! So, as I get ready to take the big step that is college, I hope that I can continue boldly going with my writing… (I don't think I could quit! :D) Without further ado… another chapter of everyone's favorite colloquialism dictionary!

On Cloud Nine: To be extremely happy or emotional, to the point of being physically present but mentally gone.

Spock knew it had been a bad idea from the start. An idyllic planet, a welcoming populace, 2 weeks of uninterrupted shore leave rotations for the majority of the ship's crew, yes, the half-Vulcan sensed, there must be something else.

It wasn't that the science officer was paranoid, oh no, he had the facts on his side. Every single planet that had conformed to these standards had been, over the last 2 years, had been either a trap, a mirage, or the home of some cannibalistic colonists who thought that Vulcan meat was a delicacy. After Jim's obligatory jokes about that particular planet's "good taste" and Dr. McCoy's indecently emotional bout of laughter, Spock was ready to ignore planets that appeared beautiful but were really just fem fatales in disguise. (Soon enough Jim was too, as the last planet had included women who ate their mates or any who attempted to mate with them).

But Circera was too beautiful, too peaceful, and too soon an option after the last 6 months of grueling humanitarian missions for the crew to pass it up. Most of the command crew had left the ship by the end of the first week, taking some much needed rest and relaxation. Spock had to admit, the crew needed this time to themselves. It was fascinating to watch the stress drain out of those who were close to the half-Vulcan, to see them all smile more. Besides, watching the Captain lose a one sided match of beach volleyball to Lt Uhura, Nurse Chapel, Engineer Gaila, and Yeoman Rand was more entertaining than he would ever admit (especially since the Captain's team had consisted of Dr. McCoy, Mr. Scott, and Ensign Chekov). Even Sulu had protested to Chekov's strongheld belief that " Beach Wolleyball vas inwented in Russia!"

The pleasantries ended there however.

"Uhm, Mr. Spock, I think we have a problem." Sulu looked more than a little scared when he approached his CO, a fact which spoke volumes to the watchful Vulcan. Lt. Sulu was almost as fearless as his Captain, so for such an overt expression to be there, a true problem must have existed.

"Yes, Mr. Sulu?"

"Uhm, well it's Chekov and Mr. Scott. They've been acting really weird. Like their off on Cloud Nine or something." Spock raised an eyebrow at the statement.

" I have never heard of this Cloud Nine, is it a place or a means of transport." The look of fear of Sulu's face, faded slightly as he processed the question, and replied,

" I mean they're acting as if they've been infected with no other emotion than a zombie-like state of happiness."

"And when did this happen?"

"It started after they spoke with Kirce. She invited them to dinner, and then, poof! Suddenly they're all sunshine, rainbows, and lovestruck." Spock considered the Sulu's concerns.

"Is this not how all human's act when enamored with another?"


"I take it that their actions are sufficiently different. I will attempt to talk to the Captain and Dr. McCoy. Perhaps they will know more about this."

Unfortunately only Dr. McCoy remained unharmed.

"It figures that Jim would let some blame fool witch cast a love spell on him!" McCoy grumped, watching as Sulu's eyes widened and Spock stared back at him cooly.

"You think that woman is the witch from the Odyssey?" Sulu's voice was full of surprise.

"No, I think she's mimicking her. Otherwise, the captain would already be a pig by now."

Spock tried to follow the doctor's logic and found it incredibly faulty.

"Could it be the water, doctor and not the woman? Not every being we meet is mimicking old Terran stories." McCoy shrugged.

" Not the water, air, background radiation, fruit, or ground. I've tested everything already. With our luck, she's going to try to sacrifice Jim and the others to some island god or the other." Spock considered the crew's track record, ie the previous shore leaves, and made an executive decision.

"We need to retrieve the Captain."

A fight with a cackling witch, her island slaves, and, in the end, their own team mates, later, Spock gained a new respect for Engineer Scott's ability to rig up impromptu defenses, Chekov's aim, and Jim's undying stubbornness for a cause. He also had quite a few greenish bruises, attesting to the struggle it was to save those three from themselves.

"It was a good thing that Mr. Sulu thought to stuff our ears with wax. Otherwise we might've fell for her too." McCoy was telling him, as he ran a dermal regenerator over the Vulcan's right arm. One of the natives had actually bit him, prompting the normally sickbay avoiding Vulcan to seek out the doctor.

" Yes. However, was that not used on a different part of the Odyssey?"

"Who cares Spock, as long as it worked?" Spock pondered that for a moment and let it go. However, he had one more question.

"Doctor, is there a disease known as Cloud Nine? I believe it causes 'zombie-like happiness'?"

Bones tried not to laugh.

AN: Reviews are love guys! Flames will be used to cook burgers for Keenser!