Uchiha Izuna downed his who knows how manyth drink. He was in that most dangerous state of drunkenness, that state between really buzzed and quietly sliding down one's chair until one reaches the floor, that state where the most ridiculous activities such as spraying the street down with a hose while it's freezing out to turn it into an ice rink seem sensible, completely logical even. A large number of his and his brother's experiments with the Mangekyo Sharingan had occurred while they were in this state. Drunken experiments had led to the discovery of Amaterasu and the subsequent destruction of several tents, as well as the discovery of the fact that Tsukuyomi wasn't as useful in the bedroom as it was on the battlefield as one had to have a great deal of skill and imagination in that area to properly fill three days non-stop without it becoming awkward.
This time, Izuna was trying to see if the Mangekyo Sharingan could bend space and time since it could already do a bunch of other cool and useful things most people would consider completely impossible. Apparently, judging by his surroundings and the fact that that waterfall hadn't been there a second ago, it could. Why someone would carve statues of his brother and the Senju bastard Hashirama into the sides of the waterfall like those statues in that story about the evil ring though, he didn't know.
Loud snoring was coming from the top of his brother's head. In a mood for adventure, he decided to investigate. When he reached the top of the statue he found the source of the snoring, which was a man in an orange mask, long black coat with red clouds with white detailing, a black sweatshirt, black pants, grayish white gaiters and black sandals who was sound asleep on top of the statue. The reason for this - since the position seemed to be a rather uncomfortable one as the man was wedged between several of Madara's hair spikes - was fairly obvious as he could smell the alcohol from here, and from the smell of it it was the cheap sake his brother preferred when he was out to get drunk.
"Did I say you could speak Itachi? No. Now get back in the kitchen and cook my dinner bitch." the man mumbled in his sleep.
He felt sorry for that Itachi person even if he was a figment of the man's imagination. His brother always did that to him when it was his turn to cook. Considering how bad a cook Madara was, it was always his turn to cook.
"Be a little nicer, or I'll spit in your food jerk." he said almost automatically. That had been his usual response to his brother's antics.
"Whatever bitch." the man mumbled.
"No inarizushi for you tonight jerk." he replied as he hopped off the statue's head and picked a random direction in which to explore. He wasn't really in the mood to have a brotherly argument with a sleeping weirdo, even if he sounded just like his brother. A loud cry of "Noooooooooooo!" followed him.
Just like Madara. Inarizushi was the man's favorite food, and had been ever since they were little. There had been a time when they were both kids where Madara had refused to eat anything else for almost a month. It had nearly driven their poor mother spare, and had been one of the reasons his brother and him had been shipped off to their father and the battlefield several years earlier than their peers usually were.
After leaving the strange old guy who reminded him of his brother, he wandered aimlessly around the countryside for a while, occasionally running into villages, and found that he recognized the landscape as being part of Fire Country, even if it wasn't the Fire Country he knew and had been camped in when he'd done his little experiment. He'd taken enough jobs for this place and places that wished to attack it to be able to recognize it on sight despite the fact that there was a great deal more trees here than in the Fire Country he knew. After the last battle he'd been involved in, which had oddly enough taken place in the area he was currently walking through, he'd been left with the feeling that nothing would grow on that desolate landscape he'd left behind ever again.
There was absolutely no sign of that battle which had taken place only weeks before here, though there were a number of stones that looked suspiciously like old grave markers. Instead of the desolation he remembered, there was forest, forest, forest, and even more forest. Inside the forest, - did he mention there was a forest? - there was a group of travelers. At the head of the group was someone who was apparently his alternate universe counterpart if the adventure stories he'd read as a child about people slipping into other dimensions were true. He himself would never be caught dead in the outfit his other self was wearing however. He had worn more traditional clothes before, mainly on occasions when he needed to dress up a bit and armor wasn't called for, but he wouldn't go so far as to leave his top open in the middle of freaking autumn. That, and that purple rope thing looked fucking stupid.
His other self was traveling with a tall orange haired guy, a short blue haired guy with a sword that was almost as large as he was, and a hot red-haired chick. He hoped that the glasses she wore were for decoration, otherwise any children his other self had with her could turn out defective.
His other self coldly scrutinized him.
"Who are you?" his other self finally asked.
"I'm you from another dimension." he replied.
"Yeah right." his other self sneered as the red-haired chick looked back and forth between him and his counterpart who - now that he thought about it - looked a little younger than himself and finally came to a decision.
"So, are you single?" the woman asked as she latched onto him.
"Does it matter?" he asked as he pulled out the scroll that contained his spare tent.
Izuna stormed off into the woods. He'd spent two days with his alternate universe counterpart who was named Sasuke for some strange reason, and couldn't take any more of his company. The other man was an insufferable asshole who was worse than Madara when he was on one of his "The Uchiha have a legacy of hatred" kicks. The only reason he'd stayed as long as he had had been Karin who was insatiable.
Unfortunately, Karin had finally fallen asleep, and he'd been left pretty much alone in his counterpart's company as the tall orange haired guy had gone off to commune with nature, and the blue haired guy who could turn himself into liquid had gone off to do something with a nearby stream that he didn't even want to think about if he ever wanted to drink water in this universe again. He didn't stay there for long. Not even his red haired goddess could get him to stay with that fratricidal jerk.
Hopefully the short letter he left putting the reason for his departure squarely in "Sasuke"'s lap would mitigate any of the potential fallout that came with his leaving a lover while they were asleep. Being chased across three countries by a homicidal woman had not been fun, and had led to his personal policy of completely avoiding the Uzumaki especially after what the woman's brothers had done to him after it was discovered that she was pregnant. He still had nightmares about that howling witch.
He hadn't been paying too much attention to where he was going as he made his getaway, and had ended up in the middle of a Ninja camp, inadvertently trampling a blond boy who was about sixteen or so during his arrival. He didn't recognize the clan symbol they all wore on metal plates attached to cloth bands. They were probably a band of mercenaries considering the fact that no two of them looked to be related, and one of them was a Hyuuga.
Moments after he entered the camp, he was being called by his counterpart's name and being hugged and cried on by a pink haired...wow, she had a nice ass, both firm and supple.
"A-are you going to come back to Konoha?" the girl asked him after she finished crying.
"I'll go anywhere you want me to baby." he replied. That counterpart of his had clearly thrown away a good thing. Not only was "Sasuke" popular for some incomprehensible reason, he was also a babe magnet like himself. If the other women in this "Konoha" place were half as attractive as this pink haired girl and that Hyuuga over there...His brother said his little side hobby would get him killed one day, but what a way to go.
The Inuzuka boy fell off his dog, out of the tree they were standing in, and landed on his head as he copped another feel while hugging the pink haired babe. He barely had time to notice this however, since the blond he'd trampled earlier leapt upon him with a cry of joy and started hugging the stuffing out of him.
"I knew you'd come back to us one day teme dattebayo!" the blond yelled.
Dattebayo? Dattebayo? Oh gods, please no!
Before he could fully process what was happening as he'd retreated into his mind in order to defend what was left of his sanity from the blond who bore a striking resemblance to the howling witch and sounded like her too, he was being dragged to the Konoha place by the blond Uzumaki freak of nature who wouldn't stop talking at him about what they were going to do once he got back the entire way.
Behind him, he could hear a slightly worrisome conversation.
"Something wrong Kiba?" the masked man with the wild gray hair that reminded him of one of the brothers who led the Senju clan, the younger one, Tobirama, asked.
"He smells like Sasuke, but he doesn't." the Kiba person said. "There's a Sasuke transfer scent, and an underlying Uchiha scent, but..."
"I see." the masked man said.
"I was wondering how he'd managed to grow his hair that long in the weeks since we last saw him." the brown haired man said.
"How?" the silver haired man said. "I was wondering why. You wouldn't believe the number of hair growth jutsus I managed to copy. They come quite in handy when a certain blond shaves your head while you're recovering from Chakra Exhaustion."
Since the rest of the mercenary group seemed to consist of teenagers, he assumed that the brown haired man and the masked man were the leaders, which meant that they were the strongest and most experienced. Considering the Chakra levels he'd been able to sense in the younger members of the group, especially the blond Uzumaki - How the hell was there a blond Uzumaki anyway? Wasn't their red hair gene dominant in any pairing? - this could really be as he'd once heard a Nara put it "Troublesome".
"Who are you?" the masked man asked in a dangerous tone of voice as he reached for a weapon, apparently prepared to fight to the death if necessary, as soon as the conversation with the Inuzuka and the brunet had ended.
"The name's Izuna." he replied, not yet pulling a weapon since that could cause the situation to escalate out of control.
"If you're looking for that asshole Sasuke, I ditched him somewhere back that way." he continued as he pointed in the direction he'd come from.
"What condition was he in when you "ditched" him?" the silver haired man asked as his hand moved towards the headband that was covering one of his eyes.
"Sitting there nattering on about how he was going to kill his brother, and how I was going to help him." he said. "Since I wasn't in the mood to go killing my brother..."
"Your brother...?" the blond Uzumaki asked while the entire group stood there staring at him in surprise.
There was a sudden "Oh!" from the rather shy looking Hyuuga.
"Same father, different mother could explain it." the Inuzuka muttered.
The silver haired man's hand moved away from the headband, but he was still tense.
"Will you come back to Konoha with us after we retrieve Sasuke?" something about the man's demeanor suggested that that wasn't exactly a request. The fact that the man was being nice about it, and the fact that everyone here seemed to believe that he belonged in this "Konoha" place piqued his curiosity. Perhaps his counterpart had gotten kicked out of the clan and had joined this band of mercenaries afterwards. It would fit considering the fact that he wasn't really openly displaying his clan symbol. A tiny one on the collar didn't really count.
When they had finally found where he'd left the fratricidal asshole after the group had turned off their original course and headed back towards where he came from once his identity had been established, Sasuke and company had already broken camp and departed. He could hear alot of yelling in the distance. Apparently, his redheaded goddess Karin was making her displeasure over his departure known.
They were soon hot on "Sasuke"'s trail but, before they could catch up to him, their way was barred by the orange masked weirdo he'd encountered on his first night in this dimension. The battle that followed was the most ludicrous one he'd ever been involved in, and that included the time his clan had gone to battle against a clan of Cooking-nin and it had turned into a pie fight. At least then, their opponent had actually been serious. Throughout the fight, he was rather strongly reminded of what usually happened when he and Madara were playing around rather than seriously sparring.
At one point, he finally found that he had to speak up:
"Hey! You ripped off my Whack-a-mole Jutsu you ass!" he yelled.
The man stopped in his tracks and stared at him. A moment later, the masked man leapt through the air, tackled him to the ground, flung his arms around him, and did his best to crush his ribs with a hug.
"Izuna!" the orange-masked man yelled. "IzunaIzunaIzunaIzunaIzuna!"
What was it with the people in this universe and hugging?