Title: I Am The Liar And You Are The Saint
Rating: PG-13 for this chapter M for later
Summary: She had become an expert at putting on a face when she was around Heather. Naya just hoped it was enough for people not to realize it, because honestly Heather was wearing her down.
Pairings: Naya/Heather, Other: Heather/OC, Naya/Mark, Side Dianna/Lea
Disclaimer: This fic is RPF! I do not own anything, this is a complete work of fiction. I DO NOT know either of these women and I am not affiliated with Glee or its creators. These two are not a couple… unfortunately.
Spoilers: Season 1 and Season 2
A/N: This story is originally from lj on the Naya/Heather community and from my personal lj. Due to lj posting limits I decided to move the fic over here so I had more freedom with what I could write. I hope all my readers from lj has followed their way over here and to the new readers I'm excited to hear back from everyone! I cannot wait to get writing again :) Happy reading everybody.
I Am The Liar And You Are The Saint
Naya Rivera was currently laid sprawled on her sunken couch in her trailer, wishing the world away. How things came to this, she is still unable to understand. It's only really been two years… Two years! It seems almost impossible to have developed such an arrangement of feelings for one person over that gap of time. Shouldn't it take a lifetime? Naya would understand having her heart burst over a high school crush, coming to know that person since childhood… But she was twenty-three for Christ's sake! She's not some pimple-coated, hormonal teen and she certainly has not known the particular blonde dancer since childhood. Yet, here she was, hibernating in her trailer as she swooned over her best friend. God… and it only took a couple months before she could easily call her that. Her best friend. Their relationship had developed so fast…
Ugh… labels are stupid… Naya scolded in her head. They didn't need a "best friend" label on their friendship. Heather and Naya just… are. There was nothing more to it. When it came out in that interview, the words just kinda slipped through her lips. It was mainly because of the affect that Heather had over her. Whenever the topic of the girl came up in an interview, Naya always had this tendency to say more than she should. Words would just tumble out of her mouth because she simply wished it were true at the time, nothing had ever been established in a conversation between the two of them. Everything was just assumed. So when the interview actually came out, the dancer bounded into her trailer… Naya could her Heather's voice faintly squeal in her mind…
"Awww! You said we're best friends?" the blonde wrapped her arms around the surprised Latina, engulfing her with her warm embrace. "I love it when you make things official…"
It was so typically sweet, and innocent of Heather. It wasn't her fault, if anything it was Naya's. She was the one who buried herself in this mess. It isn't right to have such strong feelings for your best friend. God… it's not normal to have feelings like this for a girl! She was still coping with this fact. She seriously did feel like she was some confused teenager again. Didn't I already go through this? Naya's mind pleaded to the ceiling of her trailer as her arms flailed up in unison. Her eyebrows furrowed in frustration. The whole situation made her head hurt and her heart ache. The thing about Naya was that she has in the past had little girl crushes. She just assumed that she was simply jealous of the way they looked, or wished she could be more like them. She convinced herself it was just part of her fascination on improving her imperfections; she had it engrained in her mind that she was anything from perfect.
Apparently you were mistaken, Rivera. Who would have thought? Naya Rivera was actually insecure about her sexuality. Hell, Naya was insecure about a lot of things. She realized this when she met Heather. The girl seemed to resurface problems and feelings she thought she had dealt with ages ago. She just wanted to scream and make all of it go away. She hated having to push herself away from the one person she trusted most. Naya is a pretty good actress, but her acting can only go so far around Heather. Every day it was getting more and more impossible to hide these things from her. Heather is the only one Naya had ever met that could chip away at the fortress she had built around herself. She always felt incredibly vulnerable around the blonde. It didn't help when her emotions were visibly conveyed on her face whenever Heather would give her those little touches and squeezes. And Heather was a very touchy, feely person… She just wanted to have the liberty of feeling normal around her best friend again. Naya hung her arm off the couch to grab her plushy pillow-pet. She clutched the purple cushion close to her chest and looked down into the eyes of Harold the Hungry Hippo.
"I guess the normalness didn't really last that long though did it, Harold?" Naya asked her inanimate friend lying on her stomach. She patted his head, wishing its beady black eyes would give her answers. She continued.
"You know… it probably took me only about three months after we met to realize I was falling for her? Yeah… lame I know." Her mind wandered to the very moment it happened. It had been over something so simple too.
Naya had been having one of those more frustrating days on the set of Glee. She had been locked away in the tin shed for the whole afternoon along with Dianna, the cheerio extras, and of course Heather. They were learning the choreography to Dianna's "You Keep Me Hangin' On" number. Being a cheerio's number, of course the choreography was going to complicated. This resulted in Naya's legs to feel like a jelloish, tangled mess. It was horrible. Normally Naya could handle the dance moves quite easily, especially compared to Cory and Mark. But there something about this routine, or that day, that just set her a beat behind everyone else.
Naya was burning up from both anger and the humidity that had accumulated over the course of rehearsal. Her forehead was drenched and the rest of her body was coated with a sheen layer of sweat. The light material of her tank annoyingly clung to her chest and stomach as she would attempt to adjust it whenever there was a brief pause, but it failed to have any affect. She felt incredibly unattractive at the moment and so very uncomfortable. Naya could tell she was in definite need of shower by the odors emitting from her body. She was literally fuming.
The time slot they had with Zach was almost up and Naya could tell he was at his wits end with her. He finally told her to sit the last run-through and would work on it with her after. Embarrassed with her lack of ability to keep up with Dianna and the female dancers, Naya sat herself in a corner and kept to herself. She sipped at her water, feeling her efforts didn't deserve the indulgence of the cool liquid. She watched the girls, mainly Heather, run through the number with such ease. Heather's languid legs gracefully spanned the length of the shed as she went through the rather seductive bits of the number. Naya admired her ability to learn and perfect something in such a short period of time. The more she analyzed the more annoyed she got that she couldn't get piece down. She buried her head in her hands, the frustration building in her temples.
It wasn't until the music subsided when she looked back up. Dianna and Heather seemed to be intently listening to last minute pointers from Zach as they chugged down their water bottles. The other girls were stretching out their tired muscles, resting a little while before slowly filing out of the tin shed. Zach finally gave Dianna a reassuring pat on the shoulder, a kind gesture that she had worked well today. Naya puffed at her hair in irritation. Lucky her… she thought as she rolled her eyes. Heather lingered with Zach a little longer. They were probably having some intense dance discussion… Then Naya saw Zach make the slightest head nod in her direction. Naya let her head fall back against the wall behind her and her gut seemed to plummet towards the ground. She hated it when people talked about her when her presence was so evidently known. It pissed her off even more when she knew that they were probably criticizing her. She shook her head, and took a deep breath through her nostrils. Focus Naya! You can do this. Just get this fucking choreography down and then you can sleep. She exhaled.
"Hey Naya! I'll give you ten and then back to work, yeah?" It wasn't really much of a question than it was a statement and Zach made his way towards the door for his break. Naya simply nodded. She got up gingerly, her body torn into shambles. Naya began to stretch out her limbs to ready herself for what she was sure was going to be at least an hour more of torture.
"Whoa there… When Zach said take ten he meant to take a breather, Nay, not kill yourself. That will happen sooner than you think," Heather had said with sweet playfulness. Oh, Heather… when has she ever not been there when Naya needed her most?
"Yeah? Well not all of us can afford breaks, Heather," Naya could recall being snappy at that moment. Pondering back on the memory, she wished she could have taken it back.
Heather frowned. "We all know you're fully capable of dancing the number, Nay. And you should believe it too… you don't give yourself enough credit."
Naya scoffed and continued to stretch out her legs, completely brushing off the Heather's endearing compliment. It was one that Naya would later store in the back of her mind. "Are you kidding me? I was undoubtedly the worst dancer in the room today. I need all the help I can get."
"Stop," Heather's tone was serious, but her smile still danced on her lips as she forced Naya out of her current stretch. She placed a firm grip on her shoulders and pierced her with those crystal blue eyes. "Now you listen to me. I don't wanna hear you degrading yourself anymore. It drives me insane! You are so natural at everything you do Naya, that it baffles me whenever you say those things about yourself. I do not want to hear it anymore, okay?"
Naya closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, catching some of Heather's scent. Musky, but with the familiar scent of honey and a mix of maple syrup. Naya encircled her hands over Heather's and hung her head down. The contact made Heather's hold slack ever so slightly as her palms made squeezing, massaging motions. Her friend's touch was comforting and it made Naya sigh.
"I know… I'm sorry. I can be such an overachieving, bitch sometimes. I get a little too carried away with myself."
"Hey, I said enough with the negative," Heather said, but that smile played on her lips as she lifted Naya's chin so their eyes met.
"Ugh… I've just never been more frustrated!" Naya threw her arms up in air in dramatic exasperation and collapsed back onto the floor, her limbs splayed about in every which direction. Heather smirked at her adoringly. "That was some major suckage out there. Come on… not even you can deny that."
Heather pondered over the statement before plopping down next to her shorter best friend. "True. I've seen better," Heather said playfully. "But you're just having an off day. Everyone has one every now and again. You can't expect to be all happy and on top of things twenty-four, seven."
"You are. You're perfect," Naya mumbles.
"No one is perfect, Naya. Not even Lady Gaga in all her holiness," Heather replies sincerely, adding her witty remark. Heather had just recently been completely obsessed with Gaga's newly released Fame Monster album and has been playing it nonstop. Naya smiled at the memory of Heather attempting to dance poorly while singing Alejandro at the top of her lungs in their trailer the other day. She let out another sigh. Heather still sensing her friend's discomfort in the matter rolled over to lay on her belly and turned her head to the side to face Naya. She reached out her hand and began making lazy circles on Naya's sheer, tank top clad stomach. Naya closed her eyes to her best friend's soothing touch as it slowly began to relax her.
"Sometimes, I wish I could be more like you," Naya said, eyes still closed.
"Please don't say that…" the circling motion on her abdomen stopped, making Naya look back up at Heather through half lidded eyes. Heather's face was stark serious, her lips pursed together in a thin line. "You keep making me sound like I'm some sort of saint or something, when you know I'm not…"
"Heather, I—" Naya tried to defend her remark, but Heather continued.
"No. Can't you see? I think you're amazing, Naya," she paused, blue orbs searching chocolate ones.
"When you do things, I think to myself gosh… if only I had the guts to do something like that. And when you speak to people? You're always so bold with your words and you always mean them. You're so stubborn, but that's one of the best traits. You never take any crap from anyone. I admire so much about you. So you promise me that you won't ever change…" Heather spoke in a low voice just above a whisper and sometime during her little monologue her hand that was on her stomach found its way to Naya's cheek, cupping it gently.
Naya didn't quite know how to respond to such a string of compliments. When Naya didn't speak, Heather continued. "One of these days, all this hard work will pay off and our characters will eventually make it somewhere. I mean it sounds pretty much near impossible right now cause we're just Quinn's henchmen… women, whatever. But Ryan and Brad and everyone will have to eventually realize that there's so much more to Brittany and Santana and how much more there is to us. If they don't then if anything you'll make it somewhere because you've got something special, Nay that only you can give."
They've had serious conversations before, but they were always lighthearted and more or less about past relationships and heartbreak. The only other notable discussion that left the both of them in tears was when Heather poured her heart out to Naya about her dad. Naya had held her for hours. This time it was different. There was something about what Heather just told her that stirred a different emotion in the smaller brunette. At first it was uncomfortable, but then it swelled into this warm tingling sensation in her chest. It scared the shit out of her. For the first time being with Heather, Naya choked on her words. When she was finally able to speak, she couldn't comment on what Heather had said directly.
"Why do you deal with all my shit?" Naya said in a half chuckle to try to lighten the heavy mood.
"Because," Heather's voice instantly snapped back to cheery sunshine. She retracted her hand back from Naya's cheek to lean against it as she began to kick her legs up behind her in that adorable way that was Heather. "You're my Naya," she had stated it so simply as if it was obvious and Naya's heart began to flutter. Then she finished with, "And I'm your Heather."
Yup, that was definitely the moment it hit her and the stuttering and awkwardness had ensued. Naya sighed. About more than a year and a half now of fighting back feelings and long nights of crying into her pillow. She had become an expert at putting on a face when she was around Heather. Naya just hoped it was enough for people not to realize it, because honestly Heather was wearing her down. She didn't know how much more she could take and her work was beginning to look sloppy. She thanked whoever was up there that Heather didn't like reading the fans' comments because she said it was "too much pressure!" Naya was sure if she read them, Heather would have found out within the first few weeks of her crush. Damn those fans, they just love to analyze every little thing… It was horrifying, because they were right…
Before Glee, all this would seem so uncharacteristic of Naya. She used to exude so much more confidence and independence. She hadn't lost it completely, but she had definitely become more vulnerable ever since she had met Heather. Naya would like to describe her past self as normal and driven. Not in the crazy, bitch way like Santana. She was normal and that's all she wanted to be. But now, Heather has got her world completely turned upside down as Naya is timidly hugging onto her pillow pet as if her life depended on it.
"Oh Harold… I don't know how much longer I can do this for. Soon, I won't be able to convince anyone… especially you know who," Naya mumbled into the soft fur. She closed her eyes and breathed in. All she could smell was Heather.