Penname: Bighair83

Title Esme's Secret

Rated MA

Summary: What did Carlisle find when he followed Esme to Chicago and how did it effect the rest of their lives.

Disclaimer: I don't own shit here! I wish I did because maybe my second job wouldn't be selling dildos!

Contest: Die, Daddy C, Die

AN: This is the first piece of work I am actually putting out here. Kinda SCARED!


FUCK! What a little ungrateful shit! How could I have been so blind? I have seen that look before… I had the same look when I met Esme over 20 years ago. I would follow her anywhere and I did. All the way to Chicago. It's always so hard for me when I have to do business out there, to many memories. I am not one for drinking but I always need a scotch on the plane. Luckily I am seated in first class with no one in the seat next me. I buy two seats together so I never have to sit next to some idiot whose life is perfect. The last thing I need right now is for someone to drone on and on how great there family is.

I can't help but feel angry at Edward for the stupid mistake he's making.

I know he loves her. The way he could only see her at the game and ran over to embrace her.

His sickening display with the mud on her face. I have tried to tell him to fuck and dump them. Usually he is so good but for some reason she's different. It must be her innocence that intrigues him. I bet she's got some skeletons in her closet.

I know just the person I to call, "I need all the information on Isabel Swan NOW!" I don't bother waiting for an answer. I pay all of their salaries in that little Podunk shit hole of a town. They do what I want, when I want it.

I hope Edward will come to his senses and throw her to the curb but just in case I want reinforcements.

"This is your captain speaking we will be landing in 20 minutes. Please stay in your seat with your seatbelt on for the duration of the flight." Chicago. Why do they have to do a fucking conference in Chicago? I don't need this shit right now.

I remember the first time I landed here. So excited for all that laid before me. Esme had come a few months before to follow some art dream that she had. Ha art, like that's a real career.

I just wanted her to come back to Forks and be my wife. God I loved her.

I was completely shocked when I found her doped up on E in some artist's loft.

I dragged her out of there so fucking fast her head was spinning. I wanted to beat the shit out of that guy; taking advantage of my loving and trusting Esme. I brought her back to my hotel and held her while she came down. I kept reassuring her that I loved her and it would all be ok.

But it wasn't.

After convincing her that Chicago was not right for her, we went home. Three weeks later I came home from working a 36 hour shift at the hospital and found her a puddle in the bathroom. I noticed there was tissues and pregnancy test all over the floor.

They were all positive.

I haven't slept with Esme in almost 5 months.

There's no way this baby is mine. It's the fuckers from Chicago.

Running out of our apartment I got filthy drunk at the closest bar. I ended up getting in a fight that night with the biggest fucker in the place. I just really need to beat the fuck out of something. How could she do this to me!

I loved her.

I still love her.

Fuck, maybe I could get her to get rid of it…

After I made bail in the morning and stumbled home, I found her in the same place as when I left. I scooped her up off the floor and laid her in bed.

"Esme, how could you?"

"Carlisle I am so sorry. It has only been you and always will be you but I just needed to be out on my own. You are so controlling and domineering. I wanted to see what it was like to be with someone else. I am so sorry. I never meant for you to find out. I guess with all the drugs I was trying I forgot to take my birth control. O god, what are we going to do with a BABY!"

"We get rid of it."

This made her wail harder and uncontrollably. In between sobs she spoke.

". Not. Get. Rid OF. MY BABY."

And that was it. Edward was never really mine.

I loved her so much I couldn't even think about giving her up. I had to except him. And I did for a while. But then after all I did for that ungrateful little fucker he took her from me. Why was he so irresponsible? Probably because of his dead beat artist dad. That's why every time I saw that sketch book I was filled with hate.

I couldn't stand that he was rubbing it in my face. That he wasn't really mine…

A whole week reliving this shit memory. Time to go back to the hotel and order up a girl. I really need to tense release.

Ring, ring. "Cullen, what do you got?"

"Well Miss Swan left quite the wake in Phoenix. She had a threesome with two boys while taking e. There are photos of the three of them together. Would you like me to email them to you sir?"

"Yes, send me all you can on that little whore."

Once I show those to Edward he will use her the way she is meant to be. Like I blow up doll. Fuck whatever hole you want and throw to the side after.

Finally reaching my hotel I nod to the concierge, he knows what I want. 20 something, long legs, big full boobs, and blond. The opposite of my Esme. I can't be with anyone that reminds me of her. It just hurts too much.

Thirty minutes later there's a knock on my door. A beautiful women walks in. Immediately I take to her to the bed. I sit on the edge of the bed and shove her to her knees.

She takes me completely in her mouth. I can't help but grab her hair and start thrusting in her faster. I hate when someone else has the control. I will never let that happen again.

She gets the idea and lets her throat relax so I can pound in her. I abruptly stand her bend her over the side of the bed. Lifting up her skirt and pushing her throngs to the side.

I spit on my hand and spread it over her pussy. I am not here for her pleasure. I don't give a shit if she gets off or not. I just need her cunt wet for me. I push into her with one thrust and she cries out. Arching her back and bringing her head up. I reach around and stuff my hand under her shirt so I can punch her nipple. She cries out again but this time it sounds more out of pain than pleasure. Fuck her, it's not my problem I pay good money to do as I want.

I think about fucking her in the ass but then decide against it. I just keep pumping my torturous rhythm until I explode all over her back. No need to worry about unwanted babies. I throw a towel at her to clean up and leave the money on the bed. She knows to clean up and leave.

That's the best thing about whores. No commitment. No living with mistakes or regrets. I get off and they move on.

It's every man's dream.

I need to wipe the filth off of me.

I jump into the shower and scrub as hard as I can. I always feel kind of dirty after. As I lift up my left foot to wash it I lose my balance and slip on the porcelain tub. I try and reach out to catch myself. Steady my balance. Grasping for anything. But nothing is there. The pain is tremendous. I see blood gushing down my face. I can't believe this shit a doctor dying from blunt force trauma.

As I lay there bleeding out all I can think about is Edward and all the pain I caused him. For a mistake he knew nothing about.

For being a typical kid and forgetting something.

For being stuck with an asshole like me after his mother died.

"Edward I am Sorry. I really do love you son"


So I let my imagination run wild. I thought about a bear eating him on the side of the road while changing a tire. Or a deer impaling him through his windshield. But decided I wanted to tell the story of what I thought was between Carlisle and Esme. I thought it was interesting you said he followed her to Chicago and I ran with that! Sorry the killing wasn't that crazy! But I wanted him to die alone and in pain!