A/N: Oooooo look what happened today when I tried to write something else! As it turns out when I am utterly depressed and heartbroken I'm much better at writing fluff! Go figure! ANYWHO I'm ending it here. It feels like a good place to say goodbye to this story and it is super-cute if I do say so myself. I want to thank everyone for your reviews and support, this story has AMAZED me with its response – you guys are amazing. And on that note all you lurkers out there, here's your chance to make your feelings known one last time!
all my regular readers (you know who you are) I actually love you guys **mwah** xxx
Rocking back and forth on the bed seemed to help, the movement made the pain more manageable although it did make her look a bit like a crazy person. Every few minutes she felt an overwhelming urge to go to the bathroom and by the time she got there – nothing. This whole labor thing was becoming too much of an inconvenience. No one would give her a time scale, she was trying her best to avoid pain medication and Grissom looked utterly terrified sitting in his corner clutching the nitrous oxide nozzle between his hands.
The contractions started on her lower back, they built quickly from a niggling cramp up to a debilitating paralysis of her muscles. Each one was stronger and lasted longer than the previous on and each time she declared outwardly that it wasn't possible they could get any worse.
"this has got to be over soon" she breathed as another contraction washed away, they left her breathless and weak, tiredness was setting in to the point that her head felt heavy and her limbs could barely move. "It's been at least 4 hours"
Grissom and the doctor exchanged a look that told her it was nowhere near 4 hours yet, even if it felt like it to her. She barely had time to catch her breath before the next contraction burst on her like an explosion and this one was accompanied by a pressure she couldn't resist, a strange animalistic urge that frightened her so much she clutched the side of the bed for support.
"Oh I need to push!" her voice was high pitched from both the pain and the shock.
Grissom and the doctor shot from their chairs and darted across to her Grissom gathered her in his arms and held her and the doctor placed one hand on Sara's solid bump. She simply nodded at Grissom, pressed the call button and they both helped Sara onto the bed.
"This is it Sara, we're going to have to take it real slow so we don't rupture those delicate blood networks ok?"
Sara nodded, her hand wound around the fabric of Grissom's shirt sleeve so tight she was sure his fingers were turning purple. Almost the second one contraction eased another began building its way up across her body and despite the doctors instructions she couldn't fight the natural process of her body.
It was a relief, although it caused its own kind of pain she knew it was coming to an end. The feeling of surrendering to her body's own natural instincts was almost a spiritual experience. It was totally out with her control, at this moment in time she couldn't stop her muscles pushing the baby out no matter how hard she tried.
Nurses filled the room, one of the pushing a tiny plastic tub on a huge trolley surrounded by wires. That would be her baby's first bed; the first thing he would see when he woke from his sleep would be the bright UV lamp above him replenishing his bilirubin, or the heat lamps increasing his body temperature. It was generally accepted that he would be underweight, that he would lack some essential nutrients he should have got from her blood stream and that he would need to be taken to special care pretty quickly after his birth.
He had had a rough ride already, he wasn't even technically considered alive yet.
"You're doing great Sara, try and take it easier for me on the next push?"
The fat that she was even speaking escaped Sara's attention, it was as though everything else in the room had vanished. Another contraction wound its way up her body clenching her muscles and forcing her to bear down and the nurses were suddenly surrounding the bottom of the bed. She gave Grissom a worried glance but his face broke into a smile and the strange limbo she had been in faded away so she could hear him telling her the baby was almost crowning.
With the next contraction she felt it though, one mighty push and a horrific burning sensation built up. the doctor was telling her to hold position and slowly pant the baby out, the idea seemed ridiculous but it seemed to work, the pressure eased and tears strained Grissom's eyes as he watched on, squeezing her hand lightly as he smiled down at her. The pride and awe in his eyes was beautiful.
"Ok couple more pushes and you can hold your son!"
With a new determination Sara surrendered completely to her body's power, two more contractions and the doctor heaved a tiny grey bundle onto her chest and draped a blanket over them both. She practically ripped open Sara's nightdress so that the baby was pressed against her skin and she furiously rubbed his tiny back. Within a few seconds they heard the most beautiful sound anyone could ever hear, that precious first cry. The wailing of a newly born child as he confirmed his existence in this world.
"Would you lie to cut the cord Daddy?"
For a second Grissom looked bewildered by the very idea but he reached out his hand and took the surgical scissors slicing through her son's last physical link to her, he placed his hand gently over his crying son. He could almost cover his entire body with one hand.
He looked into her eyes with that expression again, that new expression of love she had never seen before. She was exhausted, completely drained of life and yet strangely invigorated at the same time.
"I am so proud of you!" he whispered in her ear as he kissed her lightly on the head, his hand didn't move from the now sleeping bundle on her chest, apparently he found his father's strong hands cradling him comforting. She would have to bear that in mind.
"We need to take baby away now" the doctor matched their hushed tones and smiled a reassuring smile at them both "we'll just do some checks and I promise he can come back shortly"
Grissom took a step back and the baby stirred slightly, burrowing into her chest seeking warmth and comfort. Sara stroked a gentle hand across the feathery skin of his back, his skin seemed so fragile, like it would tear if she touched it too hard, his whispers of dark hair clung to his head and a line of furry down hair followed his spine. She had never laid eyes on anything so perfect.
When they took him away she felt like there was a gaping hole where he should be, a strong sense of loss waved over her and the exhaustion and sheer emotion of the past few hours hit her like a tsunami. Tears rolled down her cheeks and sobs escaped her throat, Grissom held her close to his chest and stroked her hair until they stopped and they nurses were finished with her.
With shaking legs she staggered to the shower, she really didn't want to shower. The only thing she wanted to do was sleep, her whole body wanted her to sleep, it ached for sleep but the nurses had been very persistent she needed to shower. As she grudgingly stood under the steaming hot stream of water she realized this may very well be the best most amazing shower she had ever had in her entire life.
She emerged from the bathroom dressed in pajamas and wrapped in a fluffy robe, her hair already beginning to curl in the warmth as the nurses wheeled her to her room. They brought her food and she sunk into the bed, the pillows felt like clouds helping her float off into her dreams as he husband gently stroked his thumb across her hand.
When she woke she absentmindedly stroked her hands across her stomach. She was surprised her bump was gone, the strange wobbling jelly of a stomach she now had just wasn't the same as the comforting presence of her baby safely wrapped in his womb. She spotted the cot at the end of her bed, vacant of any life and a fear gripped her heart. When she turned her eyes to Grissom an entirely new feeling gripped her heart and it was a feeling of so much love she felt like it might burst. He was cradling his tiny son in his arms, a beaming smile on his face and tears in his eyes as tiny pink fingers curled around his fingertip and the baby's little nose wrinkled and relaxed.
"Oh look, your mommy's awake" he whispered with a soft smile in her direction "she always looks that beautiful in the morning"
"Well daddy always looks like this too, wide awake and one step ahead"
Grissom carefully passed her the tiny bundle and she gasped in awe as she felt his weight in her arms, she didn't think she'd honestly ever witness this moment.
"He's ok?" she asked it cautiously because in all honesty she was scared of the answer. He was already a miracle; to be flawless was almost too much to ask for.
"A little underweight but nothing that can't be cured"
Tears stung at her eyes as she looked down on his tiny features. His eyes pressed together, his miniscule little nose, the way his lips puckered ever so slightly in his sleep, his tiny perfect fingers already covered with his own unique fingerprints, his long scrawny legs and ridiculously tiny feet.
"Of course he is, look at his mother" he smiled and placed his hand on her leg. "I've been thinking about names…"
The thought had never occurred to her, she was simply glad he was here and he was safe and she could hold him and breathe in that incredible new baby scent people always spoke about, so she just nodded, knowing that whatever he said she would agree with anyway since she had no alternative to argue.
"What do you think about Arthur?"
"As in Conan Doyle?" she grinned, it seemed like an ingenious idea to her.
"Well, that was my father's name…" he offered, a sadness tainting his voice
"I couldn't think of a better name for our son Gil, Arthur Warrick Grissom has a nice ring to it. Don't you think?"
a/n I actually have no idea if Grissom's fathers name is in fact Arthur but I have it in my head it is for some unknown reason! forgive me if its all wrong! xx