AN: Hello, lovies! I was asked to write a piece for The Southern FanFiction Review's Tantalizing Tuesdays and what you're about to read was my contribution. I've gone completely out of my comfort zone, not only writing something smutty, but this also my first time writing in present tense. Go easy on me, ok?
My imagination brewed up a steamy plot, and as usual for me, my mind spun it into a larger story. With Rabbit Heart close to ending and my next work-in-progress beginning shortly thereafter, I've decided to borrow an idea that I saw another writer (the awesome snshyne). There are various fandom charity compilations happening here and there, so what I'll do is add a chapter to this story as a donation to whichever compilation. Once the appropriate time has passed, I'll upload the chapter here as well.
I'll keep an up-to-date list of which charities I'm contributing to on my profile page. Or you can always feel free to poke me here or on Twitter. =)
One last mention, I don't forsee much angst, but this story will definitely earn it's M rating, and possibly then some. ;-)
It's dark inside the room; only the moonlight filters in, just how I like it. The lithe body beneath me twists and shifts, but I can't allow that. I can't see her face, because if I do, it's all over. If she turns, and I catch a glimpse of her identity, I know my erection will be lost. That can't happen; I need the release. I slap her on the ass, causing a squeal and an overeager shake of her bottom.
It's obvious from her movements that this position isn't the best for her, so I reach for her hips and pull her up to her knees, pounding into her from behind. I may be using her for my pleasure, but she's a willing participant, and I'd be a heel if I didn't make this good for her as well.
I can tell by the way she bucks against me that she's fully into it now. I lean forward and twist some of her long blonde hair around my wrist, pumping deeper inside her pussy.
"Fuck," I growl, bringing my leg up to get a better angle.
Shit, I wish I could remember her name. Janet? Jordan? Jessica? Jenny! That's it. At least I think it is.
This can work; this will work. All I need to do is picture the face I need—her ice blue eyes and full lips—and I'll be fine. I feel Jenny start shake around me, so I speed up, bringing her over the edge as I empty inside the condom I'm wearing.
Resting my head against the small of her back, I try to take slow and steady breaths to calm my racing heart. The girl underneath of me sighs and arches her back, pressing against me intimately.
"That was completely awesome, Edward," she giggles. "We should definitely get together again."
The sound of Jenny's high-pitched and squeaky voice—so much different from hers—makes my stomach turn. Immediately, the familiar shame assaults me, and I feel sick to my stomach, just like every other time. Every single time I do this—find a girl who's similar enough to her and get my rocks off—I'm haunted by memories for days afterward.
Recoiling from the aftermath of what I've done, I make a hasty exit and get the hell out of Dodge.
Once I'm home, I strip and stand under a scalding hot shower, hoping to scrub away my latest sins. She'llnever be mine again—she may not have ever been mine in the first place. I need to come to terms with that eventually. Preferably sooner, rather than later.
Another night, another bar. At least this time I've lasted almost three months. No one but my best friend, Jasper, knows my obsession for hunting women with long, blonde hair like my ex-girlfriend. I know he's worried about where my head is; I can't say that I blame him.
Every time I come here, I swear it'll be the last, but something about tonight sets off a tingle in my fingers, like something momentous is going to happen. I nod to the bartender, a friend named James, and I briefly scan the crowd on the small, makeshift dance floor. I spot a few potential choices, but my gaze is struck by a petite brunette dancing with an even smaller girl with short, spiky, black hair.
Something about the way she moves makes me want to step up behind her and rest my hands on her hips. I watch as she throws back her head and laughs, a smile lighting up her entire face. A spike of desire shoots through my chest, stunning me. I'd never felt such an instant attraction to any woman other than- I close my eyes and breathe in deeply through my nose; I can't let myself think her name.
James snickers behind me as he sets my beer on the counter. I turn to look at him, and he jerks his head toward my previous line of sight.
"I thought brunettes weren't your thing, Eddie?" he taunts with a good-natured smile.
I can't help but smirk and eye the brunette again. "Sometimes life throws you a curveball, Jim," I toss over my shoulder as I beeline my way to the girl who's entranced me from across the room.
Her tiny friend catches my eye and gives me a wicked smile before backing away, allowing me access to her friend. My hands slide over her hips, stepping close to her back. Something about it feels right. She immediately stiffens and turns her head.
"I don't normally dance with strangers," she speaks, just loud enough for me to hear. Her voice is sweet and sultry.
"If you allow me to introduce myself, then that won't be a problem, now will it?" I lean down to whisper in her ear, letting my lips brush her skin there ever so gently.
She shivers and reaches around to thread her fingers through my hair, yanking my ear roughly to her lips.
Her voice echoing in my ear sets my blood afire.
"Edward," I reply curtly. "Now about that dance...?"
She laughs, and I swear my dick is trying to bust through the zipper of my jeans. Bella presses her back against my chest and starts to sway to the music. After a few minutes of that position, I turn her in my arms and am immediately captivated by the deepest brown eyes I've ever seen. Her mouth is small and pouty, the bottom lip just a bit larger than the top.
She bites the bottom one lightly, and my hand reaches up to cup her cheek, freeing the tortured skin with my thumb. I pull her close and lean down once again.
"Would you rather I bite it for you?" I whisper in my most seductive voice.
There's an immediate reaction. Her eyes widen and her tongue darts out to lick her lips, brushing my thumb as well. She reaches up and wraps her hands around the back of my neck, bringing our faces closer.
"Be careful, Edward," she says softly. "I think that between us, I'm more likely to be the biter between us."
To emphasize her point, she presses her mouth to mine, nibbling on my bottom lip with her teeth lightly. And that's all it takes for my control to be shot to hell. Her hair is silky soft as I bury my hands in it, kissing her as if my life depended on it. Her mouth opens slightly and there's barely any tongue action going on, but this is seriously the hottest kiss I've ever experienced.
Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I'm beginning to realize that this girl will turn my life upside down in a very good way. For a brief moment, blue eyes and blonde hair cross my mind, and I immediately feel guilty.
Why? I have no fucking idea. Is it because I'm deviating from system? Or is it because this girl, whom I've only known for about fifteen minutes, deserves so much better than me? All I know for certain is that the guilt definitely isn't for the bitch who slept with my brother while we were still together. The bitch I still love. Maybe it's my own heart I feel bad for; it's tattered and torn, but I have no idea how to fix it.
As if sensing my mind is elsewhere, Bella pulls back and her eyes dart between mine. She shakes her head nervously and covers her mouth with a hand.
"I am so sorry," she said. "This—the kissing and rubbing up on you—it's not me. I thought- I can't- I'm so sorry."
She ends in a whisper, and her eyes well up with tears before she turns and darts into the crowd. I'm frozen to the spot, watching as Bella walks away. Even though I've just been having similar thoughts, all of the air leaves my body and I can't breathe. I need to have her back in my arms.
I watch, still immobile, as she stops at a table where her friend is now sitting with a redhead. Raven, as I'm now apparently calling her friend in my head, looks over at me and shoots me a sad smile before hugging Bella.
When I see her make her way to the exit, I find the will to move my feet. I can't let her disappear. I catch up with her just as she steps out into the cool Seattle night air.
"Bella, wait!" I call out.
A sigh escapes my throat when she stops, her arms wrapped around her torso. She turns and eyes me warily. There's nothing I can say, so I step up to her and kiss her deeply. She freezes for a moment, but quickly wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me back.
"Come home with me," I whisper boldly. "I'm not ready to say goodbye to you."
There's a war going on inside her. I can see nameless emotions cross her face, her brow furrowed in thought. I plead with my eyes, hoping she can see just how much I mean what I'm saying. She straightens her shoulders, determination sweeping over her, and nods.
"Okay," she whispers.
We hail a cab and climb into it. I ramble off my address to the driver, suddenly nervous. I've never had a woman in this apartment, unless you count my mother and Aunt Carmen. I've lived there just about ten months now. After coming home from work to find my girlfriend and my brother in bed together, I turned around and left. Well, after beating the shit out of my older and larger brother. It helped that, in his guilt, he just stood there and never fought back. I crashed in my old room at my parent's house and went back to the apartment the next day to pack up my stuff, while she was at work.
My mom and dad were appalled at Emmett's behavior and refused to let him in the door for the two months it took me to get my shit together, find a new apartment, and leave their house. The first time I walked into my new home, I swore that I'd never bring over any woman ever again.
Now, here I am, breaking not one, but two of my rules. Although sleeping with women that allow me to live in my fantasies of the person who destroyed my heart is more of a predilection as opposed to a rule.
We pull up in front of my building, and I pay the cabbie. Taking a deep breath, I step out and reach for Bella's hand, offering to help her out. She gives me a shy smile and nervously plays with her hair. These small actions bolster my confidence and somehow I just know this is the right call, even though there's a small voice in the back of my head, taunting me with my past.
The elevator pings as we reach the fifth floor, and I lead us to my door. After unlocking it, I step inside and flip on the light, not remembering if it looked like a pigsty when I left earlier. Thankfully, it isn't, and I give Bella a brief tour. I leave my bedroom for last and can't help but smirk as her wide eyes take in my king size bed.
"Holy shit," she laughs. "I think your bed is bigger than my kitchen."
Her laugh sends a thrill down my spine. I've never heard anyone laugh like that, as if pure joy is escaping her soul. It's the same laugh that pulled me to her earlier tonight.
Bella slides off her shoes, wiggling her toes into the plush gold carpet. She turns and gives me a coy smile, all trace of nerves gone now. She walks up and kisses me swiftly before slowly backing away a few steps. Suddenly, she turns and runs across the room, launching herself onto my bed with a fit of giggles.
My erection has been at half-mast since we left the bar, but watching this woman roll around playfully in my bed has brought it back to life in full force. Once again, I'm struck with thoughts of how Bella is the polar opposite of her.
I don't want those thoughts intruding on my time with Bella. I only have tonight, and I'm damned well going to take my time. I sit on the edge of the bed and return the smile she sends my way.
"I'm sorry," she apologizes breathlessly. "I couldn't resist."
I move closer and lean down, hovering above her side to brush my nose against her cheek..
"I know the feeling," I whisper, just before brushing my lips against hers.
Nibbling on her upper lip, I press my hips into hers, letting her feel how hard I am. Her head is thrown back into the pillows as she gasps, threading her fingers through my hair. I slide my hands down her sides and slowly push her shirt up, revealing a black lace bra. She arches her back as I reach underneath to unclasp the hooks. Once her breasts are free, I take my time, cupping and suckling each in turn. Bella's incredibly passionate and responsive, which turns me on even more than I already was.
Needing to feel more of her, I rise up and pull her onto my lap, cupping the back of her head and kissing her hard. I pull the shirt over her head and toss it, along with her bra, to the floor. Her hips grind into my lap, and I can't help myself as I shove her roughly back onto the bed, unzipping and tearing her jeans down her legs. Gazing at her supple body in wonder, I'm struck breathless by this beautiful, naked woman writhing in front of me.
"Edward," she moans in a deep, sexy voice. "You have too many clothes on."
She's totally right.
More swiftly than I thought physically possible, I'm standing next to my bed, naked and stroking my hard cock as she eyes me hungrily. She crooks her finger in a "come hither" motion and I slowly crawl toward her, prowling like a panther. She bites her bottom lip, and all I want to do is bite it for her. Instead, I opt to rain soft kisses across her belly, dipping my tongue into her navel before trailing down to the apex of her thighs.
The moment my tongue lightly touches her clit, a shudder rips through her body, giving me all the incentive I need to go to town. I slide one finger into her warmth, quickly adding another, as I alternate between licking and sucking on her clit. Her hips come off the bed, and I feel like a fucking rock star.
"Oh, God," she moans. "Oh, fuck. Fuck, yes."
She's the quietest woman I've ever slept with. I used to equate a good fuck with how high the girl's decibels went, but with Bella, I'm finding that less is more.
I play with her body, bringing her right to edge but not letting her fall over the precipice.
"Edward, please," she whispers desperately.
"What, baby? What do you want?" I glance up to see her brown eyes burning wild with desire.
The quiet fire in her voice unhinges me. Suddenly, everything is a blur until I'm lying flat on my back, her undulating her hips above me, as I'm burying my cock deep inside of her. Her knees press into the sides of my hips as she pushes down hard against me. She's hot and wet, and I'm wondering just how long I'll be able to last before I blow my load.
And I'm not wearing a condom. The thought freezes me in my tracks. I can guarantee I'm clean; I've never fucked without wrapping my Johnson. But I know nothing about this girl. The last thing I need in my fucked up life is to knock up a one night stand.
"Shit," I whisper, stilling her movements by grasping her hips.
She pulls back and looks down at me with confusion written across her face. "What?" she asks nervously.
I swallow and shift our hips so that my erection slides out of her, plopping against my hip.
"Protection," I reply softly.
"Oh!" she squeals, sitting upright. Her eyes widen and her cheeks blush with embarrassment. "Shit," she murmurs. "I can't believe I got so caught up."
My dick is going limp, and I need to break through the awkwardness.
"It's okay," I replied with a touch a humor, waggling my eyebrows. "I know I'm irresistible."
Just as I'd hoped, she laughs and slaps me lightly on the chest. She eases herself backward, so that she's kneeling between my open legs.
"Do you have any condoms?" she asks.
I nod, rolling over slightly to reach into my night table drawer, and pull one out. She takes it from my hand and tears it open with her teeth. Leaning down, her hair falls forward and obscures her from my view. I'm taken by surprise when her tongue runs along the length of my shaft.
"Fuck," I grunt, my eyes rolling into the back of my head briefly.
Reaching forward, I gather up her hair in my hands and hold it off to the side. She glances up at me, her eyes dark as her mouth works my cock. The fact that she doesn't seem to mind sucking me off while her own taste is still on me makes the urge to shoot into her mouth almost impossible to ignore. I need to take some control back in this situation, so I pull on her hair, gently enough not to hurt her, but strong enough that she knows I mean business.
"Get up here," I growl.
She smirks up at me, slowly making her way up my body. I yank the condom from her hand and quickly sheath myself before flipping her onto her back. Nestling in between her legs, I sink in deeply with one stroke. It's not long before she's gasping and whining as I pound into her. I can feel that we're both getting close, but I don't want it to end. For the first time in so long, it isn't about getting off while thinking of someone else. It's about the girl I'm with and enjoying how she feels.
It's not enough; I want to feel more.
I lean back slightly and hook one of her legs on my thigh before shifting so that she's on her side in somewhat of a scissored position. I want to fuck her hard and fast, but I can't in this position. I'm too deep, and it would probably hurt her. And for some reason, I care about this girl.
I grip her leg and stretch it into the air, gently kissing the arch of her feet as she squirms beneath me. I feel her muscles start to tighten, and her body quakes beneath me. Realizing she's just as close to orgasming as I am , I let my hand caress down her thigh until I reach where we're joined. I rub my thumb against her clit, and she starts to mewl wantonly. I feel myself falling over the edge just as she calls out my name, her inner muscles spasming around me.
Collapsing breathlessly beside her, my entire body aches from exertion. I know I'll be hurting in the morning, but it was so worth it. I lift my ass just enough to pull down the covers and shift underneath, when I notice her begin to fidget.
"Do you-" she stutters slightly, her voice small and nervous. "Should I go?"
If this was any other night with a random blonde, I'd say yes in a heartbeat. But for some reason, I can't bring myself to let her go, so I shake my head and offer her a spot under the blanket. She curls up with her back against my chest and sighs.
"Goodnight, Edward," she whispers sleepily.
"Goodnight, Bella," I reply as I lay a kiss on the top of her head.
This has been more intimate than any other sexual encounter I've had in my life, and I don't even know her. I only know that her name is Bella and she has the cutest laugh and a great sense of humor. I know that I can't let her leave without having some way to find her again. Because there will be a next time; I can guarantee it.