1. His earliest human memory is crying whilst Kreacher shoved mush into his mouth and his mother cooed to him about the filthiness of Muggles and Muggle-borns.

2. His first sign of magic emerged when he was a mere six months old. He had been crying all day and his father wished to withhold his bottle from him to teach him not to wail so much. Eventually the bottle zoomed into his hands. His father was very pleased that he had shown magic at such a young age. It was one of the few times in his first son's life that he was ever pleased with the boy.

3. Before he went to Hogwarts, Sirius's little brother was his absolute best friend. Regulus and Sirius did everything together as children, and Sirius often protected his sibling from their parents' abuse, at his own risk. When he did not manage to save Reg, Sirius would nearly cry himself and then spend hours comforting him and cheering him up.

4. Sirius's first kiss was with a very pretty Pureblood girl at a family party. She bit him. It was then that he decided he would not marry or date a high-society pure-blood Slytherin girl. Snogging them was not off limits, however.

5. Instead of feeling excited over receiving his Hogwarts letter, Sirius felt his heart sink when he saw the owl approach because he so dreaded being sorted into Slytherin and spending the next seven years with people just like his family members.

6. On his first train ride to Hogwarts, Sirius allowed himself to pretend that he would be sorted into Gryffindor with the messy-haired boy and that he, along with the other boys in the compartment, would all become the very best of friends. When they got off he gloomily decided that it had been the best several hours of his entire life.

7. On that same train ride he noticed the way James kept glancing at the crying red-haired girl in the corner. When the greasy-haired boy came in Sirius had no choice but to make fun of him along with James; he automatically tried to eliminate all competition for the girl's affections. It was the sort of thing Sirius hoped a friend would do for him, and he silently prayed that perhaps this gesture would encourage James to be his friend, even if he was a Slytherin.

8. Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor after roughly forty-five seconds with the Sorting Hat on his head; afterward he was so shocked that he sat on the stool until McGonagall physically pulled him off of it by the arm.

9. Their first night in the dorm, James kept everyone up late trying to make them talk about themselves in order to become best friends. He himself chattered brightly about Quidditch and teachers and, periodically, the girl named Lily Evans, who had been sorted into their house. The boy called Peter seemed too nervous and awkward to say a word. Remus Lupin was quiet, reserved, and seemingly uninterested in becoming pals with any of them. James tired quickly of their boring attitudes and insisted Sirius accompany him to explore the castle. Under James' invisibility cloak, wandering the impressive halls of Hogwarts, they became very fast friends.

10. Growing up, Sirius had always been thin because he hated eating food Kreacher made for him. He was always secretly afraid that the elf would try to poison him because of their mutual hatred for one another. When he arrived at Hogwarts he ate ravenously at each meal. His favorite foods became: steak (cooked medium), French bread, roast chicken, mince pie, chocolate cake, pumpkin muffins, and blancmange. Candies: chocolate frogs, fudge flies, and Sugar Quills (especially because the way he sucked on them in class made girls stare). Drinks: pumpkin juice (naturally), coffee, and of course, Firewhiskey.

11. Peter became friends with James and Sirius after a few weeks. The three of them harassed Remus so much that he eventually consented to start hanging out with them. Sirius was pleasantly surprised to see that despite his studious and serious nature, Remus did have a mischievous side.

12. Sirius did not try out for Quidditch despite his considerable skills on a broom because he knew there was no way he could commit to regularly showing up for practices. He also did not wish to compete in any way with James, who was practically salivating at the thought of making the Gryffindor team.

13. His favorite class of Hogwarts quickly became Defense against the Dark Arts. He was naturally very good at it. It was in this class that he met Marlene McKinnon. He was immediately impressed by her proclivity for the practical aspects of the course.

14. Although DADA was his favorite class, Minerva McGonagall was his favorite professor. He occasionally got away with calling her "Minnie", although she would dock points from her own house for this if she was in a foul mood. Despite her stern nature, Sirius was always aware of the maternal sort of affection she felt for him. She was more of a mum to him than his real mother had ever been.

15. Sirius first kissed a Hogwarts girl around the end of his first year. A second-year Ravenclaw asked him out. He hadn't known how to explain to her the fact that he would never be anyone's boyfriend, so he'd simply kissed her. After he quickly pulled away, he politely told her, "No, thank you," and she ran away giggling furiously.

16. The first time Sirius was drunk was the middle of his second year. He and James had stolen Firewhiskey from some sixth-years during the last Gryffindor victory party. Peter was passed out after three shots. Remus refused to participate. Sirius and James got quite intoxicated, but did nothing but bounce about the dormitory laughing like children at their own daring and each other's stupid jokes.

17. Sirius and Regulus's already-strained relationship completely ended at the start of Sirius's third year. Regulus called Marlene a blood traitor and a bitch. Sirius promptly punched his little brother in the face when he heard and told him to kindly piss off before apologizing on Regulus's behalf to Marlene. Sirius did not demonstrate how deeply the incident and the loss of his brother affected him.

18. Sirius dubbed he and his friends "the Marauders" due to a letter from his mum, in which she accused him of "marauding with his despicable friends" because he had stolen Firewhiskey and attacked Regulus.

19. A few weeks after the run-in with Regulus, Peter came to Sirius and James, very white-faced, and informed them of his suspicions of Remus's lycanthropy. He was so upset and fearful that he was on the verge of tears. Sirius nearly insulted him for this, but James shot him a look and thanked Peter for coming to them. They confronted Remus that evening in the dorm. He said shakily that he supposed this was the end of their friendship. Terrified by the prospect of losing another person so important to him, and unafraid of Remus's condition, Sirius laughed and called his friend a bloody idiot. James agreed. Remus burst into tears, at which point each of them took turns hugging him. The whole thing was disgustingly mushy to Sirius, but he would do anything to make Remus feel better. In the same night the other Marauders decided to begin studying to become Animagi.

20. During the Fourth Year, because his friends were busy becoming Animagi, Remus attempted to start work on the Marauders' Map by himself as a sort of thanks. Sirius discovered it among Remus's school things while searching for a bit of parchment to borrow. He immediately informed Peter and James and it became a group project.

21. The summer after his fourth year, Sirius lost his virginity to a seventeen-year-old, very beautiful Muggle girl who also lived in London. He was fifteen. He told his brother just to shock him, the Marauders for congratulations (although Remus just lectured him), and Marlene, because he wanted to make her jealous. To his dismay, she remarked simply, "Cool," and went back to talking to Lily.

22. At the beginning of the fifth year, Sirius, James, and Peter succeeded in becoming Animagi. The full moon quickly became something Sirius looked forward to with extreme excitement each month.

23. It was also during the fifth year that Sirius began to especially hate Snape, partially because his freaky little friends had taken to cursing all the Gryffindor girls, including Marlene. Despite this hatred, he would never forgive himself for his horrible attempt at pranking him. Remus gently forgave him, but James and Peter barely spoke to him for a week. It was the worst time he ever had at Hogwarts.

24. Sirius was always wary of Lily Evans because of the way she made James feel. Anyone that caused his best mate so much pain couldn't be trusted. Once Lily and James began to date and it became apparent that they were nothing short of soul-mates, Sirius warmed up to her. Anyone that caused his best mate so much joy had to be trusted.

25. Sirius had a rather pleasant singing voice, but only a select few were permitted to hear it. It often came out when he was drunk.

26. The drunkest he had ever been, to his dying day, was when he took a shot of Firewhiskey every time James messed up his hair. He played the game only for an hour, but was so inebriated that he was carried to the Hospital Wing by James and Remus. McGonagall was so worried and so angry that she gave him a month's worth of detention and berated Remus, as a prefect, for not stopping him. Dumbledore visited Sirius and did nothing but twinkle his eyes at him in a very benign way.

27. When Sirius left his parents' house the summer after the fifth year, he screamed at them the name of every Muggle girl he'd ever shagged, the name of every Muggle-born witch he'd ever shagged, told them they would and should rot in hell, and then very calmly asked Regulus if he would like to come with him. Regulus immediately turned him down, although the expression on his face was very strange indeed. Sirius left with his trunk of school things, clothes, and some money without asking again.

28. When Sirius showed up on James' doorstep, James did not demand an explanation. He was in his pajamas and sipping from a mug of tea. He yawned lazily and offered Sirius some, to which Sirius politely inquired if there was any Earl Grey.

29. By the middle of his sixth year, Sirius had snogged: 19 Gryffindors (and shagged 8), 20 Hufflepuffs (and shagged 7), 16 Ravenclaws, (and shagged 5), and 10 Slytherins (and shagged 2). Before snogging or shagging Slytherins he had to ensure they weren't related (or if they were, it had to be very, very, very distantly or only through marriage), and he didn't snog or shag Gryffindor girls in his own year.

30. The aforementioned rule was because Dorcas, Lily, Alice, and Molly were taken, and he believed that Marlene was above a one-time snag or shog, as much as he'd have liked to do it.

31. Despite this, they did snog for the first time during the Sixth Year. This happened again and again until it developed into something resembling a relationship, but Sirius was too immature to make it work and the romance was full of problems.

32. When James was made Quidditch captain in their seventh year, Sirius showed up for trials as a joke. He played excellently but stopped repeatedly to flirt with female members of the team. He also shouted loud obscenities every time the Quaffle flew within twenty feet of him. James was stony-faced and refused to allow him on the team, a decision that Sirius graciously accepted.

33. The seventh year was Sirius's worst at Hogwarts for many reasons. Regulus had joined or was about to join the group calling themselves the Death Eaters. Peter began taking easy offense to James' and Sirius's normally ignored, casual teasing. People were dying left and right, often at the hands of his mad family members. All Slytherins, even the ones he had shagged (now up to five) began hexing and cursing Gryffindors more viciously than ever. And above all, all of his friends had found their soul-mates- and Sirius was quite honestly too afraid to make a real move for the girl he believed to be his.

34. At the end of the Seventh Year, Sirius asked Marlene to be his girlfriend- his actual girlfriend. No cheating, no lying, no screaming matches- just the two of them.

35. Sirius initially moved in with James and Remus after graduation (Peter claimed he'd had enough of living with that messy lot for seven years), but the situation quickly devolved into Remus screeching at them to "Clean up for Godric's sake!" and each of them constantly Apparating to visit their girlfriends.

36. Sirius got his own flat in London and Marlene moved in. They joined the Order together and planned to start Auror training per Moody's suggestion.

37. Sirius had sworn from the age of seven never to marry, and as much as he loved Marlene, he did not want to ruin their relationship by putting paperwork to it.

38. When Dorcas died wearing the ring Remus had bought for her a mere two days before, Sirius's mind changed on the subject of marriage.

39. When Marlene told him, smiling nervously, that she was pregnant, it sealed the deal.

40. The thought of being a dad was an idea that Sirius had always loved, which was somewhat ironic considering he'd have sooner died than get married. When Harry had been born, looking like a mini James with Lily's green eyes, Sirius realized just how much he wanted that for himself. And there wasn't a single person he'd rather do it with than Marlene, whom he'd loved, consciously or not, since he was twelve years old.

41. Sirius was adamant about naming the baby James Remus Peter Black if it was a boy. Marlene thought it was too long and hinted she'd like to take the Peter out. Sirius considered it.

42. If it was a girl, Marlene wished her to be named Minerva Lily Dorcas McKinnon Black. Sirius pointed out that she'd criticized his long name and hinted that she should take out the McKinnon and the "Dork-ass". Marlene began to threaten to tell Dorcas that he'd called her that again, and then went pale when she realized…

Sirius immediately agreed that the "Dorcas" part could stay.

43. Sirius kissed Marlene for the last time before she left to visit her family and tell them the baby news.

44. He was the one to tell Lily that Marlene had died along with her family. From her letter, she hadn't known that Marlene had died- she'd just said, "the McKinnons", as if one of them hadn't been her best friend since she was eleven.

44. At Marlene's funeral Sirius sobbed more than he ever had in his life. It wasn't just her funeral- it was the funeral of his little James Remus Peter Minerva Lily Dorcas McKinnon Black. Remus looked as if he knew exactly how he felt, James looked scared, and Peter looked strangely ill at the sound of his cries.

45. Sirius had been so consumed by grief that he had looked over these details about Peter; details he would have certainly caught otherwise. He convinced James to make Peter Secret Keeper out of lingering guilt over the Snape/Willow incident. He'd betrayed a friend then- what if he did it again?

46. Sirius had not thought any day in his life would be as horrible as the day Marlene died- until Halloween Night, 1981.

47. When Sirius was arrested he laughed because surely, surely the Aurors realized it was preposterous that he would ever betray James and Lily. Surely it was ridiculous that they wouldn't be after Peter now, as full of the desire to kill as he was, ready to rip the traitor into a million pieces…

48. Remus did not visit him before he went to Azkaban and he did not write to him. This did not surprise Sirius but it did make him feel so hopeless that his entire body went positively weak.

49. Sirius considered suicide in Azkaban after the Dementors repeatedly forced him to relive the death of his best friends and fianceé.

50. After James and Marlene had gone, Sirius did not at all fear death. Once he had reunited with Harry, he hated to leave him, but he could not truly be afraid of dying when he knew what awaited him on the other side. James, Marlene, Dorcas, Lily, even his little baby….

As the curse hit him, he thought affectionately, "I'll be along shortly, you lot."