When the Going gets tough,
The Tough eat grapes.
Embodiment of Torturous Death
5 : The Southern Paradise: Who's Bad?
The last of the youkai from Gensokyo walked through the gateway into the humid, tropical paradise that Reimu lead them to and, when Yasaka Kanako, sure that all the youkai have indeed crossed over, went through the portal as well and shortly after, the Hakurei maiden closed it with a simple command. The portal showing the dying Gensokyo slowly became smaller and smaller until it collapsed into a small whirlpool identical to what it was before it was opened.
"What now, Reimu?" asked the Moriya earth goddess, Suwako, half-buried in the ground.
Oh, of course the ground was not that soft; Suwako, being an earth goddess, had the ability to swim through earth like a dolphin would swim through water.
"Call the other Moriya goddess first," said Reimu distractedly as she looked to her sides and then, a while later, the Suwako just having gone off to find Kanako, popped a strawberry lollipop into her mouth when she was sure no-one was looking.
Meanwhile, the near-innumerable youkai and humans found themselves trying to deal with the soil, which seemed at first to be solid soil, but turned out to be a foot-deep layer of soft mud over a more solid layer of silt. For all of them, it was a brand-new experience; moist, spicy air, soft, icky mud and moss-ridden trees all 'round them. The carefree youkai and the innocent children were having a blast, playing with the mud and forming mud-castles. The flesh-eating youkai even joined in, an unspoken temporary truce between them and the humans so that they could join in on the fun. The more 'mature' adult humans, on the other hand, were more occupied with keeping their clothes and good shoes away from the ground.
Laughter filled the air and amongst the joyful masses, Moriya Suwako found the Moriya storm goddess revelling amongst the youkai; her clothes were messy and spattered with mud, her hair untidy and a happy grin on her face. Apparently, she had been having a mudball fight with a bunch of youkai.
"Hey, Kanako!" called out the cute little froggy-goddess, waving her little arms in front of the taller, but younger goddess' face. Alas, it seemed like Kanako did not hear and, with a big "Fire in the Hole," threw a fist-sized mudball at a mud-caked mouse youkai.
In return, a wolf tengu threw a slightly smaller, but still formidable piece of earth aimed at Kanako. However, it just had to miss horribly and hit Moriya Suwako instead.
Moriya Suwako felt something wet and hard hit the back of her neck and knew what it was immediately. She could feel the clammy cold touch of the mudball on her smooth, divine skin and she hated it. She hated it so much she could cry… and she did. It was a few tears at first, but it soon became a flood when the little goddess started bawling like a baby.
Yasaka Kanako had to hold her mouth as she cuddled Suwako in an attempt to calm her down and to avoid seeing that unbearably adorable face. It's a wonder why she did not collapse as soon as she saw that face, for lesser beings have been known to happily die of heart failure from just getting a glimpse of such cuteness.
Everyone around the two, curious, turned around and fell down one-by-one, rivers of blood gushing from their noses like water from a hot spring.
Well, if heart failure doesn't do it, then death by blood loss is another way to go.
The storm goddess gently patted the back of while hushing her older but younger comrade, and in half a minute, her bawling was reduced to a light sobbing, but by then, it was too late, and over a hundred youkai and humans had already fallen down, their combined blood somehow forming a giant red "No Regrets" message on the ground.
Amongst the field of corpses and blood was a sole survivor; our beloved miko of Hakurei. She held her gohei to the side, and, after one tense second, raised it above her and slammed it into the ground. The effect was immediate; the seemingly lifeless bodies suddenly jumped up, then fell down again, only to stand up again, gradually as Reimu slowly raised her gohei like a conductor does.
Reimu stretched her arms to the sides and unwittingly hit a youkai's skull, creating a sound like that of a bass drum that set the youkai in motion; hip-hop dance, to be specific.
The nearby youkai started banging on the trees, making a one-two-one-two sort of beat while the others went and performed the pumping dance move like what Michael Jackson did in Billie Jean, all the while all the other youkai not involved just watched from the air.
When a lone green-haired parasol-bearing flower youkai started doing the moonwalk, surrounded by lesser youkai still doing the pumping move, Hakurei Reimu suddenly snapped out of whatever trance she was in to ignore such an event and realised what the youkai are doing and well… her jaw dropped to the ground. Who could expect youkai to dance like that all of a sudden?
She felt a pair of hands pull on her skirt and, as soon as she saw who did so, she had to blink twice, confused as hell. When did Suwako and Kanako ever move to her side? She ponders about it for a moment, but then decided it would be best to leave it alone. For all she knows, maybe they walked over while the youkai were busy with their choreography? Maybe…
Reimu was about to stoop down and talk to Suwako when suddenly, there was a final bang on whatever the youkai are drumming and all the dancers suddenly pointed their hand towards the sky, hands on their hips and, at the exact same moment, they said, "Who's Bad!"
Immediately after, they dancers dispersed like nothing ever happened and Reimu, sparing herself a sigh, formed a square with herself, Suwako, Kanako, and somehow, Marisa. "Listen, she said. "We will split ways here."
Characters, spell cards and scenarios belong to ZUN -Team Shanghai Alice
Michael Jackson is Michael Jackson.
Written by: Zurocha, the Blood-Tea-Lovin' Vampire of Ragnarök
Special Credits: Michael Jackson, for creating wonderful music that I and many others enjoy.
The story made a turn for the serious, but I can still joke, can't I?
NO MORTAL SHALL STAY STANDING WHEN SUWAKO DOTH SHED TEARS!
And yeah… a very big Michael Jackson reference. Why did I make this chapter so… light? The same reason why ZUN made Rin's theme so happy.
It's also the smallest ever chapter (I think) to be a part of the arc /EoTD/.
Another reason is that I can't seem to find a scene to fill up the space between the exodus and the negotiations, so I made this and whoopie!
Michael Jackson FTW. 'nuff said!