Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor do I own The Game.
(If you don't know of The Game, it'll be explained throughout the fic, with a recap at the end ^^)
Calm. Quiet. Civilized.
This was the Akatsuki base - well, sort of - before it had happened.
Yes siree, after that day, nothing had ever been the same again.
Curious? Settle down and I'll tell you all about it.
It had started on a day not unlike today.
The sun was shining. The birds were singing. Hidan was swearing at the TV. The others were telling him to shut up. Hidan swore at the others.
A pretty average day, wouldn't you agree?
Tobi burst into the room five minutes after the Jashinist's swearing had quietened down.
"Tobi says hello!"
"You're going to get it."
"Shut the f*ck up!"
Tobi did not seem dejected by the three responses and instead proceeded to the centre of the room.
"Tobi has a good way to beat boredom!"
"So do we. That's why the TV is on."
"I already told you to shut the hell up!"
"Actually what you said was f*ck-"
"Doesn't anyone want to hear Tobi's idea?"
"No." The white side of Zetsu frowned at himself. "That's not nice. I want to hear Tobi's idea."
"What about you senpai?"
"…un," Deidara deadpanned at being addressed by his partner, hoping his less than enthusiastic response would put Tobi off.
No such luck.
"Yay! I'll tell you then! We can play the game!"
"So how do you play it?" White Zetsu asked, intrigued.
"That doesn't make any sense," Zetsu decided, disappearing through the floor.
"Yes it does! Tobi heard about it when he came back from a mission but Tobi had forgotten up until now." He placed a hand behind his head in a sheepish gesture. "When you think of the game, you lose the game and you have to tell everyone."
"I don't want to," Kisame replied, his eyes not once moving from the screen.
Tobi shook his head wildly. "No no, you don't understand Kisame-san! You can't not play the game!"
"Sure I can. I don't want to, so I'm not going to."
"It's in the rules Kisame-san!"
"Rules are there to be broken, un."
"No! You can't break the game's rules!" The orange masked member squealed, succeeding in pissing off the other members.
"We're not playing the f*cking game you irritating little -"
"You'll see," Tobi interrupted in a voice that sounded nothing like his. "You'll be playing the game soon…" He edged towards the door. "Soon!" He cried in insanity before disappearing from the room.
The other's reactions were to look at each other, shrug, and resume watching their show.
Little did they know our favourite masked maniac was soon going to be proved right…
"I don't care what any of you say, that show was f*cking amazing." Hidan paused. "And as for that chick…"
Whilst the other members debated - read: had an argument about - the show, Kisame sat still and quiet.
"What's wrong with sharky?"
"You mean besides him being blue and owning a chakra eating sword, un?"
"Hey, Kisame…Wake the f*ck up."
Kisame sat for another minute, suddenly frowning. "Dammit. I lost the game."
"Oh shit. Now there's two of them."
"Crap…Doesn't that mean we've all lost the game, yeah?"
"F*ck off…The blonde bitch is right!"
"…I thought we weren't playing the game."
"Kakuzu, shut the hell up! The more you say it, the worse it gets!"
"Why don't we just not think of the game?"
"Bastard, you've just made it even more difficult!"
"I can't get it out of my f*cking head!"
"You mean the game?" Kisame sniggered as his fellow sufferers - I mean members - pulled faces, scowling.
"That's it! Prepare to f*cking die, you f*cking-"
The door opened, Leader-sama and Konan standing in the door way.
The female blinked slowly. "Should I ask?"
Immediately all the members present rushed to the door way, shouting various obscenities.
"It was all Tobi, yeah!"
"Then the fish bastard continued this shit!"
"It's stuck in my mind! It isn't my fault!"
"But Tobi did start it."
"Get it the f*ck out of my head!"
Pein frowned, allowing the babble to continue for a few seconds until he decided no sense was going to come out of them - later he saw how foolish he was to be expecting sense from these members. I mean, come on: a guy who stabs himself for his religion; an artist who believes blowing things up is true beauty; an old man obsessed with money and Kisame, the resident fish-man? - and spoke.
"Be quiet. Now…Deidara, tell me what happened."
And thus Deidara began to tell of Tobi's interruption with the stupid game and how none of them had brought it and how Tobi had began talking like a maniac, and then how after watching the show - which was amazing, by the way - Kisame had gotten the game stuck in his head and that it had spread.
Pein snorted. I mean it. Pein, Leader of the Akatsuki had actually showed some emotion. Feel free to faint with shock.
"Imbeciles. You're all too weak to stand against this 'game'? And you wonder why I don't pay you…"
While Konan mentally swooned at Leader-sama's heroics - or maybe that should be villian-ics? Ugh, I give up - the four members gaped at him.
"But Leader-sama, you can't go against it-"
"Fools. I'll show you how it's done."
(Half a minute later…)
"What's wrong Leader-sama?"
"I think I just lost the game."
"F*ck!" Hidan cussed, looking ready to kill the orange haired man.
"Dammit, un!" Deidara snapped, noting to strangle the orange masked one for starting this off.
"No!" Kakuzu covered his ears, trying to think about money.
"Crap." Kisame completed the idiocy by bringing his head down to smack it on the table.
Tobi - who happened to be standing outside at the time - snickered to himself, despite the fact he'd infected his organisation with the mind virus.
It was always good to keep them on their toes.
TT's guide to 'The Game':
. When you hear/see/think 'The Game', you lose the game. You must tell at least one other person of your loss.
. As Tobi said, you cannot not play The Game. Once you have been subjected to it, you are playing. Now that you have read it here, you have lost multiple times over. You can be nice and wait half an hour before losing again, or you can continue losing each time you hear/see/think it like I have done here.
. For more info, strategies, etc, type 'The Game' into Google.
It seems I cannot write anything serious for the Akatsuki. Itachi is never involved in the crack, either. Hm.
Happy game playing! ^_^ (Sorry if you hate me now.)