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Another end. Another katra lost.

Sarek of Vulcan understood the pain that came with loss. He understood the difficulty of controlling the ache that came with the emptiness, keeping its resonance down to a tolerable level so that life could continue. He, himself, struggled with that every day as well as with the uncertain direction his and his people's lives would take. It was not easy.

What he did not understand was this final decision, taking one's own life, a life needed for its contributions and potential. A life valued.

He looked again at the lifeless body of Selen, the embassy gardener, lying nestled in the sea of living greenery and the vibrant colors from the plants that he had cared for so attentively. The garden was lush, harmonious, restful, tranquil…

Disquieting that Selen, himself, had not found harmony.

Mentally Sarek reviewed every interaction with the gardener since Selen's arrival with other Vulcan refugees. The gardener was agreeable, interacting well with other embassy members. Selen had stated that he found his work fulfilling and socialized occasionally with his coworkers. Where there was assistance needed, Selen had proven to be intelligent, willing, and resourceful beyond the scope of his duties. In a short time, he had become a welcome and integral addition to the embassy's small community.

So how had he come to be lying here? What details had Sarek and others missed?

Via the portable message device found next to his body, Selen asked forgiveness for the inconvenience his death would cause. He left directions for the dispersal of his limited possessions to his associates. He wished his colleagues peace and long life. But he said nothing else.

Sarek signed the coroner's PADD as the officers lifted Selen's still form onto the gurney. There would be an autopsy to ensure that foul play had not been a factor. There would be questions and interviews with the authorities as they tried to understand the sequence of motivations and events that led to this result.

And after they left, Sarek would inform his staff of this loss. He would implement Selen's instructions. He would assist in the rituals of death. His mind would churn, fixated on searching for clues, reviewing everything he knew about Selen and his last days, looking for a common thread between Selen and the others who had made the same decision before him.

And, illogically, though he would never find his answer, he would continue to ask "Why?"


Author's Note: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), 24/7, free and confidential, nationwide network of crisis centers. If you are thinking about ending your life, DON'T! There is help—people WANT to help—and there is hope. CALL NOW!

If you know someone who may be thinking about suicide, and you don't know what do to, call the same number: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).


June 19, 2013: VickyFromGreece has written a sequel-complement to this story. In Let It Be (Story #9403462), Sarek receives guidance and peace from a very special source. Though it may pull a tear or two, it ends on a positive note. To find it, click on my name, then go to my list of favorites.