Peter's POV about what happened between him and Olivia. 3x9 Marionette.
"She's everywhere. I don't want to wear my clothes, I don't want to sleep in my bed, I don't even want to be with you. She's taken everything!"
Ouch. That hurt.
I should've noticed. I did notice. She was different. I thought that was because of me; I thought it was because love makes you a different person. She was quicker to smile, and I thought it was because I made her happy.
Maybe I did. She made me happy. We had something beautiful together, something precious. But it was tainted by the fact that it wasn't really her.
I hope Olivia knows that I love her. Her, not that otherworldly Olivia. I hope she realizes that and forgives me before it's too late.
I shouldn't have made excuses. Maybe Olivia's right. Why couldn't I see that it wasn't her when I looked into her eyes?
I screwed up. What we had was fragile to begin with, and now, I'm afraid that the damage is permanent.
What I've done is irrevocable.
I thought what I had was too good to be real, and it was. But I don't regret it. I don't regret the happy moments, don't regret waking up next to her in the same bed, don't regret doing the morning crossword together. I don't regret those little mundane things that make up love.
I feel like I'm betraying Olivia every time I think about that happiness and remember her.
I love Olivia, I really do.
But I don't understand what I'm feeling. I can't even imagine what she must be feeling.
For the first time in my life, I don't know what to do.