The rules of my life by tali DiNozzo

1) i am not allowed to play tricks on uncle tim even if daddy pays me.
2) i am not to curse in english or in any other language
3) i am not allowed to trick dad, mum, either of my granddads, uncles or aunts into giving me money
4) i am not allowed to publicly annouce that i own and carry a fully loaded gun and knife (and know how to use them)
4)I am not to use my "ninja" skills (as dad likes to call them) on anyone accept my training instructor (also known as mum) and only during a training session or during an attack.
5) i am not allowed to ask about grandma jenny infront of grandpa gibbs
6) i am not allowed to tease others about their size shape stength(that means you uncle tim!) or geekiness( sorry, you again uncle tim)
7) i am not allowed to talk about my parents or siblings or any other person behind their back (unless grandpa gibbs is angry, then i spill everything)
8) i am not allowed to pester mum,dad, granddads,uncles or aunts about any assaignments they may or may not be investigating
9)i am not allowed to trick my siblings or parents by putting spiders (or any other living or dead creature) in their beds
10)i am not allowed to shout at my dad in a language he doesnt understand
11) i am not allowed to lock my bed room door (for safetly reasons,not to invade my privacy) - (dad told,no he made me to write that!)
12)i am not allowed to headslap any one (unless grandpa gibbs tells me to)
13)i am not allowed to kick,hit,punch,knee or hurt anyone unless they are attacking me.
14)i am not allowed to mention my parents fathers
15)my curfew is at 10:00 on weeknights and 10:30 on weekends
16)i am not allowed to gossip with aunt abby(believe me i did and it came back to haunt me!)
17)i am not allowed to tease aunt abby or ucle tim about their relationship
18)i am not allowed to ask mum
About somalia or any of her mossad missions in general
19)i am not allowed to spread rumours or gossip or chainmail
20)mum and dad must have access to all my social networking sites,emails and text messages
21)i must always carry a knife
22) i must not tell people that mum taught me how to kill someone with a paperclip or creditcard
23) i am not allowed to take dads credit cards without his permission
24) i am not allowed to touch mums weapons
25) i am not allowed to touch dads movie collection
26)i am not allowed to superglue uncle tim to any of the office equiptment in the bullpen (or anything else for that matter)
27) i am not allowed to go out past 8:00 pm without permission
28) i am not allowed to mess with any of aunt abbys "babies" (equiptment)
29)i am not to call mum and dad on their office phone unless there is an emergency and ring them on their cell phones if i need to talk to either
30)i am not allowed to invite people over without mum knowing so she can do backround checks and hide her weapons. (she can be a bit nervous)
31) i am not to mention (or ask about) my mums brother ari or any of her sisters
32) i am not allowed to mess with/in grandpa gibbs office(elevator)
33) i am not to threaten dad or anyone else in a foreign language
34) i am not allowed to take anything from mums weapon store
35)i must not take "i know every quote from monte carlow" as a challenge