Gibbs slowly walked through the Georgedown townhouse's front door. He got into his car and drove home. He couldn't stay the night, again. He does love the girl, at least he thought he does. Of course he knew for sure that at some point he loved her. But it was years ago. Yeah, he can't change that now. At this moment he knows that he still has strong feelings towards her, but was it love ? Yeah, that he is still trying to find out.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs had left the woman asleep and sneaked away. She will not be happy in the morning for sure, but he has to figure some things out. That woman is the reason he made a rule, she is the reason why some rules have another meaning. She is the main reason he has always been against romance between agents. There are other reasons too of course, but without her Gibbs might be okay with the idea of possible relationship between Tony and Kate or McGee and Ziva or whoever. Still he couldn't adjust the idea that he is breaking the rule himself. Romance between agents doesn't work. He knows it, she knows it – there is a rule stopping them, but somehow he had found himself breaking the rule and not caring.
Gibbs reached home and went to his basement. He took his sander, poured himself some bourbon and started working on his boat. Everything always makes more sense after he had worked with his boat. Maybe it's because it's named after the most important woman in his life. Kelley. His little girl in past tense. He doesn't have her anymore and he doesn't have the chance to watch her grow up, but she lives on forever in his heart and memories. She'll always be with him. Maybe Kelley would have been a rebellious teen, maybe she would have been a nice girl. She could have had a boyfriend, and Gibbs would make sure that he treats his girl well or the guy is dead, literally. But because Kelley and Shannon are not here, he had to find himself new life. He tried. First came Ginger, but that didn't work. Then he tried Diane, but that crashed down. And then it was Jenny's turn – it was good until she left. Well, that's when Stephanie came, but he is still not sure if she was replacement for Jenny or Shannon. Anyway all roads are not taking him to Rome, but everything is bringing him to his girl. Yes, he is currently seeing a woman he promised he'd never see again, he tried to hate her, he wanted to kill her, but instead he ended up in the same bed as her. And it didn't happen just once. It happened multiple times, it's still happening. And the worst part is that he can't stop. He can't just leave her, because maybe he is into that woman more than he should be. It's like he is destroying his promise to his first wife. It feels like cheating. Every moment he feels like he is breaking his promise to Shannon and just letting her go. He feels like leaving her. Yes, he had had sex with other woman, but he had kept the biggest part of his heart with her. But now, after his return from Mexico, he feels like his heart belongs to that devilish woman. And it has to stop. He can't be breaking the rule.
Morning arrived to soon. Gibbs felt like he had been asleep for 10 minutes and not several hours. He thought about not showing up to work, but he had to go there and then face the woman he left asleep last night. He has to face the hell that's going to be unleashed.
Gibbs went to his bedroom and to his great surprise he found it smelled like his devilish woman there. It must be her scent from the last time she was there. He saw her lacy panties on the floor, her pink bra hanging on the chair, her change of clothes in his closet, her toothbrush by the sink... It's like she is living here. But she's not. It's just sex they're having and nothing else. Yep, that's it. Just sexual relationship to satisfy his needs and make him feel loved. He has to talk to her about this thing. He can't have a relationship with that woman, he needs to get out.
The morning was quiet. Gibbs, Tony, Ziva and McGee used the time to catch up on some paperwork. They had no case and director was not putting anything on them.
"I'm gonna take my report up to the director," Gibbs announced.
Tony, McGee and Ziva sent him with eyes and then turned back to their work. Quietly. Gibbs walked up the stairs to the office, where he always wanted to go. And he managed to find a lot of reasons to go up there.
Gibbs walked past Cynthia as usual, violently pushed the door open and then closed. He walked to stand across the director and put the file on the table. She looked up and their eyes met. Then she turned her attention back to the papers in front of her.
"You were gone this morning," was what Jenny said simply without even raising her look from the papers.
"Yeah. I was," Gibbs said and sighed. This needed to be done.
"You wanna give me a reason or something ?" She said. Her voice was quiet and calm, just like she was talking to a random person. It's like she was not angry or pissed or disappointed or anything. Like there was zero emotion in her words.
"This has to end. I can't go down this road again," Gibbs got the heavy words out of his throat. It was not easy, but had to be done. He was expecting rage, questions, maybe an angry look, pissed face... he expected to be shouted at or at least questioned, but that's why her reaction surprised him the most.
"Okay," she said. She even didn't raise her look. Her voice was as calm as it always had been.
She wrote something down on the paper she had been reading lately. She put it aside and finally took off her glasses and looked up, where Gibbs has been standing.
He was quiet and just looked at the woman. She wore an open shirt and his position above her gave him a good look. He has tell her that, she can't walk around like that all the time, all men can then look under her shirt and that's not something he wants. He wants to be the only man, who can enjoy the view. Stop ! He just broke off things with her. He can't take a look at her body, he can't look it and have dirty thoughts. He can't do that anymore.
Their eyes met for a second. She raised her eyebrow like she wanted to ask something, but her mouth was closed. He looked at her and it gave no emotion. He wanted her to show that she cares, he wanted to see anything in her deep emerald green eyes, in her pale face edging with her now short red hair, or hear from those red and sweet and tasty lips... Again he is thinking of her not like he should be thinking about his boss.
He gave her few seconds to say something, but after realizing that nothing's going to happen, he turned around and walked out of her office. The door got his anger for everything and it slapped closed hard as he stormed out of her office.