She Will Be Loved
"I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain.
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved"
Description: Bella always loved Edward since she was a little girl; the only problem was that he was her half sister's boyfriend. Events in her teen years send Bella down a spiral of depression and self destruction, until she hits her lowest point and attempts suicide. Her turbulent lifestyle and the wedge between her and her family, causes her to leave and lose contact with them for over ten years until a chance meeting brings her back.
At that point, Edward's life was picture perfect…on the outside, but how happy is he really with his wife and son? Something is off in his life, will fate step in and make things right? Will Edward and Bella find the lives they were meant to be living?
*AH, E/B, OCC, E&B POV's, Rated M for language and mature themes like sex and drug use.
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A/N: This is not a song-fic; I just love that verse of the song "She Will Be Loved" from Maroon 5 and was the inspiration for this story. If you've read my other AH stories, then you know I love twists, but I'm not promising any for this story. This is just good old fashion angst and romance…with maybe a few surprises. This does have some high school in it (mainly flash backs), but mostly focuses on their adult years. I'm not planning on this being a long story, but we'll see how it goes.
Thanks for giving this story a chance, I hope you like it.
~Chapter 1 – Unexpected~
When I was younger, I had my whole life planned out; I was going to go to an ivy league school and become a lawyer. I would then move to New York, open my own practice, and live in a penthouse in Manhattan where I'd spend every night with a different beautiful woman. I would work hard and play harder, nothing to tie me down and no responsibilities outside of work…but life didn't ask me what I wanted.
My parents were killed in a car crash three weeks before I graduated high school, and for various reasons, the state took my entire inheritance. I thought about getting a job and applying for a student loan for college, but when I really thought about it, nothing seemed to make sense anymore.
Perhaps it was my need to lash out and fight something, anything, that drove me to the military. But it was my going away party right before I left for basic training, that actually changed my life forever; being drunker than I had ever been before in my life, I unknowingly conceived my son. I had never had unprotected sex before, but with a mix of grief from the loss of my parents, and fear of my impending involvement with the war raging in Iraq, I overlooked responsibility just for one night. I was scared shitless and needed to numb myself into a stupor, one that I hardly remembered the next afternoon when I finally woke up.
After boot camp, I was deployed overseas where I served twenty four months before I visited home. I probably could have gone home sooner, but with my parents dead and no siblings, there really wasn't any reason to, so I volunteered to stay. I didn't even plan on returning to Forks at all, but with nowhere else to go, I figured I could at least crash with my best friend Emmett until I had to return to duty.
"Uh…so, how are things?" Emmett asked me during my first evening staying at his apartment.
"Eh…you know," I said distractedly as I played his new Xbox game.
"Yeah, well…things here have been…cool…you know…but maybe you should call Tanya," Emmett said strangely.
"Why?" I asked disturbed by the thought. Tanya was my high school girlfriend, we had been together on and off since the seventh grade, but when I left, we decided to separate permanently. She was going off to college, and I wasn't sure when or if I'd return, so neither of us wanted to wait for each other. We had a fucked up relationship anyway, always fighting and breaking up every other week. She was extremely jealous and controlling, and I guess I wasn't much better. I had no idea why we continued on for so long, but something always seemed to bring us back together.
"Just call her bro, or better yet, go and see her," Emmett insisted.
"Em, I have no desire to rekindle that," I said knowing Tanya brought nothing but stress into my life.
"Dude, just trust me!" Emmett said heatedly.
"No way in hell," I said confused by his persistence. Emmett never liked Tanya, so I wondered why the hell he gave a shit.
"Man, I didn't want to be the one to tell you this, but…she had your kid. You have a son," Emmett said slowly…and that's when my life took a left turn. I had thought going into war was the most scared I had ever been, but I was wrong. As I walked up the steps to the Swan house, I knew nothing in my life would ever be the same again.
Tanya was just as much of a bitch as she ever was, but holding my son for the first time was a surreal moment that turned me into a different person. Despite my superficial feelings for Tanya, my son became the most important thing in my life, so for him, we married a few weeks later and just like that, I had a new family and a new reason for living.
Tanya and I may have been on the outs the last time we saw each other, but she did honor me by naming our son Edward Anthony Masen the Third, which meant a lot considering it hadn't been that long since my father passed. We called him Anthony, and I savored every second I had to spend with him. All too soon, it was time for me to return to duty, but I had renewed focus and determination; it wasn't the life I thought I would have, but it would still be a great one.
I spent the next two years coming in and out of my son's life due to my job in the military, and I knew when my four years of active duty was over, I'd never reenlist. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, but I knew nothing else mattered as long as I took care of my family.
Things had always been fine between Tanya and me when I was home on leave, but being home permanently was definitely different.
"So, how's the birthday party coming along?" Emmett asked me as we were on lunch break. Since finishing my active duty, Emmett and I had opened our own car restoration and mechanic shop in downtown Forks. We did pretty good business, but we were in no way rich and still struggled occasionally during the slower months. I always liked working on cars, it was a pastime I shared with my father, but I never expected to do that as a living and at times I felt completely stagnant in my life. But, I was providing for my family, and that was what was truly important.
"Oh…you know we save all year for it," I shrugged. "I'll just be glad when it's over."
"Yeah…why does Tanya insist on it so much anyway? I mean, I get that she wants to be celebrated and all, but throwing a party for half the town has to put a real dent in the wallet."
"It definitely does that. Hey, by the way, I have to get off early to pick up Anthony from school, can you cover for me?" I asked.
"Yeah sure, but I thought Tanya had Fridays off?" Emmett asked confused.
"She does, but she's getting her nails done…or something."
"So…you have to get off work so she can get her nails done?" he asked incredulously.
"The lady that does them for her gives discounts on weekdays, and we can't afford to be spending any more money than necessary right now," I explained.
"Ok, here's a thought…don't throw the huge party," Emmett said smugly.
"Come on Em, you know how Tanya is. She needs people to think we have more money than we do."
"That's shallow," Emmett said bitterly.
"Hey, she's still my wife, don't talk shit about her," I warned him…even though he was absolutely right. Tanya and I had become the somewhat 'golden couple' in Forks. Our jobs weren't exactly glamorous, but we had a nice home and drove good cars. We hid the fact that we were up to our eyeballs in debt, and that her parents co-signed for our house. Everyone thought we had the perfect relationship, everyone but Emmett, he knew better.
Our relationship could have been worse, we made a point to never fight in front of Anthony, and after a while we didn't fight at all... we didn't speak enough to fight. We had very separate lives, except when we were in public. Tanya was big into public perception, and so I went along with it for the sake of my sanity, but Anthony had it the worst. He always had to be perfect, he was never out of line, shirt always pressed and tucked in, and there was never even a single hair out of place on his head. He was quiet and didn't have very many friends, but I always wondered if it was because he was so worried of doing anything that would upset his mother. He was always that kid telling the others that he couldn't climb fences and steal fruit off the neighbor's tree. How was he supposed to make friends if he never allowed himself to get into any trouble? Ten year old boys were all about trouble, and I really wished Tanya would ease up on him a bit and allow him to breathe a little.
"So, is she going to allow Anthony to play hockey this year? He told me he really wanted to but he didn't want to ask her." Emmett said, taking me by surprise.
"Really, he said that to you?"
"Yeah, when he stayed at my place while you guys went to Tanya's friend's house for dinner a few weeks ago."
"I had no idea he wanted to play hockey," I mused. "Is he even old enough yet?"
"Yeah, he's ten. We played when we were eight, remember?" Emmett said.
"True, I guess I just forgot. I'll talk to Tanya about it tonight after she gets done with her nails," I told him and then we got back to work.
Later that evening, after Anthony went to bed, I tried talking to Tanya but I knew it would be difficult. There was a reason why we hardly spoke, and it became even more apparent when I brought up the subject.
"So…I think we should sign Anthony up for hockey this year," I said hesitantly.
"Absolutely not. That is a horrible sport and imagine what would happen if he got hurt," Tanya said without looking up from her magazine.
"I used to play hockey and I never got hurt," I contradicted her.
"Well, you were a lot tougher than him. Besides, we don't have money to put him in that right now," she said carelessly.
"Well, maybe we would if we cancelled your party!" I said getting angry.
"Edward, I have given you my entire youth, so don't you dare deny me one of the few things that makes me happy. What the hell would I tell everyone if we cancelled? We can't back out now, and I won't!" she said heatedly.
"You know what; I'm tired of that shit from you!" I yelled then. "Ever since we got married, you have been blaming me for your missed youth, and I'm not going to stand for it anymore. We both were messed up the night we conceived Anthony, and if we weren't then we wouldn't be here today. But I'm eternally grateful we were drunk then. Anthony is the best thing in my life, and I wouldn't trade him for anything. As his mother, I would think you would feel the same way."
"If he was never conceived, then we wouldn't know the difference, would we?" she said heartlessly.
I scrunched my face in disbelief of her callousness. "You're a spiteful bitch, you know that?"
"Whatever," she said casually, so I decided to leave before I said anything more I regretted, but before I could, she had something to tell me. "By the way, I'm taking Anthony to the retreat next week."
"Retreat? What damn retreat?" I asked confused.
"The mother-child retreat in California. All my friends are going with their kids; we'll be gone for two weeks."
"Two weeks? That's his entire vacation," I said frustrated.
"Yep, you said you wanted him to make friends."
"Tanya, your friends' kids are all toddlers, who is he going to hang out with there?" I fumed.
She shrugged. "And if you are planning on bringing one of your little sluts in here while I'm gone, think again, I had cameras installed and I'll be checking the recordings daily when I'm gone."
"You had cameras installed? How much did that cost?" I asked bitterly. Despite our sexless marriage, I wasn't a cheater but after being accused of it for years, I just stopped denying it and figured she would believe what she wanted to anyway.
"The price doesn't matter, what really matters is that you don't make a fool of me with other women while I'm gone."
"Fine, I'll just go to Seattle to get my needs taken care of," I said rudely. I never usually played into her paranoia, but she was really pissing me off and I couldn't help it.
"I really don't care what you do, as long as no one sees you do it," she said, taking me aback. Even though we never were together anymore, she had always been extremely jealous so I was surprised that she was actually giving me permission to cheat. "Don't look so shocked, a lot of people have open marriages."
"Is that what you want, really?" I challenged her.
"We both have needs and neither of us want to be together in that way anymore…so why not?"
I shook my head. "Fine," I said then walked out of the room. Every conversation I had with her, just seemed to make me dislike her more and more, but she was my son's mother and if for no other reason, we needed to stay together.
I knew I was unhappy, but knowing Tanya was so unhappy with our marriage that she didn't care if I had an affair or not, just proved that something needed to change and it had to be drastic.
Jasper, who was a friend of mine from the military, owned a successful advertising agency in Seattle and offered me a job there, but I turned him down because I had my car shop and I didn't think Tanya would want to move. However, I figured that a move to a big city might give Tanya enough excitement that she may enjoy life a little more and stop being such a negative person. We always had our issues, but before we got married, she was different; there was a spark there whereas recently, she was like the living dead, only pretending to have a life for the sake of people's judgments.
So, when Tanya took Anthony to California, I went to Seattle to see about the job offer there.
"And this, would be your office," Jasper said as he opened the door to a private room.
"Are you kidding me? You know, I'm really not qualified for this," I told him with a smile.
"You always came up with the best ideas when we were in Iraq, I'm sure you can handle yourself…oh and by the way, we not only pay for college for you if you want to get some classes in on your free time, but we'll also cover Anthony's entirely when the time comes. His tuition, books, board, everything."
"You have got to be kidding me," I said in disbelief. It wasn't a lawyer like I had wanted to be when I was younger, but it was life in the city with a high paying job, and I couldn't remember a time when I was so excited about something other than my son.
"It's all yours, all you have to do is say 'yes' and we can get the paperwork started," Jasper said to me.
"Let me talk to Tanya first, she won't be back for a couple weeks, will that be cool?" I asked him.
"Of course man, the job will be here waiting for you."
"Thanks Jazz, you have no idea what this means to me," I told him sincerely.
I decided to spend some extra time in the city to try and get to know the area a bit better. I looked at condos and toured schools for Anthony, and even looked into some boutiques for Tanya if she chose to work, even though she wouldn't have to with what I would be making. With my salary plus bonuses in addition to my ownership in the car shop, we'd be living far more than just comfortable. I had already talked to Emmett about me leaving but keeping my ownership, and he was all for it, so I knew that wouldn't be a problem. It all seemed to be falling into place perfectly, and I couldn't see how Tanya could possibly object to such an offer.
After a long morning of condo hunting, I decided to just take a stroll around the area of my hotel. It was a surprisingly sunny day, so I just couldn't handle the idea of staying inside for the rest of the day. Along the way, I saw a hotdog vender and decided to get one, even though I was pretty sure the snack would end up getting me sick later, but there was nothing better than a city hotdog.
When I got my dog, I piled on all the fixings, and then sat on a bench to eat. I was just about finished when I looked up, and noticed someone sitting across the street at a bus station, and I couldn't believe my eyes.
"Holy shit," I said to myself then threw what was left of the hotdog in the garbage before almost getting hit by a taxi as I ran across the bus street. "Bella?"
She looked awful. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought she was just some random homeless streetwalker, but I'd know Bella absolutely anywhere.
She looked up at me, and the expression on her face was unrecognizable. "Edward?" she asked confused.
"Yeah. Wow, I can't believe it's really you. You look….grown up," I said not thinking of a better compliment.
"That tends to happen," she said annoyed, and then looked down the street for her bus.
"How long have you been living here? You know, your parents have been worried sick about you."
"I'm sure," she said bitterly, and continued to look down the street.
"Hey-ya, I'm staying at the Hilton right around the corner, why don't you come over and we can catch up," I suggested.
She looked back at me as if she really wasn't sure who I was, even though she already said my name; it was clear that she was under the influence of some kind of drug. She had dark circles under her eyes and her makeup was a mess, as if it were a few days old. Her clothes were dirty and hanging off of her too small frame, and out from under her sleeves, I could see bruises all over her arms.
"I don't have time, I'm late for a meeting," she said absently.
"Ok, well my car is parked over there. Why don't you come with me and I can give you a lift," I suggested.
"No, I don't think so," she said without looking at me.
"Bella, Please. No one has seen or heard from you in years, I don't want to just let you disappear again," I practically begged. She looked at me strangely again, and just when I was sure that she was going to refuse, she sighed and reluctantly agreed.
**Bella is not a hooker (I'm not into that sort of thing), but she definitely has some major issues. Bella and Edward's conversation is coming in the next chapter.
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