A/N: Happy Birthday (early) ReneeFF! This is all for you, my dear. I sort of ran with the prompt you gave me, so I hope it's what you expected. Or, at least, that you like the result :)
Remember the rating, folks. It is M for a reason, and that reason is citrus. And language. Also remember that none of these characters belong to me; they all belong to Stephenie Meyer. Enjoy!
You All Along
Bella, Bella, Bella . . . For the past five months, it was all I had heard from my best friend, Jacob Black. Frankly, I was sick of it. I didn't want to hear one more word about Bella's beautiful chocolate eyes or her long chestnut hair. What kind of guy used those words to describe something, anyway? Jacob was a man; he wasn't supposed to know the difference between chocolate, chestnut, mahogany, or tawny. It was all brown.
Still, I put on a smile—growing more and more forced every time I talked to him—and listened the way any good friend would.
"How's your day going?" I asked when Jake came over one afternoon.
He shrugged. "Not terrible. Haven't heard from Bella yet, though." He sounded honestly worried about it.
His concern hit me in the gut. It wasn't just because we'd been friends since we were embryos in our mother's womb's or that he was gorgeous with his toned six and a half foot frame, long black hair, tanned skin, thick eyebrows, and full lips that I had dreamt of kissing for years. It probably also had nothing to do with the way I fit him so much better than she did. He and I were both Quileute Native Americans, we were both twenty-six years old, and we both liked a lot of the same stuff. No, it was because I was head over heels in love with him. Him and his stupid grin that could cure cancer and infertility at the same time.
I put on the regulatory sad face. "Why not?"
"I don't know. I tried to call her this morning, but she didn't answer. Hasn't called me back yet." He took out his cell phone and looked down at it, sighing dejectedly.
I wanted to take that phone and chuck it across the room. It had once been what he used to text me silly jokes or random comments about his day, but since Bella came into the picture, the only things I got from him were questions about what to do with the little white slut. The questions about dinner plans, outfits, and shaving I didn't mind so much. It was the intimate questions that got to me. Things like, "Do girls prefer fingering or being eaten out?" and, "What's this G-spot thing I'm supposed to be hitting?" made me angry and jealous. If he had to fuck her, he could at least keep it to himself so I didn't have to watch my heart break for something I wouldn't ever have.
"Maybe she's just busy," I suggested. "I really wouldn't start to worry until tomorrow morning, okay?"
Jacob sighed and shook his head. "Every single day for the last five months, we've called to say good morning. She's never been too busy before."
Oh, grow up. I wanted to roll my eyes at him. Just because the precious little witch didn't answer. I knew deep down inside that it was all just jealousy. I wanted a guy to care about me that much. Correction: I wanted Jake to care about me that much. I'd dated a few times since he hooked up with Bella, but nobody could ever measure up.
"Have you tried to call her again?" As much as I hated Bella, if the little slut hurt him, I wouldn't hesitate to hunt her down.
"Yeah, once or twice. I don't want to be overbearing and annoy her; I just want to know what's going on."
"That's understandable, Jake." I reached over the counter and patted his hand holding his drink. "I'm sure everything's fine." I smiled encouragingly, even though I really wanted to slap some sense into him. I wanted to ask him what was so wrong with me that he couldn't see I was better for him than some stupid bitch who didn't call back.
"Thanks, Leah." He smiled, and my heart melted.
"Anytime, Jake." He knew I meant it, too. I'd be there for him through thick and thin, just like I knew he'd be there for me.
A moment later, his phone began to ring. I had teased him time and again about choosing the standard ringtone instead of getting a better one, but he said the only reason to do that was to show off. He wasn't trying to impress anyone, so why bother? There was no convincing him otherwise.
"It's Bella. I'll be right back." He got up without giving me a chance to say anything and walked out. I just watched his back and his hair that he'd pulled into a pony tail walk out the back door.
I folded my arms on the counter and set my forehead on them with a thud. I thought of every single reason I should just let Jake go. First and foremost, he was in love with someone else. I stayed that way until he came back inside and shut the door quietly behind him. When I looked up, what I saw broke my heart. Jacob stood there with his hands in his pockets, looking down. His eyebrows were furrowed, and it was easy to tell he was upset about something. This wasn't an angry upset, though. Angry Jacob would be yelling. This was a sad upset.
"Is everything okay?" I asked before I could tell myself to shut up.
He sighed and shook his head. "I don't know. She didn't really say much. Just that she wanted to me to meet her at the café down by her house tonight. She wants to talk."
If that bitch broke up with him in a damn café, it would be last thing she ever did. "Maybe she wants—"
"Don't, Leah. I appreciate you trying to tell me everything's okay, but just don't. Not right now." He could feel something was up. I just hoped it didn't break him too much if that really was what Bella wanted to talk to him about.
"I don't get it. I really don't get it." Jacob paced my living room, ranting about Bella. "After five goddamn months together, she decides I'm not her type. I haven't changed. I haven't done a fucking thing different, Leah. Why am I suddenly not her type?" I didn't have an answer. I knew he didn't expect one anyway, so I just stayed silent. "I gave her everything she asked for. Hell, I even went to some stupid dinner for her dad's promotion. Boring as fuck and people stared at me like I was Bigfoot. But did she ever come to a bonfire with me? No, she was afraid she wouldn't fit in." He shook his head and paced some more.
He was quiet for a few minutes then, just walking back and forth like he was trying to wear a hole in the carpet. It had been three days since Bella broke up with him, and he was still angry about it. I knew him, and I knew that this only meant he would crash into self-destructive mode hard. The longer the angry period lasted, the harder he fell when it finally fizzled out. I would be there for him, though. I would hold his hand and walk him through it because that's what friends do. He'd done it for me plenty of times. It was only one small reason why I loved him so much.
Fifteen minutes later, Jacob finally stopped pacing. He strode into the kitchen muttering something about a beer. I followed him. He stood staring into the fridge like he wasn't sure what he was after. I sighed. Self-hatred, here we come.
"What about whiskey? Do you have any whiskey?"
"You know I don't, Jake. I don't drink the stuff. And even if I did, I wouldn't give it to you." I leaned against the counter.
He turned to look at me incredulously. "What? Why not?"
I smiled. "Because I won't let you drink yourself into oblivion while the wound is still sore."
Jacob frowned and pulled out a beer. "I guess this will do just fine."
"I'm sure it will, but your limit is three."
"That's bullshit, Leah." He grabbed two more from the fridge before walking out the living room. I followed behind him again.
"Jacob, how long have I known you?" I asked. He sat on the couch and shrugged as he opened the first bottle.
"All our lives."
"I've learned a thing or two about you in that time, and I'm not going to let you get drunk enough to hurt yourself."
He snorted in disgust and anger. "I wouldn't hurt myself."
"Just like you wouldn't get a tattoo that you regret every day?" Personally, I thought the "Evelyn is Satan" tattoo on his back was hilarious, but I knew he hated it.
"Whatever." He took a swig and shook his head. He didn't look at me as I sat down next to him and waited for him to accept what was and talk to me again.
Two weeks passed, and Jacob was still sore about his breakup with Bella. I was supportive and caring for the first little while, but this was starting to get ridiculous. Five days ago, when I mentioned the possibility of him dating again to get over her, he nearly snapped my head off. I tried not to let it get to me, but it was so difficult when I knew what could help him. I could help him.
I was at his house helping him to gather up the remaining things that belonged to Bella. There wasn't a whole lot, but he didn't want to do it alone. I was happy to help if it meant he got over her soon.
"So are you going to bonfire this weekend?" I asked him as I put a picture frame in the box. Jacob came over with a small stuffed bear. The image of him standing there with his hair down around his shoulders and his huge hands holding the tiny toy was so sweet. I wanted to take a picture. He put it in the box, though, and shook his head.
"No, probably not."
"Why not? It will be fun. Seth's going to be there." My brother was in college but coming home for a small vacation. He and Jake had always been good friends as well.
"Tell him I said hi." He didn't even look at me as he went to find more stuff.
I sighed. "Jacob, please come? I know you loved her, and I know you're upset about the breakup, but come. I'm only asking you to be happy and have fun for one night. Besides, there will be lots of alcohol there."
"I'll think about it."
I smiled but didn't say anything else. I knew when he gave in that much, it was only a matter of time before he agreed.
The stars shone brightly against the black, moonless sky. The fire was warm, and the alcohol flowed freely as people danced, walked, ran, and otherwise had fun on the beach. I was on my third beer when Jacob finally showed up at midnight. I laughed and stumbled up to him, already past tipsy.
"You made it!" I cried and threw my arms around him. He caught me and smirked. My legs nearly went out; he was too yummy.
"Yeah, I made it. How are you? Besides drunk?"
I shook my head. "I'm not a trunk."
He chuckled. "I know that, Leah. I said drunk. Come on." He helped me back over to the bonfire and sat me down on a log before he went to say hello to the other people. I could have done it on my own, but his arms were heaven around me. I watched him, scrutinizing his every movement.
Jacob had never been very good at coordinating outfits. I had helped him out on numerous occasions, but it seemed the breakup with Bella had done him some good. He was wearing a white band t-shirt and khaki cargo shorts. His hair was pulled back in a pony tail at the base of his neck, and it fell in a straight line to the middle of his back. Motherfucker, he was hot. He would have been hotter without anything on, though. And with his hair free. Most definitely. He needed to get naked. So did I. We would be good naked together. The short, white sundress I'd worn would be so easy to take off.
He came to sit next to me with a beer in one hand and a near full bottle of whiskey in the other. He raised the bottle as if to toast. "Here's hoping I get shit-faced tonight." He took a drink and made a face. "Yeah, that burns."
I smiled. "You're really hot when you do that."
He looked at me strangely. "Do what?"
I shrugged. "Anything. You're just hot." Oh, dear God, did I really just say that? I closed my mouth and look down at the sand under my feet.
He laughed. "Thanks, I guess."
I scowled at my toes. That wasn't the response I'd been hoping for. Then again, why should he say I'm beautiful? He'd seen me almost every single day since we were born; if he didn't think it now, he never would. I tried to push it away and have fun, but it ate at me. An hour and a half later, Jake'd had four beers and half his bottle of whiskey. I had to admit I helped him a little and had two more beers.
Jake had always been a loud drunk. Loud but fun. He pulled me up with him and made me dance to a few songs played on the huge sound system that had been set up. We both collapsed on our log, and I laughed hard when he fell over backward. I helped him back up, and he acted like he was going to push me, but he didn't.
"Let's go for a walk," he said suddenly. I didn't even consider the reason he was asking; I just got up and went with him. He held my hand when I stumbled a few times over sticks and other random shit in the woods. The music was distant and I couldn't even see the fire anymore when he finally stopped next to a large boulder that came up to my shoulders. "Tonight's a pretty night," he said with a lopsided smile. I sighed and stared at him as I nodded.
"Not as pretty as you," I heard myself say.
He chuckled. "Knock it off, Leah. I'm not pretty. I'm disgustingly handsome."
I snorted. "Oh, yeah. You're right. I'm the pretty one." I batted my eyelashes.
He shook his head, and my smile fell. "Nah, you're not pretty either. You're disgustingly beautiful."
That was unexpected. "What?"
"You don't need me to tell you that. You should know that you're the most gorgeous woman in La Push. And the surrounding area. Fuck, Leah, just admit it. You're really fucking hot."
I loved his dirty mouth. "You think I'm fucking hot?" I stepped closer to him and put my hands on his chest. I looked up at him, and his eyes stared right through me as he nodded.
"Everyone thinks you're fucking hot. You just don't pay attention. I wonder why." He touched my cheek, lightly tracing his fingertip from the corner of my eye to my jaw. "You could have anyone, Leah. Why don't you put some of these guys out of their misery?"
"I can't have the one I really want." Was I really having this conversation with him right now? Would either of us remember it in the morning?
"Who's that? I'll kick his ass." He smiled, and his fingers tickled me down to my neck. I shivered.
"You, silly. I want you. I've always wanted you." I couldn't believe I'd actually said it.
His eyes darkened. "Me?" I nodded and took a step away. His arm went around my waist to pull me back. "Why the fuck didn't you ever tell me?"
My hands gripped his shirt. "Because you didn't want me."
Jake leaned down and kissed me. Full on the mouth with warm, wet lips. My eyes widened, and he gripped the back of my neck to hold me against him as he opened his mouth. He tasted like whiskey, but I didn't care. He pushed me against the boulder almost too roughly. Jake was the only man I would ever surrender to like this, especially drunk. His hands and lips clouded my head, and I wondered briefly if I hadn't passed out at the bonfire and this was all just some really awesome dream.
He pulled back and grabbed my tits. I moaned and thrust my chest out. "I want you, Leah. I've wanted you since I was old enough to know what sex was."
I put my hands over his, encouraging him to play with me. "You never said anything."
He squeezed one tit while his other hand went down to my thigh and hiked up my dress. I sucked in a breath when he gripped my thigh roughly. "You always seemed to be into short relationships, Leah. I don't want short with you. And I didn't want to fuck up our friendship by asking you to go out with me." His hand moved up to my ass, and I moaned as I pressed my back against the boulder and lifted my knee up to his hip. He pushed against me, shifting his hips right between my legs.
"I only wanted you, Jake. No other man was you, so of course nothing ever lasted long. God, I want you." I pushed my hips closer to him.
He growled and lifted my dress up over my hips. "Me, too. Can I fuck you, Leah?"
"Yes. Right now, Jake." I pulled the elastic out of his hair and ran my fingers through it. He grabbed my hair at the back of my head and kissed me roughly for a moment before he all but ripped my panties off. I gasped and reached out to unzip his pants. I'd always known Jake had to be well-endowed, and I was very happy to finally have confirmation of that. He smirked at me and pushed me back against the boulder again.
"I love you, Leah," he said. He reached down and grabbed my leg, hooking my knee over his forearm and lifting it high enough to give him access to my pussy. I held on to his shoulders tightly to keep my balance and cried out when he pushed his dick into me. He grunted and didn't hesitate to start moving.
"Oh, my God, Jake!" He lifted my leg higher and pushed harder.
"You like that, Leah?" He held my shoulder with his free hand. "Those tips you gave me came in handy with Bella; I wonder how many times I can make you cum." He moved his hips at a different angle, and suddenly it felt so much better than before. I cried out and threw my head back. He pulled me forward quickly. "Don't do that again. You almost hit your head on the rock." He moved me back again, and I rested carefully against the stone. He started moving again, hitting the same spot he had only moments earlier.
"Please don't stop," I begged. No man had ever been able to get the right spot before. I had reluctantly given the secret to Jake so he could have fun with his little slut, but now I was so glad I had. Not only did he hit it, he knew how to work it. My whole body was shaking within minutes, and my hips jerked against his as I came harder than I ever had before.
"Jesus Christ," he moaned. "I've got to make that happen again." He pushed harder, and my eyes rolled to the back of my head.
"It feels so . . . Oh! Fuck me faster, Jake."
He did, and he growled as he repositioned himself again. His hand on my shoulder moved down to rub my clit as he fucked me, still hitting the spot inside me that drove me wild. I came two more times before he finally tensed up and pinned me against the boulder. He bit my shoulder as he growled and came inside me. He pulled out, and we both straightened our clothes as we rested against the stone for a minute to catch our breath.
"Do you want to go back to the bonfire?" Jake asked.
"I'm so tired, Jake. I honestly think I could go to sleep out here." I started to lie down, but he caught my arm.
"No, don't do that. Come on, I'll take you home."
I went with him, my vision already blurring by the time we reached the edge of the woods.
The pounding in my head was worse than I'd ever experienced with any hangover. It stopped a moment later, and I realized that I was in bed with someone. I closed my eyes tightly before I opened them. Jake was unconscious next to me, snoring like a jackhammer. I smiled despite the pain in my head; I had thought everything was a dream. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but he did still have his shorts on. I still had my dress on from the night before, but I didn't have any panties on, and I could still feel the memory of sex between my legs. Jake and I had fucked! In the woods . . . During a bonfire where our parents and even grandparents were eating and drinking not twenty yards away . . .
It was still the most amazing experience of my life, even if it was a little hazy thanks to the alcohol. I remembered very clearly the way he'd said he loved me. And that he thought I was beautiful. I sighed contentedly and put my head on his shoulder.
There was a knock at the door; loud, obtrusive pounding that had originally woke me up. I sat up to get it when I realized I wasn't in my house. I was at Jake's. I smiled and patted his arm.
"Jake, wake up. Someone's at the door."
He turned on his side as he grunted and groaned. "I don't give a shit; let me sleep."
I smiled. "Do you want me to get it?"
I kissed his cheek and climbed over him. "Okay. I'll let you know if it's important." I ran my fingers through my hair and stumbled down the hall to the door. I frowned at the little brown-haired bitch standing in front of me. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she had a tissue in her hand. "Hello, Bella."
She sniffled and furrowed her brow. "Hi, Leah. Is Jacob here? I really need to talk to him."
I crossed my arms over my chest. "He's asleep. He had a . . . busy night. I can give him a message for you." I wouldn't really. Whatever it was she wanted to poison him with, I'd take the words and shove them right back down her throat.
Bella bit her lip and sighed. "I'll wait for him to get up. Can I come in?"
I snorted. "No."
She narrowed her eyes. "If I know Jake at all, which I do, he would want me to come in. He loves me, Leah. I know he does."
I pointed my finger at her chest. "You've known him for less than six months. I've known him for twenty-six years; I think I'm in a better position to say that you broke his heart, and now he's over you. You lost your chance, Bella." I really hoped he was over her. Until the bonfire, he probably would have let her in and listened to her and maybe even take her back. I really hoped what happened was enough to show him that he didn't need to hurt over her anymore.
"What's going on?" Jake asked from the hallway. I backed up and turned around to talk to him, but the bitch pushed her way past me and ran up to him.
"Oh, Jake. I'm so sorry." She threw her arms around his waist, and he went rigid as one hand automatically went to her back.
"What are you doing here, Bella?" He looked at me, and my heart broke. I knew that look. He was confused, but he wanted to take her in and love her again. I pleaded with him silently to understand she would only hurt him again. She didn't really want him back; she'd failed at whatever she thought was more important than him and wanted a backup plan. He wasn't a second choice. He deserved to be the only choice.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking, Jake, and I was so wrong. You are everything I want and need. Please let me have you back." She kissed his chest, and jealousy flared in me like I'd never known before.
I'd been so close—so fucking close!—to having everything I'd ever wanted. I didn't want to be with Jake because some other relationship had failed. I wanted to be with him because he was the one that made everything in my life better. He sighed and bent to kiss her head. I couldn't take it. I couldn't watch him take her back after I'd had him. Without bothering to make sure I had anything I needed, I turned and walked out of the house. The one thing that was clear above all else was that he had lied to me. He said he loved me and that he'd always wanted me. Had he just said that to get in my pants? Didn't he realize that I still would have fucked him if he'd just said he needed a night of sex? It would be so much easier to handle if I knew last night was a one-time deal. Instead, he made me feel wanted and loved. He made me hope that I could really be with him the way I'd always dreamed.
I ignored Jake and just kept walking down the street. I didn't know where I was going. It didn't even fucking matter. Jake was faster than me, though. He always had been. He caught my arm and pulled me around to look at him.
"Jake, don't do this to me. I meant what I said last night—"
"So did I. It's always been you, Leah. Always. I didn't take her back. How could I when I have you now?"
I sniffled. "Really?"
"Really. I was confused, Leah. I didn't expect her to show up like that, and I honestly didn't think last night was real. The look on your face, though . . . that, and the fact that it didn't make sense for you to be there like that otherwise. Please don't be upset. I told her to take a hike because I had someone new. Someone so much better." He touched my cheek.
I smiled. Jake had always known exactly what to say to make me feel better, and this time was no exception. I nodded and leaned into him. "I love you."
"I love you, too, Leah. I always have. I'm sorry it took me so long to say it."
I shook my head. "You're not the only one. I could have said something years ago."
He kissed my hair. "The point is that we're finally saying it now, right?"
I looked up at him and kissed his jaw. "Right. Back to your house? My head still hurts."
"Yeah. Will you make some coffee? Yours is always better than mine."
I laughed and nodded. With his arm around my shoulders, we went back to his house.
A/N: There you have it. Happy Birthday again, ReneeFF! Thanks for reading.